Totally jinxed myself

[Guest guest]

My DH and I were talking yesterday at lunch about our daughter. I made the comment that life is way better than it used to be and that we haven't really seen the temper tantrums like we used to see (she's 15). I should have known better! She gets home from school and asks if she can have some chips. I tell her no but that she can have a healthy snack. It starts to escalate to the point where she is really mad. She goes in to get a snack from the pantry. Here little brother is trying to be helpful and wants to help her find a snack. She gets a snack out and then hits/slams the drawer and breaks it. I had pull out shelves...not anymore. She tells me about it. I'm fairly calm but irritated. I tell her that since it was broken out of anger, she made the decision to loose her privileges for the rest of the night. This means no electronics of any sort (TV, cell phone, laptop...). Her obsession is watching and reading stories about Teen Titans. She completely freaks out...screaming, crying, stomping her feet...the only thing she didn't do was flop down on the floor. Anyway, the good thing was that we were on the way to the psychologist's office for her appointment. We get into the car and she is still screaming and crying. I calmly tell her that if she is going to continue to scream, I'm going to turn up the radio. I don't turn it up dangerously loud, just loud enough to hear it over the top of her. She is auditory defensive so she hates it but it is a good because it breaks her out of the moment. It sounds cruel but it really isn't. I always tell her that she is entitled to her feelings but that no one else has to suffer because of them. Anyway, she quieted right down. A few minutes later she has calmed down and the negotiations begin. She asks if she can read her stories on the laptop since reading is good. I tell her no and she starts up again. I turn the radio up two little notches and she quiets back down. She asks if she can work on writing her story on the laptop since her brother gets to play with his Leapster when he is grounded (it's educational). I didn't want to say no to that but I also didn't want to back down. I said that I'd think about it. I decided to ask the psychologist what she thought. My daughter hates writing normally but, thanks to her obsession, she is writing a rather long story (Ya!) and I want to encourage that. We get to the Dr office and I go in first and tell the psychologist everything that happened and how I responded. She totally agreed with what I did and how I handled it. She said that she agreed that letting work on her story was a good thing. I love this psychologist. She totally holds our daughter accountable for her actions. She understands the AS diagnosis but she also knows that we can't coddle her. If we do, she will never be ready to face the world as an adult. She spends the rest of the hour with my daughter explaining why she has to be held accountable and they talked about some techniques that she could use to prevent it from happening again. When she came out she looked really glum. I asked if she needed a hug and she grunted (she didn't want to need a hug but she did.). I hugged her and told her I loved her even when she was a brat (jokingly). She relaxed and smiled and the rest of the night was uneventful...well mostly.



Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you;

Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.