Re: My 14 yo son

[Guest guest]

Hi Cameron.

Welcome to the group! It really is great to have such an awesome thrapist like

your son has. Keep him!!! I have never been fortuante enough to have a therapist

who will talk to my kids on the phone!

I thought I had a full plate with three kids, I can't imagine seven!!

You have come to the right place for sharing and support. It sounds like you are

doing all you can for your son at this time.You will most likely see a big

improvement in your son's behavior and frustration with medication, although

keep in mind that the first med you try often is not the right one! The meds

should definitely help his anxiety, and help him to be a little more

cooperative.

I wish you luck! Hang in there! We are all here for you!

Hugs

Judy

mom to Brittany -will be 13 on the 29th

- Brittany's twin-3-29-95---4-7-95

-11-ocd,bipolar disorder

iel-6-ocd

[Guest guest]

cameron

i would like to promise you a bright happy future, but obviously no one can do

that! but i will tell you that my son, who is now 11, has been fighting OCD for

many many years (we didnt know it until he was about 6 but in retrospect i now

recognize that many of his 'cute' behaviours at age 2 were really OCD!). and

although im sorry to tell you that it doesnt go away, and his life is NOT

perfect, with medication (once you get it right, and that can take a while) AND

THERAPY my son has many friends and manages great in school.

getting the meds right is a long slow process (if your MD is doing it slowly and

carefully which is what you want), and therapy can be painful but if the

therapist is good it will work.. my son often breaks down crying in therapy but

it never fails.. in the car on the way home he tells me how his therapist is so

good and helps him so much and how he likes her alot....

that is NOT to say that he never has a bad day, but before the meds and therapy

we could barely go on a family trip anywhere cause all his siblings (and ok, his

parents too!!) would be ready to strangle him before wed even leave! and it was

a rare occasion for him to come home from school and not be angry. now, thank

g-d, all that has changed.

so i would say, yes, there is hope for a '[positive future', as long as you dont

expect it all to disappear!

best of luck

judy

My 14 yo son

Well, since Dianne was brave enough to post about her daughter, I will

post about my son. I just found this group last week, so I haven't

wanted to just jump in. However, in a short time my wife and I have

have amassed what feels like a book worth of experiences ... probably

with chapters that many of you have already read.

I'll try and make it brief, but last summer everything was pretty

normal. My wife and I have seven children, the oldest being Z who

turned 14 that summer. Unknown to us, while officiating soccer, he

started realizing that he was a little more concerned about germs than

he should be. That grew and grew until Thanksgiving night when he

came to us and told us he had a problem and needed help. That next

week he was diagnosed with OCD.

It seemed to grow like wild fire. We went to see two different sets

of therapists, both which were worthless, and we decided to take

Christmas off and start fresh in the beginning of January. By the

time we started with his current psychologist, it was taking up 5 - 7

hours of Z's day every day just to get up in the morning and go to bed

at night.

The psychologist we started with in January was at a nearby university

and is the regional expert on OCD. He has 18 years of experience and

80% of his practice is OCD. Why we didn't start with him, I don't

know. That is a point for others. Start with the person who knows

the most.

Anyway, Z actually progressed very quickly and very well with CBT. He

seemed very motivated and pushed through a lot of stuff. We hit a

week in February where the anxiety got very high and Z would just go

crazy at night, yelling, hitting things, etc. At the peak, on

Valentine's night, we called his psychologist at 11:30 and he spent 45

minutes bringing Z " down " . After that, Z did better managing those

anger/frustration outburst ... although he put three holes in our

walls during that week.

Through February and into March Z continued to do well, although his

progress slowed somewhat. However, the last week has been hell and we

are so discouraged. Z has regressed in almost every way, giving back

most of the ground he had gained against OCD and has had high anxiety

outbursts every day ... sometimes twice a day. He seems to have

rolled over into depression now, sleeping last night on his floor with

only a thin blanket because he couldn't get into his bed. It doesn't

help that his psychologist is out of town and wont be back until next

Monday. I feel that every day he looses a little bit more.

Today we are probably going to start Z on medicine. He has been

against it, wanting to fight the battles without it. But, it just

seems cruel, both to him and our family, to make him continue down

this road without at least trying some medication. We realize that it

will take time to build up, etc. and, in the end, may do nothing or,

worse, give him side effects. But we feel like we have to try ...

While I realize that most of you have had to battle this disorder

much, much longer than we have, we are tired. This OCD has taken away

everything that my son used to enjoy. He was a bright, nice, good kid

and OCD has turned him into a sad, tormented, angry/depressed kid. It

would be nice to hear about a positive future.

Thanks,

Cameron

[Guest guest]

Hi Cameron, welcome!

So sorry Z has had a setback but so glad you do have such a

competent therapist!

I'm sure Z does feel depressed. But I hope he reminds himself that

he was doing well at one time, he'll get there again!

Tell him I said to please try some medication. My OCD son is 19 and

refuses. Wants to fight this on his own, partly the reason for

refusal. His OCD is called " scrupulosity OCD " where it's all mixed

up with religion/faith and having bad thoughts around that. And

probably just some other thoughts too that he feels bad for having,

wanting to be " good " etc.

My son was on Celexa in 9th and 10th grade and it helped. He'll say

it didn't, like OCD got better on its own. Ha! Anyway, he decided

to go off it, thought he could handle things. Now when his OCD

began, it was all types of physical rituals/compulsions, none of the

problems he has now. (You're right with calling it " wild fire " ,

that first time it was just like that, things popping up) So

anyway, that was better. He went off Celexa the end of May. And

then the 2nd semester of 11th grade...which would have been around 7-

8 months later, his OCD returned with all this new stuff.

Now that doesn't happen with EVERYone, but it does for some and did

for us. I wished he had stayed on the medication longer. Your son

is lucky to have a good therapist, our little area hasn't any close

by that are experienced. The first go-round we handled it on our

own, with the great support of this group and lots of

reading/research. This time we did find one therapist for him to go

to but stopped end of January due to insurance ending and then they

weren't really making progress, though it was nice for him to have

someone to vent/talk to, won't talk with me in any detail about his

thoughts.

We have tried some alternatives. We used inositol powder initially

when his OCD began in 6th grade and it worked well for him. But we

tried it again this past year and even at higher dosage, but no

effect at all. And then we've tried some other alternatives. Right

now he quit trying St. 's Wort and just wants to take " nothing. "

My son didn't have contamination but did have to do things " just

right. " And getting in bed was one of them. He would get on his

bed, wouldn't be the " right way " or " right feeling " , plus he would

feel something bad would happen to him if he didn't do these things,

so he'd get on bed, get up, try again.... This could go on 30

minutes or 2+ hours, sigh! VERY stressful nights for all.

We have had some great times inbetween all this though, where OCD

wasn't a problem. I really feel if he would try medication just

to " see " the difference between now/after, it would help. Just a 6

month trial even! When he took Celexa I think we began to get the

most results after about 16 weeks. That was true with inositol

powder too, the longer on it, the better things got.

So many people do better with medication AND therapy if the therapy

is too tough without meds. I've been a member of this group since

my son first got OCD years ago, and many parents " drop out " after

their children are better so YES things do get better for lots of

sufferers.

Soccer - I love soccer! My other 2 sons played it. Well, one still

is playing at college but not on the college team.

single mom, 3 sons

, 19, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers/mild

>

> Well, since Dianne was brave enough to post about her daughter, I

will

> post about my son. I just found this group last week, so I haven't

> wanted to just jump in. However, in a short time my wife and I

have

> have amassed what feels like a book worth of experiences ...

probably

> with chapters that many of you have already read.

>

> I'll try and make it brief, but last summer everything was pretty

[Guest guest]

Thank you to all of you who have responded so quickly. That is very

kind. Again, I realize that many of you have fought through this

battle much longer than we have. It is just so draining and my heart

goes out to my son and my wife who have to bear the most of it.

We have been VERY, VERY blessed with our psychologist. Over the

almost three months we have been seeing him, he has taken our

" emergency " after-hours calls three times (and I've felt guilty every

time we have called. But, when you don't know what to do and your kid

is bouncing off the walls, screaming ...). Each time he talked Z

through a significant anxiety attack (isn't it just a little

irritating that they can scream at you and then when they talk to the

psychologist they calm down and open up. Are you kidding me??? :-)

). These calls have lasted anywhere from 45 min. to an hour. In

addition, he did a telephone appointment once during the day when we

couldn't fit the trip into our schedule (it takes an hour to get

there, an hour for the appointment, and an hour home. A lot of time

twice a week). He did all of those at no cost to us. I have been

very grateful for that because our insurance changed just before we

went to him and I didn't realize that the one I chose wouldn't cover

his services. So, we have been paying for everything out of pocket

and will for the remainder of this year, which is a whole other issue.

We also had an issue with regards to medication with his pediatrician.

He is triple board certified with experience in running a pediatric

psychiatry unit, so we felt that he would be a great choice to manage

Z's meds if we went that route. He required an hour long appointment,

which we were fine with, but within the scope of that appointment was

somewhat derogatory towards CBT, especially its utilization in the

abscence of mediation. We felt like he undermined both the

relationship and the progress that my son had made with the

psychologist. I thought that was very unprofessional. Needless to

say, we are not going back to him.

Z has an appointment this afternoon with my brother-in-law, a FP who

has several patients that he monitors meds for OCD. I feel it IS the

right step in helping Z calm some of the storms so that the CBT has a

better chance to take hold and work.

Again, thanks for all of your support. As you all know, there are many

people who want to offer you opionions and suggestions, but few that

have gone through this type of experience and really UNDERSTAND what

this disorder does. I appreciate it.

Cameron

[Guest guest]

Hello Cameron and welcome to the group. It is hard to put it out

there isn't it? The pay off is that you will no longer be alone with

this, there are many who understand and can sympathize.

Much of what you describe is familiar. Our son was 15 when ocd

hit 'out of the blue'. CBT was started in the beginning and it

helped, and then the ocd exploded and became extremely severe. At

that point there was no choice and medication was started. In our

case is helped right away and gave some much needed relief to all of

us. So medication, for some, is part of the picture.

We have been through a year of challenges with medications, so I will

just caution you to " stay low and go slow " , which is what most

recommend. We got into difficulties at the higher doses. Like with

your son we have had many holes in our walls, and some big challenges

with agressive behavior. Without medication the ocd is too severe

and there are behavioral issues, and on high doses or wrong

medications there are the same. I offer this not to alarm, but to

alert you to this, and maybe save you some of the pain we have had to

go through.

Our son, like yours, has said he needs to do this by himself(think

it's the age), without medication, and had gone off it, got really

bad again and is back on but at a low dose. The aggression part is,

I feel, a cover for the anxiety, again, perhaps the age and their

way. Also, the ocd is trying to control them, so they try to control

everything around them and can't, then outbursts... Not fun, I

know. I can't imagine dealing with this with seven children, we

only have the one.

It sounds like you have a fabulous psychologist, that is gold! I'm

betting that with this doctor and with some medication to turn down

the intensity of the ocd, your son will learn to manage this disorder

and will get his life back. It will get better, it just might take

some time.

Hugs to you!

Barb

Ontario, Canada

Son, 16, OCD, LD

>

> Well, since Dianne was brave enough to post about her daughter, I

will

> post about my son. I just found this group last week, so I haven't

> wanted to just jump in. However, in a short time my wife and I have

> have amassed what feels like a book worth of experiences ...

probably

> with chapters that many of you have already read.

>

> I'll try and make it brief, but last summer everything was pretty

> normal. My wife and I have seven children, the oldest being Z who

> turned 14 that summer. Unknown to us, while officiating soccer, he

> started realizing that he was a little more concerned about germs

than

> he should be. That grew and grew until Thanksgiving night when he

> came to us and told us he had a problem and needed help. That next

> week he was diagnosed with OCD.

>

> It seemed to grow like wild fire. We went to see two different sets

> of therapists, both which were worthless, and we decided to take

> Christmas off and start fresh in the beginning of January. By the

> time we started with his current psychologist, it was taking up 5 -

7

> hours of Z's day every day just to get up in the morning and go to

bed

> at night.

>

> The psychologist we started with in January was at a nearby

university

> and is the regional expert on OCD. He has 18 years of experience

and

> 80% of his practice is OCD. Why we didn't start with him, I don't

> know. That is a point for others. Start with the person who knows

> the most.

>

> Anyway, Z actually progressed very quickly and very well with CBT.

He

> seemed very motivated and pushed through a lot of stuff. We hit a

> week in February where the anxiety got very high and Z would just go

> crazy at night, yelling, hitting things, etc. At the peak, on

> Valentine's night, we called his psychologist at 11:30 and he spent

45

> minutes bringing Z " down " . After that, Z did better managing those

> anger/frustration outburst ... although he put three holes in our

> walls during that week.

>

> Through February and into March Z continued to do well, although his

> progress slowed somewhat. However, the last week has been hell and

we

> are so discouraged. Z has regressed in almost every way, giving

back

> most of the ground he had gained against OCD and has had high

anxiety

> outbursts every day ... sometimes twice a day. He seems to have

> rolled over into depression now, sleeping last night on his floor

with

> only a thin blanket because he couldn't get into his bed. It

doesn't

> help that his psychologist is out of town and wont be back until

next

> Monday. I feel that every day he looses a little bit more.

>

> Today we are probably going to start Z on medicine. He has been

> against it, wanting to fight the battles without it. But, it just

> seems cruel, both to him and our family, to make him continue down

> this road without at least trying some medication. We realize that

it

> will take time to build up, etc. and, in the end, may do nothing or,

> worse, give him side effects. But we feel like we have to try ...

>

> While I realize that most of you have had to battle this disorder

> much, much longer than we have, we are tired. This OCD has taken

away

> everything that my son used to enjoy. He was a bright, nice, good

kid

> and OCD has turned him into a sad, tormented, angry/depressed kid.

It

> would be nice to hear about a positive future.

>

> Thanks,

> Cameron

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, Cameron.

So glad you decided to chime in. After watching my 11

yo son make steady progress and then hit a wall, I

think maybe it just gets too hard for them to do the

really tough work. And that can be so discouraging to

them that they become hopeless, frustrated, depressed.

I'll bet your son will feel better when his doctor

returns.

Meanwhile, hang in there. Good idea to at least try

the meds.

You're obviously doing everything you can to help your

child.

--- pokey4stocks wrote:

> Well, since Dianne was brave enough to post about

> her daughter, I will

> post about my son. I just found this group last

> week, so I haven't

> wanted to just jump in. However, in a short time my

> wife and I have

> have amassed what feels like a book worth of

> experiences ... probably

> with chapters that many of you have already read.

>

> I'll try and make it brief, but last summer

> everything was pretty

> normal. My wife and I have seven children, the

> oldest being Z who

> turned 14 that summer. Unknown to us, while

> officiating soccer, he

> started realizing that he was a little more

> concerned about germs than

> he should be. That grew and grew until Thanksgiving

> night when he

> came to us and told us he had a problem and needed

> help. That next

> week he was diagnosed with OCD.

>

> It seemed to grow like wild fire. We went to see

> two different sets

> of therapists, both which were worthless, and we

> decided to take

> Christmas off and start fresh in the beginning of

> January. By the

> time we started with his current psychologist, it

> was taking up 5 - 7

> hours of Z's day every day just to get up in the

> morning and go to bed

> at night.

>

> The psychologist we started with in January was at a

> nearby university

> and is the regional expert on OCD. He has 18 years

> of experience and

> 80% of his practice is OCD. Why we didn't start

> with him, I don't

> know. That is a point for others. Start with the

> person who knows

> the most.

>

> Anyway, Z actually progressed very quickly and very

> well with CBT. He

> seemed very motivated and pushed through a lot of

> stuff. We hit a

> week in February where the anxiety got very high and

> Z would just go

> crazy at night, yelling, hitting things, etc. At

> the peak, on

> Valentine's night, we called his psychologist at

> 11:30 and he spent 45

> minutes bringing Z " down " . After that, Z did better

> managing those

> anger/frustration outburst ... although he put three

> holes in our

> walls during that week.

>

> Through February and into March Z continued to do

> well, although his

> progress slowed somewhat. However, the last week

> has been hell and we

> are so discouraged. Z has regressed in almost every

> way, giving back

> most of the ground he had gained against OCD and has

> had high anxiety

> outbursts every day ... sometimes twice a day. He

> seems to have

> rolled over into depression now, sleeping last night

> on his floor with

> only a thin blanket because he couldn't get into his

> bed. It doesn't

> help that his psychologist is out of town and wont

> be back until next

> Monday. I feel that every day he looses a little

> bit more.

>

> Today we are probably going to start Z on medicine.

> He has been

> against it, wanting to fight the battles without it.

> But, it just

> seems cruel, both to him and our family, to make him

> continue down

> this road without at least trying some medication.

> We realize that it

> will take time to build up, etc. and, in the end,

> may do nothing or,

> worse, give him side effects. But we feel like we

> have to try ...

>

> While I realize that most of you have had to battle

> this disorder

> much, much longer than we have, we are tired. This

> OCD has taken away

> everything that my son used to enjoy. He was a

> bright, nice, good kid

> and OCD has turned him into a sad, tormented,

> angry/depressed kid. It

> would be nice to hear about a positive future.

>

> Thanks,

> Cameron

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page.

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[Guest guest]

Cameron,

My heart goes out to you and your wife. My son, is 13 and the oldest

of five children. I know that it feels nearly impossible to meet the needs of

your other children when one is going through something like this. I imagine

you are both exhausted, both physically and emotionally (and possibly

financially).

Your son is lucky to have such loving and committed parents. Your wife is

lucky to have you ... there are many on this board who have a husband who is in

denial as to the severity and immediate need to treat this horrible condition.

Welcome!

in TN

pokey4stocks wrote:

Thank you to all of you who have responded so quickly. That is very

kind. Again, I realize that many of you have fought through this

battle much longer than we have. It is just so draining and my heart

goes out to my son and my wife who have to bear the most of it.

We have been VERY, VERY blessed with our psychologist. Over the

almost three months we have been seeing him, he has taken our

" emergency " after-hours calls three times (and I've felt guilty every

time we have called. But, when you don't know what to do and your kid

is bouncing off the walls, screaming ...). Each time he talked Z

through a significant anxiety attack (isn't it just a little

irritating that they can scream at you and then when they talk to the

psychologist they calm down and open up. Are you kidding me??? :-)

). These calls have lasted anywhere from 45 min. to an hour. In

addition, he did a telephone appointment once during the day when we

couldn't fit the trip into our schedule (it takes an hour to get

there, an hour for the appointment, and an hour home. A lot of time

twice a week). He did all of those at no cost to us. I have been

very grateful for that because our insurance changed just before we

went to him and I didn't realize that the one I chose wouldn't cover

his services. So, we have been paying for everything out of pocket

and will for the remainder of this year, which is a whole other issue.

We also had an issue with regards to medication with his pediatrician.

He is triple board certified with experience in running a pediatric

psychiatry unit, so we felt that he would be a great choice to manage

Z's meds if we went that route. He required an hour long appointment,

which we were fine with, but within the scope of that appointment was

somewhat derogatory towards CBT, especially its utilization in the

abscence of mediation. We felt like he undermined both the

relationship and the progress that my son had made with the

psychologist. I thought that was very unprofessional. Needless to

say, we are not going back to him.

Z has an appointment this afternoon with my brother-in-law, a FP who

has several patients that he monitors meds for OCD. I feel it IS the

right step in helping Z calm some of the storms so that the CBT has a

better chance to take hold and work.

Again, thanks for all of your support. As you all know, there are many

people who want to offer you opionions and suggestions, but few that

have gone through this type of experience and really UNDERSTAND what

this disorder does. I appreciate it.

Cameron

---------------------------------

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

[Guest guest]

Cameron, had to smile at this, where you wrote: isn't it just a

little irritating that they can scream at you and then when they

talk to the psychologist they calm down and open up.

So true! I suffer just a " tad " of what my son does, my own bit

of " OCD " but without the " disorder " part. Would he ever take advice

from me? No. I have told him what helps me, things he can

try...just does no good. OR back when he used to have meltdowns

(usually when the compulsions turned in to lots of " repeats " or just

lasting too long), my mom who understood NOT a thing about OCD

(wouldn't listen or even read on it) could walk in and he would calm

down since she was there, trying to be " polite " to grandma I guess.

(we live with her)

But with his OCD, he can read about others with the very same thing,

same thoughts, it's just " different for him " .

As insane and emotionally and physically drained/exhausted as I felt

when his OCD first began with 24/7 compulsions, I sometimes would

like to go back to those more " visual " actions than his having these

thoughts of going to hell.

I'm very lucky in that this is my more patient, nicest son dealing

with OCD. My other 2 sons are much more " outwardly " emotional and I

know I'd have more to deal with if they were the ones with this

severity of OCD.

My oldest always first hit the wall or furniture with his teenage,

hormonal emotions (you know, when they hear the word " no " or some

peer/girlfriend thing is going on). However, when he actually

finally put a hole in the wall, he did feel bad and didn't complain

about the grounding. He didn't stop the outbursts but must have hit

more softly in the future! I did see him outside once with a

branch in his hand, hitting a big tree. SIGH! Maturity and age

really did help with this, rarely have dealt with that since...age

18 or so? He'll be 23 in April. Actually pleasant to be around

now. -- Well, I went into this to say if HE or other son had had

OCD to deal with, I'd have had a lot more holes in walls or cracked

furniture, I know. So I can empathize with those of you who do get

the more physical outbursts of OCD. Even (my OCDer) who

has " no " temper at all, really, has displayed some anger with OCD;

he's 19.

You really are blessed with that psych! I love people like that,

some will really work with you and not charge for phone calls, etc.,

for those in need. They really CARE!

Well do let us know about today's appt regarding medication. So

your son is willing to try?? Don't blame you for dropping the

pediatrician.

>

> Thank you to all of you who have responded so quickly. That is

very

> kind. Again, I realize that many of you have fought through this

> battle much longer than we have. It is just so draining and my

heart

> goes out to my son and my wife who have to bear the most of it.

>

> We have been VERY, VERY blessed with our psychologist. Over the

> almost three months we have been seeing him, he has taken our

> " emergency " after-hours calls three times (and I've felt guilty

every

> time we have called. But, when you don't know what to do and your

[Guest guest]

Hi, (((Cameron))). I'm really glad you are here.

You articulated it well. I'm so sorry your son has taken a turn for

the worst, after making such progress. It sounds like you were seeing

a good therapist too. It is the nature of OCD, I guess, but every

time it has happened to us, it still seems to take us by surprise.

Even an occasional bad day has the potential to give you that sinking

feeling in your stomach.

There are some, who will be able to overcome OCD with therapy alone,

and I couldn't be happier for them. But, there will also be some who

will require meds too. Our son is one of those.

It was so scary the first time he went on them. I would hide (from

him) and cry, every day. I didn't want him to see how scared I was,

knowing it would freak him out. So, I'd finish my cry, then paste on

the best " everything's okay " face I could, and get through the days.

An amazing thing happened though. Within a week, our son started to

come back. There were side effects, but minor ones, compared to what

there could be.

The second time he had to go on them, was easier. We took a break

from meds and he relapsed. There was no hesitation this time. It

took a while to get him stablized, but he is doing better than he was.

Still, I find myself holding my breath some days, waiting for what I

know can happen. In the mean time, we are moving ahead, one day at a

time, fighting to not let OCD win.

You are in a hard place right now, but it can get better. It has for

us, more than once. Our son started improving within a week the first

time he took meds. I hope you have good luck with the first one you

go with. And I hope you see improvement fast. Let us know. Stay in

touch. And welcome.

BJ

>

> Well, since Dianne was brave enough to post about her daughter, I will

> post about my son. I just found this group last week, so I haven't

> wanted to just jump in. However, in a short time my wife and I have

> have amassed what feels like a book worth of experiences ... probably

> with chapters that many of you have already read.

>

> I'll try and make it brief, but last summer everything was pretty

> normal. My wife and I have seven children, the oldest being Z who

> turned 14 that summer. Unknown to us, while officiating soccer, he

> started realizing that he was a little more concerned about germs than

> he should be. That grew and grew until Thanksgiving night when he

> came to us and told us he had a problem and needed help. That next

> week he was diagnosed with OCD.

>

> It seemed to grow like wild fire. We went to see two different sets

> of therapists, both which were worthless, and we decided to take

> Christmas off and start fresh in the beginning of January. By the

> time we started with his current psychologist, it was taking up 5 - 7

> hours of Z's day every day just to get up in the morning and go to bed

> at night.

>

> The psychologist we started with in January was at a nearby university

> and is the regional expert on OCD. He has 18 years of experience and

> 80% of his practice is OCD. Why we didn't start with him, I don't

> know. That is a point for others. Start with the person who knows

> the most.

>

> Anyway, Z actually progressed very quickly and very well with CBT. He

> seemed very motivated and pushed through a lot of stuff. We hit a

> week in February where the anxiety got very high and Z would just go

> crazy at night, yelling, hitting things, etc. At the peak, on

> Valentine's night, we called his psychologist at 11:30 and he spent 45

> minutes bringing Z " down " . After that, Z did better managing those

> anger/frustration outburst ... although he put three holes in our

> walls during that week.

>

> Through February and into March Z continued to do well, although his

> progress slowed somewhat. However, the last week has been hell and we

> are so discouraged. Z has regressed in almost every way, giving back

> most of the ground he had gained against OCD and has had high anxiety

> outbursts every day ... sometimes twice a day. He seems to have

> rolled over into depression now, sleeping last night on his floor with

> only a thin blanket because he couldn't get into his bed. It doesn't

> help that his psychologist is out of town and wont be back until next

> Monday. I feel that every day he looses a little bit more.

>

> Today we are probably going to start Z on medicine. He has been

> against it, wanting to fight the battles without it. But, it just

> seems cruel, both to him and our family, to make him continue down

> this road without at least trying some medication. We realize that it

> will take time to build up, etc. and, in the end, may do nothing or,

> worse, give him side effects. But we feel like we have to try ...

>

> While I realize that most of you have had to battle this disorder

> much, much longer than we have, we are tired. This OCD has taken away

> everything that my son used to enjoy. He was a bright, nice, good kid

> and OCD has turned him into a sad, tormented, angry/depressed kid. It

> would be nice to hear about a positive future.

>

> Thanks,

> Cameron

>

[Guest guest]

>********************

You will most likely see a big improvement in your son's behavior and

frustration with medication, although keep in mind that the first med

you try often is not the right one!

*********************

Wow, Judy, is that typical?

Gee, I guess we were pretty lucky then. Josh tried Celexa the first

time (went back on it the second time) and it worked. Well, not as

well the second time, but working enough. I'm going to count my

blessings. :-)

I'm so sorry you've had to go through trials with meds. That would be

so frustrating and hard. ((((you)))))

BJ

> Hi Cameron.

> Welcome to the group! It really is great to have such an awesome

thrapist like your son has. Keep him!!! I have never been fortuante

enough to have a therapist who will talk to my kids on the phone!

>

> I thought I had a full plate with three kids, I can't imagine seven!!

>

> You have come to the right place for sharing and support. It sounds

like you are doing all you can for your son at this time.You will most

likely see a big improvement in your son's behavior and frustration

with medication, although keep in mind that the first med you try

often is not the right one! The meds should definitely help his

anxiety, and help him to be a little more cooperative.

>

> I wish you luck! Hang in there! We are all here for you!

> Hugs

> Judy

> mom to Brittany -will be 13 on the 29th

> - Brittany's twin-3-29-95---4-7-95

> -11-ocd,bipolar disorder

> iel-6-ocd

>

>

[Guest guest]

First I want to welcome all the recent new members. Don't get on

enough to keep up with them all. So, welcome to , Terri, Di, and

Cameron. (Hope I didn't miss anyone). This group is a great source of

support. Everyone here can relate to what all of you are going thru.

This group has a great group of moderators as well. Judy, BJ,

and Barb are always willing to share their own experiences and always

have encouraging words for everyone.

Cameron,

I can relate to what you are going thru with your son. Our 17 yr

old son has OCD and his main symptoms are contamination fears. His OCD

is fairly severe and he currently is not in school. He is doing a

homebound program thru the school district. We just got the diagnosis

of OCD this past fall. He had severe anxiety and panic attacks at the

beginning of the school year prompting us to take him to a psychiatrist

and eventually getting a diagnosis of OCD. He actually has had OCD for

a while; he was hiding his symptoms for some time. I can understand

your hesitation with medication. We were the same way with our son;

wanted to avoid medication if possible. However, while we were still

waiting for that first psychiatrist appt (5 incredibly long weeks), our

son was getting pretty depressed. So, when the pdoc suggested

medication that first visit, we were ready for it. I'll tell you it has

made a big difference. The medication hasn't really helped the OCD (in

fact, in some ways, his OCD is worse now than it was last fall);

however, the medication has really helped with the depression and the

general anxiety. Without the medication, he would not be able to go to

his CBT/ERP therapy at all.

Sorry to hear your son has had a setback. That is not uncommon,

especially at the beginning of therapy. Find hope in the fact that your

son was able to make progress initially. I'm certain he will gain back

the ground he lost. May take some time, but it will happen; have hope.

Take care

Connie

[Guest guest]

*****************

Each time he talked Z

through a significant anxiety attack (isn't it just a little

irritating that they can scream at you and then when they talk to the

psychologist they calm down and open up. Are you kidding me??? :-)

)******************

Oh yeah, we've been there. lol

We live in Washington state, in the area where the flooding was last

Christmas. Fortunately, we were not flooded, but our well became

contaminated with coliform bacteria (which, according the the county,

was most likely poo). Josh melted down. There was nothing I could

say to calm him down. He said he wanted to burn our house down,

because it was all contaminated now. I know he didn't really intend

to burn the house down, but, rather, it was just a drastic statement

attached to what he was feeling. He wouldn't calm down, so I called

his therapist. Same thing for us, as you described. When I asked

what his therapist said, wanting to know those " magic words " . . . He

says, " The same thing you did. " HUH???? Okaayyyy! Grrrrrrrr.

Whatever worked though.

Josh's therapist has talked to him numerous times too, without charge.

Sometimes, just checking in to see how he is doing. We are grateful.

I think one thing that makes Josh work a little better with the

therapist, then with us at home, is the accountability. He doesn't

have a problem brushing things off with us, but when he feels he has

to answer to someone (who doesn't love him unconditionally) for not

doing his ERP homework, it seems to motivate him.

BJ

>

> Thank you to all of you who have responded so quickly. That is very

> kind. Again, I realize that many of you have fought through this

> battle much longer than we have. It is just so draining and my heart

> goes out to my son and my wife who have to bear the most of it.

>

> We have been VERY, VERY blessed with our psychologist. Over the

> almost three months we have been seeing him, he has taken our

> " emergency " after-hours calls three times (and I've felt guilty every

> time we have called. But, when you don't know what to do and your kid

> is bouncing off the walls, screaming ...). Each time he talked Z

> through a significant anxiety attack (isn't it just a little

> irritating that they can scream at you and then when they talk to the

> psychologist they calm down and open up. Are you kidding me??? :-)

> ). These calls have lasted anywhere from 45 min. to an hour. In

> addition, he did a telephone appointment once during the day when we

> couldn't fit the trip into our schedule (it takes an hour to get

> there, an hour for the appointment, and an hour home. A lot of time

> twice a week). He did all of those at no cost to us. I have been

> very grateful for that because our insurance changed just before we

> went to him and I didn't realize that the one I chose wouldn't cover

> his services. So, we have been paying for everything out of pocket

> and will for the remainder of this year, which is a whole other issue.

>

> We also had an issue with regards to medication with his pediatrician.

> He is triple board certified with experience in running a pediatric

> psychiatry unit, so we felt that he would be a great choice to manage

> Z's meds if we went that route. He required an hour long appointment,

> which we were fine with, but within the scope of that appointment was

> somewhat derogatory towards CBT, especially its utilization in the

> abscence of mediation. We felt like he undermined both the

> relationship and the progress that my son had made with the

> psychologist. I thought that was very unprofessional. Needless to

> say, we are not going back to him.

>

> Z has an appointment this afternoon with my brother-in-law, a FP who

> has several patients that he monitors meds for OCD. I feel it IS the

> right step in helping Z calm some of the storms so that the CBT has a

> better chance to take hold and work.

>

> Again, thanks for all of your support. As you all know, there are many

> people who want to offer you opionions and suggestions, but few that

> have gone through this type of experience and really UNDERSTAND what

> this disorder does. I appreciate it.

>

> Cameron

>

[Guest guest]

>>>>We live in Washington state, in the area where the flooding was last

Christmas. Fortunately, we were not flooded, but our well became

contaminated with coliform bacteria >>>>

BJ,

We live in Missouri where we just had major flooding in our town.

We also were fortunate in that our home did not flood. But other homes

did flood and roads were closed due to the flooding. The ballfields and

parking lot at the high school were completely submerged. They have

been talking on the news about the possibility of contaminated drinking

water. They were referring to people with well water (which we do not

have). With our son's contamination fears, if hears about the drinking

water, I'm sure he will freak out. He already has some concerns over

the cleanliness of the high school (which is partly why he is not in

school). We'll probably never get him back to the school now.

Connie

[Guest guest]

Oh, ((((Connie)))), I'm so glad you are not personally flooded. I was

thinking of you and meant to ask, knowing you are back there.

I've been seeing the news and my heart goes out to the people over

there. Here, many people lost their homes. We live in an area where

there are dairies, and many had to go shoot their herds, because there

was no high ground for their cows to get to, and they were drowning.

I felt very fortunate that the only thing we had to deal with was a

contaminated well. We eventually couldn't take having to boil water

anymore (back then) so broke down and bought a UV light system for the

whole house intake, which kills bacteria. It was a bit spendy (when

money is tight), but worth it's weight in gold.

I've got to admit, knowing you are bathing in icky water does a head

trip on you (admitting to it too), so I can imagine how poor Josh was

feeling with his contamination issues. But, you know, it was liked

forced ERP. After a few days, he just dealt with it.

Your poor son, he might really have an issue going back to a school

that has been flooded. <sigh> I can understand that. If it was hard

before flood water was there, I can imagine the level of anxiety

attached to it now. Darned OCD, anyway. Wretched, wretched stuff.

Hugs,

BJ

>

> >>>>We live in Washington state, in the area where the flooding was last

> Christmas. Fortunately, we were not flooded, but our well became

> contaminated with coliform bacteria >>>>

>

> BJ,

>

> We live in Missouri where we just had major flooding in our

town.

> We also were fortunate in that our home did not flood. But other homes

> did flood and roads were closed due to the flooding. The ballfields and

> parking lot at the high school were completely submerged. They have

> been talking on the news about the possibility of contaminated drinking

> water. They were referring to people with well water (which we do not

> have). With our son's contamination fears, if hears about the drinking

> water, I'm sure he will freak out. He already has some concerns over

> the cleanliness of the high school (which is partly why he is not in

> school). We'll probably never get him back to the school now.

>

> Connie

>

[Guest guest]

BJ,

Thanks for thinking of me. The town I live in has lots of hills, so

most homes are up in the hills and weren't flooded. But there were some

homes down in the valleys and closer to the river that flooded. The

river is back below flood stage. The high school even had school today.

Sat afternoon we were out and our son asked to drive by the high

school. He wanted to see how bad it flooded. So we drove by and pulled

off on to the shoulder; couldn't even pull into the entrance at all

because of the water. I got out and walked up as far as I could to take

some pictures with my phone. Our son did not get out of the car. I was

like why isn't he getting out; he was the one that asked to drive by.

Then I read your post and I was like " DUH " . Of course he wasn't going

to get out of the car. The water isn't clean; he wasn't going to take

any chances. One good thing, he hasn't said anything about our drinking

water - yet.

Connie

>

> Oh, ((((Connie)))), I'm so glad you are not personally flooded. I was

> thinking of you and meant to ask, knowing you are back there.

>

> I've been seeing the news and my heart goes out to the people over

> there. Here, many people lost their homes. We live in an area where

> there are dairies, and many had to go shoot their herds, because there

> was no high ground for their cows to get to, and they were drowning.

>

> I felt very fortunate that the only thing we had to deal with was a

> contaminated well. We eventually couldn't take having to boil water

> anymore (back then) so broke down and bought a UV light system for the

> whole house intake, which kills bacteria. It was a bit spendy (when

> money is tight), but worth it's weight in gold.

>

> I've got to admit, knowing you are bathing in icky water does a head

> trip on you (admitting to it too), so I can imagine how poor Josh was

> feeling with his contamination issues. But, you know, it was liked

> forced ERP. After a few days, he just dealt with it.

>

> Your poor son, he might really have an issue going back to a school

> that has been flooded. <sigh> I can understand that. If it was hard

> before flood water was there, I can imagine the level of anxiety

> attached to it now. Darned OCD, anyway. Wretched, wretched stuff.

>

> Hugs,

> BJ

[Guest guest]

I hope and pray he doesn't think of that, Connie. My (OCD) nephew

freaked out about the drinking water a couple of years back because

this area has elevated nitrates. (We put a R.O. system on our water

then. We have the cleanest water in town now between the UV system

and the R.O. system. lol)

Anyway, he stopped drinking water and his blood pressure started

dropping. Nobody knew he had stopped drinking the water. Once he was

in the docs office, due to symptoms from what turned out to be

dehydration, it came out. He got past it somehow, fortunately, and

started drinking the water again.

Hopefully, your son will not go there, mentally with his OCD, since he

copes with contamination issues. I hope things in your town return to

normal soon.

BJ

> >

> > Oh, ((((Connie)))), I'm so glad you are not personally flooded. I was

> > thinking of you and meant to ask, knowing you are back there.

> >

> > I've been seeing the news and my heart goes out to the people over

> > there. Here, many people lost their homes. We live in an area where

> > there are dairies, and many had to go shoot their herds, because there

> > was no high ground for their cows to get to, and they were drowning.

> >

> > I felt very fortunate that the only thing we had to deal with was a

> > contaminated well. We eventually couldn't take having to boil water

> > anymore (back then) so broke down and bought a UV light system for the

> > whole house intake, which kills bacteria. It was a bit spendy (when

> > money is tight), but worth it's weight in gold.

> >

> > I've got to admit, knowing you are bathing in icky water does a head

> > trip on you (admitting to it too), so I can imagine how poor Josh was

> > feeling with his contamination issues. But, you know, it was liked

> > forced ERP. After a few days, he just dealt with it.

> >

> > Your poor son, he might really have an issue going back to a school

> > that has been flooded. <sigh> I can understand that. If it was hard

> > before flood water was there, I can imagine the level of anxiety

> > attached to it now. Darned OCD, anyway. Wretched, wretched stuff.

> >

> > Hugs,

> > BJ

>