Guest guest Posted April 6, 2008 Report Share Posted April 6, 2008 There could some Oppositional Deviant Disorder going on or he could be being a typical 10 yr. old. Why is it that we have to pathologize everything? It struck me as interesting though that you didn't ask him why he doesn't want to take the road. Is he being bullied? Is it a sensory issue? Marilyn Pyles Front Royal, VA Doxakis wrote: I'm wondering something. My 10 yr old with PDD-NOS gives me so much trouble when it comes to rules. For instance, he got poison ivy really bad from taking the trail to the school bus stop instead of taking the road. Once I figured out he was taking this trail, I told him NOT to take the trail anymore, not just because of the poison ivy (he had a horrible reaction to it, face swelled up) but also because youre not visiable and you never know if there are any creeps in the woods. Since then, Ive caught him several times, the last time I took his Transformers away for the day, then a few days, then a week, and I warned him if he did it again he would lose them Permanently. I caught him taking the trail this morning, so I took his transformers away from him. He came home from school and saw his brother playing with them and he got really angry, I told him quite simply that they didnt belong to him anymore because he had yet again broke my rule. He is angry right now, telling me that I hate him, etc and He doent like it here and even called up family to ask them for transformers. I called them and told them NO!! he was trying to play a con to get more transformers, he told me it didnt matter that I took them away because they were going to get him more. I stopped that dead in the tracks and advised them he was in trouble for breaking the rule. He doesnt seem to get cause and effect concept of that if you break a rule there will be consequences. He automatically says things like he wished he was dead and that I wanted him dead, hate stuff like he is trying to put a guilt trip on me, after awhile I stopped responding to this talk. I shouldnt have to keep telling him that I do love him and I dont want him dead, etc. I dont know if this is part of the ASD or if he is just trying "reverse psychology" on me. Anyone else have this problem and any advi ce. When he is disciplined he acts like Im doing so for no reason, like im just being mean to him for kicks. According to him, he only "loves me when he is NOT in trouble. I trhink its bullcrap that he tries to use this to get his way, So ive told him TOUGH!! TOO BAD!! Pack up or back up–use SkyDrive to transfer files or keep extra copies. Learn how. You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 6, 2008 Report Share Posted April 6, 2008 He does have sensory issues, he isnt being bullied on the way to the bus stop. I dont know why he likes to take the trail so much, he is like a tree hugger, he loves trees. Ive been down the trail with him before and he seems captivated by the way the trees canopy above, lots of oohhs and wows, thats cool he says. I have asked him why he doesnt want to take the road, just because I didnt include that in the message doesnt mean that I didnt ask. His response was "But mooooooooooooom! The trees are just so pretty. Are typical 10 yr olds normally defiant, yes with some things but he is defiant about everything, anything. Thats why I was asking if this is part of ASD becauseI dont know. To: autism-georgia From: hillbillyhelper2@...Date: Sun, 6 Apr 2008 12:10:02 -0700Subject: Re: Is this part of ASD? There could some Oppositional Deviant Disorder going on or he could be being a typical 10 yr. old. Why is it that we have to pathologize everything? It struck me as interesting though that you didn't ask him why he doesn't want to take the road. Is he being bullied? Is it a sensory issue? Marilyn Pyles Front Royal, VA Doxakis <jenniferdoxakishotmail> wrote: I'm wondering something. My 10 yr old with PDD-NOS gives me so much trouble when it comes to rules. For instance, he got poison ivy really bad from taking the trail to the school bus stop instead of taking the road. Once I figured out he was taking this trail, I told him NOT to take the trail anymore, not just because of the poison ivy (he had a horrible reaction to it, face swelled up) but also because youre not visiable and you never know if there are any creeps in the woods. Since then, Ive caught him several times, the last time I took his Transformers away for the day, then a few days, then a week, and I warned him if he did it again he would lose them Permanently. I caught him taking the trail this morning, so I took his transformers away from him. He came home from school and saw his brother playing with them and he got really angry, I told him quite simply that they didnt belong to him anymore because he had yet again broke my rule. He is angry right now, telling me that I hate him, etc and He doent like it here and even called up family to ask them for transformers. I called them and told them NO!! he was trying to play a con to get more transformers, he told me it didnt matter that I took them away because they were going to get him more. I stopped that dead in the tracks and advised them he was in trouble for breaking the rule. He doesnt seem to get cause and effect concept of that if you break a rule there will be consequences. He automatically says things like he wished he was dead and that I wanted him dead, hate stuff like he is trying to put a guilt trip on me, after awhile I stopped responding to this talk. I shouldnt have to keep telling him that I do love him and I dont want him dead, etc. I dont know if this is part of the ASD or if he is just trying "reverse psychology" on me. Anyone else have this problem and any advi ce. When he is disciplined he acts like Im doing so for no reason, like im just being mean to him for kicks. According to him, he only "loves me when he is NOT in trouble. I trhink its bullcrap that he tries to use this to get his way, So ive told him TOUGH!! TOO BAD!! Pack up or back up–use SkyDrive to transfer files or keep extra copies. Learn how. You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. Use video conversation to talk face-to-face with Windows Live Messenger. Get started! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2008 Report Share Posted April 7, 2008 Sounds like he's stimming on the trees, which often wins out over rules and safety awareness. Can you possibly build in a walk along the trail (with an adult) as a reward of some sort? The " hate " stuff sounds like manipulative behavior, as you've already figured out - all kids are manipulative, and it sounds like you are doing well sticking to your boundaries. We are all manipulative by human nature, even us " grown-ups " - we do all sorts of things to get people to act, think, feel the way we need them to. Typically, as adults, though, we keep our manipulation to more appropriate methods (most of us anyway!). Kids (especially ASD) are still learning about social appropriateness (i.e. " you don't accuse someone of hating you just because you're mad at them " ), and they still haven't learned how to regulate their emotions all that well. It's important to identify the emotion they're feeling - anger, disappointment (at not getting to walk through the woods every morning). So, you might try identifying and empathizing with his feelings, and then asking him to help solve the problem - if kids are in on making the rules (and consequences), they're more likely to follow them. I also think consistent boundaries are crucial for our kids (ASD and non-ASD) because we all live in a world of rules - the more we can help them learn that there are consequences for breaking the rules, the better chance they have to survive in this world as adults. I don't think you are pathologizing by wondering if your child's behavior is " ASD, " because sometimes having a different framework helps us understand what strategy to use. Hope this helps! Good luck. Jodi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 A lot of times kids get labeled ODD when they have severe sensory integration dysfunction. I have an advocate you helped me understand this and get help for my little boy. Read The Out Of Sync Child. I forget the author right now. With severe sensory integration dysfunction, the child only thinks about survival. The consequences don't matter because his very basic need of survival is being threatened. He can't tolerate the environment and his central nervous system fails him miserably. I have learned autism is a neurobiological disorder and our reasoning does not always apply to how they reason. That's why behavioral approaches don't always work with intelligent kids with autism. A really good person who helped me understand this is Sharon Gudger. You may want to contact her. sharongudger@... Cas>> > I'm wondering something. My 10 yr old with PDD-NOS gives me so much trouble when it comes to rules. For instance, he got poison ivy really bad from taking the trail to the school bus stop instead of taking the road. Once I figured out he was taking this trail, I told him NOT to take the trail anymore, not just because of the poison ivy (he had a horrible reaction to it, face swelled up) but also because youre not visiable and you never know if there are any creeps in the woods. Since then, Ive caught him several times, the last time I took his Transformers away for the day, then a few days, then a week, and I warned him if he did it again he would lose them Permanently. I caught him taking the trail this morning, so I took his transformers away from him. He came home from school and saw his brother playing with them and he got really angry, I told him quite simply that they didnt belong to him anymore because he had yet again broke my rule. He is angry right now, telling me that I hate him, etc and He doent like it here and even called up family to ask them for transformers. I called them and told them NO!! he was trying to play a con to get more transformers, he told me it didnt matter that I took them away because they were going to get him more. I stopped that dead in the tracks and advised them he was in trouble for breaking the rule.> > He doesnt seem to get cause and effect concept of that if you break a rule there will be consequences. He automatically says things like he wished he was dead and that I wanted him dead, hate stuff like he is trying to put a guilt trip on me, after awhile I stopped responding to this talk. I shouldnt have to keep telling him that I do love him and I dont want him dead, etc. I dont know if this is part of the ASD or if he is just trying "reverse psychology" on me. Anyone else have this problem and any advi ce. When he is disciplined he acts like Im doing so for no reason, like im just being mean to him for kicks. According to him, he only "loves me when he is NOT in trouble. I trhink its bullcrap that he tries to use this to get his way, So ive told him TOUGH!! TOO BAD!! > _________________________________________________________________> Pack up or back up–use SkyDrive to transfer files or keep extra copies. Learn how.> hthttp://www.windowslive.com/skydrive/overview.html?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_Refresh_skydrive_packup_042008> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 Wow, In my day's of walking to school, I too took the wooded trails. However a much different time back then (won;t say how long ago). We have a 12 yr old girl that is special needs but not on the autism spectrum, and we get the same reaction when we try to lay down the rules. Sometimes they just don;t get it. What to do? Hmmm. Pray, maybe find some way to reward the return of the transformers if he agrees to start using the street. I know it sounds like a cave in, may as my wife says's compromise. Kids are so hard to figure out aren't they? Can't wait till we finally get a manual for them, anyone know when it's coming out to Books a Million? Don't know if anything I have said made any sense or not, Good luck Dale A lot of times kids get labeled ODD when they have severe sensory integration dysfunction. I have an advocate you helped me understand this and get help for my little boy. Read The Out Of Sync Child. I forget the author right now. With severe sensory integration dysfunction, the child only thinks about survival. The consequences don't matter because his very basic need of survival is being threatened. He can't tolerate the environment and his central nervous system fails him miserably. I have learned autism is a neurobiological disorder and our reasoning does not always apply to how they reason. That's why behavioral approaches don't always work with intelligent kids with autism. A really good person who helped me understand this is Sharon Gudger. You may want to contact her. sharongudger@... Cas >> > I'm wondering something. My 10 yr old with PDD-NOS gives me so much trouble when it comes to rules. For instance, he got poison ivy really bad from taking the trail to the school bus stop instead of taking the road. Once I figured out he was taking this trail, I told him NOT to take the trail anymore, not just because of the poison ivy (he had a horrible reaction to it, face swelled up) but also because youre not visiable and you never know if there are any creeps in the woods. Since then, Ive caught him several times, the last time I took his Transformers away for the day, then a few days, then a week, and I warned him if he did it again he would lose them Permanently. I caught him taking the trail this morning, so I took his transformers away from him. He came home from school and saw his brother playing with them and he got really angry, I told him quite simply that they didnt belong to him anymore because he had yet again broke my rule. He is angry right now, telling me that I hate him, etc and He doent like it here and even called up family to ask them for transformers. I called them and told them NO!! he was trying to play a con to get more transformers, he told me it didnt matter that I took them away because they were going to get him more. I stopped that dead in the tracks and advised them he was in trouble for breaking the rule. > > He doesnt seem to get cause and effect concept of that if you break a rule there will be consequences. He automatically says things like he wished he was dead and that I wanted him dead, hate stuff like he is trying to put a guilt trip on me, after awhile I stopped responding to this talk. I shouldnt have to keep telling him that I do love him and I dont want him dead, etc. I dont know if this is part of the ASD or if he is just trying " reverse psychology " on me. Anyone else have this problem and any advi ce. When he is disciplined he acts like Im doing so for no reason, like im just being mean to him for kicks. According to him, he only " loves me when he is NOT in trouble. I trhink its bullcrap that he tries to use this to get his way, So ive told him TOUGH!! TOO BAD!! > _________________________________________________________________> Pack up or back up–use SkyDrive to transfer files or keep extra copies. Learn how.> hthttp://www.windowslive.com/skydrive/overview.html?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_Refresh_skydrive_packup_042008 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.