Re: Age of your child and Age of diagnosis

[Guest guest]

Hello

everyone! I’m new to the Board. My 13 y/o son, , was misdiagnosed

with ADHD at age 3. Every time we went back to his ADHD Dr., I explained to him that I thought there

was something more going on. had an aversion to loud noises, bright lights, needed

structure, wouldn’t make eye contact, etc… When he got old

enough to start reading on his own, we’d be driving down the road and

something would trigger a memory for him of something he’d read and he’d

say, “Momma, did you know the air speed velocity of a yellow-tailed

swallow is ‘yada, yada, yada’” When I asked my son, “where

did you read that?” he’d reply “’Such and such a book’

in ‘miss so-in-so’s class’”. I knew that if I’d

pull the book he’d read off the shelf, what said would be nearly verbatim from its pages. I told

his ADHD Dr. I thought it was autism. The Dr. said

he didn’t think that was the case, he’d grow out of it, and kept

upping his ADHD meds. My husband said I was just looking for something

else to be wrong. I wish I hadn’t listened to them and had followed

my own instincts!!! We treated with Adderall for 7 yrs.

In the fall of his 5th grade

year (when he was 10) began realizing he wasn’t like his

peers. He was having difficulties making and maintaining

relationships. He admitted to me that he had been thinking about committing

suicide. It was only then that the ADHD Dr. sent us to a child clinical psychologist

who had some experience working with kids on the spectrum that we got a

diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome. At that time, was taking nearly 115 mg. of Adderall a day (his hands

were beginning to shake).

I immediately started looking for a

pediatric neurologist to treat him. I know realize that the activities the

ADHD Dr. was interpreting as hyperactivity was stimming. If he hadn’t been on all that Adderall,

we probably would have gotten a diagnosis much sooner because the stimming

would have been more evident. is so extremely high-functioning, I can understand why it

was difficult for the average “revolving door” pediatrician to see

it. I should have pushed harder, screamed louder, and not taken “NO”

for an answer.

To Luke and ’s Mom, I’d

say: Do what you have to do to make it right for your son. Your

husband will either accept the diagnosis and “get on board” or he

won’t. You can’t let your child suffer while he’s in

denial. No one else is going to be able to advocate for like you

can. Please don’t make the same mistakes I did. I’m not

saying this will definitely happen (and I certainly pray that it doesn’t),

but you DO NOT want to one day hear your child’s plan to commit suicide!!!

Although it’s been 3 years and

is doing really well now, I am still haunted by the idea that I might leave him

alone at home for a bit to run next door to a neighbor’s or around the

corner to the store and come back home to find him…

Candy G. Knickerbocker

www.serfasd.org

www.mobasp.org

Age of your

child and Age of diagnosis

I'm just curious in

getting to know your situations. How old are your

children with Autism? At what age was he/she diagnosed?

My son just turned 10 years old and was just diagnosed about a month

ago.

Thanks.

[Guest guest]

Whew! Bonnie, sorry to get you all wound up. Reading my earlier

post, I see how it could do it though. I appreciate the time you took

to comment. I am accustomed to dealing with the severity of my 5-

year-old's autism and really, my 7-year-old has only a hint of non-

neurotypical characteristics. In fact, my time spent thinking about

this posting has made me realize that attention deficit is his real

issue and he's already seen a doctor about this. No one getting to

know him would think he has issues at all except for the

inattentiveness. He already has an IEP that includes speech and

occupational therapy services at school (without a particular

diagnosis) and is happy, social, well liked and gets good grades. We

will keep a close eye on his progress. All I really wanted to know

was if anyone else saw mild inklings like this in the siblings of

their ASD kids and how far they took it.

-D

>

> As the parent to two kids on the autism spectrum I can

> say that you are doing your child a disservice by

> placing the fathers emotions over the needs of your

> child.

>

> I am quite surprised at this message and did not read

> all the other posts since I thought it was just

> something about sharing stats and I was busy doing an

> online conference.

>

> By getting an assessment which may lead to a diagnosis

> you will give your child services and not sure what

> state you are in but help and guidance from

> professionals and assistance for your child with an

> IEP, etc.

>

> Is your husband abusive to you or the kids and that is

> why you cannot discuss this serious subject with him?

>

> This is 2008 and your child was brought into this

> world by you and it is you that is there to provide

> for the child not to caress your husbands ego.

>

> Do you need your husbands consent also for testing?

> Would yuor husband really stand in the way of services

> for your child? There are support groups online and

> in person for Dads and books. I suggest you buy a

> book for him to help him get a grip.

>

>

> My goodness I should not have opened this email

> because it put me in a bad mood.

>

> Bonnie Sayers

> http://autismspectrumdisorders.bellaonline.com

> ================

>

[Guest guest]

My ASD has a sibling that displays some signs, but I don't think he's

ASD. He is very socially outgoing, but does have mild symptoms:

Lines up his toys

Has sensory issues (auditory-ie vacuum, toilet, blender)

Inattentive

Fidgets/hyper

He copies some of his sisters ASD behaviors, but unlike her he can

control it. I think he may be ADHD, and possibly ODD or OCD, based

on what his sisters psych saw.

I put him on the wait list to be assessed by my daughters psych -

they are full until September. I contacted his SD last Wednesday,

but they have not responded.

> >

> > As the parent to two kids on the autism spectrum I can

> > say that you are doing your child a disservice by

> > placing the fathers emotions over the needs of your

> > child.

> >

> > I am quite surprised at this message and did not read

> > all the other posts since I thought it was just

> > something about sharing stats and I was busy doing an

> > online conference.

> >

> > By getting an assessment which may lead to a diagnosis

> > you will give your child services and not sure what

> > state you are in but help and guidance from

> > professionals and assistance for your child with an

> > IEP, etc.

> >

> > Is your husband abusive to you or the kids and that is

> > why you cannot discuss this serious subject with him?

> >

> > This is 2008 and your child was brought into this

> > world by you and it is you that is there to provide

> > for the child not to caress your husbands ego.

> >

> > Do you need your husbands consent also for testing?

> > Would yuor husband really stand in the way of services

> > for your child? There are support groups online and

> > in person for Dads and books. I suggest you buy a

> > book for him to help him get a grip.

> >

> >

> > My goodness I should not have opened this email

> > because it put me in a bad mood.

> >

> > Bonnie Sayers

> > http://autismspectrumdisorders.bellaonline.com

> > ================

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Well said . I agree with you and we are all here to support you.

Stacie B

Aurora IL

It pains me to read what Diane is saying, but I can relate to it. My son's diagnosis was the the straw that broke the camel's back in my marriage to his Dad. He had three grown children, from a previous marriage, which all graduated valedictorians in their school. The concept of a child, like , coming from his loins was inconceviable. Whenever the first pediatrician tried to convince me that 's behavior was just a "phase" and that I was an overreactive Mom, my husband accepted her decision. It was after I did my own research and finally got a doctor to support me, that finally convinced 's Dad that this was a real problem and not just a phase. I stayed in that marriage longer than most people would have. I believe 's diagnosis had a lot to do with his alcoholism too. He died over 10 years ago, due to the alcoholism. I remarried 6 years ago to a wonderful man who accepts . He even worked for a state school with kids like him. Diane probably feels like the little Dutch boy, trying to hold up the dam. She has my sympathy, because I was there where she is, but she DOES need to be the strong one in the marriage and get help for her son. If the husband is "dropping out" of the support system of the marriage, then he probably would have dropped out anyway if anything major upset him. Diane, get your child some help. Wear "blinders" and be pro-active. Your husband will either follow along or leave -- you have no control over that. This living "in limbo" will cause you more stress and nothing will be done to help your child. Autism is not for "wimps". It is a serious diagnosis, but knowledge and internal iniative will make you stronger for your child, so you can help him. You have my support that you will take this on. I wish you well. >> As the parent to two kids on the autism spectrum I can> say that you are doing your child a disservice by> placing the fathers emotions over the needs of your> child.> > I am quite surprised at this message and did not read> all the other posts since I thought it was just> something about sharing stats and I was busy doing an> online conference.> > By getting an assessment which may lead to a diagnosis> you will give your child services and not sure what> state you are in but help and guidance from> professionals and assistance for your child with an> IEP, etc.> > Is your husband abusive to you or the kids and that is> why you cannot discuss this serious subject with him?> > This is 2008 and your child was brought into this> world by you and it is you that is there to provide> for the child not to caress your husbands ego.> > Do you need your husbands consent also for testing? > Would yuor husband really stand in the way of services> for your child? There are support groups online and> in person for Dads and books. I suggest you buy a> book for him to help him get a grip.> > > My goodness I should not have opened this email> because it put me in a bad mood.> > Bonnie Sayers> http://autismspectrumdisorders.bellaonline.com> ================ > > Re: Age of your child and Age> > of diagnosis> > > > > > I have an older son (-2nd grader) who has had> > problems with > > fine and gross motor skills and he has attention> > problems. We put > > him on ritalin at the schools request/doctor' s ok> > to see if he would > > improve. The neighborhood kids always ask me why he> > doesn't listen > > to them. I think he has some autistic> > characteristics but my hubby > > probably will never go for actual testing for> > autism. The actual > > diagnosis of our middle son, Luke, (age 5 with> > moderate autism) was a > > major blow to him and he probably won't tolerate> > that kind of dx for > > another of his kids. I think definately has> > mild autism, > > aspergers or whatever. I don't know what difference> > it would make > > in his life to have a diagnosis and I don't feel> > that it is worth > > the struggle with his dad to make my feelings known.> > He has had > > speech and writing help at school and is doing well> > except needing > > something for attention. > > > > How important do you think it is in mild cases to> > have a diagnosis? > > Will it make a great difference in how he is dealt> > with by the school > > district? I don't want to have him miss out on> > services that would > > greatly benefit him, but I don't want him to be an> > outsider if he > > doesn't need to be.> > > > I probably shouldn't worry so much. I just wonder if> > he should be > > having additional help before bigger problems show> > up. Maybe nothing > > will come of it all.> > > > -Diane> > > >> Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch "Cooking with Tyler Florence" on AOL Food.

[Guest guest]

I will be 22 next month and was diagnosed at age 20 in March of 2007 and

then again last December. I can completely relate to what many of the Moms

on the list write about denial. In my case, I was myself the first to

recognize Asperger's/HFA traits in myself at age nearly 16 in 2002 (okay,

admittedly, I began searching the Internet after my father called me

autistic as an insult to discipline me). I'd thought of myself as having a

" delay in social-emotional development " before then at age 12, but hadn't

heard of autism/AS at that point. Within months of starting my Internet

search, I developed an obsession with ASDs that should almost be

self-explanatory, lasting till April, 2004.

My parents were in denial. I'd had too many psychological evaluations to

count already and all assessors listed some of the behaviors but didn't draw

the connection and waid that I was " young " socially and emotionally, and AS

wasn't what they were looking for anyway (I'm blind, and most were in the

blindness field). But the last evaluator, in 1999, had given my parents what

they wanted - a recommendation for mainstream education at a high level -,

and my parents weren't going to reconsider anything - probably for fear that

the special educators would come out to get me out of mainstream school.

Parents claimed that I was a hypochondriac and the only reason I was looking

for " something else " to be wrong was that I didn't want to accept the huge

impact my blindness supposedly has. They eventually convinced me of this and

I quit my ASD suspection for 2 1/2 years.

That was until late 2006, when the staff at an independent living training

home I lived in at the time, had me referred for evaluation cause *they*

suspected I had an ASD. This got me diagnosed the first time. The second

diagnosis was just cause my records were lost on a move. Meanwhile, up to my

second diagnosis, my parents claimed to everyone that I was just making it

up to avoid having to face the reality of blindness, or alternately that

I've been coerced into believing this by care workers wanting to keep me

dependent. I'm not sure what they think now, but the psychologist allegedly

said something like he'd " make up a label " , so my Mom can still believe that

he really didn't mean that I meet AS criteria (even though that is written

into his report).

Astrid

astrid@...

http://www.astridvanwoerkom.com/

Age of your child and Age of diagnosis

I'm just curious in getting to know your situations. How old are your

children with Autism? At what age was he/she diagnosed?

My son just turned 10 years old and was just diagnosed about a month

ago.

Thanks.

I'm protected by SpamBrave

http://www.spambrave.com/

[Guest guest]

Hello Astrid

you are an amazing young lady and you should be very proud of your self.

lesley hicks

Age of your child and Age of diagnosisI'm just curious in getting to know your situations. How old are yourchildren with Autism? At what age was he/she diagnosed?My son just turned 10 years old and was just diagnosed about a monthago..Thanks.I'm protected by SpamBravehttp://www.spambrav e.com/

Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email address.

[Guest guest]

Lindy, I have a 15 year old autistic grandson whose experience has been similar to your sons. We thought he was brilliant until he had his MMR shot; then he regressed. We did intense ABA therapy with him for years and he made great strides; Then he stepped on a nail and we had him given a tetanus shot not knowing that it had Themersol in it and he has regressed ever since. It is so sad. Pat K**************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch "Cooking with Tyler Florence" on AOL Food. (http://food.aol.com/tyler-florence?video=4 & ?NCID=aolfod00030000000002)

[Guest guest]

My son is 17 1/2 and is very severely disabled with "Autism." quickly plummeted into Autism within days of his 18 month vaccines, diagnosed at 22 months. His twin sister was thought to have Downs Syndrome at the time of his diagnosis, but she got through with sensory issues only. lost all speech within days of a tetanus shot at age 3 1/2. He has not talked since. (except on 3 occasions, at ages 5, 11 and 15...a total of 11 words in 14 years) looks like a typical 17 year old(in fact, very good looking)...but He has NO academic skills, lost what little self-help/personal care skills he had after years of work...after dental surgery in 2005. He also has developed severe OCD and prompt dependency along with Tourettes type tics.I watched him slip away once again after the dental surgery, as I had in 1992-93. He is slowly improving now with

Heilkunst. Lindy"Do not fear nor be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you ALWAYS!" 1:9 "The mighty oak was once a NUT that stood it's ground."Protect yourself from radiation and Bring your body back into balance... http://www.cellphoneguardian.com/cmd.php?af=731322

[Guest guest]

I have a 22 year old son also. Back then, they didn't diagnose autism the way they do now. Everyone thought of autism as one particular type and that was it. Even when the doctor told me that my six year had autism, I was in shock and disbelief, all I knew was the severe type of autism. I couldn't understand why he would even suggest it. But, now through research I understand and also believe that my 22 year old had numerous traits of autism. But, they just didn't look for it back then. So, I do understand why your parents did not embrace the idea.

With my six year old, we really did not want to believe it at all. But once we accepted it and the diagnosis was put in writing, doors opened for help. He is so much better off than he was just two years ago. Too bad it takes so much for us parents to swallow our pride and admit there is a problem and get the help that our children so desperately need to succeed.

Best wishes to you.

Age of your child and Age of diagnosisI'm just curious in getting to know your situations. How old are yourchildren with Autism? At what age was he/she diagnosed?My son just turned 10 years old and was just diagnosed about a monthago.Thanks.I'm protected by SpamBravehttp://www.spambrave.com/

[Guest guest]

My twelve-year-old niece was diagnosed at seven with autism, after a

string of misdiagnoses such as ADHD and ODD. Getting the diagnosis

made a huge difference in her life because she was finally able to

access specific services from her school system and her county. She

now attends regular education classes with the support of a part-time

mentor.

The diagnosis also made a huge difference for her mother, who was

able to research specific therapies and interventions she hadn't

previously been able to explore.

During the process of my niece's diagnosis, my sister began to

recognize certain characteristics in herself. The way she put it was

that she might as well have been describing her daughter's

difficulties not from observation but from memory. She talked to her

own therapist about it and eventually ended up being diagnosed

at thirty with Aspergers. For her, this meant she really hadn't

been " different " all her life; she had just been part of a group she

hadn't found yet. Both diagnoses were a huge relief for her and her

family.

-

[Guest guest]

I believe my oldest brother, turning 57 June 6th, actually has undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. I remember my mom saying that he suddenly "changed overnight" around age 5. His IQ was very high, but no socialization and he had strange behaviors. She took him to Psychologists and other "experts" but no one could figure out why he acted so strangely. Now as my son with Autism grows and is in his teens, I recognize alot of behaviors that I saw in my brother in the 60' s and 70's, although he can speak and my son cannot. My brother is now married and has had the same job almost his entire life as a material handler in a shelf manufacturing facility. I can say one thing...sometimes he has more common sense and a sense of fairness than anyone I know. He also has alot more money than I will ever have...LOL. He lives in another state and I have never talked to him about this, so I don't even know if he has a clue that he is on the spectrum...he did, however have his amalgam fillings

removed. Lindy"Do not fear nor be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you ALWAYS!" 1:9 "The mighty oak was once a NUT that stood it's ground."Protect yourself from radiation and Bring your body back into balance... http://www.cellphoneguardian.com/cmd.php?af=731322

[Guest guest]

Thanks for posting this! It gives me hope that my h/f son will someday live a normal life..... we keep thinking he will be a nuclear physist but will live in our basement : )Lindy wrote: I believe my oldest brother, turning 57 June 6th, actually has undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. I remember my mom saying that he suddenly "changed overnight" around age 5. His IQ was very high, but no socialization and he had strange behaviors. She took him to Psychologists and other "experts" but no one could figure out why he

acted so strangely. Now as my son with Autism grows and is in his teens, I recognize alot of behaviors that I saw in my brother in the 60' s and 70's, although he can speak and my son cannot. My brother is now married and has had the same job almost his entire life as a material handler in a shelf manufacturing facility. I can say one thing...sometimes he has more common sense and a sense of fairness than anyone I know. He also has alot more money than I will ever have...LOL. He lives in another state and I have never talked to him about this, so I don't even know if he has a clue that he is on the spectrum...he did, however have his amalgam fillings removed. Lindy"Do not fear nor be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you ALWAYS!" 1:9 "The mighty oak was once a NUT that stood it's ground."Protect yourself from radiation and Bring your body back into balance... http://www.cellphoneguardian.com/cmd.php?af=731322

[Guest guest]

I can identify with your daughter...through researching autism and searching for answers for my son, getting on lists for people on the spectrum and emailing people on the spectrum, I realized that I have most likely been living on the spectrum as well. This would explain why I have never liked being touched or touching other people, feel like I am trapped in a separate world and cannot figure out..."small talk." I have always felt "different" but could not figure out why...I would not wish this on any child...I felt very isolated ....realizing that I am most likely on the spectrum does not change me ...at 51...I suppose there can be no change, but we learn how to get through life in sometimes unconventional ways...it is not ALL bad. The good thing is that I feel that I understand my son more than anyone else. I understand not being able to figure out what people are saying...I cannot understand people when in a crowded or noisy place, no matter how loud they yell or

how close they are to me. Just today I was in my van behind him and his twin sister in her car, I said to him, turn around, ...he did, and smiled. There was no way he could have heard me with windows up...it was cool! I feel we have a connection as he also does with his twin... The internet has been a GODSEND to me...I can put my feelings and ideas into an email and send it on...not so in person. Lindy"Do not fear nor be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you ALWAYS!" 1:9 "The mighty oak was once a NUT that stood it's ground."Protect yourself from radiation and Bring your body back into balance... http://www.cellphoneguardian.com/cmd.php?af=731322