Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Bacon girl, what age group are these books geared towards? H > > lweiland1...Let me also say this...I don't always understand this > disorder, it just happens that I know a little about " negativity " and > what worked for us. But every day - things change and I have to get > help or ask others for advice. I have also read so many books and try > my hardest to educate myself in many ways because at times I feel > like I am on a rollercoaster. :)Her therapist is amazing. If you > can...get the book " What to do when you GRUMBLE TOO MUCH " a kids > guide to overcoming negativity. by. Dawn Huebner, ph.D. She also > has " What to do when you Worry too much. Great books. > > --- > > > > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and > > > recycling > > > > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude > and > > > > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this > > > mindset > > > > somehow. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 I don't know if he thinks he's better. He just holds himself to a really high standard, and feels everyone else should meet it too. I have no doubt it is scrupulosity. My husband tends to be the same way. They have a high moral standard that their OCD dictates everyone should live by. They try to impose that on others around them to alleviate the anxiety they feel when others aren't meeting the standard. I think he lives in a state of stress because of it. He needs everything, and everybody to be perfect, which is impossible. BJ > > > > > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > > > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially > negative > > > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and > recycling > > > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > > > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this > mindset > > > somehow. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Interesting. For the first time since she was born 13 years ago, I am starting to understand why she does some of the peculiar things she does. I'm so glad I found this board!!!! So, if I wanted to address the goodie-goodie behavior, which is a compulsion, I need to figure out what she's afraid of? > > > > > > > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > > > > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially > > negative > > > > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and > > recycling > > > > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > > > > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this > > mindset > > > > somehow. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Interesting. For the first time since she was born 13 years ago, I am starting to understand why she does some of the peculiar things she does. I'm so glad I found this board!!!! So, if I wanted to address the goodie-goodie behavior, which is a compulsion, I need to figure out what she's afraid of? > > > > > > > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > > > > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially > > negative > > > > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and > > recycling > > > > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > > > > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this > > mindset > > > > somehow. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Interesting. For the first time since she was born 13 years ago, I am starting to understand why she does some of the peculiar things she does. I'm so glad I found this board!!!! So, if I wanted to address the goodie-goodie behavior, which is a compulsion, I need to figure out what she's afraid of? > > > > > > > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > > > > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially > > negative > > > > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and > > recycling > > > > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > > > > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this > > mindset > > > > somehow. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 The books are geared for children ages 9-12 but I would go younger than that and maybe to 13. > > > > lweiland1...Let me also say this...I don't always understand this > > disorder, it just happens that I know a little about " negativity " > and > > what worked for us. But every day - things change and I have to get > > help or ask others for advice. I have also read so many books and > try > > my hardest to educate myself in many ways because at times I feel > > like I am on a rollercoaster. :)Her therapist is amazing. If you > > can...get the book " What to do when you GRUMBLE TOO MUCH " a kids > > guide to overcoming negativity. by. Dawn Huebner, ph.D. She also > > has " What to do when you Worry too much. Great books. > > > > --- > > > > > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and > > > > recycling > > > > > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative > attitude > > and > > > > > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this > > > > mindset > > > > > somehow. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 The books are geared for children ages 9-12 but I would go younger than that and maybe to 13. > > > > lweiland1...Let me also say this...I don't always understand this > > disorder, it just happens that I know a little about " negativity " > and > > what worked for us. But every day - things change and I have to get > > help or ask others for advice. I have also read so many books and > try > > my hardest to educate myself in many ways because at times I feel > > like I am on a rollercoaster. :)Her therapist is amazing. If you > > can...get the book " What to do when you GRUMBLE TOO MUCH " a kids > > guide to overcoming negativity. by. Dawn Huebner, ph.D. She also > > has " What to do when you Worry too much. Great books. > > > > --- > > > > > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and > > > > recycling > > > > > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative > attitude > > and > > > > > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this > > > > mindset > > > > > somehow. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 ******************* So, if I wanted to address the goodie-goodie behavior, which is a compulsion, I need to figure out what she's afraid of? ******************* See, this is the really bizarre thing about OCD. She may not even know where the anxiety is coming from. It seems like the compulsions and the obsessions aren't necessarily linked in any way that is coherent. The psych told us that it is possible to have compulsions (ritualistic behaviors) in the absense of obsessions (intrusive thoughts) and vice versa. So, the way to adress the goodie-goodie behavior may be to do some ERP. How would you do that? I'm not sure but I could use some suggestions! Maybe point out the error of her own ways? Have her consider doing something she considers morally reprehensible? Boy -- that could really backfire! Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 ******************* So, if I wanted to address the goodie-goodie behavior, which is a compulsion, I need to figure out what she's afraid of? ******************* See, this is the really bizarre thing about OCD. She may not even know where the anxiety is coming from. It seems like the compulsions and the obsessions aren't necessarily linked in any way that is coherent. The psych told us that it is possible to have compulsions (ritualistic behaviors) in the absense of obsessions (intrusive thoughts) and vice versa. So, the way to adress the goodie-goodie behavior may be to do some ERP. How would you do that? I'm not sure but I could use some suggestions! Maybe point out the error of her own ways? Have her consider doing something she considers morally reprehensible? Boy -- that could really backfire! Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Oh, how many things I've said that I wish I could take back! And all of them having to do with other people. I've learned it's asking a lot of kids to discern between a lie and a kind " white lie " , and it would be so much easier if we never told them what we didn't want them to repeat. Unfortunately, you did share your feelings with your daughter and she shouldn't be made to feel bad for being honest. I'm not judging you, since I've done the same thing many times. If only we were perfect. At least we have the chance to learn from our mistakes. Re: OCD and Social Life Could the following situation be related to OCD in some way? My daughter last night was telling me about a conversation that was going on at her lunchtable yesterday. Two girls who play volleyball for the school, both 13, were talking about volleyball this coming fall. They both have been playing on a junior Olympic volleyball team over the winter and were talking about how they didn't want to play for the school this year(most likely because they are much better than everyone else now). Anyway, one of the girls, who can be really nasty at times, asked my daughter why she didn't play on the school team this past year. Well, she had played the previous year and loved it but one of the coaches was really mean, i.e. gave out awards at the end of the season which were quite personal(my daughter got the Milky Way award for being 'out in left field' most of the time. Another girl, who is overweight, got the Diet Mountain Dew award.) There were several things throughout the season this coach did that were inappropriate. I've never seen anything like it actually and we've been on many sports teams. She just shouldn't have been coaching children. Anyway, I wouldn't let my daughter play under her again. Well! In answering this girl's question about why she didn't play last year, my daughter said, " My mom didn't like Coach ____. Thought she was too angry all the time. " Well, the other said, " You mean, you didn't like her because she was tough? " Anyway, the whole thing turned into a bullying situation. My daughter said, " Oh, I can still play on the Olympic team. " The other girl replied, " Well, it costs like $300 and the jacket is $100, " as if it was too expensive for her. We live in a condo where most other people around us live in large houses. It was just a nasty thing to say and a way to keep her away. Anyway, we live in a very small town and I'm sure this girl will go right home and tell her mom that I didn't like Coach ______ who is one of her dearest friends, so I was horrified by all this. Why couldn't my daughter respond with, " Oh, I just had too much going on last fall, couldn't squeeze it in. " We talked about what to say if someone asked, over and over and over again because I knew it would come up. I asked her this and she said, " I don't like to lie. " I wanted to scream!!!! I had to explain - again - why being discreet is so important. I still don't think she understood. Ggggrrrrr! How do I deal with this? > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially negative > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and recycling > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this mindset > somehow. > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. http://tc.deals.yahoo.com/tc/blockbuster/text5.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Oh, how many things I've said that I wish I could take back! And all of them having to do with other people. I've learned it's asking a lot of kids to discern between a lie and a kind " white lie " , and it would be so much easier if we never told them what we didn't want them to repeat. Unfortunately, you did share your feelings with your daughter and she shouldn't be made to feel bad for being honest. I'm not judging you, since I've done the same thing many times. If only we were perfect. At least we have the chance to learn from our mistakes. Re: OCD and Social Life Could the following situation be related to OCD in some way? My daughter last night was telling me about a conversation that was going on at her lunchtable yesterday. Two girls who play volleyball for the school, both 13, were talking about volleyball this coming fall. They both have been playing on a junior Olympic volleyball team over the winter and were talking about how they didn't want to play for the school this year(most likely because they are much better than everyone else now). Anyway, one of the girls, who can be really nasty at times, asked my daughter why she didn't play on the school team this past year. Well, she had played the previous year and loved it but one of the coaches was really mean, i.e. gave out awards at the end of the season which were quite personal(my daughter got the Milky Way award for being 'out in left field' most of the time. Another girl, who is overweight, got the Diet Mountain Dew award.) There were several things throughout the season this coach did that were inappropriate. I've never seen anything like it actually and we've been on many sports teams. She just shouldn't have been coaching children. Anyway, I wouldn't let my daughter play under her again. Well! In answering this girl's question about why she didn't play last year, my daughter said, " My mom didn't like Coach ____. Thought she was too angry all the time. " Well, the other said, " You mean, you didn't like her because she was tough? " Anyway, the whole thing turned into a bullying situation. My daughter said, " Oh, I can still play on the Olympic team. " The other girl replied, " Well, it costs like $300 and the jacket is $100, " as if it was too expensive for her. We live in a condo where most other people around us live in large houses. It was just a nasty thing to say and a way to keep her away. Anyway, we live in a very small town and I'm sure this girl will go right home and tell her mom that I didn't like Coach ______ who is one of her dearest friends, so I was horrified by all this. Why couldn't my daughter respond with, " Oh, I just had too much going on last fall, couldn't squeeze it in. " We talked about what to say if someone asked, over and over and over again because I knew it would come up. I asked her this and she said, " I don't like to lie. " I wanted to scream!!!! I had to explain - again - why being discreet is so important. I still don't think she understood. Ggggrrrrr! How do I deal with this? > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially negative > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and recycling > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this mindset > somehow. > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. http://tc.deals.yahoo.com/tc/blockbuster/text5.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Okay, disregard my last message. I'm not thinking very well. The coach sounds awful, and it would be totally natural to let your daughter know you don't approve of her behavior. So, sorry... Re: OCD and Social Life Could the following situation be related to OCD in some way? My daughter last night was telling me about a conversation that was going on at her lunchtable yesterday. Two girls who play volleyball for the school, both 13, were talking about volleyball this coming fall. They both have been playing on a junior Olympic volleyball team over the winter and were talking about how they didn't want to play for the school this year(most likely because they are much better than everyone else now). Anyway, one of the girls, who can be really nasty at times, asked my daughter why she didn't play on the school team this past year. Well, she had played the previous year and loved it but one of the coaches was really mean, i.e. gave out awards at the end of the season which were quite personal(my daughter got the Milky Way award for being 'out in left field' most of the time. Another girl, who is overweight, got the Diet Mountain Dew award.) There were several things throughout the season this coach did that were inappropriate. I've never seen anything like it actually and we've been on many sports teams. She just shouldn't have been coaching children. Anyway, I wouldn't let my daughter play under her again. Well! In answering this girl's question about why she didn't play last year, my daughter said, " My mom didn't like Coach ____. Thought she was too angry all the time. " Well, the other said, " You mean, you didn't like her because she was tough? " Anyway, the whole thing turned into a bullying situation. My daughter said, " Oh, I can still play on the Olympic team. " The other girl replied, " Well, it costs like $300 and the jacket is $100, " as if it was too expensive for her. We live in a condo where most other people around us live in large houses. It was just a nasty thing to say and a way to keep her away. Anyway, we live in a very small town and I'm sure this girl will go right home and tell her mom that I didn't like Coach ______ who is one of her dearest friends, so I was horrified by all this. Why couldn't my daughter respond with, " Oh, I just had too much going on last fall, couldn't squeeze it in. " We talked about what to say if someone asked, over and over and over again because I knew it would come up. I asked her this and she said, " I don't like to lie. " I wanted to scream!!!! I had to explain - again - why being discreet is so important. I still don't think she understood. Ggggrrrrr! How do I deal with this? > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially negative > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and recycling > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this mindset > somehow. > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. http://tc.deals.yahoo.com/tc/blockbuster/text5.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Okay, disregard my last message. I'm not thinking very well. The coach sounds awful, and it would be totally natural to let your daughter know you don't approve of her behavior. So, sorry... Re: OCD and Social Life Could the following situation be related to OCD in some way? My daughter last night was telling me about a conversation that was going on at her lunchtable yesterday. Two girls who play volleyball for the school, both 13, were talking about volleyball this coming fall. They both have been playing on a junior Olympic volleyball team over the winter and were talking about how they didn't want to play for the school this year(most likely because they are much better than everyone else now). Anyway, one of the girls, who can be really nasty at times, asked my daughter why she didn't play on the school team this past year. Well, she had played the previous year and loved it but one of the coaches was really mean, i.e. gave out awards at the end of the season which were quite personal(my daughter got the Milky Way award for being 'out in left field' most of the time. Another girl, who is overweight, got the Diet Mountain Dew award.) There were several things throughout the season this coach did that were inappropriate. I've never seen anything like it actually and we've been on many sports teams. She just shouldn't have been coaching children. Anyway, I wouldn't let my daughter play under her again. Well! In answering this girl's question about why she didn't play last year, my daughter said, " My mom didn't like Coach ____. Thought she was too angry all the time. " Well, the other said, " You mean, you didn't like her because she was tough? " Anyway, the whole thing turned into a bullying situation. My daughter said, " Oh, I can still play on the Olympic team. " The other girl replied, " Well, it costs like $300 and the jacket is $100, " as if it was too expensive for her. We live in a condo where most other people around us live in large houses. It was just a nasty thing to say and a way to keep her away. Anyway, we live in a very small town and I'm sure this girl will go right home and tell her mom that I didn't like Coach ______ who is one of her dearest friends, so I was horrified by all this. Why couldn't my daughter respond with, " Oh, I just had too much going on last fall, couldn't squeeze it in. " We talked about what to say if someone asked, over and over and over again because I knew it would come up. I asked her this and she said, " I don't like to lie. " I wanted to scream!!!! I had to explain - again - why being discreet is so important. I still don't think she understood. Ggggrrrrr! How do I deal with this? > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially negative > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and recycling > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this mindset > somehow. > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. http://tc.deals.yahoo.com/tc/blockbuster/text5.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 No, I would not say it is related to ocd - unless part of her ocd is being obsessed about telling the truth. I think it's good she was able to speak the truth, though I understand sometimes it seems as if it's way too much information! momof3 wrote: Okay, disregard my last message. I'm not thinking very well. The coach sounds awful, and it would be totally natural to let your daughter know you don't approve of her behavior. So, sorry... Re: OCD and Social Life Could the following situation be related to OCD in some way? My daughter last night was telling me about a conversation that was going on at her lunchtable yesterday. Two girls who play volleyball for the school, both 13, were talking about volleyball this coming fall. They both have been playing on a junior Olympic volleyball team over the winter and were talking about how they didn't want to play for the school this year(most likely because they are much better than everyone else now). Anyway, one of the girls, who can be really nasty at times, asked my daughter why she didn't play on the school team this past year. Well, she had played the previous year and loved it but one of the coaches was really mean, i.e. gave out awards at the end of the season which were quite personal(my daughter got the Milky Way award for being 'out in left field' most of the time. Another girl, who is overweight, got the Diet Mountain Dew award.) There were several things throughout the season this coach did that were inappropriate. I've never seen anything like it actually and we've been on many sports teams. She just shouldn't have been coaching children. Anyway, I wouldn't let my daughter play under her again. Well! In answering this girl's question about why she didn't play last year, my daughter said, " My mom didn't like Coach ____. Thought she was too angry all the time. " Well, the other said, " You mean, you didn't like her because she was tough? " Anyway, the whole thing turned into a bullying situation. My daughter said, " Oh, I can still play on the Olympic team. " The other girl replied, " Well, it costs like $300 and the jacket is $100, " as if it was too expensive for her. We live in a condo where most other people around us live in large houses. It was just a nasty thing to say and a way to keep her away. Anyway, we live in a very small town and I'm sure this girl will go right home and tell her mom that I didn't like Coach ______ who is one of her dearest friends, so I was horrified by all this. Why couldn't my daughter respond with, " Oh, I just had too much going on last fall, couldn't squeeze it in. " We talked about what to say if someone asked, over and over and over again because I knew it would come up. I asked her this and she said, " I don't like to lie. " I wanted to scream!!!! I had to explain - again - why being discreet is so important. I still don't think she understood. Ggggrrrrr! How do I deal with this? > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially negative > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and recycling > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this mindset > somehow. > __________________________________________________________ You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. http://tc.deals.yahoo.com/tc/blockbuster/text5.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 No, I would not say it is related to ocd - unless part of her ocd is being obsessed about telling the truth. I think it's good she was able to speak the truth, though I understand sometimes it seems as if it's way too much information! momof3 wrote: Okay, disregard my last message. I'm not thinking very well. The coach sounds awful, and it would be totally natural to let your daughter know you don't approve of her behavior. So, sorry... Re: OCD and Social Life Could the following situation be related to OCD in some way? My daughter last night was telling me about a conversation that was going on at her lunchtable yesterday. Two girls who play volleyball for the school, both 13, were talking about volleyball this coming fall. They both have been playing on a junior Olympic volleyball team over the winter and were talking about how they didn't want to play for the school this year(most likely because they are much better than everyone else now). Anyway, one of the girls, who can be really nasty at times, asked my daughter why she didn't play on the school team this past year. Well, she had played the previous year and loved it but one of the coaches was really mean, i.e. gave out awards at the end of the season which were quite personal(my daughter got the Milky Way award for being 'out in left field' most of the time. Another girl, who is overweight, got the Diet Mountain Dew award.) There were several things throughout the season this coach did that were inappropriate. I've never seen anything like it actually and we've been on many sports teams. She just shouldn't have been coaching children. Anyway, I wouldn't let my daughter play under her again. Well! In answering this girl's question about why she didn't play last year, my daughter said, " My mom didn't like Coach ____. Thought she was too angry all the time. " Well, the other said, " You mean, you didn't like her because she was tough? " Anyway, the whole thing turned into a bullying situation. My daughter said, " Oh, I can still play on the Olympic team. " The other girl replied, " Well, it costs like $300 and the jacket is $100, " as if it was too expensive for her. We live in a condo where most other people around us live in large houses. It was just a nasty thing to say and a way to keep her away. Anyway, we live in a very small town and I'm sure this girl will go right home and tell her mom that I didn't like Coach ______ who is one of her dearest friends, so I was horrified by all this. Why couldn't my daughter respond with, " Oh, I just had too much going on last fall, couldn't squeeze it in. " We talked about what to say if someone asked, over and over and over again because I knew it would come up. I asked her this and she said, " I don't like to lie. " I wanted to scream!!!! I had to explain - again - why being discreet is so important. I still don't think she understood. Ggggrrrrr! How do I deal with this? > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially negative > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and recycling > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this mindset > somehow. > __________________________________________________________ You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. http://tc.deals.yahoo.com/tc/blockbuster/text5.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 No, I would not say it is related to ocd - unless part of her ocd is being obsessed about telling the truth. I think it's good she was able to speak the truth, though I understand sometimes it seems as if it's way too much information! momof3 wrote: Okay, disregard my last message. I'm not thinking very well. The coach sounds awful, and it would be totally natural to let your daughter know you don't approve of her behavior. So, sorry... Re: OCD and Social Life Could the following situation be related to OCD in some way? My daughter last night was telling me about a conversation that was going on at her lunchtable yesterday. Two girls who play volleyball for the school, both 13, were talking about volleyball this coming fall. They both have been playing on a junior Olympic volleyball team over the winter and were talking about how they didn't want to play for the school this year(most likely because they are much better than everyone else now). Anyway, one of the girls, who can be really nasty at times, asked my daughter why she didn't play on the school team this past year. Well, she had played the previous year and loved it but one of the coaches was really mean, i.e. gave out awards at the end of the season which were quite personal(my daughter got the Milky Way award for being 'out in left field' most of the time. Another girl, who is overweight, got the Diet Mountain Dew award.) There were several things throughout the season this coach did that were inappropriate. I've never seen anything like it actually and we've been on many sports teams. She just shouldn't have been coaching children. Anyway, I wouldn't let my daughter play under her again. Well! In answering this girl's question about why she didn't play last year, my daughter said, " My mom didn't like Coach ____. Thought she was too angry all the time. " Well, the other said, " You mean, you didn't like her because she was tough? " Anyway, the whole thing turned into a bullying situation. My daughter said, " Oh, I can still play on the Olympic team. " The other girl replied, " Well, it costs like $300 and the jacket is $100, " as if it was too expensive for her. We live in a condo where most other people around us live in large houses. It was just a nasty thing to say and a way to keep her away. Anyway, we live in a very small town and I'm sure this girl will go right home and tell her mom that I didn't like Coach ______ who is one of her dearest friends, so I was horrified by all this. Why couldn't my daughter respond with, " Oh, I just had too much going on last fall, couldn't squeeze it in. " We talked about what to say if someone asked, over and over and over again because I knew it would come up. I asked her this and she said, " I don't like to lie. " I wanted to scream!!!! I had to explain - again - why being discreet is so important. I still don't think she understood. Ggggrrrrr! How do I deal with this? > > How does OCD affect your child's social skills and social life? For > us, we see her obsessing about social situations, especially negative > ones, or kids who she doesn't like, just keeps recycling and recycling > these thoughts. Because of this, she exudes a negative attitude and > negative tone. I hate this. Would love to get her out of this mindset > somehow. > __________________________________________________________ You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. http://tc.deals.yahoo.com/tc/blockbuster/text5.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2008 Report Share Posted April 5, 2008 My daughter is 18 and we observed social interactions starting to dwindle around 13 or 14 years of age (grade 8). She claims that she has felt social anxiety since about 5 years of age but we never noticed anything and she had a lot of friends. She says she feels that people are judging her all the time. She also claims that at her old high school they would stare at her when she walked down the hall. Consequently, she hates people who are judgmental and is really particular about her friends (she really only has 2 now and they are both boys, one of them she is more close to because they share the same sense of humour). They may see each other only around once per month and the rest of their interaction is on-line. Thankfully she has started in a new structured school program (she has been off school for a year) and has been able to make new friends there so it is a good start. She feels the people there are more accepting because they are also suffering from mental illnesses. At least we have been able to get her to acknowledge that when she thinks people are staring at her it might just be her thought patterns and nothing more. Cheers! ICL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2008 Report Share Posted April 5, 2008 Hi ICL, My dd (11) has always been this way. She always thinks everyone is looking at her, and treating her in a negative way. If you say something she disagrees with , she thinks you don't like her. She sees in black and white only, no grey. I know she has always had the anxiety forever, and her friends seem to come and go. It sounds as though your dd has come a long way, and that's great!!!!! Hugs to you! Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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