Re:My Pain In Shame (to Sheila)

[Guest guest]

Hello dear Sheila, I felt the need to answer you on this , I can only imagine all you have been through.Even with all the empathic energy, as I said, I can just say I can only IMAGINE.I can truly say to you, right now, If I could I would take all this Physical pain from you, my dear! I really would. I hold you in high regard,and since I saw your message on the message board of Abundant living, I knew inside of me that you belonged here inside this family. We are just trying to organized ourselves inside so we can be more effective,and be able to respond , support and practically give some solutions to relief many sufferings. One more time, I want you to feel at home here.We are here unconditionally to be with you , all paths , during this Journey wherever this Journey leads Us. We are with you for this ride, sister, May you be blessed, and as of right now, I unite my intentions with yours , so God can bring about to manifestation of your the rightful desires of your heart. Namaste, You are in my thoughts and prayers , my dear!*Liane* ; AND > ALL....> > As I read your story, it feels like my insides are being > pulled out, because I am feeling the same in 1 way, but had > completely different experiences than you. This new way of thinking > tells me that everything I am suffering is my own fault and it seems > to add more pain and guilt and shame instead of helping it. This new > way of thinking (well its all new to me) tells me that if I were to > just think differently, there would be no more suffering. I am still > rebelling against that. That leaves no room for God helping us walk > through certain circumstances because He knows we need to learn from > them. It leaves no room for others needing to help those who need > help, because "they caused it, they are supposed to work out of it > themselves", and I have been told that, but have never been taught > how to think differently. Just today I was going to send a note to > the group, saying how much pain I was in and that I did just want to > die today, and that my enthusiasm to stay alive,> > which started just a few weeks ago, had burned out because I > don't even have much strength to breathe or to process any > thinking....but didn't think I should post it here, because I would > get blamed for "thinking WRONGLY", and that everything I am feeling, > I brought on myself...and that information does NOT help me get out > of the pain. Does this new way of thinking leave any room for God > comforting me or there even being a God who loves me? I'm at the > point where I am trying to decide whether to accept/believe all of > this, or to go back to what I knew before, where I DID feel comfort > from my God. I am in pain, and I too was too ashamed to say anything > here. I have not even had the strength to read all the posts, so > have considered kicking myself out of the group, because I am in > grade 1 with this new way of thinking, and all of you seem to be in > University, and I don't even understand half of what is said, until > I learn other concepts first. I don't know what to think or> > feel or think...I just know I am in terrible pain and afraid that > I might have to annul my marriage because I am too sick to help him > survive and adjust once he immigrates. He is from Swat, by Kashmir > in the Himalayan mountains, also where Shangri-la is believed to be, > where Buddha was born. He had to travel to Pakistan for > immigration, and they said that according to PAKISTANI LAW, there > was something left out on our marriage certificate. We got a lawyer > from Swat, who said that since we were not married in a Pakistani > owned area, Pakistani law does not matter. The Afghanistan people > have to go to Pakistan for immigration too. So then we were told it > would take from 1 to 4 years to even get a hearing to tell the judge > about the mistake, but I am happy for the delay, so I can try to get > well first. I am just thinking what if I don't get well? Why delay > his life? I need to let him move on and marry someone else...but he > doesn't want to. Ok enough babbling, thanks for> > writing that. I really was ashamed to cry out for help in here > too.> > Blessings, > > Sheila> > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> > Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! > > Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at > Games.> >>

[Guest guest]

Thanks sis Liane. I'm not the upbeat enthusiastic person today that

you were drawn to last week, but I'm sure it will pass. We all have

ups and downs.

Blessings, Sheila

; AND

> > ALL....

> > > As I read your story, it feels like my insides are being

> > pulled out, because I am feeling the same in 1 way, but had

> > completely different experiences than you. This new way of

thinking

> > tells me that everything I am suffering is my own fault and it

seems

> > to add more pain and guilt and shame instead of helping it. This

new

> > way of thinking (well its all new to me) tells me that if I were

to

> > just think differently, there would be no more suffering. I am

still

> > rebelling against that. That leaves no room for God helping us

walk

> > through certain circumstances because He knows we need to learn

from

> > them. It leaves no room for others needing to help those who need

> > help, because " they caused it, they are supposed to work out of

it

> > themselves " , and I have been told that, but have never been

taught

> > how to think differently. Just today I was going to send a note

to

> > the group, saying how much pain I was in and that I did just

want to

> > die today, and that my enthusiasm to stay alive,

> > > which started just a few weeks ago, had burned out because I

> > don't even have much strength to breathe or to process any

> > thinking....but didn't think I should post it here, because I

would

> > get blamed for " thinking WRONGLY " , and that everything I am

feeling,

> > I brought on myself...and that information does NOT help me get

out

> > of the pain. Does this new way of thinking leave any room for God

> > comforting me or there even being a God who loves me? I'm at the

> > point where I am trying to decide whether to accept/believe all

of

> > this, or to go back to what I knew before, where I DID feel

comfort

> > from my God. I am in pain, and I too was too ashamed to say

anything

> > here. I have not even had the strength to read all the posts, so

> > have considered kicking myself out of the group, because I am in

> > grade 1 with this new way of thinking, and all of you seem to be

in

> > University, and I don't even understand half of what is said,

until

> > I learn other concepts first. I don't know what to think or

> > > feel or think...I just know I am in terrible pain and afraid

that

> > I might have to annul my marriage because I am too sick to help

him

> > survive and adjust once he immigrates. He is from Swat, by

Kashmir

> > in the Himalayan mountains, also where Shangri-la is believed to

be,

> > where Buddha was born. He had to travel to Pakistan for

> > immigration, and they said that according to PAKISTANI LAW, there

> > was something left out on our marriage certificate. We got a

lawyer

> > from Swat, who said that since we were not married in a Pakistani

> > owned area, Pakistani law does not matter. The Afghanistan people

> > have to go to Pakistan for immigration too. So then we were told

it

> > would take from 1 to 4 years to even get a hearing to tell the

judge

> > about the mistake, but I am happy for the delay, so I can try to

get

> > well first. I am just thinking what if I don't get well? Why

delay

> > his life? I need to let him move on and marry someone else...but

he

> > doesn't want to. Ok enough babbling, thanks for

> > > writing that. I really was ashamed to cry out for help in here

> > too.

> > > Blessings,

> > > Sheila

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha!

> > > Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy)

at

> > Games.

> > >

> >

>