Re: My son is making me crazy!!

[Guest guest]

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> My daughter, 12 and son, 10 (he has PDD-NOS) do not get along.

Every day they fight, scream, yell. Now its getting physical, knock

down drag out. My son likes to instigate the fighting and it makes my

daughter REALLY angry, they just had yet another fight and he has

horrible bruises all over his arms and on his back where she accosted

him and bit him (he bit her first and she retaliated). Are there any

sibling groups geared towards this kind of behavior. They have been

to a child psychologist, whole lot of good it did but I think a group

setting works better for them. I swear they hate each other, is there

any hope for them coming to love each other. My daughter does want to

be close to him but he makes it darn impossible because he thrives on

irritating her. He does the same thing with our dog, he purposely

gets her riled up to the point where she is growling and chases him.

PLEASE!!! this is making me crazy, there is NO peace in my home when

they are both here. My son is like this with everyone, how do I get

him to calm down

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Of course ultimately it's a social skills issue and stems from his

motivational deficit in caring about the " feelings " of others. How do

you make him care? You can't, but you can get him to behave like he

cares, by offering an incentive that he does care about ( A bigger

better deal). Secondarily he likely has a sensory need for the input

he gets from the confrontations ( gets his adrenalin flowing) so look

for incentives that do the same, like taking him to 6 flags

rollercoster rides, go cart racing, wrestling, etc.... Get him to see

that it's more fun to be nice than to fight.

[Guest guest]

Obviously, this won't work if he is being aggessive but can you teach your daughter how to not reinforce his behavior. If he is getting something out of getting her upset (and what sibling doesn't) maybe his behavior would lessen if she could not repsond to him. This would be a difficult thing to teach her but maybe if it started working she would be more motivated to try it.

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