What do You wish you had known........

[Guest guest]

I am new to the group and am hoping that You all might be compelled to

share your wisdom with me.

I am the mother of 3 beautiful children, two typical teenage boys and

a 5 year old autistic girl.

My little one has had OCD behaviors such as stacking and lining things

since the age of 2, in the last 6 months however her behaviors have

become very structured (thats putting it mildly)

She has certain routines that must be followed, when using the

bathroom she insists on removing each article of clothing while naming

it (we must then repeat the word), after her clothes are removed she

wants her hair down, then she will tell us which function she will be

doing then she tells us to go away.

She also has a certain routine that she follows when she comes home

that includes turning separate televisions to separate shows and then

dressing into particular clothes, if one item such as a certain sock

is missing she goes directly into a panic attack.

I was already overwhelmed when this began and am trying desperately to

address it all, the problem is that my husband feels we need to follow

her routines and rituals in an attempt to " keep her happy " while I am

envisioning a life where eventually every waking moment will be

consumed if we continue to let this continue.

Any input will be greatly appreciated.

Toni

[Guest guest]

Hi Toni, I have a son (19) with OCD and Aspergers.

Knowing that those on the autistic spectrum have obsessive type

behaviors and rituals can make it " interesting " at times to wonder

which diagnosis a behavior is coming from, but I'm with you that her

behaviors seem to be OCD related.

I know she's only 5, but have you tried talking to her about

her... " demanding needs " ? There are some good books for children

about OCD that might help her to understand about " bossy OCD. "

What you can begin to try at some point (after talking with her) is

to work on changing just one of her routines, sort of try to

purposely mix it up. And rewards and praise can help with motivation

to work on things.

Wish I had more time right now but things to do! However, I'm with

you and not dad on this. But as I said above, you begin to work on

just 1 or 2 problems and don't try to address all her routines at

once.

>

> I am new to the group and am hoping that You all might be compelled

to

> share your wisdom with me.

>

> I am the mother of 3 beautiful children, two typical teenage boys

and

> a 5 year old autistic girl.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Toni,

Welcome to the group. It sure sounds like classic OCD from what you

describe. Not sure if you have had an official diagnosis? This

would be my first step. Also if you have not already get some books

that can help you understand and combat this disorder.

There are some really good workbooks depending on the severity you

are dealing with a lot of families have had good success working a

program themselves. Check the oc foundation website for names of

books, Tamar Chansky and Aureen Pinto Wagner are both very good.

There are some good children's books too.

Ideally you do not want to encourage or accomodate these " rituals " .

Having said that it is not usually a good idea to go cold turkey

either. You will figure this out as you slowly start to withdraw

from participating. This can be very difficult depending as I say on

the level of severity and how long it has been going on. Most people

require a professional to assist this process.

Not sure whether you have consulted a professional or not, but

usually it is a psychologist who does CBT (cognitive behavior

therapy) and it is ERP (exposure response prevention) that you want

to ask if they do. You can check the website for names of doctors,

but you must still be sure to ask if they do CBT with ERP to treat

OCD. Sometimes medication is needed to turn down the intensity of the

OCD so they can do the CBT, which is anxiety provoking in itself.

It is really difficult when parents have different ideas about

handling things, I am familiar with this. It is hard to not feel

sorry for your child and how much they suffer, so we want to comply

to relieve their suffering. But by accomodating the OCD we feed it

and it grows, so it is not what you want to do. You can tell your

child this too. Again, a book that explains this would probably be a

good tool for her. I know " Up and Down the Worry Hill " , and I think

the other is " What to do When Your Brain Gets Stuck " .

Hang in there, it is overwhelming, but OCD is treatable.

Hugs to you!

Barb

>

> I am new to the group and am hoping that You all might be compelled

to

> share your wisdom with me.

>

> I am the mother of 3 beautiful children, two typical teenage boys

and

> a 5 year old autistic girl.

>

> My little one has had OCD behaviors such as stacking and lining

things

> since the age of 2, in the last 6 months however her behaviors have

> become very structured (thats putting it mildly)

>

> She has certain routines that must be followed, when using the

> bathroom she insists on removing each article of clothing while

naming

> it (we must then repeat the word), after her clothes are removed she

> wants her hair down, then she will tell us which function she will

be

> doing then she tells us to go away.

>

> She also has a certain routine that she follows when she comes home

> that includes turning separate televisions to separate shows and

then

> dressing into particular clothes, if one item such as a certain sock

> is missing she goes directly into a panic attack.

>

> I was already overwhelmed when this began and am trying desperately

to

> address it all, the problem is that my husband feels we need to

follow

> her routines and rituals in an attempt to " keep her happy " while I

am

> envisioning a life where eventually every waking moment will be

> consumed if we continue to let this continue.

>

> Any input will be greatly appreciated.

>

> Toni

>

[Guest guest]

Ok, now I just read Chris's post and realize your daughter has

autism. Sorry, I somehow missed that. Not sure how much I wrote

would be doable in that case. Sorry if my suggestions are not

appropriate, I was not considering autism as part of the mix.

Barb

> >

> > I am new to the group and am hoping that You all might be

compelled

> to

> > share your wisdom with me.

> >

> > I am the mother of 3 beautiful children, two typical teenage boys

> and

> > a 5 year old autistic girl.

> >

> > My little one has had OCD behaviors such as stacking and lining

> things

> > since the age of 2, in the last 6 months however her behaviors

have

> > become very structured (thats putting it mildly)

> >

> > She has certain routines that must be followed, when using the

> > bathroom she insists on removing each article of clothing while

> naming

> > it (we must then repeat the word), after her clothes are removed

she

> > wants her hair down, then she will tell us which function she

will

> be

> > doing then she tells us to go away.

> >

> > She also has a certain routine that she follows when she comes

home

> > that includes turning separate televisions to separate shows and

> then

> > dressing into particular clothes, if one item such as a certain

sock

> > is missing she goes directly into a panic attack.

> >

> > I was already overwhelmed when this began and am trying

desperately

> to

> > address it all, the problem is that my husband feels we need to

> follow

> > her routines and rituals in an attempt to " keep her happy " while

I

> am

> > envisioning a life where eventually every waking moment will be

> > consumed if we continue to let this continue.

> >

> > Any input will be greatly appreciated.

> >

> > Toni

> >

>