a cautionary tale

[Guest guest]

Well, I've been proven the world's worst OCD mom. I wish I could say I can't

help it, but I probably could

if I tried harder. I've always had a big mouth. So though I told my son a year

ago I wouldn't tell anyone about his OCD,

I did. At first, just people closest to me to help me through the hell. And of

course all of you, which my son knows about.

Then lately I guess he seemed so relaxed about it,

I must have let it slip a few times. Anyway, probably all the teachers at school

know by now because we had to let his

teachers and administration know, and half the teachers are parents of the

students there.

Tonight was so lovely at first. My son was elated because he was going to

baseball practice, one of the few places where

his OCD feels miles away to him. But he came home crying, because his coach

presented the new uniform which, for the first year,

is a jersey with buttons. The story is his coach says I told him about my son's

button problem and he knew the shirt may be a problem for him.

My son said he'll never trust me again.

I have no recollection of saying anything to the coach, my son's friend's

parent. But it's entirely possible.

My son promptly packed a bag and ran away from home, in the pouring rain, on

foot.

Luckily, after combing the streets for a little while, a call arrived at home

from another friend's parent. My son had chosen their

home for safe haven.

We let him chill for a while and then my husband went to pick him up. I plan to

hide when they come home so my son doesn't have to see my sorry face. I'm a

wreck. It's a long time before these kids grow up enough to know parents aren't

born perfect and will never be perfect. In the meantime,

I guess I've severed my special bond with my son forever.

Welcome to my pity party,

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[Guest guest]

I have also told lots of people about my son's OCD, and explained to him why-If

he is going to sleep over at someones house or go to hockey tournament, or go

to school and have to " break school rules " for his OCD the grown ups need to

know. Everyone I tell, I am sure to tell them that he is super sensitive about

it and doesn't want kids and friends knowing(like somehow they dont notice when

he melts at school, crawls under a table and cries in 5th grade!), so please

dont tell their kids or other parents. I however do encourage my son to tell

his friends and point out that it is likely that they do know something is up

with all the stuff he does(remember the licking?)

A friend of his was reciently diagnosed with diabetes and has to go to the

nurses office several times a day for glucose testing and insulin shots. We

talk about why it is improtant for everyone around her to know so that people

can be on the lookout for warning signs of low blood sugar and help her when she

cant help herself. We talk about how it is the same with OCD. There are times

when he is so freaked out that he needs the people around him to know what to

do. If they dont understand, they just think he is being difficult.

We still have clashes over it and I obviously cant control gossip, but I think

the benefits outweigh the downsides of people being on a " need to know " basis.

Your son will forgive you, especially if he realizes that you have not been

telling people so that they can make him feel small, but to help him! You have

acknowleged that a mistake was made and he was hurt by it, you are sorry and you

love him and are trying to look out for his best interests. Thats the best you

can do! Good luck.