Adult OCD/

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> Judy and anyone else with adult OCD,

> I'm sorry that I can't remember what you've written about your own

> disorder before, but I was wondering...how does your own OCD impact

> your child's attitude about his/hers?

I think it has been reassuring to my 11-yr. son to know that I also

struggled with OCD as a child, and that although it still affects me

as an adult, it's become much easier to fight it. As a child, I kept

my OCD a secret- the only thing I shared (with my Mom) was that I

constantly had the same sentence running through my head (for

years!), but she had no idea that it was OCD. I had no idea anyone

else struggled with what I did. I even confessed to a priest that I

was having " bad thoughts " . He asked how often, and I said " A LOT " -

and I was given lots of " Our Fathers " and " Hail s " to say to

absolve me of my " sin " . I didn't learn that it was OCD until I read

about it in a high school health class textbook, and I wasn't

officially diagnosed with it until age 28, when I was having extreme

anxiety postpartum. My biggest fear when I had my son was that he

would inherit my OCD, and sure enough, he did! He first showed signs

of it at age 4. But although I have reassured him over the years

that it is OCD and my brain works the same way, OCD is the doubting

disease so reassurance only helps so much! But I have to believe he

is better off than me because I didn't know what was going on with

me and didn't get any treatment. I have been taking Paxil for the

OCD since postpartum, as well as something to help me sleep- I don't

know how much difference the Paxil is really making, but I'm happy

so I keep taking it! I am a therapist and have worked in psychiatric

hospitals for the past 15 years, and I think my knowledge of

psychiatry and therapy has helped me and my son. But I think the

most important thing that has helped us is having a sense of humor

about life, and having a positive attitude, or pretending to have a

positive attitude! Some of the OCD thoughts my son shares with me

make me want to scream and run in circles, but I stay outwardly

calm, keep a smile plastered on my face and say, " No, that doesn't

mean anything- that's just OCD. "

Meredith

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