To tell or not to tell....

[Guest guest]

My son and I participate in a social skills group once a week. He learns social

skills with other children with similar dx to him while all the parents are in a

parent group. Tonight we discussed whether or not we have told our kids about

their dx and how we told and if we haven't told them, why not? I was the only

person in the group who has told and so I am curious about how others feel about

this. I told when he was 4. He was taking a bus to Easter Seals for

OT, had speech, had behaviorist visits and people coming to the house messing

with him and I thought he should know why we do all that. I told him that 1/2

of his brain works extra fast and that is why he is so good at memorizing

directions and tiny details most people don't even notice and that 1/2 of his

brain works a little slower and that's why we do all these extra things to help

him get better at stuff. It was very simple and childlike. He is now 8 and

since our first discussion we have added to it. He knows his cousins have

autism but he knows he isn't like them so I have explained that it is a spectrum

and what that means and he is able to understand that... he is quite

intelligent. I have also explained to him that there are all types of people

that have all different types of challenges like being blind or deaf, missing a

limb or in a wheelchair.... I added how blessed we are that we didn't have to

deal with any issues like that and how cool it is that he was given such

wonderful gifts along with the challenges and that some people's challenges

can't be improved and we are very lucky that we can always work to try to

improve where he does have challenges. He thought that all sounded pretty cool

and feels pretty good about it. I was glad that if there was only 1 parent in

that group who has told that it was me. Whew.... got that outta the way. So it

made me wonder what the other parents were waiting for. I didn't ask. I don't

know why. So I'll ask you guys...... if you haven't told your child... what are

you waiting for? What would make a particular time the " right time " .

Robison (author of Look Me In The Eye) was diagnosed in his 40s and was able to

look back on his life... including his childhood and say " Oooohhh..... that

explains everything! " I am grateful it is already just naturally in our

vocabulary and there won't ever be a shock.... can't wait to hear other opinions

or stories......