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Re: LYING

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Hi , tough call! I really wouldn't put anything past OCD. I

mean if OCD has anything to do with *why* he does these things, OCD

could certainly give him a reason to have to lie about it and/or he

does it due to OCD but is lying to stay out of trouble.

However, I have known some great liars. Among them one of my sons.

And it's not always lying, sometimes he intentionally will tell me

something happened to watch/hear my reaction and it's sort of

joke/teasing me thing (like calling and saying he's been arrested; or

coming in with some downcast expression and telling me something,

then after I " react " , smiling, etc. He's basically honest with me

90+% of the time but he has actually lied to me growing up and I

could see him doing as your son has, being able to convincingly lie.

And it can be over something like the heater, only, LOL, my son would

turn it down and I'd be turning it up. --- So I think it could be a

non-OCD/teen related thing too.

My other 2 sons -- can't lie or at best just leaves out all

the truth. can't lie well as he smiles (tries not to) when he

lies, or rather when he's trying to lie.

Sigh, did I ever like to my mom and dad? Yep!

>

> Hi everyone.

>

> I was wondering if you have an issue with your children lying - is

> this/could this be an ocd behavior, or is it more likely a teenage

> behavioral issue? For example, my ds likes the heater set on 80.

We

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They say misery loves company. That's why I was so happy to hear

someone else has a child that lies to them often. My twleve year old

son lies about EVERYTHING and has done so for as long as I can

remember. He will lie that his homework is done, or that he brushed

his teeth or turned off a light, or packed a sandwhich or fed the

dog or anything at all! Big stuff, small stuff. He will let the dog

starve all day rather than acknowledge that he didn't feed the dog.

He will take big consequences for lying (grounding for a week) rather

than small consequences for failing to do his homework (stay in for

an hour and get it done). I am at a total loss how to help him

become the righteous man I know he is inside. It grieves me

greatly. I don't know how this could be an ocd thing, but welcome

any insights!

> >

> > Hi everyone.

> >

> > I was wondering if you have an issue with your children lying - is

> > this/could this be an ocd behavior, or is it more likely a

teenage

> > behavioral issue? For example, my ds likes the heater set on

80.

> We

>

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I have to say that lying and stealing was the MAJOR SIDE EFFECT WE HAVE DELT

WITH after starting SSRI's. it was worst on Prozac, but still pretty bad on

high doses of Zoloft, and seems dose dependent. My son age 11 never lied or

stole, and in fact never wanted to do anything wrong. it all started one week

after starting Prozac which we stopped within several weeks due to suicidal

ideation, but started on zoloft. The zoloft did a better job controling the OCD

without SI, but we were left with a sociopath! He was stealing daily from

classmates, lying about it (not very well i might add) and daily having to

suffer the humliation of returning their stuff to them and explaining that he

stole it. He lost all his friends at school after a while and of course blamed

me( " if you just did not make me return it....or tell the truth about my

lies... " ). The symptoms were totally dose dependent. (I also might add that it

happened wtih inositol too). That was the main thing we were dealing with all

last year- side effects! Now we have gone down on the dose, still having

reasonable control of the ocd and the lying and stealing are nearly gone! If

your kids are on meds, you might think about it being a side effect. Of course

my psychiatrist thought I was nuts... " lying and stealing are NOT side effects of

SSRI's " - yeah- right! We know that kids can get more impulsive on SSRI's . If

a youg boy gets less impulse control and disinhibited guess what happens.

Dont get me wrong, we also did a great deal of work surrounding it in therapy

and set up a rewards system for not lying or stealing each day. It is a really

hard one to deal with ! Hang in there

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  • 3 years later...

I have two aspies and they BOTH do this.  My older one is 19 now and isn't so prone to lie (intentinally) but he will still lie about the strangest simplest things...

EX.  " I put the towels in the dryer " ... (but they are still in the washer)I have found that sometimes they truely believe that they have actually done whatever it is they are telling me or others. 

 

My younger son is 12 and he still lies ALOT... I have found it works for him if I remind him that he doesn't lie very well so it is best to just fess up.  Usually if he is lying he will get angry for a little bit (indignet) but he will come around and tell the truth pretty quickly. 

 

It is my opinion that our Aspies have such great imaginations that they sometimes " live " in them instead of the real world and sometimes they cant decifier the truth or what really happend with out some intervention on the part of an Adult. 

 

It really takes just knowing your child.... I also have a non-Aspie who lied at the age 9 (ALOT)... We took a different rout with him and I told him he would have to regain my trust.  I made him prove almost everything he said or did. (that lasted a month or two) After that it only took me saying something like, trust is earned...

 

My 12 year old remembers that lesson of his older brother so sometimes that phrase will help to get him to tell the truth too...

 

Good Luck!

Era Kay  

" There are three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest. " - Confucius

 

change of subject. :) lately my son has been lying a lot. even small silly things.  hes told people at school that he has a twin, that he's related to the jonas brothers etc.  he also lies at home about things that are super obvious he's lying.  we tell him you're not in trouble for " x " but if you lie about it, you will be- and he continues to choose to lie.  our time outs and taking away privileges haven't deterred the behavior and we're at a loss.  has this happened to anyone else?  how did you handle it?  he's 9 by the way.

thanks in advance! heather

--

 

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I have two aspies and they BOTH do this.  My older one is 19 now and isn't so prone to lie (intentinally) but he will still lie about the strangest simplest things...

EX.  " I put the towels in the dryer " ... (but they are still in the washer)I have found that sometimes they truely believe that they have actually done whatever it is they are telling me or others. 

 

My younger son is 12 and he still lies ALOT... I have found it works for him if I remind him that he doesn't lie very well so it is best to just fess up.  Usually if he is lying he will get angry for a little bit (indignet) but he will come around and tell the truth pretty quickly. 

 

It is my opinion that our Aspies have such great imaginations that they sometimes " live " in them instead of the real world and sometimes they cant decifier the truth or what really happend with out some intervention on the part of an Adult. 

 

It really takes just knowing your child.... I also have a non-Aspie who lied at the age 9 (ALOT)... We took a different rout with him and I told him he would have to regain my trust.  I made him prove almost everything he said or did. (that lasted a month or two) After that it only took me saying something like, trust is earned...

 

My 12 year old remembers that lesson of his older brother so sometimes that phrase will help to get him to tell the truth too...

 

Good Luck!

Era Kay  

" There are three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest. " - Confucius

 

change of subject. :) lately my son has been lying a lot. even small silly things.  hes told people at school that he has a twin, that he's related to the jonas brothers etc.  he also lies at home about things that are super obvious he's lying.  we tell him you're not in trouble for " x " but if you lie about it, you will be- and he continues to choose to lie.  our time outs and taking away privileges haven't deterred the behavior and we're at a loss.  has this happened to anyone else?  how did you handle it?  he's 9 by the way.

thanks in advance! heather

--

 

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