Re: new member more to share

[Guest guest]

Hi again Terri! Thanks for the reminder to all of us to remember the

good things about our kids. Sometimes the day-to-day living with OCD

has us making a list more to do with what we are putting up with than

the " good things " about our kids.

Like my son . He really is the nicest (goodest!) person I

know. Oh he'll say he's not nice, he's thought mean things about

people (probably those who used to give him a hard time at school),

but he'll still be nice and friendly to everyone. Even his two

brothers have to admit to that.

With Grace not wearing jeans, is this something being worked on in

therapy? Sometimes with clothes, some exposure is to have them put

on a piece of clothing and try to keep it on a certain amount of

time; whether that's 30 seconds or 5 minutes, just try to have a goal

of increasing the time worn.

I will say my oldest son (no OCD) wouldn't wear jeans either at her

age. I can't recall how old he was when finally he would wear

them...maybe before he got out of elementary school.... And he

didn't like tags either, always cut them out. Another son (twin to

one with OCD) hated the feel of certain materials for shirts. I

couldn't find any new shirts he would wear, hand-me-downs seemed to

be " worn down " enough that he would wear them. Certain materials

just gave him the " shivers. " Finally he began wearing undershirts

and THEN he would wear the other shirts. But that took a while. He

still today (at 19) wears undershirts and I don't know if that is not

habit or style or that he still gets the " shivers " with certain

materials. He was also one who used to have to wear his socks inside-

out because of the seams and he would take scissors and cut the

little seam knot (creating holes sometimes, sigh) to try to get rid

of it. That stopped eventually too. However, none of my other

sons' " sensory stuff " got too out of control and OCD wasn't involved

for them, that they ever said anything to indicate it anyway.

You said some things are getting more intense. I hope it settles

down soon. Sometimes when OCD seems to be increasing, getting better

here but 10 new things popping up there or getting worse...well, I

think after a few weeks it can settle back down. I don't know, maybe

we all just get used to it after a few weeks and/or manage it better,

LOL. No, guess not. I know when 's would increase at times

(like his OCD would increase with a fever), those weeks waiting for

things to calm back down to the " regular, everyday OCD " seemed to

last WAY too long.

Well I am glad you joined this group! It is a good place to come

share, ask questions, VENT on bad days or just to read notes from

others.

single mom, 3 sons

, 19, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers/mild

>

> I want to thank everyone who responded - and all who just read my

> post. I have to say that reading the responses and just reading the

> other posts I am so overwhelmed with many emotions.. sadness, joy

and

> relief. not that I want anyone to go through what Grace goes

through

[Guest guest]

So very glad you are here, Terri. :-)

Sounds like Grace is a real blessing. (Love her name) Often OCD kids

are extra bright. . .Sounds like she one of them.

One thing that often makes OCD increase around here, is illness. We

can almost count on it. A few weeks after illness is gone, things

slowly improve, mentally. It seems the little hiccups of life, that

upset the rhythm of life, can upset the balance of our sensitive kids.

BJ

>

> I want to thank everyone who responded - and all who just read my

> post. I have to say that reading the responses and just reading the

> other posts I am so overwhelmed with many emotions.. sadness, joy and

> relief. not that I want anyone to go through what Grace goes through

> and us as her parents but just reading some of those and saying " Oh

> my goodness thats us " etc. for instance one of the most frustrating

> things is when someone tells me " she seems so normal, I never would

> have known " or I never see it - I don't want to feel like I have to

> defend her disorder. there are days when I feel like " ok I can accept

> this, there is no reason why she can't live a " normal " life " and then

> there are other days when.. well I know you guys know... what scares

> me the most is she's only 6 and even though we've seen some progress,

> mainly just with not being terrified of getting dressed, she hasn't

> worn jeans in 4 years and wears slip on shoes, no tags etc (did see

> an OT for about 6 months).. - still dislikes it but at least no

> longer terrified - the other " issues " are getting more intense. it

> seems theres a new one every other week to add to the growing list.

> we do like her therapist and she seems to think that Grace will be

> able to manage it - she keeps telling us we can medicate her and then

> the therapy would be more effective. my husband is VERY MUCH against

> meds. I am too, to an extent but I could be talked into it-

> especially some days.. not to mention I'm the one who gets the brunt

> of everything.. so I guess unless it gets to a point where its

> effecting her at school (right now she pretty much holds it all in)

> and her being able to " function " he won't even consider it... he grew

> up in a " normal " family and doesn't understand.. my mom is bipolar

> and I suffer with anxiety myself - so I " get " Grace in a sense...

> some of you may be sorry you said " don't worry about going on " . I

> really only have 2 people I tell " everything " too outside of my

> husband - my sister who's a therapist and one of my friends whose son

> is bipolar cuz like I read earlier - people just don't get it unless

> they live it!!! I will end with some nice comments about Grace. she

> is VERY intelligent - is a very good reader! learned over a year ago-

> pretty much taught herself, very sensitive and sympathetic to others,

> loving, caring, sweet, very spiritual and boy is she funny - loves to

> make you laugh - that was something else I learned.. I thought if you

> had ocd or the like you were shy, quiet and inward - well like I said

> I was ignorant - it doesn't matter what your personality is... I'll

> stop for now - I am EVER SO GRATEFUL for eveyone and for this group

> and I receive your hugs and hugs to you all - cuz sometimes thats all

> you can do is hug them to make them feel better...

>

> " Courage doesn't always roar..sometimes courage is the quiet voice at

> the end of the day saying.. I will try again tomorrow "

>

> Terri

>

[Guest guest]

" Courage doesn't always roar..sometimes courage is the quiet voice at

the end of the day saying.. I will try again tomorrow "

Oh, I liked this Terri! Sometimes it's all you can do, just getting

up and facing the day, especially when you know what that day will

bring.... Thanks for sharing that. Barb

>

> I want to thank everyone who responded - and all who just read my

> post. I have to say that reading the responses and just reading the

> other posts I am so overwhelmed with many emotions.. sadness, joy

and

> relief. not that I want anyone to go through what Grace goes

through

> and us as her parents but just reading some of those and saying " Oh

> my goodness thats us " etc. for instance one of the most frustrating

> things is when someone tells me " she seems so normal, I never would

> have known " or I never see it - I don't want to feel like I have to

> defend her disorder. there are days when I feel like " ok I can

accept

> this, there is no reason why she can't live a " normal " life " and

then

> there are other days when.. well I know you guys know... what

scares

> me the most is she's only 6 and even though we've seen some

progress,

> mainly just with not being terrified of getting dressed, she hasn't

> worn jeans in 4 years and wears slip on shoes, no tags etc (did see

> an OT for about 6 months).. - still dislikes it but at least no

> longer terrified - the other " issues " are getting more intense. it

> seems theres a new one every other week to add to the growing

list.

> we do like her therapist and she seems to think that Grace will be

> able to manage it - she keeps telling us we can medicate her and

then

> the therapy would be more effective. my husband is VERY MUCH

against

> meds. I am too, to an extent but I could be talked into it-

> especially some days.. not to mention I'm the one who gets the

brunt

> of everything.. so I guess unless it gets to a point where its

> effecting her at school (right now she pretty much holds it all in)

> and her being able to " function " he won't even consider it... he

grew

> up in a " normal " family and doesn't understand.. my mom is bipolar

> and I suffer with anxiety myself - so I " get " Grace in a sense...

> some of you may be sorry you said " don't worry about going on " . I

> really only have 2 people I tell " everything " too outside of my

> husband - my sister who's a therapist and one of my friends whose

son

> is bipolar cuz like I read earlier - people just don't get it

unless

> they live it!!! I will end with some nice comments about Grace. she

> is VERY intelligent - is a very good reader! learned over a year

ago-

> pretty much taught herself, very sensitive and sympathetic to

others,

> loving, caring, sweet, very spiritual and boy is she funny - loves

to

> make you laugh - that was something else I learned.. I thought if

you

> had ocd or the like you were shy, quiet and inward - well like I

said

> I was ignorant - it doesn't matter what your personality is... I'll

> stop for now - I am EVER SO GRATEFUL for eveyone and for this group

> and I receive your hugs and hugs to you all - cuz sometimes thats

all

> you can do is hug them to make them feel better...

>

>

> Terri

>