Guest guest Posted September 1, 2007 Report Share Posted September 1, 2007 I'm one of those grief stricken parents you wrote about. My experience was so heinous it almost hurts to write about. My daughter was held down and beaten to death by three people. One of them was apprehended. He would not give up the names of the other two. My feelings when it first happened to my baby? Outrage, anger, and ok - feelings I'm not too proud of. But I have to live with my loss day after day. My daughter was one of the three lights of my life. I feel like I've come through a valley of darkness. But out of this valley, I've grown very spiritually. I still miss my daughter and grieve every day. It's not been quite two years yet. But nothing I can do will bring her back. And there is no punishment in this life that is going to change anything. Her killers have to answer to a higher power than me or the courts. I believe that our paths are decided for us or maybe by us. This was going to happen no matter how much I didn't want it too. I can't even express my grief in words, that's how deep it is. But out of the grief came my quest for spirituality. It's the only thing besides friends and family that gets me through. God Bless. Love and Light, Carole > > I'm making this a new thread and it may get deeper than any here wish it > would go. I've had it on my mind for a few days now and it has worked > it's way to the need to try to write it out. Some may not want to hear > it; some may take issue with at least some of it. Yet, I think it's > something that has to be brought up. What comes to mind, comes to be > healed, or, maybe to point the way towards it. > > This was after the post about the 10 year olds who harmed the other > child. It brought to mind, many of the other crimes related to children, > that have come out over the years, and I break down. I take issue with > anything that involves a child, and you could say, if there's a deep > dark part of me, it must relate to such a thing. > > I don't know about you, but first, when I was a kid, you learned certain > things, usually...regardless of how you learned it...and that was to be > respectful, be polite, be human; to respect life and living. And kids > prior to that in years past learned it even more so. There were lines > you didn't cross. I'm not entirely clear on what happened since, there > are many factors. > > I hear so much crap about personal responsibility. Yes, we need to take > personal responsibility, but we also need to be aware of " root causes " . > Those should be the focus of energies, otherwise, the same problems will > continue to exist. A drinker should not drive after drinking. We know > this; the driver should have personally responsibility for their selves > and their actions, yet...in general, there is a deeper or root > problem..a gene? family history? a medical condition? Whatever it is, > it's there and that must be addressed, or the same results will always > be the issue. > > Look, if I go find a snake infested swamp, and I decide I'm going to > destroy every snake I see, so I feel safe, secure, or whatever, how does > that make any sense? If that's what I'm addressing, then doesn't it make > more sense to go find the " den " , the " root " of where they come from? If > I go for this den, then, I have a greater possibility of " solving the > problem " for all time. There will still be snakes around, but as they > are addressed, the success I'm trying to achieve becomes greater, does > it not? Now, I apologize to snakes for using them in this example, but I > hope the point is becoming clear. > > I have a beautiful wonderful daughter, as well as a few other kids. As > an extreme thinker, and even no different than a lot of parents would > think, I've let my mind go, to follow thoughts all the way through to > potential conclusions. This is what thinking is...you follow a line of > thinking until you do not wish it to go further, decide against a > possibility, and go with another line. This is how decisions are made. > Except, I sometimes follow them all, and then decide. It is better to > not do this. When you catch yourself where you don't want to be, back > out, and go with something else. After all, thoughts do begin > creating...while you have the power, uncreate anything that doesn't > follow with the best idea for you. And if need be simply say " clear " . > Clear that thought, that image or idea. We don't want to feed it. > > Now...I will say " clear " here and now before I explain this next > thing...because I have followed the thinking, in grave detail. If you > have just eaten, you might wait to read it. I don't mention it now to > upset you... but to get to the next part, I must. > > Early on, when I would hear the stories of children being harmed, my > anger went through the roof. My anger coming online is not something > anyone would want to be near. If I had a wellspring of internal power, > fed by many past harms and hurts, that must be what fed it, because let > me tell you...there's no power on earth that could go up against it...or > so the feeling goes. Many reading this know what I mean...everything > goes blank except what your feeling, and it may not even be related to > what's happening then. > > When this rage hit, over a newscast...something I thought to be > completely beyond me..it was someone else, not close to home, I'd lose > it. Ever blow a hole in your tv set? I would follow my thoughts out. Had > it been my child, not any power that exist would have prevented me from > what would be the effect. The SOB responsible would find them selves > tied to a tree in the middle of some swamp...kelp alive for 3 days, all > the while, trimming up, joint by joint...having them experience what > real pain and horror was, until nothing but a living torso and head > remained to be left of the swamp to decide. > > Shaken? It took me some time, but that line of thinking shook me too. I > didn't like it. It was not the kinds of thoughts I wanted, yet, every > time I heard about these things, there it was, to be redefined even > more, more detail, more substance...more hated. I knew there wasn't a > court, or judge or police on the planet I would have allowed to pull > their stupid b/s and get in my way, unless of course, they had decided > they were one and the same as the one I would be after, which they would > of been...get in my way.... " bye " . > > It took a little while to understand how thoughts could draw the very > things I was creating in my mind...perhaps, by putting the thoughts out > there, I was creating it " into the collective " . I might have been > thinking it, and somewhere else, someone was acting on it, as if it was > their own thoughts, or feeding further what their thoughts may have > been. > > As this began to dawn on me, I was using " clear " hot and > heavily...because the thoughts would still come " for feeding " . And the > more I seemed to be feeding them, the more I seemed to see more and more > of this stuff. > > I began to shift my focus to questions of what people were doing these > things to children. Was it their own upbringings? If so, what would > cause it to become all this now? I had anger for a lot of things, but I > could never see myself doing such a thing. This may have been about the > same time I spanked my daughter for about the first and last time. I saw > that look in her eyes as if I had let her down, that look killed me. All > of a sudden I saw much of my childhood. After all, didn't all the kids > of my era get their a**'s beat almost everyday too? We turned out > alright didn't we? Didn't we? I don't think so. > > These kids doing these things aren't doing them for a new kick...the > adults who are abusing aren't doing it just to have something to do. > There's a reason...maybe more than one...and it's not all personal > responsibility. There's taking it, for sure...but you still have to find > and go to the root cause or your wasting your time. I'm not saying that > we blame the parents, and the schools, and whatever else comes up. There > may need to be things addressed there, but that's not the root causes. > > They will soon be killing the little man in Florida that molested and > buried the little girl there. Getting what he deserves right? Is he? > I've already told you what I would have done back then...killing > wouldn't have been good enough. What of the parents? You know their > hearts are ripped out at the core...the father went on to get a law > passed and spoke before congress, yet, how did he sit there in some > bogus court room and let others attend to this? Why wasn't he over those > chairs? There's a lot of questions. > > Then you have the boys spoke of in the other post. Now they will be free > under new names to live their lives. While parents remain grief stricken > for the rest of theirs. The boys have committed the unpardonable sin? > Correct? The very fact they are still breathing is enough. Right? What > will they do now? et me tell you what might happen. The pressure, as > they mature will become to great to bare, and most likely, they will > become drunks, drug addicts, perhaps hurt a few others because of this > rage within, and sooner or later, kill themselves, if someone doesn't do > it for them. > > Unless of course, they try to bypass that thinking, and want to find the > deeper cause...the root of how and why they did it to begin with. They > will never be free of the grief, or self hatred for the thing. Many will > say they have none, and that they are unable to feel. But let me ask you > this? Even on your worst day, your darkest hour, your angriest moment, > in your bitterest grief...what are you doing? Everyone feels...either > pain, or pleasure...there is no in between. There may be a mix of one > and the other but there is no in between. What do you do with feelings? > To move passed what you believe is painful, you might be willing to do > anything...even if it would bring more pain. > > Let say I take over the world.....just suppose. What happens next? I > take down the corporate structure and do away with the b/s corporate > statues, the law. It serves no purpose whatsoever. Now what? Do things > change overnight now that everything is free...the people are free to > live their lives the way they see fit. No! I think that many things may > need to be done so that other things could be undone first. You wouldn't > need police of course. present day police are nothing short of corporate > security, protecting the property of the corporation, that would be you > too by the way. it is " law enforcement " ...you are secondary. > > Do you remember " peace officers " ? They were there to " keep the peace " . > To help. They weren't there to arrest and harass you. They were like the > " parent figure " , or older sibling, to make sure no harm came to you, > otherwise, they were not really there. > > You see, in a newer world, people wouldn't change overnight...a lot > would, yet, some would still do as they have always done, what they have > learned to do. Root causes didn't just go away. This is where what is > required is " loving understanding " . When you go to the hospital for > something like cancer...does the doctor go to slapping you all over the > place, letting you know what a piece of chit you are for having arrived > in this condition? Well???? Would it be closer to the truth that they > will run whatever test they need to, and look for....what????? A ROOT > CAUSE, while addressing the immediate concerns. > > This is how the rest of the world would be. There's a lot of issues > needing addressed...and burying them in the graveyard or the prison > system won't ever change it....ever. > > For those who may have suffered abuse at the hands of a husband, wife, > relative, parents, etc...when ever did threats and deterrents work? > When? If anything, it fueled anger and hatred within...it feed fear. It > did nothing else. > > Somewhere in my childhood, I learned to respect people, elders, even the > " law " , although I took issue with anything that smelled of authority. > That to me equaled the license to inflict harm... " respect " , > yes... " like " , hell no. > > But it kelp me from going across some imaginary line. Somehow, that line > has been moved for some, those who do some of these things. That " stuff " > inside comes spilling out into the lives of others. If you go with the > thought that they choose to be here for that, to bring attention to > things for the rest of us, then by God, we need to get the messages > don't you think? > > Well, this is not my problem, my issue, doesn't affect me, outside of my > sphere of existence....NO IT'S NOT. IF it comes to YOUR ATTENTION, it > comes to BE HEALED. > > But how? That is the question, isn't it? How do I help? What can I do? > You can LOVE. It is what changes everything....EVERYTHING. I don't know > all the right answers, but I do know that if I send love directly into > it, I have done the most powerful thing I can RIGHT NOW. > > I don't know what to say about the boys being set free to live their > lives...seemingly free from what they have been a part of...but I do > know I can choose to send them love, and to their entire situation, that > the loving, right things will come out of it. And, right now, that's all > I can do about it, unless of course, I want to revisit my swamp with the > issue and become angry...and feed the collective, which in turn feeds > more of it, somewhere. > > And I can send love to the little boys family, to the parents, and into > their hearts. I have nothing but compassion for them...I feel and can > only imagine...and I am filled with extreme empathy and have to leave > that connection, else it consume me. > > I must put love into it at the fullest measure I am capable of...the > universe has it's own plan at work here...I empower it with love. > > Here it is, this new changing world...are you truly aware of it's > meaning? We are " becoming one " ...to become one on love and compassion. > This is complete healing. Would we leave some part of us to rot away, > cut off, unloved, and still expect to be whole? That's > impossible....THAT's IMPOSSIBLE! We have to come to a place where we > love every part pf ourselves. And if there is a part that ails us, we > must administer love...we must find the root causes and change it...love > it. > > We're not there yet, but, we are trying....we are, right? > > > > > > > With Love, > D~ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2007 Report Share Posted September 1, 2007 Carole, my heart goes out to you and this is why I have difficulties in facing these challenging issues, but as stated, trying to ignore it by thinking it doesnt affect me, so I don't have to deal with it....doesn't mean it goes away. Or gets resolved in any way within myself. I guess the biggest question for me is why? Why do people like this exist in our world? Why does our species behave in such dispicable and horrendous ways at times? How can such acts perpetuate or ripple out with any kind of goodness? Or is it what we call evil that as lightworkers we continually strive to bring light to? I honestly don't know. I guess all I can do is (again) as said (thank you for sharing ) is send love and light knowing it is the most powerful force in the universe to heal all things. And heal we must. Love and Light to you Carole, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your tragedy and your wisdom and your growth. And you Love and Light and Blessings to all Rhonda ----- Original Message ----From: Carole <cbrum2005@...> Sent: Saturday, September 1, 2007 11:57:47 AMSubject: [] Re: On A Serious Note... I'm one of those grief stricken parents you wrote about. My experience was so heinous it almost hurts to write about. My daughter was held down and beaten to death by three people. One of them was apprehended. He would not give up the names of the other two. My feelings when it first happened to my baby? Outrage, anger, and ok - feelings I'm not too proud of. But I have to live with my loss day after day. My daughter was one of the three lights of my life. I feel like I've come through a valley of darkness. But out of this valley, I've grown very spiritually. I still miss my daughter and grieve every day. It's not been quite two years yet. But nothing I can do will bring her back. And there is no punishment in this life that is going to change anything. Her killers have to answer to a higher power than me or the courts. I believe that our paths are decided for us or maybe by us. This was going to happen no matter how much I didn't want it too. I can't even express my grief in words, that's how deep it is. But out of the grief came my quest for spirituality. It's the only thing besides friends and family that gets me through. God Bless.Love and Light, Carole>> I'm making this a new thread and it may get deeper than any here wish it> would go. I've had it on my mind for a few days now and it has worked> it's way to the need to try to write it out. Some may not want to hear> it; some may take issue with at least some of it. Yet, I think it's> something that has to be brought up. What comes to mind, comes to be> healed, or, maybe to point the way towards it.> > This was after the post about the 10 year olds who harmed the other> child. It brought to mind, many of the other crimes related to children,> that have come out over the years, and I break down. I take issue with> anything that involves a child, and you could say, if there's a deep> dark part of me, it must relate to such a thing.> > I don't know about you, but first, when I was a kid, you learned certain> things, usually...regardles s of how you learned it...and that was to be> respectful, be polite, be human; to respect life and living. And kids> prior to that in years past learned it even more so. There were lines> you didn't cross. I'm not entirely clear on what happened since, there> are many factors.> > I hear so much crap about personal responsibility. Yes, we need to take> personal responsibility, but we also need to be aware of "root causes".> Those should be the focus of energies, otherwise, the same problems will> continue to exist. A drinker should not drive after drinking. We know> this; the driver should have personally responsibility for their selves> and their actions, yet...in general, there is a deeper or root> problem..a gene? family history? a medical condition? Whatever it is,> it's there and that must be addressed, or the same results will always> be the issue.> > Look, if I go find a snake infested swamp, and I decide I'm going to> destroy every snake I see, so I feel safe, secure, or whatever, how does> that make any sense? If that's what I'm addressing, then doesn't it make> more sense to go find the "den", the "root" of where they come from? If> I go for this den, then, I have a greater possibility of "solving the> problem" for all time. There will still be snakes around, but as they> are addressed, the success I'm trying to achieve becomes greater, does> it not? Now, I apologize to snakes for using them in this example, but I> hope the point is becoming clear.> > I have a beautiful wonderful daughter, as well as a few other kids. As> an extreme thinker, and even no different than a lot of parents would> think, I've let my mind go, to follow thoughts all the way through to> potential conclusions. This is what thinking is...you follow a line of> thinking until you do not wish it to go further, decide against a> possibility, and go with another line. This is how decisions are made.> Except, I sometimes follow them all, and then decide. It is better to> not do this. When you catch yourself where you don't want to be, back> out, and go with something else. After all, thoughts do begin> creating...while you have the power, uncreate anything that doesn't> follow with the best idea for you. And if need be simply say "clear".> Clear that thought, that image or idea. We don't want to feed it.> > Now...I will say "clear" here and now before I explain this next> thing...because I have followed the thinking, in grave detail. If you> have just eaten, you might wait to read it. I don't mention it now to> upset you... but to get to the next part, I must.> > Early on, when I would hear the stories of children being harmed, my> anger went through the roof. My anger coming online is not something> anyone would want to be near. If I had a wellspring of internal power,> fed by many past harms and hurts, that must be what fed it, because let> me tell you...there' s no power on earth that could go up against it...or> so the feeling goes. Many reading this know what I mean...everything> goes blank except what your feeling, and it may not even be related to> what's happening then.> > When this rage hit, over a newscast...somethin g I thought to be> completely beyond me..it was someone else, not close to home, I'd lose> it. Ever blow a hole in your tv set? I would follow my thoughts out. Had> it been my child, not any power that exist would have prevented me from> what would be the effect. The SOB responsible would find them selves> tied to a tree in the middle of some swamp...kelp alive for 3 days, all> the while, trimming up, joint by joint...having them experience what> real pain and horror was, until nothing but a living torso and head> remained to be left of the swamp to decide.> > Shaken? It took me some time, but that line of thinking shook me too. I> didn't like it. It was not the kinds of thoughts I wanted, yet, every> time I heard about these things, there it was, to be redefined even> more, more detail, more substance... more hated. I knew there wasn't a> court, or judge or police on the planet I would have allowed to pull> their stupid b/s and get in my way, unless of course, they had decided> they were one and the same as the one I would be after, which they would> of been...get in my way...."bye" .> > It took a little while to understand how thoughts could draw the very> things I was creating in my mind...perhaps, by putting the thoughts out> there, I was creating it "into the collective". I might have been> thinking it, and somewhere else, someone was acting on it, as if it was> their own thoughts, or feeding further what their thoughts may have> been.> > As this began to dawn on me, I was using "clear" hot and> heavily...because the thoughts would still come "for feeding". And the> more I seemed to be feeding them, the more I seemed to see more and more> of this stuff.> > I began to shift my focus to questions of what people were doing these> things to children. Was it their own upbringings? If so, what would> cause it to become all this now? I had anger for a lot of things, but I> could never see myself doing such a thing. This may have been about the> same time I spanked my daughter for about the first and last time. I saw> that look in her eyes as if I had let her down, that look killed me. All> of a sudden I saw much of my childhood. After all, didn't all the kids> of my era get their a**'s beat almost everyday too? We turned out> alright didn't we? Didn't we? I don't think so.> > These kids doing these things aren't doing them for a new kick...the> adults who are abusing aren't doing it just to have something to do.> There's a reason...maybe more than one...and it's not all personal> responsibility. There's taking it, for sure...but you still have to find> and go to the root cause or your wasting your time. I'm not saying that> we blame the parents, and the schools, and whatever else comes up. There> may need to be things addressed there, but that's not the root causes.> > They will soon be killing the little man in Florida that molested and> buried the little girl there. Getting what he deserves right? Is he?> I've already told you what I would have done back then...killing> wouldn't have been good enough. What of the parents? You know their> hearts are ripped out at the core...the father went on to get a law> passed and spoke before congress, yet, how did he sit there in some> bogus court room and let others attend to this? Why wasn't he over those> chairs? There's a lot of questions.> > Then you have the boys spoke of in the other post. Now they will be free> under new names to live their lives. While parents remain grief stricken> for the rest of theirs. The boys have committed the unpardonable sin?> Correct? The very fact they are still breathing is enough. Right? What> will they do now? et me tell you what might happen. The pressure, as> they mature will become to great to bare, and most likely, they will> become drunks, drug addicts, perhaps hurt a few others because of this> rage within, and sooner or later, kill themselves, if someone doesn't do> it for them.> > Unless of course, they try to bypass that thinking, and want to find the> deeper cause...the root of how and why they did it to begin with. They> will never be free of the grief, or self hatred for the thing. Many will> say they have none, and that they are unable to feel. But let me ask you> this? Even on your worst day, your darkest hour, your angriest moment,> in your bitterest grief...what are you doing? Everyone feels...either> pain, or pleasure...there is no in between. There may be a mix of one> and the other but there is no in between. What do you do with feelings?> To move passed what you believe is painful, you might be willing to do> anything...even if it would bring more pain.> > Let say I take over the world.....just suppose. What happens next? I> take down the corporate structure and do away with the b/s corporate> statues, the law. It serves no purpose whatsoever. Now what? Do things> change overnight now that everything is free...the people are free to> live their lives the way they see fit. No! I think that many things may> need to be done so that other things could be undone first. You wouldn't> need police of course. present day police are nothing short of corporate> security, protecting the property of the corporation, that would be you> too by the way. it is "law enforcement" ...you are secondary.> > Do you remember "peace officers"? They were there to "keep the peace".> To help. They weren't there to arrest and harass you. They were like the> "parent figure", or older sibling, to make sure no harm came to you,> otherwise, they were not really there.> > You see, in a newer world, people wouldn't change overnight... a lot> would, yet, some would still do as they have always done, what they have> learned to do. Root causes didn't just go away. This is where what is> required is "loving understanding" . When you go to the hospital for> something like cancer...does the doctor go to slapping you all over the> place, letting you know what a piece of chit you are for having arrived> in this condition? Well???? Would it be closer to the truth that they> will run whatever test they need to, and look for....what? ???? A ROOT> CAUSE, while addressing the immediate concerns.> > This is how the rest of the world would be. There's a lot of issues> needing addressed... and burying them in the graveyard or the prison> system won't ever change it....ever.> > For those who may have suffered abuse at the hands of a husband, wife,> relative, parents, etc...when ever did threats and deterrents work?> When? If anything, it fueled anger and hatred within...it feed fear. It> did nothing else.> > Somewhere in my childhood, I learned to respect people, elders, even the> "law", although I took issue with anything that smelled of authority.> That to me equaled the license to inflict harm..."respect" ,> yes..."like" , hell no.> > But it kelp me from going across some imaginary line. Somehow, that line> has been moved for some, those who do some of these things. That "stuff"> inside comes spilling out into the lives of others. If you go with the> thought that they choose to be here for that, to bring attention to> things for the rest of us, then by God, we need to get the messages> don't you think?> > Well, this is not my problem, my issue, doesn't affect me, outside of my> sphere of existence... .NO IT'S NOT. IF it comes to YOUR ATTENTION, it> comes to BE HEALED.> > But how? That is the question, isn't it? How do I help? What can I do?> You can LOVE. It is what changes everything.. ..EVERYTHING. I don't know> all the right answers, but I do know that if I send love directly into> it, I have done the most powerful thing I can RIGHT NOW.> > I don't know what to say about the boys being set free to live their> lives...seemingly free from what they have been a part of...but I do> know I can choose to send them love, and to their entire situation, that> the loving, right things will come out of it. And, right now, that's all> I can do about it, unless of course, I want to revisit my swamp with the> issue and become angry...and feed the collective, which in turn feeds> more of it, somewhere.> > And I can send love to the little boys family, to the parents, and into> their hearts. I have nothing but compassion for them...I feel and can> only imagine...and I am filled with extreme empathy and have to leave> that connection, else it consume me.> > I must put love into it at the fullest measure I am capable of...the> universe has it's own plan at work here...I empower it with love.> > Here it is, this new changing world...are you truly aware of it's> meaning? We are "becoming one"...to become one on love and compassion.> This is complete healing. Would we leave some part of us to rot away,> cut off, unloved, and still expect to be whole? That's> impossible.. ..THAT's IMPOSSIBLE! We have to come to a place where we> love every part pf ourselves. And if there is a part that ails us, we> must administer love...we must find the root causes and change it...love> it.> > We're not there yet, but, we are trying....we are, right?> > > > > > > With Love,> D~> Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and hotels with FareChase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2007 Report Share Posted September 1, 2007 Thank you Rhonda. I havn't figured out yet why people are so evil. But I feel very supported by this group of people who seem so balanced. Those people aren't traveling the same path as we are. Maybe there next go around they will learn something. Metta, Carole > > > > I'm making this a new thread and it may get deeper than any here > wish it > > would go. I've had it on my mind for a few days now and it has > worked > > it's way to the need to try to write it out. Some may not want to > hear > > it; some may take issue with at least some of it. Yet, I think it's > > something that has to be brought up. What comes to mind, comes to > be > > healed, or, maybe to point the way towards it. > > > > This was after the post about the 10 year olds who harmed the other > > child. It brought to mind, many of the other crimes related to > children, > > that have come out over the years, and I break down. I take issue > with > > anything that involves a child, and you could say, if there's a > deep > > dark part of me, it must relate to such a thing. > > > > I don't know about you, but first, when I was a kid, you learned > certain > > things, usually...regardles s of how you learned it...and that was > to be > > respectful, be polite, be human; to respect life and living. And > kids > > prior to that in years past learned it even more so. There were > lines > > you didn't cross. I'm not entirely clear on what happened since, > there > > are many factors. > > > > I hear so much crap about personal responsibility. Yes, we need to > take > > personal responsibility, but we also need to be aware of " root > causes " . > > Those should be the focus of energies, otherwise, the same > problems will > > continue to exist. A drinker should not drive after drinking. We > know > > this; the driver should have personally responsibility for their > selves > > and their actions, yet...in general, there is a deeper or root > > problem..a gene? family history? a medical condition? Whatever it > is, > > it's there and that must be addressed, or the same results will > always > > be the issue. > > > > Look, if I go find a snake infested swamp, and I decide I'm going > to > > destroy every snake I see, so I feel safe, secure, or whatever, > how does > > that make any sense? If that's what I'm addressing, then doesn't > it make > > more sense to go find the " den " , the " root " of where they come > from? If > > I go for this den, then, I have a greater possibility of " solving > the > > problem " for all time. There will still be snakes around, but as > they > > are addressed, the success I'm trying to achieve becomes greater, > does > > it not? Now, I apologize to snakes for using them in this example, > but I > > hope the point is becoming clear. > > > > I have a beautiful wonderful daughter, as well as a few other > kids. As > > an extreme thinker, and even no different than a lot of parents > would > > think, I've let my mind go, to follow thoughts all the way through > to > > potential conclusions. This is what thinking is...you follow a > line of > > thinking until you do not wish it to go further, decide against a > > possibility, and go with another line. This is how decisions are > made. > > Except, I sometimes follow them all, and then decide. It is better > to > > not do this. When you catch yourself where you don't want to be, > back > > out, and go with something else. After all, thoughts do begin > > creating...while you have the power, uncreate anything that doesn't > > follow with the best idea for you. And if need be simply > say " clear " . > > Clear that thought, that image or idea. We don't want to feed it. > > > > Now...I will say " clear " here and now before I explain this next > > thing...because I have followed the thinking, in grave detail. If > you > > have just eaten, you might wait to read it. I don't mention it now > to > > upset you... but to get to the next part, I must. > > > > Early on, when I would hear the stories of children being harmed, > my > > anger went through the roof. My anger coming online is not > something > > anyone would want to be near. If I had a wellspring of internal > power, > > fed by many past harms and hurts, that must be what fed it, > because let > > me tell you...there' s no power on earth that could go up against > it...or > > so the feeling goes. Many reading this know what I > mean...everything > > goes blank except what your feeling, and it may not even be > related to > > what's happening then. > > > > When this rage hit, over a newscast...somethin g I thought to be > > completely beyond me..it was someone else, not close to home, I'd > lose > > it. Ever blow a hole in your tv set? I would follow my thoughts > out. Had > > it been my child, not any power that exist would have prevented me > from > > what would be the effect. The SOB responsible would find them > selves > > tied to a tree in the middle of some swamp...kelp alive for 3 > days, all > > the while, trimming up, joint by joint...having them experience > what > > real pain and horror was, until nothing but a living torso and head > > remained to be left of the swamp to decide. > > > > Shaken? It took me some time, but that line of thinking shook me > too. I > > didn't like it. It was not the kinds of thoughts I wanted, yet, > every > > time I heard about these things, there it was, to be redefined even > > more, more detail, more substance... more hated. I knew there > wasn't a > > court, or judge or police on the planet I would have allowed to > pull > > their stupid b/s and get in my way, unless of course, they had > decided > > they were one and the same as the one I would be after, which they > would > > of been...get in my way.... " bye " . > > > > It took a little while to understand how thoughts could draw the > very > > things I was creating in my mind...perhaps, by putting the > thoughts out > > there, I was creating it " into the collective " . I might have been > > thinking it, and somewhere else, someone was acting on it, as if > it was > > their own thoughts, or feeding further what their thoughts may have > > been. > > > > As this began to dawn on me, I was using " clear " hot and > > heavily...because the thoughts would still come " for feeding " . And > the > > more I seemed to be feeding them, the more I seemed to see more > and more > > of this stuff. > > > > I began to shift my focus to questions of what people were doing > these > > things to children. Was it their own upbringings? If so, what would > > cause it to become all this now? I had anger for a lot of things, > but I > > could never see myself doing such a thing. This may have been > about the > > same time I spanked my daughter for about the first and last time. > I saw > > that look in her eyes as if I had let her down, that look killed > me. All > > of a sudden I saw much of my childhood. After all, didn't all the > kids > > of my era get their a**'s beat almost everyday too? We turned out > > alright didn't we? Didn't we? I don't think so. > > > > These kids doing these things aren't doing them for a new > kick...the > > adults who are abusing aren't doing it just to have something to > do. > > There's a reason...maybe more than one...and it's not all personal > > responsibility. There's taking it, for sure...but you still have > to find > > and go to the root cause or your wasting your time. I'm not saying > that > > we blame the parents, and the schools, and whatever else comes up. > There > > may need to be things addressed there, but that's not the root > causes. > > > > They will soon be killing the little man in Florida that molested > and > > buried the little girl there. Getting what he deserves right? Is > he? > > I've already told you what I would have done back then...killing > > wouldn't have been good enough. What of the parents? You know their > > hearts are ripped out at the core...the father went on to get a law > > passed and spoke before congress, yet, how did he sit there in some > > bogus court room and let others attend to this? Why wasn't he over > those > > chairs? There's a lot of questions. > > > > Then you have the boys spoke of in the other post. Now they will > be free > > under new names to live their lives. While parents remain grief > stricken > > for the rest of theirs. The boys have committed the unpardonable > sin? > > Correct? The very fact they are still breathing is enough. Right? > What > > will they do now? et me tell you what might happen. The pressure, > as > > they mature will become to great to bare, and most likely, they > will > > become drunks, drug addicts, perhaps hurt a few others because of > this > > rage within, and sooner or later, kill themselves, if someone > doesn't do > > it for them. > > > > Unless of course, they try to bypass that thinking, and want to > find the > > deeper cause...the root of how and why they did it to begin with. > They > > will never be free of the grief, or self hatred for the thing. > Many will > > say they have none, and that they are unable to feel. But let me > ask you > > this? Even on your worst day, your darkest hour, your angriest > moment, > > in your bitterest grief...what are you doing? Everyone > feels...either > > pain, or pleasure...there is no in between. There may be a mix of > one > > and the other but there is no in between. What do you do with > feelings? > > To move passed what you believe is painful, you might be willing > to do > > anything...even if it would bring more pain. > > > > Let say I take over the world.....just suppose. What happens next? > I > > take down the corporate structure and do away with the b/s > corporate > > statues, the law. It serves no purpose whatsoever. Now what? Do > things > > change overnight now that everything is free...the people are free > to > > live their lives the way they see fit. No! I think that many > things may > > need to be done so that other things could be undone first. You > wouldn't > > need police of course. present day police are nothing short of > corporate > > security, protecting the property of the corporation, that would > be you > > too by the way. it is " law enforcement " ...you are secondary. > > > > Do you remember " peace officers " ? They were there to " keep the > peace " . > > To help. They weren't there to arrest and harass you. They were > like the > > " parent figure " , or older sibling, to make sure no harm came to > you, > > otherwise, they were not really there. > > > > You see, in a newer world, people wouldn't change overnight... a lot > > would, yet, some would still do as they have always done, what > they have > > learned to do. Root causes didn't just go away. This is where what > is > > required is " loving understanding " . When you go to the hospital for > > something like cancer...does the doctor go to slapping you all > over the > > place, letting you know what a piece of chit you are for having > arrived > > in this condition? Well???? Would it be closer to the truth that > they > > will run whatever test they need to, and look for....what? ???? A > ROOT > > CAUSE, while addressing the immediate concerns. > > > > This is how the rest of the world would be. There's a lot of issues > > needing addressed... and burying them in the graveyard or the prison > > system won't ever change it....ever. > > > > For those who may have suffered abuse at the hands of a husband, > wife, > > relative, parents, etc...when ever did threats and deterrents work? > > When? If anything, it fueled anger and hatred within...it feed > fear. It > > did nothing else. > > > > Somewhere in my childhood, I learned to respect people, elders, > even the > > " law " , although I took issue with anything that smelled of > authority. > > That to me equaled the license to inflict harm... " respect " , > > yes... " like " , hell no. > > > > But it kelp me from going across some imaginary line. Somehow, > that line > > has been moved for some, those who do some of these things. > That " stuff " > > inside comes spilling out into the lives of others. If you go with > the > > thought that they choose to be here for that, to bring attention to > > things for the rest of us, then by God, we need to get the messages > > don't you think? > > > > Well, this is not my problem, my issue, doesn't affect me, outside > of my > > sphere of existence... .NO IT'S NOT. IF it comes to YOUR > ATTENTION, it > > comes to BE HEALED. > > > > But how? That is the question, isn't it? How do I help? What can I > do? > > You can LOVE. It is what changes everything.. ..EVERYTHING. I don't > know > > all the right answers, but I do know that if I send love directly > into > > it, I have done the most powerful thing I can RIGHT NOW. > > > > I don't know what to say about the boys being set free to live > their > > lives...seemingly free from what they have been a part of...but I > do > > know I can choose to send them love, and to their entire > situation, that > > the loving, right things will come out of it. And, right now, > that's all > > I can do about it, unless of course, I want to revisit my swamp > with the > > issue and become angry...and feed the collective, which in turn > feeds > > more of it, somewhere. > > > > And I can send love to the little boys family, to the parents, and > into > > their hearts. I have nothing but compassion for them...I feel and > can > > only imagine...and I am filled with extreme empathy and have to > leave > > that connection, else it consume me. > > > > I must put love into it at the fullest measure I am capable > of...the > > universe has it's own plan at work here...I empower it with love. > > > > Here it is, this new changing world...are you truly aware of it's > > meaning? We are " becoming one " ...to become one on love and > compassion. > > This is complete healing. Would we leave some part of us to rot > away, > > cut off, unloved, and still expect to be whole? That's > > impossible.. ..THAT's IMPOSSIBLE! We have to come to a place where > we > > love every part pf ourselves. And if there is a part that ails us, > we > > must administer love...we must find the root causes and change > it...love > > it. > > > > We're not there yet, but, we are trying....we are, right? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > With Love, > > D~ > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ _______________ > Luggage? GPS? Comic books? > Check out fitting gifts for grads at Search > http://search./search? fr=oni_on_mail & p=graduation+gifts & cs=bz > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2007 Report Share Posted September 1, 2007 My blessings and sorrow for you, dear Carole. How horrible to lose a child, there are no words to describe some feelings adequately, hm? *warm hug* May you be blessed, heal and be at peace, beloved one. Love ~Ali~Carole <cbrum2005@...> wrote: I'm one of those grief stricken parents you wrote about. My experience was so heinous it almost hurts to write about. My daughter was held down and beaten to death by three people. One of them was apprehended. He would not give up the names of the other two. My feelings when it first happened to my baby? Outrage, anger, and ok - feelings I'm not too proud of. But I have to live with my loss day after day. My daughter was one of the three lights of my life. I feel like I've come through a valley of darkness. But out of this valley, I've grown very spiritually. I still miss my daughter and grieve every day. It's not been quite two years yet. But nothing I can do will bring her back. And there is no punishment in this life that is going to change anything. Her killers have to answer to a higher power than me or the courts. I believe that our paths are decided for us or maybe by us. This was going to happen no matter how much I didn't want it too. I can't even express my grief in words, that's how deep it is. But out of the grief came my quest for spirituality. It's the only thing besides friends and family that gets me through. God Bless. Love and Light, Carole > > I'm making this a new thread and it may get deeper than any here wish it > would go. I've had it on my mind for a few days now and it has worked > it's way to the need to try to write it out. Some may not want to hear > it; some may take issue with at least some of it. Yet, I think it's > something that has to be brought up. What comes to mind, comes to be > healed, or, maybe to point the way towards it. > > This was after the post about the 10 year olds who harmed the other > child. It brought to mind, many of the other crimes related to children, > that have come out over the years, and I break down. I take issue with > anything that involves a child, and you could say, if there's a deep > dark part of me, it must relate to such a thing. > > I don't know about you, but first, when I was a kid, you learned certain > things, usually...regardless of how you learned it...and that was to be > respectful, be polite, be human; to respect life and living. And kids > prior to that in years past learned it even more so. There were lines > you didn't cross. I'm not entirely clear on what happened since, there > are many factors. > > I hear so much crap about personal responsibility. Yes, we need to take > personal responsibility, but we also need to be aware of "root causes". > Those should be the focus of energies, otherwise, the same problems will > continue to exist. A drinker should not drive after drinking. We know > this; the driver should have personally responsibility for their selves > and their actions, yet...in general, there is a deeper or root > problem..a gene? family history? a medical condition? Whatever it is, > it's there and that must be addressed, or the same results will always > be the issue. > > Look, if I go find a snake infested swamp, and I decide I'm going to > destroy every snake I see, so I feel safe, secure, or whatever, how does > that make any sense? If that's what I'm addressing, then doesn't it make > more sense to go find the "den", the "root" of where they come from? If > I go for this den, then, I have a greater possibility of "solving the > problem" for all time. There will still be snakes around, but as they > are addressed, the success I'm trying to achieve becomes greater, does > it not? Now, I apologize to snakes for using them in this example, but I > hope the point is becoming clear. > > I have a beautiful wonderful daughter, as well as a few other kids. As > an extreme thinker, and even no different than a lot of parents would > think, I've let my mind go, to follow thoughts all the way through to > potential conclusions. This is what thinking is...you follow a line of > thinking until you do not wish it to go further, decide against a > possibility, and go with another line. This is how decisions are made. > Except, I sometimes follow them all, and then decide. It is better to > not do this. When you catch yourself where you don't want to be, back > out, and go with something else. After all, thoughts do begin > creating...while you have the power, uncreate anything that doesn't > follow with the best idea for you. And if need be simply say "clear". > Clear that thought, that image or idea. We don't want to feed it. > > Now...I will say "clear" here and now before I explain this next > thing...because I have followed the thinking, in grave detail. If you > have just eaten, you might wait to read it. I don't mention it now to > upset you... but to get to the next part, I must. > > Early on, when I would hear the stories of children being harmed, my > anger went through the roof. My anger coming online is not something > anyone would want to be near. If I had a wellspring of internal power, > fed by many past harms and hurts, that must be what fed it, because let > me tell you...there's no power on earth that could go up against it...or > so the feeling goes. Many reading this know what I mean...everything > goes blank except what your feeling, and it may not even be related to > what's happening then. > > When this rage hit, over a newscast...something I thought to be > completely beyond me..it was someone else, not close to home, I'd lose > it. Ever blow a hole in your tv set? I would follow my thoughts out. Had > it been my child, not any power that exist would have prevented me from > what would be the effect. The SOB responsible would find them selves > tied to a tree in the middle of some swamp...kelp alive for 3 days, all > the while, trimming up, joint by joint...having them experience what > real pain and horror was, until nothing but a living torso and head > remained to be left of the swamp to decide. > > Shaken? It took me some time, but that line of thinking shook me too. I > didn't like it. It was not the kinds of thoughts I wanted, yet, every > time I heard about these things, there it was, to be redefined even > more, more detail, more substance...more hated. I knew there wasn't a > court, or judge or police on the planet I would have allowed to pull > their stupid b/s and get in my way, unless of course, they had decided > they were one and the same as the one I would be after, which they would > of been...get in my way...."bye". > > It took a little while to understand how thoughts could draw the very > things I was creating in my mind...perhaps, by putting the thoughts out > there, I was creating it "into the collective". I might have been > thinking it, and somewhere else, someone was acting on it, as if it was > their own thoughts, or feeding further what their thoughts may have > been. > > As this began to dawn on me, I was using "clear" hot and > heavily...because the thoughts would still come "for feeding". And the > more I seemed to be feeding them, the more I seemed to see more and more > of this stuff. > > I began to shift my focus to questions of what people were doing these > things to children. Was it their own upbringings? If so, what would > cause it to become all this now? I had anger for a lot of things, but I > could never see myself doing such a thing. This may have been about the > same time I spanked my daughter for about the first and last time. I saw > that look in her eyes as if I had let her down, that look killed me. All > of a sudden I saw much of my childhood. After all, didn't all the kids > of my era get their a**'s beat almost everyday too? We turned out > alright didn't we? Didn't we? I don't think so. > > These kids doing these things aren't doing them for a new kick...the > adults who are abusing aren't doing it just to have something to do. > There's a reason...maybe more than one...and it's not all personal > responsibility. There's taking it, for sure...but you still have to find > and go to the root cause or your wasting your time. I'm not saying that > we blame the parents, and the schools, and whatever else comes up. There > may need to be things addressed there, but that's not the root causes. > > They will soon be killing the little man in Florida that molested and > buried the little girl there. Getting what he deserves right? Is he? > I've already told you what I would have done back then...killing > wouldn't have been good enough. What of the parents? You know their > hearts are ripped out at the core...the father went on to get a law > passed and spoke before congress, yet, how did he sit there in some > bogus court room and let others attend to this? Why wasn't he over those > chairs? There's a lot of questions. > > Then you have the boys spoke of in the other post. Now they will be free > under new names to live their lives. While parents remain grief stricken > for the rest of theirs. The boys have committed the unpardonable sin? > Correct? The very fact they are still breathing is enough. Right? What > will they do now? et me tell you what might happen. The pressure, as > they mature will become to great to bare, and most likely, they will > become drunks, drug addicts, perhaps hurt a few others because of this > rage within, and sooner or later, kill themselves, if someone doesn't do > it for them. > > Unless of course, they try to bypass that thinking, and want to find the > deeper cause...the root of how and why they did it to begin with. They > will never be free of the grief, or self hatred for the thing. Many will > say they have none, and that they are unable to feel. But let me ask you > this? Even on your worst day, your darkest hour, your angriest moment, > in your bitterest grief...what are you doing? Everyone feels...either > pain, or pleasure...there is no in between. There may be a mix of one > and the other but there is no in between. What do you do with feelings? > To move passed what you believe is painful, you might be willing to do > anything...even if it would bring more pain. > > Let say I take over the world.....just suppose. What happens next? I > take down the corporate structure and do away with the b/s corporate > statues, the law. It serves no purpose whatsoever. Now what? Do things > change overnight now that everything is free...the people are free to > live their lives the way they see fit. No! I think that many things may > need to be done so that other things could be undone first. You wouldn't > need police of course. present day police are nothing short of corporate > security, protecting the property of the corporation, that would be you > too by the way. it is "law enforcement"...you are secondary. > > Do you remember "peace officers"? They were there to "keep the peace". > To help. They weren't there to arrest and harass you. They were like the > "parent figure", or older sibling, to make sure no harm came to you, > otherwise, they were not really there. > > You see, in a newer world, people wouldn't change overnight...a lot > would, yet, some would still do as they have always done, what they have > learned to do. Root causes didn't just go away. This is where what is > required is "loving understanding". When you go to the hospital for > something like cancer...does the doctor go to slapping you all over the > place, letting you know what a piece of chit you are for having arrived > in this condition? Well???? Would it be closer to the truth that they > will run whatever test they need to, and look for....what????? A ROOT > CAUSE, while addressing the immediate concerns. > > This is how the rest of the world would be. There's a lot of issues > needing addressed...and burying them in the graveyard or the prison > system won't ever change it....ever. > > For those who may have suffered abuse at the hands of a husband, wife, > relative, parents, etc...when ever did threats and deterrents work? > When? If anything, it fueled anger and hatred within...it feed fear. It > did nothing else. > > Somewhere in my childhood, I learned to respect people, elders, even the > "law", although I took issue with anything that smelled of authority. > That to me equaled the license to inflict harm..."respect", > yes..."like", hell no. > > But it kelp me from going across some imaginary line. Somehow, that line > has been moved for some, those who do some of these things. That "stuff" > inside comes spilling out into the lives of others. If you go with the > thought that they choose to be here for that, to bring attention to > things for the rest of us, then by God, we need to get the messages > don't you think? > > Well, this is not my problem, my issue, doesn't affect me, outside of my > sphere of existence....NO IT'S NOT. IF it comes to YOUR ATTENTION, it > comes to BE HEALED. > > But how? That is the question, isn't it? How do I help? What can I do? > You can LOVE. It is what changes everything....EVERYTHING. I don't know > all the right answers, but I do know that if I send love directly into > it, I have done the most powerful thing I can RIGHT NOW. > > I don't know what to say about the boys being set free to live their > lives...seemingly free from what they have been a part of...but I do > know I can choose to send them love, and to their entire situation, that > the loving, right things will come out of it. And, right now, that's all > I can do about it, unless of course, I want to revisit my swamp with the > issue and become angry...and feed the collective, which in turn feeds > more of it, somewhere. > > And I can send love to the little boys family, to the parents, and into > their hearts. I have nothing but compassion for them...I feel and can > only imagine...and I am filled with extreme empathy and have to leave > that connection, else it consume me. > > I must put love into it at the fullest measure I am capable of...the > universe has it's own plan at work here...I empower it with love. > > Here it is, this new changing world...are you truly aware of it's > meaning? We are "becoming one"...to become one on love and compassion. > This is complete healing. Would we leave some part of us to rot away, > cut off, unloved, and still expect to be whole? That's > impossible....THAT's IMPOSSIBLE! We have to come to a place where we > love every part pf ourselves. And if there is a part that ails us, we > must administer love...we must find the root causes and change it...love > it. > > We're not there yet, but, we are trying....we are, right? > > > > > > > With Love, > D~ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2007 Report Share Posted September 1, 2007 Thank you, Ali. I never thought I would be able to survive such a loss when I heard of other parents losing a child. She was such a wonderful young woman. I learned much from her own spirituality - her faith was much stronger than mine is now. But I'm surviving and growing, and I can thank my daughter (Christy) for my spiritual path I'm taking now. Love, Carole > > > > I'm making this a new thread and it may get deeper than any here > wish it > > would go. I've had it on my mind for a few days now and it has > worked > > it's way to the need to try to write it out. Some may not want to > hear > > it; some may take issue with at least some of it. Yet, I think it's > > something that has to be brought up. What comes to mind, comes to > be > > healed, or, maybe to point the way towards it. > > > > This was after the post about the 10 year olds who harmed the other > > child. It brought to mind, many of the other crimes related to > children, > > that have come out over the years, and I break down. I take issue > with > > anything that involves a child, and you could say, if there's a > deep > > dark part of me, it must relate to such a thing. > > > > I don't know about you, but first, when I was a kid, you learned > certain > > things, usually...regardless of how you learned it...and that was > to be > > respectful, be polite, be human; to respect life and living. And > kids > > prior to that in years past learned it even more so. There were > lines > > you didn't cross. I'm not entirely clear on what happened since, > there > > are many factors. > > > > I hear so much crap about personal responsibility. Yes, we need to > take > > personal responsibility, but we also need to be aware of " root > causes " . > > Those should be the focus of energies, otherwise, the same > problems will > > continue to exist. A drinker should not drive after drinking. We > know > > this; the driver should have personally responsibility for their > selves > > and their actions, yet...in general, there is a deeper or root > > problem..a gene? family history? a medical condition? Whatever it > is, > > it's there and that must be addressed, or the same results will > always > > be the issue. > > > > Look, if I go find a snake infested swamp, and I decide I'm going > to > > destroy every snake I see, so I feel safe, secure, or whatever, > how does > > that make any sense? If that's what I'm addressing, then doesn't > it make > > more sense to go find the " den " , the " root " of where they come > from? If > > I go for this den, then, I have a greater possibility of " solving > the > > problem " for all time. There will still be snakes around, but as > they > > are addressed, the success I'm trying to achieve becomes greater, > does > > it not? Now, I apologize to snakes for using them in this example, > but I > > hope the point is becoming clear. > > > > I have a beautiful wonderful daughter, as well as a few other > kids. As > > an extreme thinker, and even no different than a lot of parents > would > > think, I've let my mind go, to follow thoughts all the way through > to > > potential conclusions. This is what thinking is...you follow a > line of > > thinking until you do not wish it to go further, decide against a > > possibility, and go with another line. This is how decisions are > made. > > Except, I sometimes follow them all, and then decide. It is better > to > > not do this. When you catch yourself where you don't want to be, > back > > out, and go with something else. After all, thoughts do begin > > creating...while you have the power, uncreate anything that doesn't > > follow with the best idea for you. And if need be simply > say " clear " . > > Clear that thought, that image or idea. We don't want to feed it. > > > > Now...I will say " clear " here and now before I explain this next > > thing...because I have followed the thinking, in grave detail. If > you > > have just eaten, you might wait to read it. I don't mention it now > to > > upset you... but to get to the next part, I must. > > > > Early on, when I would hear the stories of children being harmed, > my > > anger went through the roof. My anger coming online is not > something > > anyone would want to be near. If I had a wellspring of internal > power, > > fed by many past harms and hurts, that must be what fed it, > because let > > me tell you...there's no power on earth that could go up against > it...or > > so the feeling goes. Many reading this know what I > mean...everything > > goes blank except what your feeling, and it may not even be > related to > > what's happening then. > > > > When this rage hit, over a newscast...something I thought to be > > completely beyond me..it was someone else, not close to home, I'd > lose > > it. Ever blow a hole in your tv set? I would follow my thoughts > out. Had > > it been my child, not any power that exist would have prevented me > from > > what would be the effect. The SOB responsible would find them > selves > > tied to a tree in the middle of some swamp...kelp alive for 3 > days, all > > the while, trimming up, joint by joint...having them experience > what > > real pain and horror was, until nothing but a living torso and head > > remained to be left of the swamp to decide. > > > > Shaken? It took me some time, but that line of thinking shook me > too. I > > didn't like it. It was not the kinds of thoughts I wanted, yet, > every > > time I heard about these things, there it was, to be redefined even > > more, more detail, more substance...more hated. I knew there > wasn't a > > court, or judge or police on the planet I would have allowed to > pull > > their stupid b/s and get in my way, unless of course, they had > decided > > they were one and the same as the one I would be after, which they > would > > of been...get in my way.... " bye " . > > > > It took a little while to understand how thoughts could draw the > very > > things I was creating in my mind...perhaps, by putting the > thoughts out > > there, I was creating it " into the collective " . I might have been > > thinking it, and somewhere else, someone was acting on it, as if > it was > > their own thoughts, or feeding further what their thoughts may have > > been. > > > > As this began to dawn on me, I was using " clear " hot and > > heavily...because the thoughts would still come " for feeding " . And > the > > more I seemed to be feeding them, the more I seemed to see more > and more > > of this stuff. > > > > I began to shift my focus to questions of what people were doing > these > > things to children. Was it their own upbringings? If so, what would > > cause it to become all this now? I had anger for a lot of things, > but I > > could never see myself doing such a thing. This may have been > about the > > same time I spanked my daughter for about the first and last time. > I saw > > that look in her eyes as if I had let her down, that look killed > me. All > > of a sudden I saw much of my childhood. After all, didn't all the > kids > > of my era get their a**'s beat almost everyday too? We turned out > > alright didn't we? Didn't we? I don't think so. > > > > These kids doing these things aren't doing them for a new > kick...the > > adults who are abusing aren't doing it just to have something to > do. > > There's a reason...maybe more than one...and it's not all personal > > responsibility. There's taking it, for sure...but you still have > to find > > and go to the root cause or your wasting your time. I'm not saying > that > > we blame the parents, and the schools, and whatever else comes up. > There > > may need to be things addressed there, but that's not the root > causes. > > > > They will soon be killing the little man in Florida that molested > and > > buried the little girl there. Getting what he deserves right? Is > he? > > I've already told you what I would have done back then...killing > > wouldn't have been good enough. What of the parents? You know their > > hearts are ripped out at the core...the father went on to get a law > > passed and spoke before congress, yet, how did he sit there in some > > bogus court room and let others attend to this? Why wasn't he over > those > > chairs? There's a lot of questions. > > > > Then you have the boys spoke of in the other post. Now they will > be free > > under new names to live their lives. While parents remain grief > stricken > > for the rest of theirs. The boys have committed the unpardonable > sin? > > Correct? The very fact they are still breathing is enough. Right? > What > > will they do now? et me tell you what might happen. The pressure, > as > > they mature will become to great to bare, and most likely, they > will > > become drunks, drug addicts, perhaps hurt a few others because of > this > > rage within, and sooner or later, kill themselves, if someone > doesn't do > > it for them. > > > > Unless of course, they try to bypass that thinking, and want to > find the > > deeper cause...the root of how and why they did it to begin with. > They > > will never be free of the grief, or self hatred for the thing. > Many will > > say they have none, and that they are unable to feel. But let me > ask you > > this? Even on your worst day, your darkest hour, your angriest > moment, > > in your bitterest grief...what are you doing? Everyone > feels...either > > pain, or pleasure...there is no in between. There may be a mix of > one > > and the other but there is no in between. What do you do with > feelings? > > To move passed what you believe is painful, you might be willing > to do > > anything...even if it would bring more pain. > > > > Let say I take over the world.....just suppose. What happens next? > I > > take down the corporate structure and do away with the b/s > corporate > > statues, the law. It serves no purpose whatsoever. Now what? Do > things > > change overnight now that everything is free...the people are free > to > > live their lives the way they see fit. No! I think that many > things may > > need to be done so that other things could be undone first. You > wouldn't > > need police of course. present day police are nothing short of > corporate > > security, protecting the property of the corporation, that would > be you > > too by the way. it is " law enforcement " ...you are secondary. > > > > Do you remember " peace officers " ? They were there to " keep the > peace " . > > To help. They weren't there to arrest and harass you. They were > like the > > " parent figure " , or older sibling, to make sure no harm came to > you, > > otherwise, they were not really there. > > > > You see, in a newer world, people wouldn't change overnight...a lot > > would, yet, some would still do as they have always done, what > they have > > learned to do. Root causes didn't just go away. This is where what > is > > required is " loving understanding " . When you go to the hospital for > > something like cancer...does the doctor go to slapping you all > over the > > place, letting you know what a piece of chit you are for having > arrived > > in this condition? Well???? Would it be closer to the truth that > they > > will run whatever test they need to, and look for....what????? A > ROOT > > CAUSE, while addressing the immediate concerns. > > > > This is how the rest of the world would be. There's a lot of issues > > needing addressed...and burying them in the graveyard or the prison > > system won't ever change it....ever. > > > > For those who may have suffered abuse at the hands of a husband, > wife, > > relative, parents, etc...when ever did threats and deterrents work? > > When? If anything, it fueled anger and hatred within...it feed > fear. It > > did nothing else. > > > > Somewhere in my childhood, I learned to respect people, elders, > even the > > " law " , although I took issue with anything that smelled of > authority. > > That to me equaled the license to inflict harm... " respect " , > > yes... " like " , hell no. > > > > But it kelp me from going across some imaginary line. Somehow, > that line > > has been moved for some, those who do some of these things. > That " stuff " > > inside comes spilling out into the lives of others. If you go with > the > > thought that they choose to be here for that, to bring attention to > > things for the rest of us, then by God, we need to get the messages > > don't you think? > > > > Well, this is not my problem, my issue, doesn't affect me, outside > of my > > sphere of existence....NO IT'S NOT. IF it comes to YOUR > ATTENTION, it > > comes to BE HEALED. > > > > But how? That is the question, isn't it? How do I help? What can I > do? > > You can LOVE. It is what changes everything....EVERYTHING. I don't > know > > all the right answers, but I do know that if I send love directly > into > > it, I have done the most powerful thing I can RIGHT NOW. > > > > I don't know what to say about the boys being set free to live > their > > lives...seemingly free from what they have been a part of...but I > do > > know I can choose to send them love, and to their entire > situation, that > > the loving, right things will come out of it. And, right now, > that's all > > I can do about it, unless of course, I want to revisit my swamp > with the > > issue and become angry...and feed the collective, which in turn > feeds > > more of it, somewhere. > > > > And I can send love to the little boys family, to the parents, and > into > > their hearts. I have nothing but compassion for them...I feel and > can > > only imagine...and I am filled with extreme empathy and have to > leave > > that connection, else it consume me. > > > > I must put love into it at the fullest measure I am capable > of...the > > universe has it's own plan at work here...I empower it with love. > > > > Here it is, this new changing world...are you truly aware of it's > > meaning? We are " becoming one " ...to become one on love and > compassion. > > This is complete healing. Would we leave some part of us to rot > away, > > cut off, unloved, and still expect to be whole? That's > > impossible....THAT's IMPOSSIBLE! We have to come to a place where > we > > love every part pf ourselves. And if there is a part that ails us, > we > > must administer love...we must find the root causes and change > it...love > > it. > > > > We're not there yet, but, we are trying....we are, right? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > With Love, > > D~ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2007 Report Share Posted September 1, 2007 Carole, Rhonda, and ....Carole, first I want to say something to you my love. I feel for you so deeply, and I know that would never bring your daughter back, or lessen your hurts, but it makes me love you all the more. I'm naturally pouring love out of my heart for you as I type this to help ease your incredible darkness and pain. Losing a child especially to murder is one of the hardest things a person could ever live through. I love you.....Rhonda, you are incredibly compassionate, and I can feel your sadness when you're aware of suffering in this world. Like I said before, you are a gift for caring so much. Love really is the only way around the human retribution in our hearts. And it's SO much more powerful than hate, anger and revenge. , I can feel your extreme pulls in your post. It's crackling off of my computer, and I think that's one of the reasons I wanted to reply so strongly. I understand every word you said, and have had experience with most of it myself. Although I've never put a hole in my t.v set, I've burst out into tears over things that are just not in my control. And I'm not much of a crier, unless I see or hear of these things happening to others. ESPECIALLY the children. I was also brought up with the whip, and was forced to watch my mother get beat almost on a nightly basis. I've been lied to most my life, raped as a child, and beaten. And when my family around me found out, they wanted to kill the person responsible. The only father I've ever known. They were like strangers when I looked into their eyes. They looked like him....When my mother died that's when the shit hit the fan. I was a 12 year old girl making plans to go back to my home state and kill my step father. The one responsible. I knew what pure hate and pain was. It would strangle the life out of me and leave me doubled over on the floor unable to breath or make a sound. I wanted him to feel what I was feeling, I wanted him to feel what my mother felt. Why shouldn't he get back what he delt? I wanted him to be raped, and beaten, and made to live with this guilt and shame. I wanted him to die.I tried to kill myself a few different times in different ways. And something always stopped me. That's when I started hearing the voices of my guides. I would ask a question like "Why me?" and they would answer with an incredibly loving, and wise answer. They would say "Because you needed to know". And having that validated I fell on the floor while all the anger drained from my body and I forgave my step father. Instantly I felt all the compression leave my chest, the anger fell away, and I lied there looking bewildered. Almost drunkenly relieved. I tried to understand him. I knew he was also hurt as a child and my compassion rushed in for him, to save my life. If that makes any sense. My point in telling this story is that when I see another get hurt I feel it like it's my own hurt. I KNOW what that pain is, and I know what that can do to a person. I know the process, and I know the confusion. I've made a promise to myself that I will NEVER lay a hand on another out of anger. NEVER. I made a promise that I will always understand the other person before hating them (resulting in never hating anyone). But sometimes I think about when I have children. I'm scared what I would do if someone were to ever hurt them. I'm scared that everything I built, and everything I am will crumble in this overwhelming grief that still haunts me when I read posts like this. But then I remind myself of what I learned that day at 12, and something switches back in my heart. I stand up tall, and realize that people like me, and people like you , are the reason why others should feel ashamed when they hurt another. We are the ones who stepped up, and said we were going to fight this darkness with a stronger weapon. Compassion and love. I can understand how someone could do horrible things to others, but that doesn't make it right, and it doesn't give another an excuse ever to hurt another living being just because they were also hurt. Sorry this is such a heavy reply, but healing is not all sunshine. I'm a 23 year old woman who practically raised myself out of a world of violence and hatred. I met a wonderful caring gentle man who cries with me, and holds me when I need it. There is no part of that past cycle I want stained on my hands. There's NO excuse in my eyes for another to hurt someone. I CHOOSE to take a road of rapid growth and love for others. I CHOOSE to help others to the best of my ability and capacity to understand. I CHOOSE to have good positive people in my life who love me. I've learned that compassion and love is so much more powerful than any of those hateful emotions I held in before. There is no stronger poison than negativity. So, yes , I believe we're trying....I love you all more than you know,Stefanie> >> > I'm making this a new thread and it may get deeper than any here > wish it> > would go. I've had it on my mind for a few days now and it has > worked> > it's way to the need to try to write it out. Some may not want to > hear> > it; some may take issue with at least some of it. Yet, I think it's> > something that has to be brought up. What comes to mind, comes to > be> > healed, or, maybe to point the way towards it.> > > > This was after the post about the 10 year olds who harmed the other> > child. It brought to mind, many of the other crimes related to > children,> > that have come out over the years, and I break down. I take issue > with> > anything that involves a child, and you could say, if there's a > deep> > dark part of me, it must relate to such a thing.> > > > I don't know about you, but first, when I was a kid, you learned > certain> > things, usually...regardles s of how you learned it...and that was > to be> > respectful, be polite, be human; to respect life and living. And > kids> > prior to that in years past learned it even more so. There were > lines> > you didn't cross. I'm not entirely clear on what happened since, > there> > are many factors.> > > > I hear so much crap about personal responsibility. Yes, we need to > take> > personal responsibility, but we also need to be aware of "root > causes".> > Those should be the focus of energies, otherwise, the same > problems will> > continue to exist. A drinker should not drive after drinking. We > know> > this; the driver should have personally responsibility for their > selves> > and their actions, yet...in general, there is a deeper or root> > problem..a gene? family history? a medical condition? Whatever it > is,> > it's there and that must be addressed, or the same results will > always> > be the issue.> > > > Look, if I go find a snake infested swamp, and I decide I'm going > to> > destroy every snake I see, so I feel safe, secure, or whatever, > how does> > that make any sense? If that's what I'm addressing, then doesn't > it make> > more sense to go find the "den", the "root" of where they come > from? If> > I go for this den, then, I have a greater possibility of "solving > the> > problem" for all time. There will still be snakes around, but as > they> > are addressed, the success I'm trying to achieve becomes greater, > does> > it not? Now, I apologize to snakes for using them in this example, > but I> > hope the point is becoming clear.> > > > I have a beautiful wonderful daughter, as well as a few other > kids. As> > an extreme thinker, and even no different than a lot of parents > would> > think, I've let my mind go, to follow thoughts all the way through > to> > potential conclusions. This is what thinking is...you follow a > line of> > thinking until you do not wish it to go further, decide against a> > possibility, and go with another line. This is how decisions are > made.> > Except, I sometimes follow them all, and then decide. It is better > to> > not do this. When you catch yourself where you don't want to be, > back> > out, and go with something else. After all, thoughts do begin> > creating...while you have the power, uncreate anything that doesn't> > follow with the best idea for you. And if need be simply > say "clear".> > Clear that thought, that image or idea. We don't want to feed it.> > > > Now...I will say "clear" here and now before I explain this next> > thing...because I have followed the thinking, in grave detail. If > you> > have just eaten, you might wait to read it. I don't mention it now > to> > upset you... but to get to the next part, I must.> > > > Early on, when I would hear the stories of children being harmed, > my> > anger went through the roof. My anger coming online is not > something> > anyone would want to be near. If I had a wellspring of internal > power,> > fed by many past harms and hurts, that must be what fed it, > because let> > me tell you...there' s no power on earth that could go up against > it...or> > so the feeling goes. Many reading this know what I > mean...everything> > goes blank except what your feeling, and it may not even be > related to> > what's happening then.> > > > When this rage hit, over a newscast...somethin g I thought to be> > completely beyond me..it was someone else, not close to home, I'd > lose> > it. Ever blow a hole in your tv set? I would follow my thoughts > out. Had> > it been my child, not any power that exist would have prevented me > from> > what would be the effect. The SOB responsible would find them > selves> > tied to a tree in the middle of some swamp...kelp alive for 3 > days, all> > the while, trimming up, joint by joint...having them experience > what> > real pain and horror was, until nothing but a living torso and head> > remained to be left of the swamp to decide.> > > > Shaken? It took me some time, but that line of thinking shook me > too. I> > didn't like it. It was not the kinds of thoughts I wanted, yet, > every> > time I heard about these things, there it was, to be redefined even> > more, more detail, more substance... more hated. I knew there > wasn't a> > court, or judge or police on the planet I would have allowed to > pull> > their stupid b/s and get in my way, unless of course, they had > decided> > they were one and the same as the one I would be after, which they > would> > of been...get in my way...."bye" .> > > > It took a little while to understand how thoughts could draw the > very> > things I was creating in my mind...perhaps, by putting the > thoughts out> > there, I was creating it "into the collective". I might have been> > thinking it, and somewhere else, someone was acting on it, as if > it was> > their own thoughts, or feeding further what their thoughts may have> > been.> > > > As this began to dawn on me, I was using "clear" hot and> > heavily...because the thoughts would still come "for feeding". And > the> > more I seemed to be feeding them, the more I seemed to see more > and more> > of this stuff.> > > > I began to shift my focus to questions of what people were doing > these> > things to children. Was it their own upbringings? If so, what would> > cause it to become all this now? I had anger for a lot of things, > but I> > could never see myself doing such a thing. This may have been > about the> > same time I spanked my daughter for about the first and last time. > I saw> > that look in her eyes as if I had let her down, that look killed > me. All> > of a sudden I saw much of my childhood. After all, didn't all the > kids> > of my era get their a**'s beat almost everyday too? We turned out> > alright didn't we? Didn't we? I don't think so.> > > > These kids doing these things aren't doing them for a new > kick...the> > adults who are abusing aren't doing it just to have something to > do.> > There's a reason...maybe more than one...and it's not all personal> > responsibility. There's taking it, for sure...but you still have > to find> > and go to the root cause or your wasting your time. I'm not saying > that> > we blame the parents, and the schools, and whatever else comes up. > There> > may need to be things addressed there, but that's not the root > causes.> > > > They will soon be killing the little man in Florida that molested > and> > buried the little girl there. Getting what he deserves right? Is > he?> > I've already told you what I would have done back then...killing> > wouldn't have been good enough. What of the parents? You know their> > hearts are ripped out at the core...the father went on to get a law> > passed and spoke before congress, yet, how did he sit there in some> > bogus court room and let others attend to this? Why wasn't he over > those> > chairs? There's a lot of questions.> > > > Then you have the boys spoke of in the other post. Now they will > be free> > under new names to live their lives. While parents remain grief > stricken> > for the rest of theirs. The boys have committed the unpardonable > sin?> > Correct? The very fact they are still breathing is enough. Right? > What> > will they do now? et me tell you what might happen. The pressure, > as> > they mature will become to great to bare, and most likely, they > will> > become drunks, drug addicts, perhaps hurt a few others because of > this> > rage within, and sooner or later, kill themselves, if someone > doesn't do> > it for them.> > > > Unless of course, they try to bypass that thinking, and want to > find the> > deeper cause...the root of how and why they did it to begin with. > They> > will never be free of the grief, or self hatred for the thing. > Many will> > say they have none, and that they are unable to feel. But let me > ask you> > this? Even on your worst day, your darkest hour, your angriest > moment,> > in your bitterest grief...what are you doing? Everyone > feels...either> > pain, or pleasure...there is no in between. There may be a mix of > one> > and the other but there is no in between. What do you do with > feelings?> > To move passed what you believe is painful, you might be willing > to do> > anything...even if it would bring more pain.> > > > Let say I take over the world.....just suppose. What happens next? > I> > take down the corporate structure and do away with the b/s > corporate> > statues, the law. It serves no purpose whatsoever. Now what? Do > things> > change overnight now that everything is free...the people are free > to> > live their lives the way they see fit. No! I think that many > things may> > need to be done so that other things could be undone first. You > wouldn't> > need police of course. present day police are nothing short of > corporate> > security, protecting the property of the corporation, that would > be you> > too by the way. it is "law enforcement" ...you are secondary.> > > > Do you remember "peace officers"? They were there to "keep the > peace".> > To help. They weren't there to arrest and harass you. They were > like the> > "parent figure", or older sibling, to make sure no harm came to > you,> > otherwise, they were not really there.> > > > You see, in a newer world, people wouldn't change overnight... a lot> > would, yet, some would still do as they have always done, what > they have> > learned to do. Root causes didn't just go away. This is where what > is> > required is "loving understanding" . When you go to the hospital for> > something like cancer...does the doctor go to slapping you all > over the> > place, letting you know what a piece of chit you are for having > arrived> > in this condition? Well???? Would it be closer to the truth that > they> > will run whatever test they need to, and look for....what? ???? A > ROOT> > CAUSE, while addressing the immediate concerns.> > > > This is how the rest of the world would be. There's a lot of issues> > needing addressed... and burying them in the graveyard or the prison> > system won't ever change it....ever.> > > > For those who may have suffered abuse at the hands of a husband, > wife,> > relative, parents, etc...when ever did threats and deterrents work?> > When? If anything, it fueled anger and hatred within...it feed > fear. It> > did nothing else.> > > > Somewhere in my childhood, I learned to respect people, elders, > even the> > "law", although I took issue with anything that smelled of > authority.> > That to me equaled the license to inflict harm..."respect" ,> > yes..."like" , hell no.> > > > But it kelp me from going across some imaginary line. Somehow, > that line> > has been moved for some, those who do some of these things. > That "stuff"> > inside comes spilling out into the lives of others. If you go with > the> > thought that they choose to be here for that, to bring attention to> > things for the rest of us, then by God, we need to get the messages> > don't you think?> > > > Well, this is not my problem, my issue, doesn't affect me, outside > of my> > sphere of existence... .NO IT'S NOT. IF it comes to YOUR > ATTENTION, it> > comes to BE HEALED.> > > > But how? That is the question, isn't it? How do I help? What can I > do?> > You can LOVE. It is what changes everything.. ..EVERYTHING. I don't > know> > all the right answers, but I do know that if I send love directly > into> > it, I have done the most powerful thing I can RIGHT NOW.> > > > I don't know what to say about the boys being set free to live > their> > lives...seemingly free from what they have been a part of...but I > do> > know I can choose to send them love, and to their entire > situation, that> > the loving, right things will come out of it. And, right now, > that's all> > I can do about it, unless of course, I want to revisit my swamp > with the> > issue and become angry...and feed the collective, which in turn > feeds> > more of it, somewhere.> > > > And I can send love to the little boys family, to the parents, and > into> > their hearts. I have nothing but compassion for them...I feel and > can> > only imagine...and I am filled with extreme empathy and have to > leave> > that connection, else it consume me.> > > > I must put love into it at the fullest measure I am capable > of...the> > universe has it's own plan at work here...I empower it with love.> > > > Here it is, this new changing world...are you truly aware of it's> > meaning? We are "becoming one"...to become one on love and > compassion.> > This is complete healing. Would we leave some part of us to rot > away,> > cut off, unloved, and still expect to be whole? That's> > impossible.. ..THAT's IMPOSSIBLE! We have to come to a place where > we> > love every part pf ourselves. And if there is a part that ails us, > we> > must administer love...we must find the root causes and change > it...love> > it.> > > > We're not there yet, but, we are trying....we are, right?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > With Love,> > D~> >> > > > > > ____________________________________________________________________________________> Luggage? GPS? Comic books? > Check out fitting gifts for grads at Search> http://search./search?fr=oni_on_mail & p=graduation+gifts & cs=bz> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2007 Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 , Thanks you. I can feel the love and support from this group. I'm sending you light and love as you continue on your path of healing. Your experience touched me very deeply. I'm a clinical social worker and I work with abused children. You are wrapped in ((((hugs))))). Love, Carole > > > > > > I'm making this a new thread and it may get deeper than any here > > wish it > > > would go. I've had it on my mind for a few days now and it has > > worked > > > it's way to the need to try to write it out. Some may not want to > > hear > > > it; some may take issue with at least some of it. Yet, I think it's > > > something that has to be brought up. What comes to mind, comes to > > be > > > healed, or, maybe to point the way towards it. > > > > > > This was after the post about the 10 year olds who harmed the other > > > child. It brought to mind, many of the other crimes related to > > children, > > > that have come out over the years, and I break down. I take issue > > with > > > anything that involves a child, and you could say, if there's a > > deep > > > dark part of me, it must relate to such a thing. > > > > > > I don't know about you, but first, when I was a kid, you learned > > certain > > > things, usually...regardles s of how you learned it...and that was > > to be > > > respectful, be polite, be human; to respect life and living. And > > kids > > > prior to that in years past learned it even more so. There were > > lines > > > you didn't cross. I'm not entirely clear on what happened since, > > there > > > are many factors. > > > > > > I hear so much crap about personal responsibility. Yes, we need to > > take > > > personal responsibility, but we also need to be aware of " root > > causes " . > > > Those should be the focus of energies, otherwise, the same > > problems will > > > continue to exist. A drinker should not drive after drinking. We > > know > > > this; the driver should have personally responsibility for their > > selves > > > and their actions, yet...in general, there is a deeper or root > > > problem..a gene? family history? a medical condition? Whatever it > > is, > > > it's there and that must be addressed, or the same results will > > always > > > be the issue. > > > > > > Look, if I go find a snake infested swamp, and I decide I'm going > > to > > > destroy every snake I see, so I feel safe, secure, or whatever, > > how does > > > that make any sense? If that's what I'm addressing, then doesn't > > it make > > > more sense to go find the " den " , the " root " of where they come > > from? If > > > I go for this den, then, I have a greater possibility of " solving > > the > > > problem " for all time. There will still be snakes around, but as > > they > > > are addressed, the success I'm trying to achieve becomes greater, > > does > > > it not? Now, I apologize to snakes for using them in this example, > > but I > > > hope the point is becoming clear. > > > > > > I have a beautiful wonderful daughter, as well as a few other > > kids. As > > > an extreme thinker, and even no different than a lot of parents > > would > > > think, I've let my mind go, to follow thoughts all the way through > > to > > > potential conclusions. This is what thinking is...you follow a > > line of > > > thinking until you do not wish it to go further, decide against a > > > possibility, and go with another line. This is how decisions are > > made. > > > Except, I sometimes follow them all, and then decide. It is better > > to > > > not do this. When you catch yourself where you don't want to be, > > back > > > out, and go with something else. After all, thoughts do begin > > > creating...while you have the power, uncreate anything that doesn't > > > follow with the best idea for you. And if need be simply > > say " clear " . > > > Clear that thought, that image or idea. We don't want to feed it. > > > > > > Now...I will say " clear " here and now before I explain this next > > > thing...because I have followed the thinking, in grave detail. If > > you > > > have just eaten, you might wait to read it. I don't mention it now > > to > > > upset you... but to get to the next part, I must. > > > > > > Early on, when I would hear the stories of children being harmed, > > my > > > anger went through the roof. My anger coming online is not > > something > > > anyone would want to be near. If I had a wellspring of internal > > power, > > > fed by many past harms and hurts, that must be what fed it, > > because let > > > me tell you...there' s no power on earth that could go up against > > it...or > > > so the feeling goes. Many reading this know what I > > mean...everything > > > goes blank except what your feeling, and it may not even be > > related to > > > what's happening then. > > > > > > When this rage hit, over a newscast...somethin g I thought to be > > > completely beyond me..it was someone else, not close to home, I'd > > lose > > > it. Ever blow a hole in your tv set? I would follow my thoughts > > out. Had > > > it been my child, not any power that exist would have prevented me > > from > > > what would be the effect. The SOB responsible would find them > > selves > > > tied to a tree in the middle of some swamp...kelp alive for 3 > > days, all > > > the while, trimming up, joint by joint...having them experience > > what > > > real pain and horror was, until nothing but a living torso and head > > > remained to be left of the swamp to decide. > > > > > > Shaken? It took me some time, but that line of thinking shook me > > too. I > > > didn't like it. It was not the kinds of thoughts I wanted, yet, > > every > > > time I heard about these things, there it was, to be redefined even > > > more, more detail, more substance... more hated. I knew there > > wasn't a > > > court, or judge or police on the planet I would have allowed to > > pull > > > their stupid b/s and get in my way, unless of course, they had > > decided > > > they were one and the same as the one I would be after, which they > > would > > > of been...get in my way.... " bye " . > > > > > > It took a little while to understand how thoughts could draw the > > very > > > things I was creating in my mind...perhaps, by putting the > > thoughts out > > > there, I was creating it " into the collective " . I might have been > > > thinking it, and somewhere else, someone was acting on it, as if > > it was > > > their own thoughts, or feeding further what their thoughts may have > > > been. > > > > > > As this began to dawn on me, I was using " clear " hot and > > > heavily...because the thoughts would still come " for feeding " . And > > the > > > more I seemed to be feeding them, the more I seemed to see more > > and more > > > of this stuff. > > > > > > I began to shift my focus to questions of what people were doing > > these > > > things to children. Was it their own upbringings? If so, what would > > > cause it to become all this now? I had anger for a lot of things, > > but I > > > could never see myself doing such a thing. This may have been > > about the > > > same time I spanked my daughter for about the first and last time. > > I saw > > > that look in her eyes as if I had let her down, that look killed > > me. All > > > of a sudden I saw much of my childhood. After all, didn't all the > > kids > > > of my era get their a**'s beat almost everyday too? We turned out > > > alright didn't we? Didn't we? I don't think so. > > > > > > These kids doing these things aren't doing them for a new > > kick...the > > > adults who are abusing aren't doing it just to have something to > > do. > > > There's a reason...maybe more than one...and it's not all personal > > > responsibility. There's taking it, for sure...but you still have > > to find > > > and go to the root cause or your wasting your time. I'm not saying > > that > > > we blame the parents, and the schools, and whatever else comes up. > > There > > > may need to be things addressed there, but that's not the root > > causes. > > > > > > They will soon be killing the little man in Florida that molested > > and > > > buried the little girl there. Getting what he deserves right? Is > > he? > > > I've already told you what I would have done back then...killing > > > wouldn't have been good enough. What of the parents? You know their > > > hearts are ripped out at the core...the father went on to get a law > > > passed and spoke before congress, yet, how did he sit there in some > > > bogus court room and let others attend to this? Why wasn't he over > > those > > > chairs? There's a lot of questions. > > > > > > Then you have the boys spoke of in the other post. Now they will > > be free > > > under new names to live their lives. While parents remain grief > > stricken > > > for the rest of theirs. The boys have committed the unpardonable > > sin? > > > Correct? The very fact they are still breathing is enough. Right? > > What > > > will they do now? et me tell you what might happen. The pressure, > > as > > > they mature will become to great to bare, and most likely, they > > will > > > become drunks, drug addicts, perhaps hurt a few others because of > > this > > > rage within, and sooner or later, kill themselves, if someone > > doesn't do > > > it for them. > > > > > > Unless of course, they try to bypass that thinking, and want to > > find the > > > deeper cause...the root of how and why they did it to begin with. > > They > > > will never be free of the grief, or self hatred for the thing. > > Many will > > > say they have none, and that they are unable to feel. But let me > > ask you > > > this? Even on your worst day, your darkest hour, your angriest > > moment, > > > in your bitterest grief...what are you doing? Everyone > > feels...either > > > pain, or pleasure...there is no in between. There may be a mix of > > one > > > and the other but there is no in between. What do you do with > > feelings? > > > To move passed what you believe is painful, you might be willing > > to do > > > anything...even if it would bring more pain. > > > > > > Let say I take over the world.....just suppose. What happens next? > > I > > > take down the corporate structure and do away with the b/s > > corporate > > > statues, the law. It serves no purpose whatsoever. Now what? Do > > things > > > change overnight now that everything is free...the people are free > > to > > > live their lives the way they see fit. No! I think that many > > things may > > > need to be done so that other things could be undone first. You > > wouldn't > > > need police of course. present day police are nothing short of > > corporate > > > security, protecting the property of the corporation, that would > > be you > > > too by the way. it is " law enforcement " ...you are secondary. > > > > > > Do you remember " peace officers " ? They were there to " keep the > > peace " . > > > To help. They weren't there to arrest and harass you. They were > > like the > > > " parent figure " , or older sibling, to make sure no harm came to > > you, > > > otherwise, they were not really there. > > > > > > You see, in a newer world, people wouldn't change overnight... a lot > > > would, yet, some would still do as they have always done, what > > they have > > > learned to do. Root causes didn't just go away. This is where what > > is > > > required is " loving understanding " . When you go to the hospital for > > > something like cancer...does the doctor go to slapping you all > > over the > > > place, letting you know what a piece of chit you are for having > > arrived > > > in this condition? Well???? Would it be closer to the truth that > > they > > > will run whatever test they need to, and look for....what? ???? A > > ROOT > > > CAUSE, while addressing the immediate concerns. > > > > > > This is how the rest of the world would be. There's a lot of issues > > > needing addressed... and burying them in the graveyard or the prison > > > system won't ever change it....ever. > > > > > > For those who may have suffered abuse at the hands of a husband, > > wife, > > > relative, parents, etc...when ever did threats and deterrents work? > > > When? If anything, it fueled anger and hatred within...it feed > > fear. It > > > did nothing else. > > > > > > Somewhere in my childhood, I learned to respect people, elders, > > even the > > > " law " , although I took issue with anything that smelled of > > authority. > > > That to me equaled the license to inflict harm... " respect " , > > > yes... " like " , hell no. > > > > > > But it kelp me from going across some imaginary line. Somehow, > > that line > > > has been moved for some, those who do some of these things. > > That " stuff " > > > inside comes spilling out into the lives of others. If you go with > > the > > > thought that they choose to be here for that, to bring attention to > > > things for the rest of us, then by God, we need to get the messages > > > don't you think? > > > > > > Well, this is not my problem, my issue, doesn't affect me, outside > > of my > > > sphere of existence... .NO IT'S NOT. IF it comes to YOUR > > ATTENTION, it > > > comes to BE HEALED. > > > > > > But how? That is the question, isn't it? How do I help? What can I > > do? > > > You can LOVE. It is what changes everything.. ..EVERYTHING. I don't > > know > > > all the right answers, but I do know that if I send love directly > > into > > > it, I have done the most powerful thing I can RIGHT NOW. > > > > > > I don't know what to say about the boys being set free to live > > their > > > lives...seemingly free from what they have been a part of...but I > > do > > > know I can choose to send them love, and to their entire > > situation, that > > > the loving, right things will come out of it. And, right now, > > that's all > > > I can do about it, unless of course, I want to revisit my swamp > > with the > > > issue and become angry...and feed the collective, which in turn > > feeds > > > more of it, somewhere. > > > > > > And I can send love to the little boys family, to the parents, and > > into > > > their hearts. I have nothing but compassion for them...I feel and > > can > > > only imagine...and I am filled with extreme empathy and have to > > leave > > > that connection, else it consume me. > > > > > > I must put love into it at the fullest measure I am capable > > of...the > > > universe has it's own plan at work here...I empower it with love. > > > > > > Here it is, this new changing world...are you truly aware of it's > > > meaning? We are " becoming one " ...to become one on love and > > compassion. > > > This is complete healing. Would we leave some part of us to rot > > away, > > > cut off, unloved, and still expect to be whole? That's > > > impossible.. ..THAT's IMPOSSIBLE! We have to come to a place where > > we > > > love every part pf ourselves. And if there is a part that ails us, > > we > > > must administer love...we must find the root causes and change > > it...love > > > it. > > > > > > We're not there yet, but, we are trying....we are, right? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > With Love, > > > D~ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ ___\ > ____________ > > Luggage? GPS? Comic books? > > Check out fitting gifts for grads at Search > > http://search./search? fr=oni_on_mail & p=graduation+gifts & cs=bz > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2007 Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Thank you for the hugs my love! And sending them right back to you...... Infinate love, and hugs Stefanie > > > >> > > > I'm making this a new thread and it may get deeper than any > here> > > wish it> > > > would go. I've had it on my mind for a few days now and it has> > > worked> > > > it's way to the need to try to write it out. Some may not want > to> > > hear> > > > it; some may take issue with at least some of it. Yet, I think > it's> > > > something that has to be brought up. What comes to mind, comes > to> > > be> > > > healed, or, maybe to point the way towards it.> > > >> > > > This was after the post about the 10 year olds who harmed the > other> > > > child. It brought to mind, many of the other crimes related to> > > children,> > > > that have come out over the years, and I break down. I take > issue> > > with> > > > anything that involves a child, and you could say, if there's a> > > deep> > > > dark part of me, it must relate to such a thing.> > > >> > > > I don't know about you, but first, when I was a kid, you > learned> > > certain> > > > things, usually...regardles s of how you learned it...and that > was> > > to be> > > > respectful, be polite, be human; to respect life and living. > And> > > kids> > > > prior to that in years past learned it even more so. There were> > > lines> > > > you didn't cross. I'm not entirely clear on what happened > since,> > > there> > > > are many factors.> > > >> > > > I hear so much crap about personal responsibility. Yes, we > need to> > > take> > > > personal responsibility, but we also need to be aware of "root> > > causes".> > > > Those should be the focus of energies, otherwise, the same> > > problems will> > > > continue to exist. A drinker should not drive after drinking. > We> > > know> > > > this; the driver should have personally responsibility for > their> > > selves> > > > and their actions, yet...in general, there is a deeper or root> > > > problem..a gene? family history? a medical condition? Whatever > it> > > is,> > > > it's there and that must be addressed, or the same results will> > > always> > > > be the issue.> > > >> > > > Look, if I go find a snake infested swamp, and I decide I'm > going> > > to> > > > destroy every snake I see, so I feel safe, secure, or whatever,> > > how does> > > > that make any sense? If that's what I'm addressing, then > doesn't> > > it make> > > > more sense to go find the "den", the "root" of where they come> > > from? If> > > > I go for this den, then, I have a greater possibility > of "solving> > > the> > > > problem" for all time. There will still be snakes around, but > as> > > they> > > > are addressed, the success I'm trying to achieve becomes > greater,> > > does> > > > it not? Now, I apologize to snakes for using them in this > example,> > > but I> > > > hope the point is becoming clear.> > > >> > > > I have a beautiful wonderful daughter, as well as a few other> > > kids. As> > > > an extreme thinker, and even no different than a lot of parents> > > would> > > > think, I've let my mind go, to follow thoughts all the way > through> > > to> > > > potential conclusions. This is what thinking is...you follow a> > > line of> > > > thinking until you do not wish it to go further, decide > against a> > > > possibility, and go with another line. This is how decisions > are> > > made.> > > > Except, I sometimes follow them all, and then decide. It is > better> > > to> > > > not do this. When you catch yourself where you don't want to > be,> > > back> > > > out, and go with something else. After all, thoughts do begin> > > > creating...while you have the power, uncreate anything that > doesn't> > > > follow with the best idea for you. And if need be simply> > > say "clear".> > > > Clear that thought, that image or idea. We don't want to feed > it.> > > >> > > > Now...I will say "clear" here and now before I explain this > next> > > > thing...because I have followed the thinking, in grave detail. > If> > > you> > > > have just eaten, you might wait to read it. I don't mention it > now> > > to> > > > upset you... but to get to the next part, I must.> > > >> > > > Early on, when I would hear the stories of children being > harmed,> > > my> > > > anger went through the roof. My anger coming online is not> > > something> > > > anyone would want to be near. If I had a wellspring of internal> > > power,> > > > fed by many past harms and hurts, that must be what fed it,> > > because let> > > > me tell you...there' s no power on earth that could go up > against> > > it...or> > > > so the feeling goes. Many reading this know what I> > > mean...everything> > > > goes blank except what your feeling, and it may not even be> > > related to> > > > what's happening then.> > > >> > > > When this rage hit, over a newscast...somethin g I thought to > be> > > > completely beyond me..it was someone else, not close to home, > I'd> > > lose> > > > it. Ever blow a hole in your tv set? I would follow my thoughts> > > out. Had> > > > it been my child, not any power that exist would have > prevented me> > > from> > > > what would be the effect. The SOB responsible would find them> > > selves> > > > tied to a tree in the middle of some swamp...kelp alive for 3> > > days, all> > > > the while, trimming up, joint by joint...having them experience> > > what> > > > real pain and horror was, until nothing but a living torso and > head> > > > remained to be left of the swamp to decide.> > > >> > > > Shaken? It took me some time, but that line of thinking shook > me> > > too. I> > > > didn't like it. It was not the kinds of thoughts I wanted, yet,> > > every> > > > time I heard about these things, there it was, to be redefined > even> > > > more, more detail, more substance... more hated. I knew there> > > wasn't a> > > > court, or judge or police on the planet I would have allowed to> > > pull> > > > their stupid b/s and get in my way, unless of course, they had> > > decided> > > > they were one and the same as the one I would be after, which > they> > > would> > > > of been...get in my way...."bye" .> > > >> > > > It took a little while to understand how thoughts could draw > the> > > very> > > > things I was creating in my mind...perhaps, by putting the> > > thoughts out> > > > there, I was creating it "into the collective". I might have > been> > > > thinking it, and somewhere else, someone was acting on it, as > if> > > it was> > > > their own thoughts, or feeding further what their thoughts may > have> > > > been.> > > >> > > > As this began to dawn on me, I was using "clear" hot and> > > > heavily...because the thoughts would still come "for feeding". > And> > > the> > > > more I seemed to be feeding them, the more I seemed to see more> > > and more> > > > of this stuff.> > > >> > > > I began to shift my focus to questions of what people were > doing> > > these> > > > things to children. Was it their own upbringings? If so, what > would> > > > cause it to become all this now? I had anger for a lot of > things,> > > but I> > > > could never see myself doing such a thing. This may have been> > > about the> > > > same time I spanked my daughter for about the first and last > time.> > > I saw> > > > that look in her eyes as if I had let her down, that look > killed> > > me. All> > > > of a sudden I saw much of my childhood. After all, didn't all > the> > > kids> > > > of my era get their a**'s beat almost everyday too? We turned > out> > > > alright didn't we? Didn't we? I don't think so.> > > >> > > > These kids doing these things aren't doing them for a new> > > kick...the> > > > adults who are abusing aren't doing it just to have something > to> > > do.> > > > There's a reason...maybe more than one...and it's not all > personal> > > > responsibility. There's taking it, for sure...but you still > have> > > to find> > > > and go to the root cause or your wasting your time. I'm not > saying> > > that> > > > we blame the parents, and the schools, and whatever else comes > up.> > > There> > > > may need to be things addressed there, but that's not the root> > > causes.> > > >> > > > They will soon be killing the little man in Florida that > molested> > > and> > > > buried the little girl there. Getting what he deserves right? > Is> > > he?> > > > I've already told you what I would have done back > then...killing> > > > wouldn't have been good enough. What of the parents? You know > their> > > > hearts are ripped out at the core...the father went on to get > a law> > > > passed and spoke before congress, yet, how did he sit there in > some> > > > bogus court room and let others attend to this? Why wasn't he > over> > > those> > > > chairs? There's a lot of questions.> > > >> > > > Then you have the boys spoke of in the other post. Now they > will> > > be free> > > > under new names to live their lives. While parents remain grief> > > stricken> > > > for the rest of theirs. The boys have committed the > unpardonable> > > sin?> > > > Correct? The very fact they are still breathing is enough. > Right?> > > What> > > > will they do now? et me tell you what might happen. The > pressure,> > > as> > > > they mature will become to great to bare, and most likely, they> > > will> > > > become drunks, drug addicts, perhaps hurt a few others because > of> > > this> > > > rage within, and sooner or later, kill themselves, if someone> > > doesn't do> > > > it for them.> > > >> > > > Unless of course, they try to bypass that thinking, and want to> > > find the> > > > deeper cause...the root of how and why they did it to begin > with.> > > They> > > > will never be free of the grief, or self hatred for the thing.> > > Many will> > > > say they have none, and that they are unable to feel. But let > me> > > ask you> > > > this? Even on your worst day, your darkest hour, your angriest> > > moment,> > > > in your bitterest grief...what are you doing? Everyone> > > feels...either> > > > pain, or pleasure...there is no in between. There may be a mix > of> > > one> > > > and the other but there is no in between. What do you do with> > > feelings?> > > > To move passed what you believe is painful, you might be > willing> > > to do> > > > anything...even if it would bring more pain.> > > >> > > > Let say I take over the world.....just suppose. What happens > next?> > > I> > > > take down the corporate structure and do away with the b/s> > > corporate> > > > statues, the law. It serves no purpose whatsoever. Now what? Do> > > things> > > > change overnight now that everything is free...the people are > free> > > to> > > > live their lives the way they see fit. No! I think that many> > > things may> > > > need to be done so that other things could be undone first. You> > > wouldn't> > > > need police of course. present day police are nothing short of> > > corporate> > > > security, protecting the property of the corporation, that > would> > > be you> > > > too by the way. it is "law enforcement" ...you are secondary.> > > >> > > > Do you remember "peace officers"? They were there to "keep the> > > peace".> > > > To help. They weren't there to arrest and harass you. They were> > > like the> > > > "parent figure", or older sibling, to make sure no harm came to> > > you,> > > > otherwise, they were not really there.> > > >> > > > You see, in a newer world, people wouldn't change overnight... > a lot> > > > would, yet, some would still do as they have always done, what> > > they have> > > > learned to do. Root causes didn't just go away. This is where > what> > > is> > > > required is "loving understanding" . When you go to the > hospital for> > > > something like cancer...does the doctor go to slapping you all> > > over the> > > > place, letting you know what a piece of chit you are for having> > > arrived> > > > in this condition? Well???? Would it be closer to the truth > that> > > they> > > > will run whatever test they need to, and look > for....what? ???? A> > > ROOT> > > > CAUSE, while addressing the immediate concerns.> > > >> > > > This is how the rest of the world would be. There's a lot of > issues> > > > needing addressed... and burying them in the graveyard or the > prison> > > > system won't ever change it....ever.> > > >> > > > For those who may have suffered abuse at the hands of a > husband,> > > wife,> > > > relative, parents, etc...when ever did threats and deterrents > work?> > > > When? If anything, it fueled anger and hatred within...it feed> > > fear. It> > > > did nothing else.> > > >> > > > Somewhere in my childhood, I learned to respect people, elders,> > > even the> > > > "law", although I took issue with anything that smelled of> > > authority.> > > > That to me equaled the license to inflict harm..."respect" ,> > > > yes..."like" , hell no.> > > >> > > > But it kelp me from going across some imaginary line. Somehow,> > > that line> > > > has been moved for some, those who do some of these things.> > > That "stuff"> > > > inside comes spilling out into the lives of others. If you go > with> > > the> > > > thought that they choose to be here for that, to bring > attention to> > > > things for the rest of us, then by God, we need to get the > messages> > > > don't you think?> > > >> > > > Well, this is not my problem, my issue, doesn't affect me, > outside> > > of my> > > > sphere of existence... .NO IT'S NOT. IF it comes to YOUR> > > ATTENTION, it> > > > comes to BE HEALED.> > > >> > > > But how? That is the question, isn't it? How do I help? What > can I> > > do?> > > > You can LOVE. It is what changes everything.. ..EVERYTHING. I > don't> > > know> > > > all the right answers, but I do know that if I send love > directly> > > into> > > > it, I have done the most powerful thing I can RIGHT NOW.> > > >> > > > I don't know what to say about the boys being set free to live> > > their> > > > lives...seemingly free from what they have been a part > of...but I> > > do> > > > know I can choose to send them love, and to their entire> > > situation, that> > > > the loving, right things will come out of it. And, right now,> > > that's all> > > > I can do about it, unless of course, I want to revisit my swamp> > > with the> > > > issue and become angry...and feed the collective, which in turn> > > feeds> > > > more of it, somewhere.> > > >> > > > And I can send love to the little boys family, to the parents, > and> > > into> > > > their hearts. I have nothing but compassion for them...I feel > and> > > can> > > > only imagine...and I am filled with extreme empathy and have to> > > leave> > > > that connection, else it consume me.> > > >> > > > I must put love into it at the fullest measure I am capable> > > of...the> > > > universe has it's own plan at work here...I empower it with > love.> > > >> > > > Here it is, this new changing world...are you truly aware of > it's> > > > meaning? We are "becoming one"...to become one on love and> > > compassion.> > > > This is complete healing. Would we leave some part of us to rot> > > away,> > > > cut off, unloved, and still expect to be whole? That's> > > > impossible.. ..THAT's IMPOSSIBLE! We have to come to a place > where> > > we> > > > love every part pf ourselves. And if there is a part that ails > us,> > > we> > > > must administer love...we must find the root causes and change> > > it...love> > > > it.> > > >> > > > We're not there yet, but, we are trying....we are, right?> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > > With Love,> > > > D~> > > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________> ___\> > ____________> > > Luggage? GPS? Comic books?> > > Check out fitting gifts for grads at Search> > > http://search./search?> fr=oni_on_mail & p=graduation+gifts & cs=bz> > >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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