RE: Re: Connie discussion on consequences CORY

April 21, 2008

Did you feel like the price for the Total Transformation program was worth it?

Would you mind if I emailed you off board and asked some questions on it?

Thanks!

Connie wrote:

Tracey and Corey,

Well, what we made our son do when he put the hole in the wall

from slamming the door open is he had to help is dad repair the

hole. This was before he had a job so he couldn't pay for the

materials but he could help with the repair. This would not work

now because our son's main OCD symptom is contamination fears.

Working with drywall mudd and drywall dust would be too high on his

hierarchy right now for him to do. So, that is what I meant when I

said the consequence would be different now. Forcing him to do

exposure he is not ready for would not be a good idea.

Hopefully my explanation makes sense.

Take care

Connie

>

> Having been in both places, I'd say I have to agree.

>

> When my ds was having such a hard time pre-meds, it was just not

good. 45

> minutes to get out the door to school, rages when things don't

go " as they

> should. " It's awful.

>

> I know much of the improvement was due to the right Rx, some just

maturing

> out of the 12-13 age range, but one thing that really helped was

the " Total

> Transformation " CDs (Dr. Lehman - on the radio all the

time). A " magic

> phrase " that really did work when he was disrespectful, mouthy,

etc., is

> " Don't talk to me like that. I don't like it. " Short and sweet, no

long

> lectures. I don't know why it works, but it does.

>

> Another is what a previous posted mentioned: natural consequences.

Also,

> after the storm passes, we talk about it and what he could do next

time

> differently. The " post-game wrap " when things are calm again are a

good time

> to work out a better reaction.

>

> But as far as natural consequences go, at first it was really hard

because

> he was used to me " taking care of things. " But he said that even

though it

> put off the consequence for a little while, he really felt crummy

about it

> because OCD or not, he knew it was wrong, and not having a natural

> consequence was actually scarier because it seemed as if me, the

parent, was

> not in charge. And the crummy feeling inside actually made the OCD

worse,

> because it added to his stress level.

>

> It is so hard, it really is. But they do learn new habits, despite

the OCD.

>

> Just a couple of thoughts...

>

> Re: 123 MAGIC/Parenting with OCD

>

> Hey Barb,

>

> It is annoying and frustrating when your kids lose their temper

> and end up damaging stuff in your home. Our daughter (20 yrs old

> and no disorders) once put several holes in her brother's bedroom

> door when she kicked it because he wouldn't open it and let her

in.

> Our son put a hole in the wall slamming a door open (different

> door). This was before he was diagnosed with OCD, so no medication

> involved. The way we handled that stuff then is different than how

> we would have to handle it if our son did it now. With OCD, it

> definitely makes it more challenging when it comes to the

> consequences of their actions. You have to find consequences that

> leave OCD out of it; not easy.

>

> BTW, our son isn't sleeping in his bed at all right now because

> of his contamination issues. We've tried convincing him to sleep

in

> his bed, but he refuses. He sleeps on the floor. Now why he

> doesn't think the floor is contaminated is beyond me. LOL. We've

> let it go and just let him sleep on the floor because he's working

> on other stuff right now. We can't get our son to talk about his

> OCD much either. Now and then he does, but most of the time he

> doesn't want to. I think it is a guy thing. Hang in there Barb.

> Hugs to you.

>

> Take care

> Connie

---------------------------------

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April 21, 2008

I did feel it was worth it - and the phone support was very good too. Go

ahead and email me - thanks!

Best.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of c ward

Sent: Monday, April 21, 2008 3:41 PM

To:

Subject: Re: Re: Connie discussion on consequences CORY

Did you feel like the price for the Total Transformation program was worth

it? Would you mind if I emailed you off board and asked some questions on

it?

Thanks!

Connie <connie.corbin@ <mailto:connie.corbin%40sbcglobal.net> sbcglobal.net>

wrote: