Re: Question for the group / Tom

[Guest guest]

Hi Tom-

I always acknowledged my dad's hallucinations as being

real, and talked him through them with that in mind. Keep

in mind, the last 2 1/2 years of his life he was unable to talk

and could only grumble what sounded like a 'yes' or 'no'. So,

knowing he was hallucinating became creative in itself. When

I saw my dad acting out in fear, looking beyond me or even

in a particular area I would, for example, say that 'even I am

scared, I don't want to see that either, so please turn this way

and walk with me, even hold my hand.' I would apologize to

my dad for having to see what he was looking at, always

verifying what he saw.

I guess it thought of his hallucinations as my own reality. I

wouldn't want someone telling me that I wasn't on my computer

right now, typing a reply to you.

This was my experiences, and worked for my dad. Please

let us know what you decide, and what works.

Thinking of you during this time in your journey-

Sandie

-- Question for the group...

Hello all,

My condolences to those of you that have recently lost your loved one. I

was hoping for some input on how the rest of you respond to the

hallucinations of those you care for. Do you just play along with what

he/she is saying, or do you try talk them back to reality? At first, my

mother's hallucinations were pretty harmless stuff like dogs on the floor

and such, and we mostly played along, but now they are getting more

complicated, and she is quite adamant when you try to tell her anything

different. I would appreciate any suggestions. Thanks.

[Guest guest]

Hi Tom. My Gram's (my grandmother) hallucinations started out as

people coming out of photographs, then progessed to people out of

thin air and now we are back to coming out of photographs & mirrors.

My policy has to always play along. This is reality to her. For

her, it is totally real. To try to convince her otherwise (or scream

at her about it as my nasty uncle did) only makes matters worse. It

would be like someone telling you that NO, you DID NOT sit across the

table from your spouse this morning and eat breakfast - or whatever

you KNOW that you did. It would confuse you more and scare you -

might make you think the other person was off their nut and you might

not trust them anymore or tell them how you were feeling because they

don't understand.

There were a few times when the hallucinations (we called them THE

PEOPLE) scared Gram. We played with that too. I remember one time

that Gram was sure there was a man in the closet. My aunt took a

broom and opened the door and beat that man half to death and threw

him out the front door. She stood outside a few minutes

and 'watched' him run away, never to been seen again.

You just do what you have to do -- you step into their reality and it

is like an acting experience -- improvisational acting. Gram did ask

me once if I saw THE PEOPLE and I said, " No, but I know you do and I

believe you. " She also has stuffed animals and dolls. They are all

her 'babies'. We talk to them too. Cuddle them, dress them and feed

them with little fake bottles. They are real to her, so we play

along. She asks questions about them -- like why the little boy doll

doesn't grow. She remembered getting him from another woman who

didn't want him. So, I told her that he was a midget and that is why

the other woman didn't want him and why he wouldn't get any bigger.

She was fine with that explanation. (My apologies if I just offended

someone -- I know the PC term is little people, but Gram wouldn't

understand that.) She sometimes wonders why the kids don't eat

much. I tell her how healthy they look and perhaps they eat when she

is out of the room.

We just make stuff up as we go along. It is just to comfort her. We

also use some redirection. For instance, she was upset the other day

telling me how Grandpa hasn't been to see her since she has been

there (the NH). Well, I didn't tell her that was because he has been

dead for years. I made a comment about that not being very nice and

wasn't a good way to be - acknowledging her emotions, then redirected

her to another issue. Sometimes she won't be redirected and then you

have to think creatively.

I hope this helps a little.

-- Wolfie