Re: if you don't want to heal icky details, pleas...

[Guest guest]

Elle,

I agree with Jo that you were not maudlin at all. I know from personal

experience that pain can make your life absolutely miserable. While my pain is

not " that " kind of pain, I have dealt with every day never go away pain for

the last two years. I can't imagine the raw pain of the excoriated skin. I

know it had to be like the worst yeast infection I have ever had and

multiplied it many times over.

Only someone who has dealt with long term pain can understand how hard

it is on the mind and body to have never ending pain. what makes me crazy is

when I am having periods of increased pain, I don't know if it is stress or

emotional eating but my diarrhea issues multiply. I lie in the bed and think

the pain medication is working and then have a 10 BM in an hour watery diarrhea

episode. I crawl out of bed, sometimes with help. Imagine straining with

colon cramping and straining from Bowel issues when you are having back pain

that hurts to breathe. I had an incredibly hard time in august, and some of

your words echoed in my heart.

No one who has never endured severe chronic pain can understand. I used

to see people in the hospital and hear them recallling the pain meds they

were taking and wonder how they are functioning, let alone walking and talking.

Now my med list looks like that, and I wonder if it is karma? I mean you said

you were still in pain with 2 hydrocodone in your system. I still have pain

with all my meds, and wonder how that is possible. I have nausea with the

meds and wonder why the heck anyone would spend good money on them or want to

take them...LOL. The pain doc tells me that addicts don't describe the efffects

of pain meds the same way I do. All I do is itch and puke. add that to the

pain and sometimes I don't know which is worse. So in short you have a kindred

spirit here in the understanding of how pain long term can make you crazy,

depressed and absolutely feeling like you have no hope. I hope your docs

realize how much your suffering and get on the ball with controlling your

problem.

I have a friend who suffered with pain, lung problems and lots of

inflammatory problems (salivary gland infections, kidney stones, heart

inflammation,

pneumonia)and for 5 years was told that it was everything from FM, depression

and hypochondria. Last August she was diagnosed with sarcoidosis and is now

having seizures and on a walker at age 45. So no matter how bad we are, there

is always worse things that can happen.

Lets hope the improvement continues. What all did you try?

Mel

In a message dated 12/10/2008 2:55:17 A.M. Central Standard Time,

moobabies@... writes:

In all these years on the list, you have been very reserved

in " complaining " about lifes woes. So...NO, I don't think you were

being overly maudlin. In fact, in my mind, I tripled what you were

describing because I would bet you still held back on telling the

horror.

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[Guest guest]

Mel wrote: " So in short you have a kindred

spirit here in the understanding of how pain long term can make you crazy,

depressed and absolutely feeling like you have no hope. "

Well said Mel.. People who have never felt this way have no idea how it is.? The

hopeless feeling can be so overwhelming, and most people just think you are not

'trying' hard enough to solve the issues.? Most people think a person who

suffers like this is just 'whining' and not putting enough effort out to get the

right 'help', even though you are beating yourself up just trying to make it

through each day.

Elle,

You are NOT in any way a whiner or?complainer.? I am glad you are able to 'talk'

to us here on the list.? Sometimes it is the only place a person feels 'safe'

enough to express some of the horrific things that are going on in our lives.? I

can truley empathise with your pain issues.? Like Mel, I too live with constant

pain, though not the same as yours, and deal with the neverending hopelessness

of the pain med cycle.

It was good to see everyone's suggestions for you.? Did any of them work really

well for you?? I wish I had some suggestions for you, but I had never heard of

your particular condition before you shared with us.

Please keep us up to date on you.? I dont think anyone here thinks of you as

complaining too much at all!

Anne

in Santee