Guest guest Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 There are no bad feelings, they are exactly what you say, they are what they are and need acceptance at face value. I've heard it said that emotions are like a river. sometimes calm, sometimes with rapids, we just have to ride them out and the picture always changes. try to enjoy the ride through your valentiney section of the river. the scenery will change, it always does. tiki Today Well - no peaks and valleys today. Just valleys and solid ground. Not a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all. Most of the day has been pretty good - as I have been " staying in the moment. " But for some reason this Valentine's Day stuff started kicking my butt a bit. And I feel some sadness. Grieving I suppose. It's not like Valentine's Day was ever that big a deal. I tend to lean more toward practical than romantic. But for some reason - the part of me that is dealing with myself keeps reminding me that this is Valentine's Day. Like it should matter. Memories are bitter-sweet right now. Memories of feeling nutured and cared for...and even loved - and then feelings of sadness that that couldn't grow....and in fact began disappearing. And feelings of frustration that he blamed me for making it all go away. And not being clear on which parts were real - and which were the " illusion " .. the what I hoped that it was...and would be..the what I " needed " it to be - rather than what it was. And the knowledge that I am better off now than I was before. For so long my life has seemed somewhat " unreal. " Probably because it was/is. Or as Bradshaw would say - I was living my trance. Lately I have been getting those flashes of " realness " again..and realize how much I miss them. Yet I looked in the mirror a lot today - and hardly recognize the person looking back at me. She seems unreal. I knew my life was seeming unreal - but it surprised me that *I* was unreal to me also. But some things are going out of my body too...and I can feel some shifts in my head..my physical head more than my mind.. Yet today I fight the feeling within me that wants to go back a " re- capture " some of the " specialness " ....as if I even could. To go back and try to hold onto that which I could not hold on to - because it wasn't something which could be held onto.. Writing this helps. It helps a lot. I don't want to avoid the feelings...Well I DO want to, but............ Nor put up walls... Nor try to " fix " them...Well...I DO want to...but.... Maybe right now I can just let my feelings be feelings... and not do a damn thing about them except for that. Free Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: http://www.BPDCentral.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 News Flash! I felt my feelings and actually lived through it...(she speaks AS IF that part of life is over - LOL - Been there..done that... Argh!!) But I made it through an hour... Actually they started shifting even as I wrote about them..though I didn't ask them too. I'm so into distorting reality that sometimes I feel like I at least need a chaser after a dose of straight reality. I keep wanting that Shirley Temple kind of reality - the kind they serve with pretty little paper umbrellas and a whole jar of cherries on pretty little sticks... But oh no...sometimes I get the reality where you have to lick salt blocks and hold your breath and eat worms and stuff... The truth will set you free!!!! Somebdy improtant said that - but we won't mention any names less we start a Holy War... I also started noticing what I was NOT feeling...(at least right now). I am NOT feeling panic. I am NOT feeling like a bad person. I am NOT feeling confused about how I feel. Even with the mixture of feelings - it is more like a kaleidescope than a tangled mess.. Free > There are no bad feelings, they are exactly what you say, they are what they are and need acceptance at face value. I've heard it said that emotions are like a river. sometimes calm, sometimes with rapids, we just have to ride them out and the picture always changes. try to enjoy the ride through your valentiney section of the river. the scenery will change, it always does. tiki > Today > > > Well - no peaks and valleys today. Just valleys and solid ground. Not > a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all. > > Most of the day has been pretty good - as I have been " staying in the > moment. " But for some reason this Valentine's Day stuff started > kicking my butt a bit. And I feel some sadness. Grieving I suppose. > It's not like Valentine's Day was ever that big a deal. I tend to > lean more toward practical than romantic. But for some reason - the > part of me that is dealing with myself keeps reminding me that this > is Valentine's Day. Like it should matter. > > Memories are bitter-sweet right now. Memories of feeling nutured and > cared for...and even loved - and then feelings of sadness that that > couldn't grow....and in fact began disappearing. And feelings of > frustration that he blamed me for making it all go away. And not > being clear on which parts were real - and which were > the " illusion " .. the what I hoped that it was...and would be..the > what I " needed " it to be - rather than what it was. > > And the knowledge that I am better off now than I was before. For so > long my life has seemed somewhat " unreal. " Probably because it > was/is. Or as Bradshaw would say - I was living my trance. Lately I > have been getting those flashes of " realness " again..and realize how > much I miss them. Yet I looked in the mirror a lot today - and hardly > recognize the person looking back at me. She seems unreal. I knew my > life was seeming unreal - but it surprised me that *I* was unreal to > me also. > > But some things are going out of my body too...and I can feel some > shifts in my head..my physical head more than my mind.. > > Yet today I fight the feeling within me that wants to go back a " re- > capture " some of the " specialness " ....as if I even could. To go back > and try to hold onto that which I could not hold on to - because it > wasn't something which could be held onto.. > > Writing this helps. It helps a lot. I don't want to avoid the > feelings...Well I DO want to, but............ > Nor put up walls... > Nor try to " fix " them...Well...I DO want to...but.... > > Maybe right now I can just let my feelings be feelings... > and not do a damn thing about them except for that. > > Free > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2008 Report Share Posted February 20, 2008 Well thank goodness it is over. Do have to say it wasn't too bad. Had to be there by 10am, was being wheeled into operating room at 11:55, right on the nose, was in recovery by 2 and on the way home by 3-3:30 Dr.Horan put a tube into my tube of the kidney with a stint[sp] and I pee thru a strainer,,,so just maybe the 5mm no he said it was a 6mm will come thru. If not when I go back on the 27th we will do it all over again but if I haven't passed it this time he will blast it... Saw our friend Jim for a few today, he was there for some tests....He is just a shadow of his old self, he does need some sun tho, guess he will have to hang out with Marta in the back yard...LOL The pain that I am having is like having the cramps from your period, I take a darvsett[sp] and keep going...Come out, come out where ever you are...LOL God bless, Pat and good nite or morning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2008 Report Share Posted February 20, 2008 Pat, I'm glad it wasn't as bad as you feared. you looked, ah, shall we say, a tad nervous! Now, Pat, can you just see Marta and Me starkers in her back yard??? LOL I'm glad you're doing OK, my friend. Jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2008 Report Share Posted February 20, 2008 Pat - Isn't it always easier than imagined? Good for you for coming thru with such a great attitude. Hope this catches the upstart stone/s. Bobbe in Paso. 285=24. 3/03. 171=16. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 How cool is that? You inspire me! so here's what I just did I have this older guy very frail Parkinson's and myelodysplasia and well lots of things and a recent fall with sacral fx and an admit ( much confusion the ct did not mention the fx the orthopod said there was a fx someone ordered a bone scan the family said is there or isnt there a fx, I call radiology they say of course there is I say umm the report doesn't mention it they say - oh, and he got a fever and some resp infection and he has trouble swallowing and was ? aspiraitng and went to the NH to rehab but got readmitted to hospital and anyway -- He is doing poorly ,right, so I say to family we need to get together and talk .I am thinking hospice or well various issues have come up .I say Can family come up (to maine?) NO cannot do ,has 4 kids, hours away.But the son arranges a call-in conference call and I call IT at hospital who brings this wicked cool speaker phone to the room PAtietn has a tiny voice but all 5 people in the phone could hear their Dad- one is former colleague of mine a pediatrician and we have a great family mtg ( I get the hospitalist to consult me to do the work) and we discuss all the issues make a plan answer all the questions . 45min .They do a group electronic hug , I report to the hospitlaist who is more than glad to have me do all this and the guy gets good ,not overdone , no mistakes care. Maine -it says on t he turnpike - the way life should be.Boy that was really nice Efficient compensated totally excellent primary care. In the hospital. Waking the public to what's wrong with health care is an essential ingredient in reform. Use this message widely. Discuss it with your patients. One of the major drivers of dysfunction, pain, and cost is the burden of the administrative trivia. Business Human Resources heads will purchase a benefits package that has the promise of lower cost due to insurance company moves like " pharmacy benefits management, " " disease management, " and " case management. " Using a narrow focus financial analysis these interventions look good (in the short term), but - taking the long term or widening the financial analysis to account for the increased costs in our practices, the ramped up hamster wheel, the further decline in our ability to work for our patients – one finds increased overall cost, decreased overall satisfaction, worse overall outcomes. Human resource executives and business leaders are desperate for cost savings. They are fooled by the insurance industry into believing that these interventions will lead to overall reduced premium, improved satisfaction, higher quality. These interventions have been around for more than a decade, giving us enough time to judge the outcome a dismal failure. It is time for a change. We need significant reform of the health care system. All the high performing health systems in the world are based on a platform of effective primary care. High performing health systems achieve vastly superior results while averaging less than half the per person cost of the US health care system. Suggest to your patients that they speak to their human resources people at work. Tell them to stop being fooled by false promises and interventions that look good up front and may even have been well intended but are not only overall failures but are a major cause of the continuing decline of health care and the imminent demise of primary care in the U.S. Employers are desperate, we are desperate, and much of the public is desperate for true reform. We have to lend our thoughts, our words, our ideas to this desperation to help focus the attention on changes that matter. These times require two major changes: Primary care must be relieved of the crushing administrative trivia that adds so little overall value. Primary care must given adequate resources to engage in the full scope of work that is our specialty including coordination of care across the continuum. The resources to adequately fund primary care do not require an increase in premiums. The extra money to enable effective primary care can come initially from the millions spent annually on " disease management " and " case management. " This initial re-allocation of resources results in effective primary care which results in improved health and reduced cost. The money should be distributed as a monthly or quarterly " disease or case management " fee. This extra money to primary care should be directed toward those practices willing to demonstrate that they have the ability to deliver effective primary care. Remind your patients that we know how to do this work. We have: Eliminated the barriers to access and wasted time Superb relationships over time A broad array of services that includes the ability to elicit and work with the patient agenda (patient-centered collaborative care). We could do so much more if we could afford the modern tools used to help us track unmet patient needs and if we had the resources necessary to perform the outreach and " population management. " The ability to coordinate care across the crazy silos of health care. Again we could do so much more to help prevent our patients from falling through the chasms between the silos if we had the resources. The primary care community has again and again invested time and money in tools to help us track patients with chronic disease, use online tools as point-of-care decision support, perform outreach to patients with gaps in care, open ourselves to our patients after hours by phone, email, text message. We do this work even though it is not valued and our finances suffer – we do it because it is the right thing to do. Your patients can talk to their employers, their benefits managers, their legislators to urge them to do the right thing. Americans don't need more " insurance, " they need real health care they can afford and a primary care work force that is given the resources to do the work. Gordon From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 7:02 AM To: Subject: Re: Physician's Foundation survey Hi all: Many of you probably saw this, but just in case here it is: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/11/17/primary.care.doctors.study/index.html Half of all primary care doctors in the U.S. would quit if they had an income alternative. BUt how many plumbers and elctricians and landscapers and ffactory workers would quit if they had an income alternative? -- If you are a patient please allow up to 12 hours for a reply by email/ please note the new email address. Remember that e-mail may not be entirely secure/ MD ph fax -- If you are a patient please allow up to 12 hours for a reply by email/please note the new email address.Remember that e-mail may not be entirely secure/ MD ph fax -- Annie SkaggsLexington, KY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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