Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

[Guest guest]

What if it did happen but not on the date he remembers? Just a thought that came to mind. To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 8:34 PM Subject: Son's Perceptions

Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

Hello all,My 9 year old son has Asperger's and we moved to a new school district for him to start his 4th grade year in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. We thought moving to a community with kids all around would be better for our son, Sammy.Anyway, he now takes the bus both to school and home. On a Monday morning he told me that he has been bullied (hit and thrown over a seat) on the bus on the way home, the ride to school seems fine (he rides a different bus to school than he does home so the kids are

different). He named two kids on the bus that are bullying him. These two kids live in our neighborhood and Sammy has played with them on two occasions, but they are much more into throwing the football when my Sammy would rather read a book, play chess or do a science experiment. He tries so hard to fit in but these boys (and their moms) don't seem to care if Sammy is excluded. Finally in November, Sammy stopped trying to play with them. Anyway, these are the two kids he named as the bullies. I called the school principal and the principal talked to Sammy and Sammy told him a date of one the latest "attacks". The principal pulled the bus tape and watched it with the bus driver and discovered that nothing happened. UGH!Now what do I do? I don't want to

devalue Sammy's feelings (he already has such a low self-esteem) and I know that Sammy honestly believes these attacks are happening to him. His perceptions of reality are so false. What should I do? How do I bring it up to him without him saying to me, "You never believe me" and "You always side with the teachers" etc...My husband and I have no idea how to raise our very smart but obviously very sensitive child who seems to live in his own world. It is very lonely here in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. I so appreciate this group as there aren't any support systems in place where we now live.Can anyone offer an opinion?~Carly (mother to Sammy, age 9, ASD, Depression, ADHD) (White Bear Lake, MN) To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 6:59 PM Subject: Re: Re: oo

I know this makes me mad. My kids are PDD-NOS and I dont know what we would do without all the therapy and stuff. My daughter is 4.5 and would still run out into traffic if I wasnt holding on to her. She doesn't understand like othe kids. I am scared we are going to lose are services for her. And my son just turned 2 and cant talk. We are going to a specialist nest month. But what are we parents going to do when they take away what little help we have From: Alan

Shapiro <alanshapiro@... To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 10:07 AM Subject: Re: Re: oo

this is outrageous! Society will end up paying later when all of these kids are older, and didnt receive the services they needed. My son's not yet formally diagnosed, but I am going to get that diagnosis asap. does anyone k now when this takes affect? From:

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2012 11:03 PM Subject: Re: oo

I saw this too. According to the folks at Yale, the new criteria would exclude 75% with Asperger syndrome and 85% with PDD-NOS. It even excludes 25% of those dxed with "classic autism". These findings were based on a study of about 375ish people dxed back in 1993. I read that there's an additional study being conducted right now and it's based on a larger group of 1000. Hopefully, more changes to the proposed criteria will be made in order to include those already diagnosed. I wholeheartedly agree with Molloy from Autism NZ: changing the definition of autism will not make the condition go away.

> >

> >> **

> >>

> >> ooo

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > White

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

> --

> White

>

[Guest guest]

I can't offer much advise, other than asking the school to look through more tapes on other days. What does the bus driver say? Other kids on the bus? I'd ask the school or bus driver who a 'good kid' is that rides the same bus. Try to arrange a playdate with that child. Talk to the parent and explain the situation. Ask if that child could just keep an eye out for any problems and you know if he/she sees anything.

I know that my daughter's perceptions are not very accurate. She will say someone pushed her when in reality, they bumped into her. She has sensory issues so I guess a bump might feel like a push. She has said that she 'barely tapped' her brother and yet she left a mark. She thinks that if something goes missing, that someone stole it...and so on. Her reality doesn't jive with everyone else's reality. I don't think it is malicious or that she is intentionally lying. I think that she doesn't understand that not everything is black and white. She doesn't get 'gray'!

  Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you;

Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

-- Re: oo

I saw this too. According to the folks at Yale, the new criteria would exclude 75% with Asperger syndrome and 85% with PDD-NOS. It even excludes 25% of those dxed with "classic autism". These findings were based on a study of about 375ish people dxed back in 1993. I read that there's an additional study being conducted right now and it's based on a larger group of 1000. Hopefully, more changes to the proposed criteria will be made in order to include those already diagnosed. I wholeheartedly agree with Molloy from Autism NZ: changing the definition of autism will not make the condition go away. > >> >> **> >>> >> ooo> >>> >> >> >> > --> > White> >> > > >> > > > -- > White>

[Guest guest]

Could you ask the school to allow you and your son to watch the video together?  As you watch, ask your son to show you the incident so you can understand exactly what happened in order to help him.  When he can't find it on the video, perhaps that would help him " see reality " or have an opportunity to tell you that it could have been on a different date.

I can't offer much advise, other than asking the school to look through more tapes on other days. What does the bus driver say? Other kids on the bus?  I'd ask the school or bus driver who a 'good kid' is that rides the same bus. Try to arrange a playdate with that child. Talk to the parent and explain the situation.  Ask if that child could just keep an eye out for any problems and you know if he/she sees anything.

 

I know that my daughter's perceptions are not very accurate. She will say someone pushed her when in reality, they bumped into her. She has sensory issues so I guess a bump might feel like a push. She has said that she 'barely tapped' her brother and yet she left a mark. She thinks that if something goes missing, that someone stole it...and so on. Her reality doesn't jive with everyone else's reality. I don't think it is malicious or that she is intentionally lying. I think that she doesn't understand that not everything is black and white. She doesn't get 'gray'!

 

 

  Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you;

Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

-- Re: oo

 

I saw this too. According to the folks at Yale, the new criteria would exclude 75% with Asperger syndrome and 85% with PDD-NOS. It even excludes 25% of those dxed with " classic autism " . These findings were based on a study of about 375ish people dxed back in 1993. I read that there's an additional study being conducted right now and it's based on a larger group of 1000. Hopefully, more changes to the proposed criteria will be made in order to include those already diagnosed. I wholeheartedly agree with Molloy from Autism NZ: changing the definition of autism will not make the condition go away.

> >> >> **> >>> >> ooo> >>> >> >> >> > --

> > White> >> > > >> > > > -- > White>

 

[Guest guest]

I'm interested to hear if anyone else has advice for this too- My son- Also Sam who is Also in 4th grade (10yrs old) struggles with this MAJORLY.  he is defensive, thinks everyone is out to get him, and nothing is EVER his fault (even when it SO is!) he could believe the sky is red and honestly believe it to be true no matter what we say. It's one of the hardest parts of this journey- trying to make sure we are loving and encouraging, but trying to have him see what is real. 

soo soo hard. 

 

Hello all,

My 9 year old son has Asperger's and we moved to a new school district for him to start his 4th grade year in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. We thought moving to a community with kids all around would be better for our son, Sammy.

Anyway, he now takes the bus both to school and home. On a Monday morning he told me that he has been bullied (hit and thrown over a seat) on the  bus on the way home, the ride to school seems fine (he rides a different bus to school than he does home so the kids are

different). He named two kids on the bus that are bullying him. These two kids live in our neighborhood and Sammy has played with them on two occasions, but they are much more into throwing the football when my Sammy would rather read a book, play chess or do a science experiment.  He tries so hard to fit in but these boys (and their moms) don't seem to care if Sammy is excluded. Finally in November, Sammy stopped trying to play with them. 

Anyway, these are the two kids he named as the bullies. I called the school principal and the principal talked to Sammy and Sammy told him a date of one the latest " attacks " . The principal pulled the bus tape and watched it with the bus driver and discovered that nothing happened. 

UGH!Now what do I do? I don't want to

devalue Sammy's feelings (he already has such a low self-esteem) and I know that Sammy honestly believes these attacks are happening to him. His perceptions of reality are so false. What should I do? How do I bring it up to him without him saying to me, " You never believe me " and " You always side with the teachers " etc...

My husband and I have no idea how to raise our very smart but obviously very sensitive child who seems to live in his own world. It is very lonely here in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. I so appreciate this group as there aren't any support systems in place where we now live.

Can anyone offer an opinion?~Carly (mother to Sammy, age 9, ASD, Depression, ADHD) (White Bear Lake, MN)

To: " autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers >

Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 6:59 PM Subject: Re: Re: oo

 

 I know this makes me mad. My kids are PDD-NOS and I dont know what we would do without all the therapy and stuff. My daughter is 4.5 and would still run out into traffic if I wasnt holding on to her. She doesn't understand like othe kids. I am scared we are going to lose are services for her. And my son just turned 2 and cant talk. We are going to a specialist nest month. But what are we parents going to do when they take away what little help we have

 

From: Alan

Shapiro <alanshapiro@... To: " autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers >

Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 10:07 AM Subject: Re: Re: oo

 

this is outrageous!  Society will end up paying later when all of these kids are older, and didnt receive the services they needed.  My son's not yet formally diagnosed, but I am going to get that diagnosis asap.  does anyone k now when this takes affect?

 

From:

To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2012 11:03 PM Subject: Re: oo

 

I saw this too. According to the folks at Yale, the new criteria would exclude 75% with Asperger syndrome and 85% with PDD-NOS. It even excludes 25% of those dxed with " classic autism " . These findings were based on a study of about 375ish people dxed back in 1993. I read that there's an additional study being conducted right now and it's based on a larger group of 1000. Hopefully, more changes to the proposed criteria will be made in order to include those already diagnosed. I wholeheartedly agree with Molloy from Autism NZ: changing the definition of autism will not make the condition go away.

> >

> >> **

> >>

> >> ooo

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > White

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

> --

> White

>

[Guest guest]

We have this issue as well. My daughter bumped her backpack into my son (, age 9, 3rd grade) this morning and he thought she hit him on purpose. To: autism-aspergers Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 12:06 PM Subject:

Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

I'm interested to hear if anyone else has advice for this too- My son- Also Sam who is Also in 4th grade (10yrs old) struggles with this MAJORLY. he is defensive, thinks everyone is out to get him, and nothing is EVER his fault (even when it SO is!) he could believe the sky is red and honestly believe it to be true no matter what we say. It's one of the hardest parts of this journey- trying to make sure we are loving and encouraging, but trying to have him see what is real.

soo soo hard.

Hello all,

My 9 year old son has Asperger's and we moved to a new school district for him to start his 4th grade year in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. We thought moving to a community with kids all around would be better for our son, Sammy.

Anyway, he now takes the bus both to school and home. On a Monday morning he told me that he has been bullied (hit and thrown over a seat) on the bus on the way home, the ride to school seems fine (he rides a different bus to school than he does home so the kids are

different). He named two kids on the bus that are bullying him. These two kids live in our neighborhood and Sammy has played with them on two occasions, but they are much more into throwing the football when my Sammy would rather read a book, play chess or do a science experiment. He tries so hard to fit in but these boys (and their moms) don't seem to care if Sammy is excluded. Finally in November, Sammy stopped trying to play with them.

Anyway, these are the two kids he named as the bullies. I called the school principal and the principal talked to Sammy and Sammy told him a date of one the latest "attacks". The principal pulled the bus tape and watched it with the bus driver and discovered that nothing happened.

UGH!Now what do I do? I don't want to

devalue Sammy's feelings (he already has such a low self-esteem) and I know that Sammy honestly believes these attacks are happening to him. His perceptions of reality are so false. What should I do? How do I bring it up to him without him saying to me, "You never believe me" and "You always side with the teachers" etc...

My husband and I have no idea how to raise our very smart but obviously very sensitive child who seems to live in his own world. It is very lonely here in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. I so appreciate this group as there aren't any support systems in place where we now live.

Can anyone offer an opinion?~Carly (mother to Sammy, age 9, ASD, Depression, ADHD) (White Bear Lake, MN)

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers >

Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 6:59 PM Subject: Re: Re: oo

I know this makes me mad. My kids are PDD-NOS and I dont know what we would do without all the therapy and stuff. My daughter is 4.5 and would still run out into traffic if I wasnt holding on to her. She doesn't understand like othe kids. I am scared we are going to lose are services for her. And my son just turned 2 and cant talk. We are going to a specialist nest month. But what are we parents going to do when they take away what little help we have

From: Alan

Shapiro <alanshapiro@... To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers >

Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 10:07 AM Subject: Re: Re: oo

this is outrageous! Society will end up paying later when all of these kids are older, and didnt receive the services they needed. My son's not yet formally diagnosed, but I am going to get that diagnosis asap. does anyone k now when this takes affect?

From:

To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2012 11:03 PM Subject: Re: oo

I saw this too. According to the folks at Yale, the new criteria would exclude 75% with Asperger syndrome and 85% with PDD-NOS. It even excludes 25% of those dxed with "classic autism". These findings were based on a study of about 375ish people dxed back in 1993. I read that there's an additional study being conducted right now and it's based on a larger group of 1000. Hopefully, more changes to the proposed criteria will be made in order to include those already diagnosed. I wholeheartedly agree with Molloy from Autism NZ: changing the definition of autism will not make the condition go away.

> >

> >> **

> >>

> >> ooo

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > White

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

> --

> White

>

[Guest guest]

I wish I had my two cents to add but we are in the same boat, especially with

the sensory type issues - I was told by my son's Kindy teacher that R bumped

into a peer on his own/by accident and that he was completely convinced that

this girl bumped into him. The teacher observed the whole thing: the girl was

stationary and R was the one moving through the room. Perceptions are " off " here

too...

> > > >

> > > >> **

> > > >>

> > > >> ooo

> > > >>

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > --

> > > > White

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > --

> > > White

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I agree! I tried to talk to him tonight and he was certain that the Principal pulled the wrong tape and that all of the kids hate him. , any chance you live in Minnesota? To: autism-aspergers Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 11:06 AM Subject: Re: Son's Perceptions

Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

I'm interested to hear if anyone else has advice for this too- My son- Also Sam who is Also in 4th grade (10yrs old) struggles with this MAJORLY. he is defensive, thinks everyone is out to get him, and nothing is EVER his fault (even when it SO is!) he could believe the sky is red and honestly believe it to be true no matter what we say. It's one of the hardest parts of this journey- trying to make sure we are loving and encouraging, but trying to have him see what is real.

soo soo hard.

Hello all,

My 9 year old son has Asperger's and we moved to a new school district for him to start his 4th grade year in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. We thought moving to a community with kids all around would be better for our son, Sammy.

Anyway, he now takes the bus both to school and home. On a Monday morning he told me that he has been bullied (hit and thrown over a seat) on the bus on the way home, the ride to school seems fine (he rides a different bus to school than he does home so the kids are

different). He named two kids on the bus that are bullying him. These two kids live in our neighborhood and Sammy has played with them on two occasions, but they are much more into throwing the football when my Sammy would rather read a book, play chess or do a science experiment. He tries so hard to fit in but these boys (and their moms) don't seem to care if Sammy is excluded. Finally in November, Sammy stopped trying to play with them.

Anyway, these are the two kids he named as the bullies. I called the school principal and the principal talked to Sammy and Sammy told him a date of one the latest "attacks". The principal pulled the bus tape and watched it with the bus driver and discovered that nothing happened.

UGH!Now what do I do? I don't want to

devalue Sammy's feelings (he already has such a low self-esteem) and I know that Sammy honestly believes these attacks are happening to him. His perceptions of reality are so false. What should I do? How do I bring it up to him without him saying to me, "You never believe me" and "You always side with the teachers" etc...

My husband and I have no idea how to raise our very smart but obviously very sensitive child who seems to live in his own world. It is very lonely here in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. I so appreciate this group as there aren't any support systems in place where we now live.

Can anyone offer an opinion?~Carly (mother to Sammy, age 9, ASD, Depression, ADHD) (White Bear Lake, MN)

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers >

Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 6:59 PM Subject: Re: Re: oo

I know this makes me mad. My kids are PDD-NOS and I dont know what we would do without all the therapy and stuff. My daughter is 4.5 and would still run out into traffic if I wasnt holding on to her. She doesn't understand like othe kids. I am scared we are going to lose are services for her. And my son just turned 2 and cant talk. We are going to a specialist nest month. But what are we parents going to do when they take away what little help we have

From: Alan

Shapiro <alanshapiro@... To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers >

Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 10:07 AM Subject: Re: Re: oo

this is outrageous! Society will end up paying later when all of these kids are older, and didnt receive the services they needed. My son's not yet formally diagnosed, but I am going to get that diagnosis asap. does anyone k now when this takes affect?

From:

To: autism-aspergers

Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2012 11:03 PM Subject: Re: oo

I saw this too. According to the folks at Yale, the new criteria would exclude 75% with Asperger syndrome and 85% with PDD-NOS. It even excludes 25% of those dxed with "classic autism". These findings were based on a study of about 375ish people dxed back in 1993. I read that there's an additional study being conducted right now and it's based on a larger group of 1000. Hopefully, more changes to the proposed criteria will be made in order to include those already diagnosed. I wholeheartedly agree with Molloy from Autism NZ: changing the definition of autism will not make the condition go away.

> >

> >> **

> >>

> >> ooo

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > White

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

> --

> White

>

[Guest guest]

Is someone able to pick him up from school? The bus is such a hard place for "special" kids

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 9:37 PMSubject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

I agree! I tried to talk to him tonight and he was certain that the Principal pulled the wrong tape and that all of the kids hate him. , any chance you live in Minnesota?

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 11:06 AMSubject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

I'm interested to hear if anyone else has advice for this too- My son- Also Sam who is Also in 4th grade (10yrs old) struggles with this MAJORLY. he is defensive, thinks everyone is out to get him, and nothing is EVER his fault (even when it SO is!) he could believe the sky is red and honestly believe it to be true no matter what we say. It's one of the hardest parts of this journey- trying to make sure we are loving and encouraging, but trying to have him see what is real. soo soo hard.

Hello all,

My 9 year old son has Asperger's and we moved to a new school district for him to start his 4th grade year in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. We thought moving to a community with kids all around would be better for our son, Sammy.

Anyway, he now takes the bus both to school and home. On a Monday morning he told me that he has been bullied (hit and thrown over a seat) on the bus on the way home, the ride to school seems fine (he rides a different bus to school than he does home so the kids are different).

He named two kids on the bus that are bullying him. These two kids live in our neighborhood and Sammy has played with them on two occasions, but they are much more into throwing the football when my Sammy would rather read a book, play chess or do a science experiment. He tries so hard to fit in but these boys (and their moms) don't seem to care if Sammy is excluded. Finally in November, Sammy stopped trying to play with them.

Anyway, these are the two kids he named as the bullies. I called the school principal and the principal talked to Sammy and Sammy told him a date of one the latest "attacks". The principal pulled the bus tape and watched it with the bus driver and discovered that nothing happened.

UGH!

Now what do I do? I don't want to devalue Sammy's feelings (he already has such a low self-esteem) and I know that Sammy honestly believes these attacks are happening to him. His perceptions of reality are so false. What should I do? How do I bring it up to him without him saying to me, "You never believe me" and "You always side with the teachers" etc...

My husband and I have no idea how to raise our very smart but obviously very sensitive child who seems to live in his own world. It is very lonely here in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. I so appreciate this group as there aren't any support systems in place where we now live.

Can anyone offer an opinion?

~Carly (mother to Sammy, age 9, ASD, Depression, ADHD) (White Bear Lake, MN)

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent:

Sunday, January 22, 2012 6:59 PMSubject: Re: Re: oo

I know this makes me mad. My kids are PDD-NOS and I dont know what we would do without all the therapy and stuff. My daughter is 4.5 and would still run out into traffic if I wasnt holding on to her. She doesn't understand like othe kids. I am scared we are going to lose are services for her. And my son just turned 2 and cant talk. We are going to a specialist nest month. But what are we parents going to do when they take away what little help we have

From: Alan Shapiro <alanshapiro@...To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 10:07 AMSubject: Re: Re: oo

this is outrageous! Society will end up paying later when all of these kids are older, and didnt receive the services they needed. My son's not yet formally diagnosed, but I am going to get that diagnosis asap. does anyone k now when this takes affect?

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2012 11:03 PMSubject: Re: oo

I saw this too. According to the folks at Yale, the new criteria would exclude 75% with Asperger syndrome and 85% with PDD-NOS. It even excludes 25% of those dxed with "classic autism". These findings were based on a study of about 375ish people dxed back in 1993. I read that there's an additional study being conducted right now and it's based on a larger group of 1000. Hopefully, more changes to the proposed criteria will be made in order to include those already diagnosed. I wholeheartedly agree with Molloy from Autism NZ: changing the definition of autism will not make the condition go away. > >> >> **> >>>

>> ooo> >>> >> >> >> > --> > White> >> > > >> > > > -- > White>

[Guest guest]

How about special needs transporation?

From:

R. Tucker ;

To:

autism-aspergers <autism-aspergers >;

Subject:

Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

Sent:

Tue, Jan 24, 2012 2:44:23 AM

Is someone able to pick him up from school? The bus is such a hard place for " special " kids

To: " autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 9:37 PMSubject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

I agree! I tried to talk to him tonight and he was certain that the Principal pulled the wrong tape and that all of the kids hate him. , any chance you live in Minnesota?

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 11:06 AMSubject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

I'm interested to hear if anyone else has advice for this too- My son- Also Sam who is Also in 4th grade (10yrs old) struggles with this MAJORLY. he is defensive, thinks everyone is out to get him, and nothing is EVER his fault (even when it SO is!) he could believe the sky is red and honestly believe it to be true no matter what we say. It's one of the hardest parts of this journey- trying to make sure we are loving and encouraging, but trying to have him see what is real. soo soo hard.

Hello all,

My 9 year old son has Asperger's and we moved to a new school district for him to start his 4th grade year in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. We thought moving to a community with kids all around would be better for our son, Sammy.

Anyway, he now takes the bus both to school and home. On a Monday morning he told me that he has been bullied (hit and thrown over a seat) on the bus on the way home, the ride to school seems fine (he rides a different bus to school than he does home so the kids are different).

He named two kids on the bus that are bullying him. These two kids live in our neighborhood and Sammy has played with them on two occasions, but they are much more into throwing the football when my Sammy would rather read a book, play chess or do a science experiment. He tries so hard to fit in but these boys (and their moms) don't seem to care if Sammy is excluded. Finally in November, Sammy stopped trying to play with them.

Anyway, these are the two kids he named as the bullies. I called the school principal and the principal talked to Sammy and Sammy told him a date of one the latest " attacks " . The principal pulled the bus tape and watched it with the bus driver and discovered that nothing happened.

UGH!

Now what do I do? I don't want to devalue Sammy's feelings (he already has such a low self-esteem) and I know that Sammy honestly believes these attacks are happening to him. His perceptions of reality are so false. What should I do? How do I bring it up to him without him saying to me, " You never believe me " and " You always side with the teachers " etc...

My husband and I have no idea how to raise our very smart but obviously very sensitive child who seems to live in his own world. It is very lonely here in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. I so appreciate this group as there aren't any support systems in place where we now live.

Can anyone offer an opinion?

~Carly (mother to Sammy, age 9, ASD, Depression, ADHD) (White Bear Lake, MN)

To: " autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent:

Sunday, January 22, 2012 6:59 PMSubject: Re: Re: oo

I know this makes me mad. My kids are PDD-NOS and I dont know what we would do without all the therapy and stuff. My daughter is 4.5 and would still run out into traffic if I wasnt holding on to her. She doesn't understand like othe kids. I am scared we are going to lose are services for her. And my son just turned 2 and cant talk. We are going to a specialist nest month. But what are we parents going to do when they take away what little help we have

From: Alan Shapiro <alanshapiro@...To: " autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 10:07 AMSubject: Re: Re: oo

this is outrageous! Society will end up paying later when all of these kids are older, and didnt receive the services they needed. My son's not yet formally diagnosed, but I am going to get that diagnosis asap. does anyone k now when this takes affect?

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2012 11:03 PMSubject: Re: oo

I saw this too. According to the folks at Yale, the new criteria would exclude 75% with Asperger syndrome and 85% with PDD-NOS. It even excludes 25% of those dxed with " classic autism " . These findings were based on a study of about 375ish people dxed back in 1993. I read that there's an additional study being conducted right now and it's based on a larger group of 1000. Hopefully, more changes to the proposed criteria will be made in order to include those already diagnosed. I wholeheartedly agree with Molloy from Autism NZ: changing the definition of autism will not make the condition go away. > >> >> **> >>>

>> ooo> >>> >> >> >> > --> > White> >> > > >> > > > -- > White>

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for that idea, I have looked into it, but they only give special education transportation to those kids with a physical or mental handicap that impairs their ability to board and exit the bus. Stupid! To: "autism-aspergers "

<autism-aspergers >; "srt12780@..." Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 8:47 PM Subject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

How about special needs transporation?

From:

R. Tucker ;

To:

autism-aspergers <autism-aspergers >;

Subject:

Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

Sent:

Tue, Jan 24, 2012 2:44:23 AM

Is someone able to pick him up from school? The bus is such a hard place for "special" kids

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 9:37 PMSubject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

I agree! I tried to talk to him tonight and he was certain that the Principal pulled the wrong tape and that all of the kids hate him. , any chance you live in Minnesota?

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 11:06 AMSubject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

I'm interested to hear if anyone else has advice for this too- My son- Also Sam who is Also in 4th grade (10yrs old) struggles with this MAJORLY. he is defensive, thinks everyone is out to get him, and nothing is EVER his fault (even when it SO is!) he could believe the sky is red and honestly believe it to be true no matter what we say. It's one of the hardest parts of this journey- trying to make sure we are loving and encouraging, but trying to have him see what is real. soo soo hard.

Hello all,

My 9 year old son has Asperger's and we moved to a new school district for him to start his 4th grade year in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. We thought moving to a community with kids all around would be better for our son, Sammy.

Anyway, he now takes the bus both to school and home. On a Monday morning he told me that he has been bullied (hit and thrown over a seat) on the bus on the way home, the ride to school seems fine (he rides a different bus to school than he does home so the kids are different).

He named two kids on the bus that are bullying him. These two kids live in our neighborhood and Sammy has played with them on two occasions, but they are much more into throwing the football when my Sammy would rather read a book, play chess or do a science experiment. He tries so hard to fit in but these boys (and their moms) don't seem to care if Sammy is excluded. Finally in November, Sammy stopped trying to play with them.

Anyway, these are the two kids he named as the bullies. I called the school principal and the principal talked to Sammy and Sammy told him a date of one the latest "attacks". The principal pulled the bus tape and watched it with the bus driver and discovered that nothing happened.

UGH!

Now what do I do? I don't want to devalue Sammy's feelings (he already has such a low self-esteem) and I know that Sammy honestly believes these attacks are happening to him. His perceptions of reality are so false. What should I do? How do I bring it up to him without him saying to me, "You never believe me" and "You always side with the teachers" etc...

My husband and I have no idea how to raise our very smart but obviously very sensitive child who seems to live in his own world. It is very lonely here in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. I so appreciate this group as there aren't any support systems in place where we now live.

Can anyone offer an opinion?

~Carly (mother to Sammy, age 9, ASD, Depression, ADHD) (White Bear Lake, MN)

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent:

Sunday, January 22, 2012 6:59 PMSubject: Re: Re: oo

I know this makes me mad. My kids are PDD-NOS and I dont know what we would do without all the therapy and stuff. My daughter is 4.5 and would still run out into traffic if I wasnt holding on to her. She doesn't understand like othe kids. I am scared we are going to lose are services for her. And my son just turned 2 and cant talk. We are going to a specialist nest month. But what are we parents going to do when they take away what little help we have

From: Alan Shapiro <alanshapiro@...To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 10:07 AMSubject: Re: Re: oo

this is outrageous! Society will end up paying later when all of these kids are older, and didnt receive the services they needed. My son's not yet formally diagnosed, but I am going to get that diagnosis asap. does anyone k now when this takes affect?

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2012 11:03 PMSubject: Re: oo

I saw this too. According to the folks at Yale, the new criteria would exclude 75% with Asperger syndrome and 85% with PDD-NOS. It even excludes 25% of those dxed with "classic autism". These findings were based on a study of about 375ish people dxed back in 1993. I read that there's an additional study being conducted right now and it's based on a larger group of 1000. Hopefully, more changes to the proposed criteria will be made in order to include those already diagnosed. I wholeheartedly agree with Molloy from Autism NZ: changing the definition of autism will not make the condition go away. > >> >> **> >>>

>> ooo> >>> >> >> >> > --> > White> >> > > >> > > > -- > White>

[Guest guest]

That's not true. If he can have it written in his IEP if he has one that he cannot handle the noise or the commotion, or anything about riding a bus w/ other kids and accomodation must be made for him. That is national, not a state or school district decision. I'd fight that IF he has an IEP.

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 10:59 PMSubject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

Thank you so much for that idea, I have looked into it, but they only give special education transportation to those kids with a physical or mental handicap that impairs their ability to board and exit the bus. Stupid!

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers >; "srt12780@..." Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 8:47 PMSubject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

How about special needs transporation?

; To: autism-aspergers <autism-aspergers >; Subject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help? Sent: Tue, Jan 24, 2012 2:44:23 AM

Is someone able to pick him up from school? The bus is such a hard place for "special" kids

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 9:37 PMSubject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

I agree! I tried to talk to him tonight and he was certain that the Principal pulled the wrong tape and that all of the kids hate him. , any chance you live in Minnesota?

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 11:06 AMSubject: Re: Son's Perceptions Don't Match Reality -Can You Help?

I'm interested to hear if anyone else has advice for this too- My son- Also Sam who is Also in 4th grade (10yrs old) struggles with this MAJORLY. he is defensive, thinks everyone is out to get him, and nothing is EVER his fault (even when it SO is!) he could believe the sky is red and honestly believe it to be true no matter what we say. It's one of the hardest parts of this journey- trying to make sure we are loving and encouraging, but trying to have him see what is real. soo soo hard.

Hello all,

My 9 year old son has Asperger's and we moved to a new school district for him to start his 4th grade year in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. We thought moving to a community with kids all around would be better for our son, Sammy.

Anyway, he now takes the bus both to school and home. On a Monday morning he told me that he has been bullied (hit and thrown over a seat) on the bus on the way home, the ride to school seems fine (he rides a different bus to school than he does home so the kids are different).

He named two kids on the bus that are bullying him. These two kids live in our neighborhood and Sammy has played with them on two occasions, but they are much more into throwing the football when my Sammy would rather read a book, play chess or do a science experiment. He tries so hard to fit in but these boys (and their moms) don't seem to care if Sammy is excluded. Finally in November, Sammy stopped trying to play with them.

Anyway, these are the two kids he named as the bullies. I called the school principal and the principal talked to Sammy and Sammy told him a date of one the latest "attacks". The principal pulled the bus tape and watched it with the bus driver and discovered that nothing happened.

UGH!

Now what do I do? I don't want to devalue Sammy's feelings (he already has such a low self-esteem) and I know that Sammy honestly believes these attacks are happening to him. His perceptions of reality are so false. What should I do? How do I bring it up to him without him saying to me, "You never believe me" and "You always side with the teachers" etc...

My husband and I have no idea how to raise our very smart but obviously very sensitive child who seems to live in his own world. It is very lonely here in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. I so appreciate this group as there aren't any support systems in place where we now live.

Can anyone offer an opinion?

~Carly (mother to Sammy, age 9, ASD, Depression, ADHD) (White Bear Lake, MN)

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 6:59 PMSubject: Re: Re: oo

I know this makes me mad. My kids are PDD-NOS and I dont know what we would do without all the therapy and stuff. My daughter is 4.5 and would still run out into traffic if I wasnt holding on to her. She doesn't understand like othe kids. I am scared we are going to lose are services for her. And my son just turned 2 and cant talk. We are going to a specialist nest month. But what are we parents going to do when they take away what little help we have

From: Alan Shapiro <alanshapiro@...To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 10:07 AMSubject: Re: Re: oo

this is outrageous! Society will end up paying later when all of these kids are older, and didnt receive the services they needed. My son's not yet formally diagnosed, but I am going to get that diagnosis asap. does anyone k now when this takes affect?

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Saturday, January 21, 2012 11:03 PMSubject: Re: oo

I saw this too. According to the folks at Yale, the new criteria would exclude 75% with Asperger syndrome and 85% with PDD-NOS. It even excludes 25% of those dxed with "classic autism". These findings were based on a study of about 375ish people dxed back in 1993. I read that there's an additional study being conducted right now and it's based on a larger group of 1000. Hopefully, more changes to the proposed criteria will be made in order to include those already diagnosed. I wholeheartedly agree with Molloy from Autism NZ: changing the definition of autism will not make the condition go away. > >> >> **> >>> >> ooo> >>> >> >> >> > --> > White> >> > > >> > > > -- >

White>

[Guest guest]

Yes, get it in his IEP. Before my son changed schools, he was going to get a

referral for the bus. My older son followed them (bus driver and younger son)

into the office to try and " help " explain the situation. Fortunately the

prinicipal has an aspie son and knew about him so told the driver to allow my

son to sit with him or alone on the bus (the kindies have to sit 3 to a seat and

he hated that). Now that he goes to another school, he is bussed on the special

ed bus. For the most part it is better. There is no reason they should say NO. I

have seen plenty of non-handicapped children ride the special ed bus.

> >> >> **> >>> >> ooo> >>> >> >> >> > --> > White> >> > > >> >

> > -- > White>

>