Guest guest Posted October 3, 2004 Report Share Posted October 3, 2004 At 10:31 AM 10/3/2004, you wrote: >I am sorry if I have sounded cruel or unfelling here it is not my >intention, nor is it the way I feel, but it seems now I am >experienceing both sides of the coin and that is truly confusing to >me. I want to be good and do right till the end of my days, but I >know that it is inevitable no matter how hard I try there are those I >am going to hurt. God be with you all....Hugs...Patti You don't sound cruel or unfeeling at all, Patti! I welcome your input. Sometimes the frustration of dealing with things you don't understand (and some you do understand too well!) just builds up to the point where you have to blow off some steam. I understand that the brain is strange, and I'm trying hard to cope with the fact that my mother can have violent tremors when lifting a spoon, so that she has to be fed, but can then pick up a cup the next moment and be perfectly steady. Or can put her hand right on the box of Kleenex and be told that's it, that's what she's looking for, and say, " I can't find it, you'll have to give it to me. " I don't know why those things happen, but I'm trying hard not to assume they're purposeful. And I do so appreciate your voice here because it reminds me that I'm not seeing the whole picture. None of us are. I've said it before and I will continue to say that I think your bravery in coming here and talking to us with such candor is nothing short of phenomenal. Thank you so very much. dargie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Thank you Dargie, I am so glad you understood what I was trying to say. I appreciate your support and understanding....Hugs...Patti > >I am sorry if I have sounded cruel or unfelling here it is not my > >intention, nor is it the way I feel, but it seems now I am > >experienceing both sides of the coin and that is truly confusing to > >me. I want to be good and do right till the end of my days, but I > >know that it is inevitable no matter how hard I try there are those I > >am going to hurt. God be with you all....Hugs...Patti > > You don't sound cruel or unfeeling at all, Patti! I welcome your > input. Sometimes the frustration of dealing with things you don't > understand (and some you do understand too well!) just builds up to the > point where you have to blow off some steam. I understand that the brain > is strange, and I'm trying hard to cope with the fact that my mother can > have violent tremors when lifting a spoon, so that she has to be fed, but > can then pick up a cup the next moment and be perfectly steady. Or can put > her hand right on the box of Kleenex and be told that's it, that's what > she's looking for, and say, " I can't find it, you'll have to give it to > me. " I don't know why those things happen, but I'm trying hard not to > assume they're purposeful. And I do so appreciate your voice here because > it reminds me that I'm not seeing the whole picture. None of us are. > I've said it before and I will continue to say that I think your > bravery in coming here and talking to us with such candor is nothing short > of phenomenal. Thank you so very much. > dargie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Hello Donna R., You know your mother I do not and would not presume to make any kind of a decision. I only know that with my mother and even with myself some timeswe can do things and a few minutes later we may not be able to do that thing at all. I am sure you have experienced times when you could easily remember someones name and then anoter time may not be able to remember it at all even though you know who they are. I think everyone does this on occasion due to stress or preoccupation. That is the way this disease works. you never know one moment to the next what you are going to be able to do all I can do is try and I feel if I do that then I have done my best. I am sure that there are those that like they did when they were children use things just to get attenetion. Perhaps out of fear or other reasons. I just think that this should be monitored and the patient given the benefit of the doubt as it could be what is happening in the brain. We operate daily with a damaged brain and I think depending on what part of the brain is affected most is why we get the differences in actions. I am sorry if I offended you as that was not my intention. Please forgive me.....Hugs...Patti > Patti, and others, > > I want to clear up what I said about " faking it " I do not mean that LBD > people fake it. I mean that what lots of caregivers think so because > sometimes they can do exactly what they need to and the next minute they > can not do the very same thing. Especially they are good with doing the > things they like to do or eat something they like. > > I, in no way wanted to imply they are actually faking it. It is a > refrain many caregivers talk about. > > Sorry Patti to imply any thing else. > > Donna R Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Patti, You have not offended me. I was trying to say it only appears as faking. I believe you are right and sometimes I can and sometimes I cannot do the same thing. I did not not mean to offend you. Donna R Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 At 02:23 AM 10/4/2004, you wrote: >Patti, and others, > >I want to clear up what I said about " faking it " I do not mean that LBD >people fake it. I mean that what lots of caregivers think so because >sometimes they can do exactly what they need to and the next minute they >can not do the very same thing. Especially they are good with doing the >things they like to do or eat something they like. Exactly! I know it's just paranoia on my part to think it, and to be honest I do have sufficient reason to believe it of my mother who used to fake all sorts of things when she was well. This irony is not lost on me, but I do know better. It's just sometimes very hard not to get snappish about it because you never know where you're at. Just this morning I turned around for, literally, like five seconds to get her insulin out, and when I turned back there was orange juice all over everything! And then, you just pray that one day they'll smile and say, " You got me. Yeah I've been yanking your chain all this time. " and you'll be pissed, but you'll have your LO back. Believing in " faking it " is sometimes the way we deny the loss we're feeling and the greater one we sense just around some as yet unturned corner. d. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2004 Report Share Posted October 4, 2004 Dargie noted: And then, you just pray that one day they'll smile and say, " You got me. Yeah I've been yanking your chain all this time. " and you'll be pissed, but you'll have your LO back. ******************** Uh huh - right before you win the lottery! <g> carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2008 Report Share Posted September 12, 2008 Hey group; Melodie in Colusa here. Been off the boards for awhile and came back on cuz I missed all the conversations about WLS. Melodie in Colusa 6 years post op in June 2008. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2008 Report Share Posted September 14, 2008 Welcome back Melodie... I'm more off than on the group... so busy with my four young'uns. This week Kayla turns 7, which means for a couple of weeks that I am the mother of four who are 7, 8, 9 & 10! (Tony turns 11 in October) Elle ** ----- Original Message ----- From: rjsmagic Hey group; Melodie in Colusa here. Been off the boards for awhile and came back on cuz I missed all the conversations about WLS. -- Melodie in Colusa (6 years post op in June 2008.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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