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These last couple of days have been so hard. I know it's pointless

but lately I've been just wondering why this had to happen.

For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has this

in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might all

have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know. So they just

don't get it when my daughter is afraid of things constantly or

worried constantly. I know that our families think it's because I was

a SAHM and we didn't ever really have babysitters other than family

members once in a blue moon.

I'm sorry but I was a kid who was abandoned over and over again and

when I decided to have kids I wanted to be there for them. I'm not

saying one must stay home to be a good parent but I get tired of my

family and my husband's acting like we're cuckoo for doing this. They

are the type that go off on week long vacations alone and leave the

kids with the sitter. Or constantly go shopping all weekend while the

kids are with the sitter. Again I had my kids to be with them, not

pawm them off every chance I get.

Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're fighthing

this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel like

we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still a

mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

own battles. But why my little girl? Why anyone? I'm just so sad and

tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a normal

or happy life.

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I think many on this list can relate to all or most of what you have

written.

It's true it would be so much simpler if it were a physical disorder

that could be seen and understood. With ocd even if you explain it,

unless someone is living with it, it's pretty impossible for them to

really understand. The best you can hope for sometimes is that

others will be understanding of your situation without really

understanding it. I have learned to forgive people before they even

open their mouths, this I do for me not them. Family can be the

toughest.

I, like you have felt judged as a parent, many times. These kids

often are more dependent and often we find ourselves arranging our

lives around them. This may or may not be by choice, but certainly

it is geared to their needs. It's irrelevant now what you might have

done differently and what affect that might have had. You can be

sure it did not cause ocd, others will have their thoughts...

We've been a year and a half at this and in the beginning I felt

pretty raw and vulnerable about it all. You can develop a pretty

thick skin over time, and the looks, wonderings and comments just

don't penetrate any more, or not so much. I also decided I just

didn't want to use up my energy on this, I need it to deal with the

@#* & @ ocd!!!

I understand your feeling " tired of not being understood " . You will

be understood here, everyone on this list can relate to what you are

going through. Although individual circumstances may vary, we all

know only too well the " uphill battle " of living with ocd.

Hang in there and keep checking in here.

BIG HUG to you!!!

Barb

>

> These last couple of days have been so hard. I know it's pointless

> but lately I've been just wondering why this had to happen.

>

> For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

>

> My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

this

> in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might all

> have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

>

> And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

>

> It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know. So they

just

> don't get it when my daughter is afraid of things constantly or

> worried constantly. I know that our families think it's because I

was

> a SAHM and we didn't ever really have babysitters other than family

> members once in a blue moon.

>

> I'm sorry but I was a kid who was abandoned over and over again and

> when I decided to have kids I wanted to be there for them. I'm not

> saying one must stay home to be a good parent but I get tired of my

> family and my husband's acting like we're cuckoo for doing this.

They

> are the type that go off on week long vacations alone and leave the

> kids with the sitter. Or constantly go shopping all weekend while

the

> kids are with the sitter. Again I had my kids to be with them, not

> pawm them off every chance I get.

>

> Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

>

> I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

fighthing

> this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

like

> we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

a

> mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

> own battles. But why my little girl? Why anyone? I'm just so sad

and

> tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a

normal

> or happy life.

>

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Share on other sites

I think many on this list can relate to all or most of what you have

written.

It's true it would be so much simpler if it were a physical disorder

that could be seen and understood. With ocd even if you explain it,

unless someone is living with it, it's pretty impossible for them to

really understand. The best you can hope for sometimes is that

others will be understanding of your situation without really

understanding it. I have learned to forgive people before they even

open their mouths, this I do for me not them. Family can be the

toughest.

I, like you have felt judged as a parent, many times. These kids

often are more dependent and often we find ourselves arranging our

lives around them. This may or may not be by choice, but certainly

it is geared to their needs. It's irrelevant now what you might have

done differently and what affect that might have had. You can be

sure it did not cause ocd, others will have their thoughts...

We've been a year and a half at this and in the beginning I felt

pretty raw and vulnerable about it all. You can develop a pretty

thick skin over time, and the looks, wonderings and comments just

don't penetrate any more, or not so much. I also decided I just

didn't want to use up my energy on this, I need it to deal with the

@#* & @ ocd!!!

I understand your feeling " tired of not being understood " . You will

be understood here, everyone on this list can relate to what you are

going through. Although individual circumstances may vary, we all

know only too well the " uphill battle " of living with ocd.

Hang in there and keep checking in here.

BIG HUG to you!!!

Barb

>

> These last couple of days have been so hard. I know it's pointless

> but lately I've been just wondering why this had to happen.

>

> For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

>

> My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

this

> in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might all

> have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

>

> And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

>

> It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know. So they

just

> don't get it when my daughter is afraid of things constantly or

> worried constantly. I know that our families think it's because I

was

> a SAHM and we didn't ever really have babysitters other than family

> members once in a blue moon.

>

> I'm sorry but I was a kid who was abandoned over and over again and

> when I decided to have kids I wanted to be there for them. I'm not

> saying one must stay home to be a good parent but I get tired of my

> family and my husband's acting like we're cuckoo for doing this.

They

> are the type that go off on week long vacations alone and leave the

> kids with the sitter. Or constantly go shopping all weekend while

the

> kids are with the sitter. Again I had my kids to be with them, not

> pawm them off every chance I get.

>

> Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

>

> I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

fighthing

> this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

like

> we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

a

> mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

> own battles. But why my little girl? Why anyone? I'm just so sad

and

> tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a

normal

> or happy life.

>

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Share on other sites

Hi, have thrown in some thoughts below with what you wrote.

> For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

***I know lots of us have felt that way!

> My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

this in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might

all have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

***Like you said, lots of people have our OC quirks, but

the " disorder " is something else entirely. Probably your SIL and MIL

were thinking in those general terms and really don't understand what

actually having the disorder is like. I know I'm a bit of

a " checker " but nothing that is out of control/too much. Also I have

a bit of the scrupulosity type and that's something I've always just

managed easily. My son, however, presently has the scrupulosity

issues and he is just so severe! None of my comments/suggestions

have ever worked for him. At times I wonder if his mind will

just " snap " when it's really bothering him. Hard to watch/listen to!

> And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

***Yep, just have to ignore people, bite tongue! This is a good

place to come to to talk about things and just don't bring them up

with friends/family. Really, guess we should pity the others for not

having any understanding of mental illness!

> It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know.

****True!

> Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

****Actually, my thoughts are that a lot has to do with personality

of child. My oldest was always outgoing. I had to learn to deal

with that. I was such an extremely shy kid. So, example, I took him

to a new childcare/sitter, guess around pre or kindergarten age. I'm

wanting to hang around, make sure he's fine.... He looks at me and

tells me to leave, I can go! Not that he didn't, at ages 1,2,3,

sometimes do that crying thing if his favorite childcare teacher

wasn't there in the a.m. But as he got older, he did fine, as you

can see! My twins, I volunteered in the classroom when they were in

a preschool; one would not have stayed if I hadn't! Had to ease him

in over the year until I could leave.

Like you, I have pretty much stayed at my kids' sides. No sitters,

no going out a lot.... By choice, partly, sort of a homebody! But

like you, I'd like to be here for my kids (or rather felt that way as

they were growing up, practically grown now), as I knew they'd all be

gone at some point. LOL, not that I don't have some plans

for " retirement " (when they're gone) - read/read/read, looonnnggg

showers/baths, time to finally do a flower garden, watch movies/tv

stuff that I don't if they're around, go for walks, eat just ice

cream for supper (LOL).... Financially we couldn't do a lot of

things (only 2 family vacations when they were young!) but they've

grown up fine. With the twins, their shyness let up more by high

school I think. Actually mine did too!

You mentioned your childhood/abandonment? Well - you survived, now

have a family, love your child.... She'll be fine! She's got you!!

>

> I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

fighthing

> this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

like

> we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

a

> mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

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Share on other sites

Hi, have thrown in some thoughts below with what you wrote.

> For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

***I know lots of us have felt that way!

> My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

this in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might

all have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

***Like you said, lots of people have our OC quirks, but

the " disorder " is something else entirely. Probably your SIL and MIL

were thinking in those general terms and really don't understand what

actually having the disorder is like. I know I'm a bit of

a " checker " but nothing that is out of control/too much. Also I have

a bit of the scrupulosity type and that's something I've always just

managed easily. My son, however, presently has the scrupulosity

issues and he is just so severe! None of my comments/suggestions

have ever worked for him. At times I wonder if his mind will

just " snap " when it's really bothering him. Hard to watch/listen to!

> And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

***Yep, just have to ignore people, bite tongue! This is a good

place to come to to talk about things and just don't bring them up

with friends/family. Really, guess we should pity the others for not

having any understanding of mental illness!

> It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know.

****True!

> Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

****Actually, my thoughts are that a lot has to do with personality

of child. My oldest was always outgoing. I had to learn to deal

with that. I was such an extremely shy kid. So, example, I took him

to a new childcare/sitter, guess around pre or kindergarten age. I'm

wanting to hang around, make sure he's fine.... He looks at me and

tells me to leave, I can go! Not that he didn't, at ages 1,2,3,

sometimes do that crying thing if his favorite childcare teacher

wasn't there in the a.m. But as he got older, he did fine, as you

can see! My twins, I volunteered in the classroom when they were in

a preschool; one would not have stayed if I hadn't! Had to ease him

in over the year until I could leave.

Like you, I have pretty much stayed at my kids' sides. No sitters,

no going out a lot.... By choice, partly, sort of a homebody! But

like you, I'd like to be here for my kids (or rather felt that way as

they were growing up, practically grown now), as I knew they'd all be

gone at some point. LOL, not that I don't have some plans

for " retirement " (when they're gone) - read/read/read, looonnnggg

showers/baths, time to finally do a flower garden, watch movies/tv

stuff that I don't if they're around, go for walks, eat just ice

cream for supper (LOL).... Financially we couldn't do a lot of

things (only 2 family vacations when they were young!) but they've

grown up fine. With the twins, their shyness let up more by high

school I think. Actually mine did too!

You mentioned your childhood/abandonment? Well - you survived, now

have a family, love your child.... She'll be fine! She's got you!!

>

> I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

fighthing

> this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

like

> we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

a

> mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

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Share on other sites

Such great words of wisdom, Barb. You've been through things with

your dear son that some of us have never experienced, yet you are so

strong. I think that comes from time in the trenches. I couldn't

agree more with what you said. I love where you say the forgiveness

is for you. . So, so very true.

I remember hearing a pastor once say that it's in the valleys where

the fruit grows. That always stuck with me. It seems that the hard

times are sooooooo hard, but it's when and where we are motivated to

learn and help ourselves (and our loved ones). . . And we grow.

I can relate to what you are feeling, Jami. I've tried to educate my

family. Some listen and try to understand, and have been great

support, other don't. They will think what they want to think, and

most likely express it to me too. I just try to gently explain what

I've learned when they say something off the wall, in hopes that it

will help them to understand. The more you learn about OCD, the

better equipped you are to help them to understand. And if they don't

want to hear it, that's where the thick skin Barb talked about comes

in.

My sister and I both are what most would call, overprotective with our

kids, possibly due to how we grew up. Did either of us cause our

son's to have OCD though? No! Absolutely not! But, I will say that

my son's therapist pointed out that I've got to let our son experience

more, without being his constant safety net, so he can learn how to

function in this world he has to live in. That does not equate with

abandonment, in my mind, that equates with stepping back a bit and

letting him expose himself to situations that might make him anxious.

Our son is soon to be 16 and I know the therapist is right. And I've

been trying. I'm so used to protecting him that I do it without

thinking. Josh is going through changes, but I'm having to change my

ways too. I think it's especially hard for those of us who have kids

with OCD. As parents we want to help our kids and be there, and they

want us there too, because they are coping with anxiety attached to so

many things and situations. Therapy has taught me that exposure is

the way to helping them get better though.

I guarantee you that being a SAHM did not do it either. If that was

it, everybody from the 1950's including the Beaver and Wally would

have had OCD. <grin>

I know the " why " days. I still get them sometimes. But, once you

look past that, the next questions are " how " , " what " and " where " .

" How " can I help my child, and " what " can I do. " Where " do I find

that help. Then you do what you can. And when it all crumbles, which

it sometimes does with OCD, you grieve, then get up and start over

again.

You will find many here who can relate to what you are saying. We all

have our sad days, so don't feel you need to apologize. This is a

safe place where you can share your feelings and fears without concern

of judgement. Many know exactly the feelings you are expressing.

We all worry about our kids living a normal and happy life too. Now

that our son is older, my worries have changed to, " how will he get

through college " and " how will he ever be able to move out " (rofl, not

that I want him to, like that probably sounded). All we can do is

what we can do to try to help them achieve what they deserve.

Hang in there. Day by day. . .tomorrow might be better.

More big hugs (added to Barb's),

BJ

> >

> > These last couple of days have been so hard. I know it's pointless

> > but lately I've been just wondering why this had to happen.

> >

> > For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> > physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> > problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> > just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

> >

> > My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

> this

> > in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might all

> > have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> > don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> > People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> > truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

> >

> > And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> > just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> > parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> > telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

> >

> > It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> > think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> > Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know. So they

> just

> > don't get it when my daughter is afraid of things constantly or

> > worried constantly. I know that our families think it's because I

> was

> > a SAHM and we didn't ever really have babysitters other than family

> > members once in a blue moon.

> >

> > I'm sorry but I was a kid who was abandoned over and over again and

> > when I decided to have kids I wanted to be there for them. I'm not

> > saying one must stay home to be a good parent but I get tired of my

> > family and my husband's acting like we're cuckoo for doing this.

> They

> > are the type that go off on week long vacations alone and leave the

> > kids with the sitter. Or constantly go shopping all weekend while

> the

> > kids are with the sitter. Again I had my kids to be with them, not

> > pawm them off every chance I get.

> >

> > Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> > used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

> >

> > I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

> fighthing

> > this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> > confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

> like

> > we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

> a

> > mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

> > own battles. But why my little girl? Why anyone? I'm just so sad

> and

> > tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a

> normal

> > or happy life.

> >

>

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Share on other sites

Such great words of wisdom, Barb. You've been through things with

your dear son that some of us have never experienced, yet you are so

strong. I think that comes from time in the trenches. I couldn't

agree more with what you said. I love where you say the forgiveness

is for you. . So, so very true.

I remember hearing a pastor once say that it's in the valleys where

the fruit grows. That always stuck with me. It seems that the hard

times are sooooooo hard, but it's when and where we are motivated to

learn and help ourselves (and our loved ones). . . And we grow.

I can relate to what you are feeling, Jami. I've tried to educate my

family. Some listen and try to understand, and have been great

support, other don't. They will think what they want to think, and

most likely express it to me too. I just try to gently explain what

I've learned when they say something off the wall, in hopes that it

will help them to understand. The more you learn about OCD, the

better equipped you are to help them to understand. And if they don't

want to hear it, that's where the thick skin Barb talked about comes

in.

My sister and I both are what most would call, overprotective with our

kids, possibly due to how we grew up. Did either of us cause our

son's to have OCD though? No! Absolutely not! But, I will say that

my son's therapist pointed out that I've got to let our son experience

more, without being his constant safety net, so he can learn how to

function in this world he has to live in. That does not equate with

abandonment, in my mind, that equates with stepping back a bit and

letting him expose himself to situations that might make him anxious.

Our son is soon to be 16 and I know the therapist is right. And I've

been trying. I'm so used to protecting him that I do it without

thinking. Josh is going through changes, but I'm having to change my

ways too. I think it's especially hard for those of us who have kids

with OCD. As parents we want to help our kids and be there, and they

want us there too, because they are coping with anxiety attached to so

many things and situations. Therapy has taught me that exposure is

the way to helping them get better though.

I guarantee you that being a SAHM did not do it either. If that was

it, everybody from the 1950's including the Beaver and Wally would

have had OCD. <grin>

I know the " why " days. I still get them sometimes. But, once you

look past that, the next questions are " how " , " what " and " where " .

" How " can I help my child, and " what " can I do. " Where " do I find

that help. Then you do what you can. And when it all crumbles, which

it sometimes does with OCD, you grieve, then get up and start over

again.

You will find many here who can relate to what you are saying. We all

have our sad days, so don't feel you need to apologize. This is a

safe place where you can share your feelings and fears without concern

of judgement. Many know exactly the feelings you are expressing.

We all worry about our kids living a normal and happy life too. Now

that our son is older, my worries have changed to, " how will he get

through college " and " how will he ever be able to move out " (rofl, not

that I want him to, like that probably sounded). All we can do is

what we can do to try to help them achieve what they deserve.

Hang in there. Day by day. . .tomorrow might be better.

More big hugs (added to Barb's),

BJ

> >

> > These last couple of days have been so hard. I know it's pointless

> > but lately I've been just wondering why this had to happen.

> >

> > For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> > physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> > problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> > just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

> >

> > My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

> this

> > in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might all

> > have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> > don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> > People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> > truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

> >

> > And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> > just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> > parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> > telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

> >

> > It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> > think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> > Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know. So they

> just

> > don't get it when my daughter is afraid of things constantly or

> > worried constantly. I know that our families think it's because I

> was

> > a SAHM and we didn't ever really have babysitters other than family

> > members once in a blue moon.

> >

> > I'm sorry but I was a kid who was abandoned over and over again and

> > when I decided to have kids I wanted to be there for them. I'm not

> > saying one must stay home to be a good parent but I get tired of my

> > family and my husband's acting like we're cuckoo for doing this.

> They

> > are the type that go off on week long vacations alone and leave the

> > kids with the sitter. Or constantly go shopping all weekend while

> the

> > kids are with the sitter. Again I had my kids to be with them, not

> > pawm them off every chance I get.

> >

> > Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> > used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

> >

> > I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

> fighthing

> > this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> > confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

> like

> > we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

> a

> > mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

> > own battles. But why my little girl? Why anyone? I'm just so sad

> and

> > tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a

> normal

> > or happy life.

> >

>

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>

*****as I knew they'd all be

gone at some point. LOL, not that I don't have some plans

for " retirement " (when they're gone) - read/read/read, looonnnggg

showers/baths, time to finally do a flower garden, watch movies/tv

stuff that I don't if they're around, go for walks, eat just ice

cream for supper (LOL)...

Oh my! That sounds lovely. Maybe I did mean it when I said I was

worried Josh might not want to move out. Rofl <wiping eyes>

BJ

> Hi, have thrown in some thoughts below with what you wrote.

>

> > For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> > physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> > problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> > just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

>

> ***I know lots of us have felt that way!

>

>

> > My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

> this in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might

> all have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> > don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> > People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> > truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

>

> ***Like you said, lots of people have our OC quirks, but

> the " disorder " is something else entirely. Probably your SIL and MIL

> were thinking in those general terms and really don't understand what

> actually having the disorder is like. I know I'm a bit of

> a " checker " but nothing that is out of control/too much. Also I have

> a bit of the scrupulosity type and that's something I've always just

> managed easily. My son, however, presently has the scrupulosity

> issues and he is just so severe! None of my comments/suggestions

> have ever worked for him. At times I wonder if his mind will

> just " snap " when it's really bothering him. Hard to watch/listen to!

>

>

> > And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> > just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> > parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> > telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

>

> ***Yep, just have to ignore people, bite tongue! This is a good

> place to come to to talk about things and just don't bring them up

> with friends/family. Really, guess we should pity the others for not

> having any understanding of mental illness!

>

>

> > It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> > think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> > Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know.

>

> ****True!

>

>

> > Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> > used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

>

> ****Actually, my thoughts are that a lot has to do with personality

> of child. My oldest was always outgoing. I had to learn to deal

> with that. I was such an extremely shy kid. So, example, I took him

> to a new childcare/sitter, guess around pre or kindergarten age. I'm

> wanting to hang around, make sure he's fine.... He looks at me and

> tells me to leave, I can go! Not that he didn't, at ages 1,2,3,

> sometimes do that crying thing if his favorite childcare teacher

> wasn't there in the a.m. But as he got older, he did fine, as you

> can see! My twins, I volunteered in the classroom when they were in

> a preschool; one would not have stayed if I hadn't! Had to ease him

> in over the year until I could leave.

>

> Like you, I have pretty much stayed at my kids' sides. No sitters,

> no going out a lot.... By choice, partly, sort of a homebody! But

> like you, I'd like to be here for my kids (or rather felt that way as

> they were growing up, practically grown now), as I knew they'd all be

> gone at some point. LOL, not that I don't have some plans

> for " retirement " (when they're gone) - read/read/read, looonnnggg

> showers/baths, time to finally do a flower garden, watch movies/tv

> stuff that I don't if they're around, go for walks, eat just ice

> cream for supper (LOL).... Financially we couldn't do a lot of

> things (only 2 family vacations when they were young!) but they've

> grown up fine. With the twins, their shyness let up more by high

> school I think. Actually mine did too!

>

> You mentioned your childhood/abandonment? Well - you survived, now

> have a family, love your child.... She'll be fine! She's got you!!

>

>

>

>

> >

>

>

> > I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

> fighthing

> > this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> > confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

> like

> > we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

> a

> > mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

>

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Share on other sites

>

*****as I knew they'd all be

gone at some point. LOL, not that I don't have some plans

for " retirement " (when they're gone) - read/read/read, looonnnggg

showers/baths, time to finally do a flower garden, watch movies/tv

stuff that I don't if they're around, go for walks, eat just ice

cream for supper (LOL)...

Oh my! That sounds lovely. Maybe I did mean it when I said I was

worried Josh might not want to move out. Rofl <wiping eyes>

BJ

> Hi, have thrown in some thoughts below with what you wrote.

>

> > For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> > physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> > problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> > just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

>

> ***I know lots of us have felt that way!

>

>

> > My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

> this in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might

> all have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> > don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> > People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> > truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

>

> ***Like you said, lots of people have our OC quirks, but

> the " disorder " is something else entirely. Probably your SIL and MIL

> were thinking in those general terms and really don't understand what

> actually having the disorder is like. I know I'm a bit of

> a " checker " but nothing that is out of control/too much. Also I have

> a bit of the scrupulosity type and that's something I've always just

> managed easily. My son, however, presently has the scrupulosity

> issues and he is just so severe! None of my comments/suggestions

> have ever worked for him. At times I wonder if his mind will

> just " snap " when it's really bothering him. Hard to watch/listen to!

>

>

> > And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> > just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> > parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> > telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

>

> ***Yep, just have to ignore people, bite tongue! This is a good

> place to come to to talk about things and just don't bring them up

> with friends/family. Really, guess we should pity the others for not

> having any understanding of mental illness!

>

>

> > It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> > think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> > Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know.

>

> ****True!

>

>

> > Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> > used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

>

> ****Actually, my thoughts are that a lot has to do with personality

> of child. My oldest was always outgoing. I had to learn to deal

> with that. I was such an extremely shy kid. So, example, I took him

> to a new childcare/sitter, guess around pre or kindergarten age. I'm

> wanting to hang around, make sure he's fine.... He looks at me and

> tells me to leave, I can go! Not that he didn't, at ages 1,2,3,

> sometimes do that crying thing if his favorite childcare teacher

> wasn't there in the a.m. But as he got older, he did fine, as you

> can see! My twins, I volunteered in the classroom when they were in

> a preschool; one would not have stayed if I hadn't! Had to ease him

> in over the year until I could leave.

>

> Like you, I have pretty much stayed at my kids' sides. No sitters,

> no going out a lot.... By choice, partly, sort of a homebody! But

> like you, I'd like to be here for my kids (or rather felt that way as

> they were growing up, practically grown now), as I knew they'd all be

> gone at some point. LOL, not that I don't have some plans

> for " retirement " (when they're gone) - read/read/read, looonnnggg

> showers/baths, time to finally do a flower garden, watch movies/tv

> stuff that I don't if they're around, go for walks, eat just ice

> cream for supper (LOL).... Financially we couldn't do a lot of

> things (only 2 family vacations when they were young!) but they've

> grown up fine. With the twins, their shyness let up more by high

> school I think. Actually mine did too!

>

> You mentioned your childhood/abandonment? Well - you survived, now

> have a family, love your child.... She'll be fine! She's got you!!

>

>

>

>

> >

>

>

> > I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

> fighthing

> > this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> > confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

> like

> > we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

> a

> > mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

>

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Share on other sites

Wow. I could have written your post. HUGE hugs to you.

3 of our 4 children are " special needs " , 2 with mental health issues

and one with physical issues. Yes, the physical needs are somehow

easier- even with all the surgeries and medical appts.

Though, I do know why our OCD/anxiety daughter is how she is. Her

birth was incredibly traumatic and many, many, bad decisions were

made. (Navy Medical Resident Hospital) There are many days when I cry

thinking back 8 years to how things could have gone differently - but

I know I can not dwell on it. I need to move on for the well-being

of all of us!

We homeschool, and for a long time my family thought that was why our

daughter is like she is. It all changed when they stayed with us for

10 days at Christmas and lived through our OCD/anxiety world. After

that, they have been nothing but supportive and were thrilled when

meds were finally started.

More hugs to you - we all understand here!!

Amy in NoVA

>

> These last couple of days have been so hard. I know it's pointless

> but lately I've been just wondering why this had to happen.

>

> For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

>

> My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

this

> in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might all

> have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

>

> And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

>

> It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know. So they

just

> don't get it when my daughter is afraid of things constantly or

> worried constantly. I know that our families think it's because I

was

> a SAHM and we didn't ever really have babysitters other than family

> members once in a blue moon.

>

> I'm sorry but I was a kid who was abandoned over and over again and

> when I decided to have kids I wanted to be there for them. I'm not

> saying one must stay home to be a good parent but I get tired of my

> family and my husband's acting like we're cuckoo for doing this.

They

> are the type that go off on week long vacations alone and leave the

> kids with the sitter. Or constantly go shopping all weekend while

the

> kids are with the sitter. Again I had my kids to be with them, not

> pawm them off every chance I get.

>

> Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

>

> I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

fighthing

> this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

like

> we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

a

> mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

> own battles. But why my little girl? Why anyone? I'm just so sad

and

> tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a

normal

> or happy life.

>

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Share on other sites

Wow. I could have written your post. HUGE hugs to you.

3 of our 4 children are " special needs " , 2 with mental health issues

and one with physical issues. Yes, the physical needs are somehow

easier- even with all the surgeries and medical appts.

Though, I do know why our OCD/anxiety daughter is how she is. Her

birth was incredibly traumatic and many, many, bad decisions were

made. (Navy Medical Resident Hospital) There are many days when I cry

thinking back 8 years to how things could have gone differently - but

I know I can not dwell on it. I need to move on for the well-being

of all of us!

We homeschool, and for a long time my family thought that was why our

daughter is like she is. It all changed when they stayed with us for

10 days at Christmas and lived through our OCD/anxiety world. After

that, they have been nothing but supportive and were thrilled when

meds were finally started.

More hugs to you - we all understand here!!

Amy in NoVA

>

> These last couple of days have been so hard. I know it's pointless

> but lately I've been just wondering why this had to happen.

>

> For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

>

> My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

this

> in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might all

> have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

>

> And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

>

> It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know. So they

just

> don't get it when my daughter is afraid of things constantly or

> worried constantly. I know that our families think it's because I

was

> a SAHM and we didn't ever really have babysitters other than family

> members once in a blue moon.

>

> I'm sorry but I was a kid who was abandoned over and over again and

> when I decided to have kids I wanted to be there for them. I'm not

> saying one must stay home to be a good parent but I get tired of my

> family and my husband's acting like we're cuckoo for doing this.

They

> are the type that go off on week long vacations alone and leave the

> kids with the sitter. Or constantly go shopping all weekend while

the

> kids are with the sitter. Again I had my kids to be with them, not

> pawm them off every chance I get.

>

> Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

>

> I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

fighthing

> this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

like

> we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

a

> mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

> own battles. But why my little girl? Why anyone? I'm just so sad

and

> tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a

normal

> or happy life.

>

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Share on other sites

Some of you blame yourself because you were a SAHM. I worked full-time

and got home close to 6:00 every night and therefore I blame myself

for that. We have to stop blaming ourselves. It it was a physical

illness we would not be as hard on ourselves and I think people would

see it in a different light. There is no why. When I read the post

each of us have a different story but they all have the same illness.

So how can it be the parents fault. We have enough problem as it is

without blaming ourselves.

Let any or our relatives stay with our kids a few days and deal with

the school a couple of times and we will see how they will feel

afterwards. Let them walk in our shoes for a little while. My sister

sometime tells me that I spoil my child but she doesn't have to deal

with her when she is in crisis and can not deal with my dd the same

way I deal with my other children I have to be extra careful.

Have a peaceful day!

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Amen sista!

>

> Some of you blame yourself because you were a SAHM. I worked full-

time

> and got home close to 6:00 every night and therefore I blame myself

> for that. We have to stop blaming ourselves. It it was a physical

> illness we would not be as hard on ourselves and I think people

would

> see it in a different light. There is no why. When I read the post

> each of us have a different story but they all have the same

illness.

> So how can it be the parents fault. We have enough problem as it is

> without blaming ourselves.

> Let any or our relatives stay with our kids a few days and deal

with

> the school a couple of times and we will see how they will feel

> afterwards. Let them walk in our shoes for a little while. My

sister

> sometime tells me that I spoil my child but she doesn't have to

deal

> with her when she is in crisis and can not deal with my dd the same

> way I deal with my other children I have to be extra careful.

>

> Have a peaceful day!

>

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Share on other sites

My son is in boy scouts and they were having a fundraiser for this summer's

scout camp. It was a dinner and a service auction. One of the boys was

auctioning 2 hours of house cleaning and his dad announced, he'll do an amazing

job ... he's got ocd. Everyone kind of chuckled, and I know this family and he

does have ocd, as does his dad, but it is not debilitating. He just likes for

things to be in precise order. I just crings when these real issues are so

downplayed.

I wanted to tell you all this ... all the ones whose children have been

bullied, left out and have no friends.

My son, now age 12, has been bullied for most of his life. I cannot count the

number of times. He still to this day has many acquaintances, but no real

friends. We are in the Navy and have been in TN for 2 years, so enough time to

know people, but not too long.

So we had this church dinner and service auction and everyone had their

service posted on a board ... babysitting, yard work, cleaning, car washing,

etc. Well people bid and bid generously, but when they announced my son's

auction (4 hours of yard work) ... people jumped up out of their seats and

started bidding. The bidding went up and up and up. It was to the point other

people felt really bad and they had to cap the amount that could be bid on him.

He then had another 4 hours of yard work auctioned and the exact same thing

happened. I wanted to tell you this not to brag on my son, but to tell you that

though he has had problems with kids, now that he is getting older, adults truly

adore and appreciate him. He still doesn't relate to kids great, but he has

always been more comfortable with adults and now that he is getting older,

things are so much better for him.

in TN

svdbyhislove wrote:

Such great words of wisdom, Barb. You've been through things with

your dear son that some of us have never experienced, yet you are so

strong. I think that comes from time in the trenches. I couldn't

agree more with what you said. I love where you say the forgiveness

is for you. . So, so very true.

I remember hearing a pastor once say that it's in the valleys where

the fruit grows. That always stuck with me. It seems that the hard

times are sooooooo hard, but it's when and where we are motivated to

learn and help ourselves (and our loved ones). . . And we grow.

I can relate to what you are feeling, Jami. I've tried to educate my

family. Some listen and try to understand, and have been great

support, other don't. They will think what they want to think, and

most likely express it to me too. I just try to gently explain what

I've learned when they say something off the wall, in hopes that it

will help them to understand. The more you learn about OCD, the

better equipped you are to help them to understand. And if they don't

want to hear it, that's where the thick skin Barb talked about comes

in.

My sister and I both are what most would call, overprotective with our

kids, possibly due to how we grew up. Did either of us cause our

son's to have OCD though? No! Absolutely not! But, I will say that

my son's therapist pointed out that I've got to let our son experience

more, without being his constant safety net, so he can learn how to

function in this world he has to live in. That does not equate with

abandonment, in my mind, that equates with stepping back a bit and

letting him expose himself to situations that might make him anxious.

Our son is soon to be 16 and I know the therapist is right. And I've

been trying. I'm so used to protecting him that I do it without

thinking. Josh is going through changes, but I'm having to change my

ways too. I think it's especially hard for those of us who have kids

with OCD. As parents we want to help our kids and be there, and they

want us there too, because they are coping with anxiety attached to so

many things and situations. Therapy has taught me that exposure is

the way to helping them get better though.

I guarantee you that being a SAHM did not do it either. If that was

it, everybody from the 1950's including the Beaver and Wally would

have had OCD. <grin>

I know the " why " days. I still get them sometimes. But, once you

look past that, the next questions are " how " , " what " and " where " .

" How " can I help my child, and " what " can I do. " Where " do I find

that help. Then you do what you can. And when it all crumbles, which

it sometimes does with OCD, you grieve, then get up and start over

again.

You will find many here who can relate to what you are saying. We all

have our sad days, so don't feel you need to apologize. This is a

safe place where you can share your feelings and fears without concern

of judgement. Many know exactly the feelings you are expressing.

We all worry about our kids living a normal and happy life too. Now

that our son is older, my worries have changed to, " how will he get

through college " and " how will he ever be able to move out " (rofl, not

that I want him to, like that probably sounded). All we can do is

what we can do to try to help them achieve what they deserve.

Hang in there. Day by day. . .tomorrow might be better.

More big hugs (added to Barb's),

BJ

> >

> > These last couple of days have been so hard. I know it's pointless

> > but lately I've been just wondering why this had to happen.

> >

> > For starters sometimes I almost wish my daughter had some sort of

> > physical sickness instead. Then at least people could see what the

> > problem was. Time and again I can sense people either think we are

> > just making it all up or they're pretty much just humoring us.

> >

> > My SIL and MIL were saying the other day how everyone really has

> this

> > in them to some extent. Well no actually we don't. Yes we might all

> > have certain things about us that are quirky or something but we

> > don't " all " suffer the way my daughter and others with OCD suffer.

> > People have started using OCD so loosely that I don't think people

> > truly believe or understand how debilitating it is.

> >

> > And then so much of my daughter's issues aren't seen by others and

> > just by us at home. So then you get people who think it's your

> > parenting style or that the child is just " putting it on " . I'm

> > telling you it gets so old and we're only just beginning at this.

> >

> > It really seems most people who know anything about OCD just really

> > think it's being phobic of germs and washing your hands a bunch.

> > Honestly that seems like the extent of what people know. So they

> just

> > don't get it when my daughter is afraid of things constantly or

> > worried constantly. I know that our families think it's because I

> was

> > a SAHM and we didn't ever really have babysitters other than family

> > members once in a blue moon.

> >

> > I'm sorry but I was a kid who was abandoned over and over again and

> > when I decided to have kids I wanted to be there for them. I'm not

> > saying one must stay home to be a good parent but I get tired of my

> > family and my husband's acting like we're cuckoo for doing this.

> They

> > are the type that go off on week long vacations alone and leave the

> > kids with the sitter. Or constantly go shopping all weekend while

> the

> > kids are with the sitter. Again I had my kids to be with them, not

> > pawm them off every chance I get.

> >

> > Maybe my daughter's seperaton anxiety wouldn't be so bad if I had

> > used a babysitter more but I'll never know.

> >

> > I'm sorry to be so negative. I really just feel like we're

> fighthing

> > this huge uphill battle with no end in sight. That and I feel so

> > confused about what to do with our daughter's schooling. I feel

> like

> > we've devoted our lives to being great parents and things are still

> a

> > mess. I know in life there are no guarantees and everyone has their

> > own battles. But why my little girl? Why anyone? I'm just so sad

> and

> > tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a

> normal

> > or happy life.

> >

>

---------------------------------

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Awww, , that's great! My son, 19, also has Aspergers so no

friends, as you said " acquaintances " I guess since no social life.

He has also always been much more appreciated by adults and I'm so

thankful for those special people!

With his church, he had been on a mission trip to Mexico the past 2

summers. I did chip in with some $$ for those trips, and they did

some fundraising, but really no great $ raised. Last year I had paid

a deposit towards it and then later, after fundraising, went there to

pay the rest of the $ for the trip and was told he didn't owe any

more, what with fundraising. And, really, unless they were getting

some $ from other than fundraising, I knew there should have been a

balance. ANYWAY, this year I had told him he couldn't go, have other

uses for $. So he had told his youth group leader that he wouldn't

be going to Mexico. At a later day, his leader came up to him and

told him that he's going, the church will pay! They treat him so

well. (And I wonder, since I know he has $, if the leader may not be

pitching in; but either way, it's so nice that the adults there are

so good to .)

And at college he had joined the Science Club last year but this year

is also on student government and was chosen Treasurer. And his

chemistry teacher...or was it biology...anyway, asked him if he could

tutor 2 students who were't doing well, which he agreed to.

I'm so thankful for these adults! And that college age students seem

to accept him. Some student/ " friend " got him so he is now going to

the gym at college to work out during his free hours. And

has always been my " couch potato " son.

So, , I'll bet there's lots of good moments like this ahead for

your son and so much more acceptance by peers!

>>

> So we had this church dinner and service auction and everyone had

their service posted on a board ... babysitting, yard work, cleaning,

car washing, etc. Well people bid and bid generously, but when they

announced my son's auction (4 hours of yard work) ... people jumped

up out of their seats and started bidding. The bidding went up and

up and up. It was to the point other people felt really bad and they

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So true! Since ocd grows and thrives in all kinds of circumstances

(home situations) it really can't be that can it?! It seems to me no

matter what the 'problem' Mum often comes under scrutiny, and who

comes out untarnished?! Not me. I adopted the term " good enough

mother " from the book of the same name. Works for me...

Since it's Sunday I'll add " Let he amongst us who is without sin cast

the first stone " (think that's how it goes).

Barb

>

> Some of you blame yourself because you were a SAHM. I worked full-

time

> and got home close to 6:00 every night and therefore I blame myself

> for that. We have to stop blaming ourselves. It it was a physical

> illness we would not be as hard on ourselves and I think people

would

> see it in a different light. There is no why. When I read the post

> each of us have a different story but they all have the same

illness.

> So how can it be the parents fault. We have enough problem as it is

> without blaming ourselves.

> Let any or our relatives stay with our kids a few days and deal with

> the school a couple of times and we will see how they will feel

> afterwards. Let them walk in our shoes for a little while. My sister

> sometime tells me that I spoil my child but she doesn't have to deal

> with her when she is in crisis and can not deal with my dd the same

> way I deal with my other children I have to be extra careful.

>

> Have a peaceful day!

>

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In a message dated 2/16/2008 3:33:05 PM Central Standard Time,

jamijesse@... writes:

I'm just so sad and

tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a normal

or happy life.

I have Ocd and I lead a very normal life (What anyone would call normal,

who really is normal anyway) I figure everyone has something. Ocd is my

something. At least I and my child knows what there something is. Do you know

how many people are walking this planet with major issues and have no clue. I

feel blessed to know what I have so I can improve my life. I can also

improve my childs life greatly because I have dealt with my own issues. That

in

its self is a true blessing. I am truly happy and I have had Ocd so bad that I

did not leave my own home for six months. I got through it. Your daughter

will have good times and bad times. All she needs to know is that she has

someone who loves her no matter what. It sounds like you already do that.

She is very blessed.

Lynn

**************Ideas to please picky eaters. Watch video on AOL Living.

(http://living.aol.com/video/how-to-please-your-picky-eater/rachel-campos-duffy/

2050827?NCID=aolcmp00300000002598)

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Thank you to everyone. You are very kind.

>

>

> In a message dated 2/16/2008 3:33:05 PM Central Standard Time,

> jamijesse@... writes:

>

> I'm just so sad and

> tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a

normal

> or happy life.

>

>

>

> I have Ocd and I lead a very normal life (What anyone would call

normal,

> who really is normal anyway) I figure everyone has something.

Ocd is my

> something. At least I and my child knows what there something

is. Do you know

> how many people are walking this planet with major issues and have

no clue. I

> feel blessed to know what I have so I can improve my life. I can

also

> improve my childs life greatly because I have dealt with my own

issues. That in

> its self is a true blessing. I am truly happy and I have had Ocd

so bad that I

> did not leave my own home for six months. I got through it. Your

daughter

> will have good times and bad times. All she needs to know is that

she has

> someone who loves her no matter what. It sounds like you already

do that.

> She is very blessed.

> Lynn

>

>

>

> **************Ideas to please picky eaters. Watch video on AOL

Living.

> (http://living.aol.com/video/how-to-please-your-picky-eater/rachel-

campos-duffy/

> 2050827?NCID=aolcmp00300000002598)

>

>

>

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Thank you to everyone. You are very kind.

>

>

> In a message dated 2/16/2008 3:33:05 PM Central Standard Time,

> jamijesse@... writes:

>

> I'm just so sad and

> tired of being misunderstood. I'm worried she'll never lead a

normal

> or happy life.

>

>

>

> I have Ocd and I lead a very normal life (What anyone would call

normal,

> who really is normal anyway) I figure everyone has something.

Ocd is my

> something. At least I and my child knows what there something

is. Do you know

> how many people are walking this planet with major issues and have

no clue. I

> feel blessed to know what I have so I can improve my life. I can

also

> improve my childs life greatly because I have dealt with my own

issues. That in

> its self is a true blessing. I am truly happy and I have had Ocd

so bad that I

> did not leave my own home for six months. I got through it. Your

daughter

> will have good times and bad times. All she needs to know is that

she has

> someone who loves her no matter what. It sounds like you already

do that.

> She is very blessed.

> Lynn

>

>

>

> **************Ideas to please picky eaters. Watch video on AOL

Living.

> (http://living.aol.com/video/how-to-please-your-picky-eater/rachel-

campos-duffy/

> 2050827?NCID=aolcmp00300000002598)

>

>

>

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