Re: Meeting Dr. K Story

[Guest guest]

Sonja, my way of thinking is you didn't do anything wrong. You definetely

did things right, so you have nothing to be ashamed of, and with your new bod

you have a lot to be proud of, so shout it girl. Let the world know that you

cared enough about yourself to do the best for you, and they can like it or

lump it. You have added no only years, but good years. Years that you will be

able to get up and go and do things. I know I was always attached to my CPAP

and oxygen machine. Had to have them. Now I don't. Had to have the electric

carts to shop. Now I don't. I always make sure that I stress that I did not

have

a gastric bypass though. That I have a stomach, and that is why I can eat so

well. I eat everything. I may not eat as much, but I can eat anything. Like

tonight, I had a chicken caesaer salad. For some reason, salads fill me up

way too fast. They don't satisfy me for long, but I wanted one, so I got it. I

ate half, the other half is waiting on me. I will get around to finishing it

later. I think you should tell your sister, share your experience with her.

Maybe you will be adding to her life also. That is if you want to keep her

around. I mean I don't know what your relationship is like. LOL But seriously,

you have only things to be proud of. Flaunt it. Tell the world you did it for

you. We always do for others. Sometimes we need to do for ourselves, and even

that is sometimes so we can do for others. I know in my case that is so. I

need to be able to take care of my handicapped daughter. I was seriously

diabetic and was afraid of losing my eyes. I have severe neuropathy due to the

diabetes and I will always have a lot of pain in my hands and feet because of

it. Now I no longer have a problem with the diabetes, though techically I am

still considered a diabetic. Just a very well controlled one. But I am not

worried about my eyes. I am better able to take care of my daughter now. So

taking care of myself made me better able to care for her. Make sense?

Pearl

**************Wondering what's for Dinner Tonight? Get new twists on family

favorites at AOL Food.

(http://food.aol.com/dinner-tonight?NCID=aolfod00030000000001)

[Guest guest]

Sonja, just a tag on to what Jo was saying. I thought of Star . She

kept telling every one differnt stories when in fact she had had WLS. Granted it

wasn't our kind, but still it was surgery that was responsible for her great

weight loss. Everyone knew, but she kept insisting that it was because of her

change in eating and exercising. FINALLY she told the truth. In the meantime

everyone came to think of her as a liar. She lost her job and a lot of

respect because she wouldn't tell the truth. Granted it isn't anyones business,

but when you start looking so good people are going to notice and they are

going to question. There is no reason not to tell the truth. Better to be

honest

from the start, or so I think.

Okay, my opinion again. Pearl

**************Wondering what's for Dinner Tonight? Get new twists on family

favorites at AOL Food.

(http://food.aol.com/dinner-tonight?NCID=aolfod00030000000001)

[Guest guest]

Sonja:

I personally made the decision early on that I wouldn't keep my

surgery a secret. Mainly because I figured if even one person knew,

they would tell someone, then someone would tell someone else and so

on... then in the end I would be " thinking " folks didn't know but

they really did and I would kinda look like a liar in their

eyes...just tooo complicated to try to figure out who knew and who

didn't. I knew a couple folks who had the RNY and they said

either " I had gallbladder surgery " or " Oh I'm just watching what I

eat " and EVERYBODY KNEW! So everybody talked about it behind their

backs instead of TO them. I would have loved to have said...Hey your

looking great, congrats! But because they were being secretive I

kept mum.

Ok...that is why I made my decision. But I totally respect the

decision to keep mum on the subject. I don't feel there is a right or

a wrong side. You don't OWE the world any explaination. The decision

to TALK about it is PERSONAL. Also different parts of the country

have different attitudes about the subject. As time goes on you may

make the decision to " come out " to an individual or to the

world...but don't greive over it now. It will either just happen or

it won't, so just Live your today.

Hugs

Jo

> BUT, so far no one knows about my surgery except one sister and my

kids.

> EVERYONE notices the change, of course, but I don't proclaim

the " why " to

> the world. I guess I feel it is personal medical information.

Someday I

> know, I need to begin to be as forthcoming as " C " was, so that

others with

> real motivation might also find Dr. K. I don't know when I'll get

there,

> though. I'm still working on it. I worry about the selfishness of

my stand

> on this, but then, I don't want to " defend " my GRDS decision, or be

> second-guessed (even though I've hopefully added some years to my

life). My

> other sister is suffering some from weight-related health issues

(she

> doesn't know about my GRDS). On the other hand, telling her is as

good as

> broadcasting it to the world. I'd be interested to know how others

feel

> about this.

>

>

>

> Anyway - that's my story.

>

>

>

> Sonja S.

[Guest guest]

Hi Sonja, I thought I'd add my own experience and opinion. I didn't

tell my kids about my decision until a few days before I left for

Delano. I had a friend from church who had Dr K and I had told a

secect few from church so they wouldn't worry about me not being at

church. I don't make a point to broadcast it but I don't lie if I'm

asked any questions and since I'm down a little over 80 lbs it's

showing alot and I'm really looking good and feeling great. I

haven't gotten any negative feedback, in fact it's all been pretty

possitive, I've also had the opportunity of sharing the GRDS vs other

WLS and I'm able to be helpful to others who want to learn about the

different WLS and which one is best and what it involves, sharing my

story with them has helped them and if I can help someone else gain a

healthier more productive life then that's a good thing, right? I'm

not ashamed of my grds and if I have to lie to hide it then it makes

me look bad, I had my GRDS to get healthy and hopfully change the

direction my health was headed to, since my surgery I've lost over 80

lbs, I don't have to take all the medication for my heart, my BP is

normal and my cholesterol is normal, my leg don't swell up and my

kidneys are functioning the way they should, my circulation problems

are gone, all I have left is the arthritis and fibro but it's not as

painful as it was before surgery. This surgery may be personal but

there's nothing to be shamed of and if someone asks you what you're

doing to look so good?....well honestly has always been my best

policy...besides you could help someone else which makes it even more

worth it.....ok, that all....like I said it's just my story and just

my opinion...good luck to you...Melody

- In DS_Friends_Keshishian , " Jo "

wrote:

>

> Sonja:

>

> I personally made the decision early on that I wouldn't keep my

> surgery a secret. Mainly because I figured if even one person

knew,

> they would tell someone, then someone would tell someone else and

so

> on... then in the end I would be " thinking " folks didn't know but

> they really did and I would kinda look like a liar in their

> eyes...just tooo complicated to try to figure out who knew and who

> didn't. I knew a couple folks who had the RNY and they said

> either " I had gallbladder surgery " or " Oh I'm just watching what I

> eat " and EVERYBODY KNEW! So everybody talked about it behind

their

> backs instead of TO them. I would have loved to have said...Hey

your

> looking great, congrats! But because they were being secretive I

> kept mum.

>

> Ok...that is why I made my decision. But I totally respect the

> decision to keep mum on the subject. I don't feel there is a right

or

> a wrong side. You don't OWE the world any explaination. The

decision

> to TALK about it is PERSONAL. Also different parts of the country

> have different attitudes about the subject. As time goes on you

may

> make the decision to " come out " to an individual or to the

> world...but don't greive over it now. It will either just happen

or

> it won't, so just Live your today.

>

> Hugs

> Jo

>

>

>

>

> > BUT, so far no one knows about my surgery except one sister and

my

> kids.

> > EVERYONE notices the change, of course, but I don't proclaim

> the " why " to

> > the world. I guess I feel it is personal medical information.

> Someday I

> > know, I need to begin to be as forthcoming as " C " was, so that

> others with

> > real motivation might also find Dr. K. I don't know when I'll

get

> there,

> > though. I'm still working on it. I worry about the selfishness

of

> my stand

> > on this, but then, I don't want to " defend " my GRDS decision, or

be

> > second-guessed (even though I've hopefully added some years to my

> life). My

> > other sister is suffering some from weight-related health issues

> (she

> > doesn't know about my GRDS). On the other hand, telling her is

as

> good as

> > broadcasting it to the world. I'd be interested to know how

others

> feel

> > about this.

> >

> >

> >

> > Anyway - that's my story.

> >

> >

> >

> > Sonja S.

>

[Guest guest]

Sonja,

Only my husband knew when I first had surgery. We did not tell family

until a few weeks later. Ihad to reschedule my original switch date as

Mom was dying. Then Dad was in no shape to hear his daughter who would

be helping out was undergoing the knife ! So we told him after the

fact. I think it is a very personal thing to decide who to tell and

who not to tell. When we told the MIL... we asked her not " to spread

the word " but sadly she has told more people than I care she tell as I

do not know who they are....so that was frustrating to me. But oh

well ! I do not go out of my way to tell my story, but if someone asks

I will tell all ! You will know when it is time to share.

I think part of it for me was I afraid I would not lose the weight.

But that is how I handled it.

Blessings

Ginger <><

[Guest guest]

It's definitely a very personal issue deciding whom to tell and whom

not to tell, whether it be family, friends or co-workers and there are

a multitude of different reasons and they can change with time, along

with your decision on whom to tell. I'd tell MO people in the

beginning, but I didn't always tell 'skinny' people, but then I

realized, they may also have an MO person in their family or a loved

one that's struggling with their weight. It just really depends...I

just consider it personal information, the same as whom I'm dating,

etc. I don't tell *all* my friends, family or co-workers whom I'm

dating, because it's not everyone's business, same with how I lost

weight, but I do tell some. It depends on your comfort level, etc.

When I told my Mom, I specifically told her not to go blabbing it

because I didn't want to be the current family item of gossip, etc

(ie, the 'Did you hear Uncle X's wife's cousin did 'x/y/z', when it's

not even someone you or they know!). Btw, just know that what you tell

people is something we on this list will respect, both on the list and

off. I have friends on Facebook, etc, but I don't put down, 'I know

this person through my weight loss surgery support group', because

it's not all my cousin's, co-workers, online friends, random

acquaintances business!

Btw, as a sidenote, while I was trying to sort out my insurance and

figure out how to tell both my brothers (who were like me before my

20's) and had never been more than average weight, my oldest brother

sat me down and asked if I had ever considered having weight loss

surgery, because he while he didn't care less if I got fatter or

skinnier, he wanted me healthier because he didn't want his little

sister to die before him. Needless to say, it made it extremely easy

at that point to tell him that I was already in the process of getting

approved and explain the DS to him. Sometimes you'd be surprised and

who understands.

Hope that Helps!

Anita in San (Formerly Denver)

11/08/08 DS

327lb ->178lbs

Size 26-> Size 14

>

> Sonja,

> Only my husband knew when I first had surgery. We did not tell family

> until a few weeks later. Ihad to reschedule my original switch date as

> Mom was dying. Then Dad was in no shape to hear his daughter who would

> be helping out was undergoing the knife ! So we told him after the

> fact. I think it is a very personal thing to decide who to tell and

> who not to tell. When we told the MIL... we asked her not " to spread

> the word " but sadly she has told more people than I care she tell as I

> do not know who they are....so that was frustrating to me. But oh

> well ! I do not go out of my way to tell my story, but if someone asks

> I will tell all ! You will know when it is time to share.

>

> I think part of it for me was I afraid I would not lose the weight.

> But that is how I handled it.

> Blessings

> Ginger <><

>