/Institutionalization (was: I need advice on meds)

[Guest guest]

,

I don't mean this to be disrespectful, but why in the world do you keep your

kid in that school when he's clearly deteroriating there? Is there any way

you could make them lower the pressure he's getting (I assume he gets an

IEP) or change school placement? Really, as someone who's been in a psych

institution for eight months, I can tell you, it is unlikely your son would

get actual treatment when there (especially if he's not in a place where

they are knowledgeable about autism) and they'll just " manage " him for a

while then hand him back to you because he's " stable " , then the whole thing

will start all over again. I understand that you don't want a dangerous

child in your home, so I can see how you would be wanting to have him

hospitalized, but even a long-term hospitalization, if not done in the right

setting, is not going to solve anything. So I would recommend you push for

changes in his current life with the school district - perhaps you can get

his home therapist to back you up. In the meantime, while you're trying to

get him stabilized when in your home, seek to get him on a good hospital's

waiting list (where they are knowledgeable about autism) should he end up

needing institutionalization anyway. You won't want your child put away

behind locked doors with no prospect of getting out until he's changed but

no way they are working on changing his behavior. Okay I'm sorry that I

sound this bitter. This is just my experience with eight months of closed

ward hospitalization and being " managed " with measures that are only

possible on closed wards (time-out room in my case) then after I've been

" manageable " for a while being told that I'm stable and can move to an open

ward, not moving because of waiting lists, then getting out-of-control again

and being " managed " for another while. Without proper treatment, this is not

going to get me or your son anywhere. (okay, our situations are different

since I don't get violent, but the principle is the same)

Astrid

astrid@...

http://www.astridvanwoerkom.com/

Re: I need advice on meds

> Stacey,

> Your list of meds was practically identical to what I've tried with my 11

> year old. Believe me, when your son holds a knife to your throat and says

> he's going to kill you, you'll try any medication there is. Now that

> school is out my boy is doing well because he has no pressures. A month

> ago he was still threatening to kill people and it didn't matter if it was

> a kid or an adult, he fights. He's been on the psych unit 3 times but

> basically that just gives me a couple of days feeling safe. He has also

> been arrested for domestic violence against me when he was 10. He was

> totally out of control. If he gets violent like that again, out he goes.

> I've told him that he has a right to feel safe and protected in his home

> and so do I. I love him but if he kills me I won't be there to protect

> him. So, I just don't buy into this " I'll keep him home no matter what "

> feeling. I used to say the same thing but when you find yourself thinking

> about hiding the knives (which I did), it's ti

> me for your kid to live somewhere else for a while. My son just moved

> home after almost a year. I saw him all the time and stayed very involved

> but I had the chance to regroup and not have to spend every waking moment

> making decisions or dealing with his issues. Now (with a lot of therapy

> for both of us) we are stronger than ever. It won't last but I'll ride

> this wave as long as I can. My goal at this point is to give him other

> tools to use besides anger because as he's getting bigger and stronger,

> eventually he's going to kill someone. He's a pussycat lately as I've

> been using new expressions to help his self esteem. I just fear that lion

> inside who is going to make an appearance when my son starts middle school

> soon. That is going to be incredibly difficult for him and I fear he'll

> go after anyone because he doesn't have the social skills to understand

> what's going on (asperger's). He misinterprets everything and gets angry

> and violent. As they say, I'll cross that brid

> ge .... right now, we're calm.

> Judie

>

> -------------- Original message --------------

>

> I have an 11yr old son and I started seeing a change in his " behavior "

> right around age 8. I did the GFCF diet,supplements,took him to a

> child psych who for some reason felt that SSRI's would make things

> worse(yeah..hold that thought) Here's what happened

> ...Risperdal,Metadate,seraquel,abilify,adderal ER,buspirone

> (buspar).None of these helped.In our experience anti-psychotic drugs

> is where we saw more side effects and possibly making a bad situation

> worse. I strongly suggest looking at SSRI's first.Now I am at the same

> fork in the road again with my son.I get where you're coming from.My

> son has tremendous anxiety/panic episodes.

>

> He's injurous to himself(scratching himself till there;s blood) I know

> what you mean about the pinching,my arm is black/blue and he has scars

> from his SIB.He's also very strong,he's small frame but when he get's

> to that " Fight/flight " response..he can be uncontrollable. So,yes..it

> is a hard decision but it sounds like you have tried several things

> before arriving at this point and any good doctor would recommend you

> do so before even contemplating meds.It's something that once you

> start you have to commit to riding it out . Anxiety ,stress,aggressive

> behaviors are something you want to get on top of because they can

> snow ball into other issues.For some of us this is a very real

> situation..keeping our children with us and out of institutions .I'd

> rather my child be under a dr's care and under my roof than anywhere else.

>

> Do what you need to do to get your son healthy by making informed

> decisions.Know what your options are..read up on the meds..make a list

> of questions for your dr and most of all follow your instincts.

>

> Good luck to you and your family..

>

> Stacey

>

>

>> > > I am the mother of ....9 years old, nonverbal, very

>> > low

>> > > functioning in all areas. has become more and more

>> aggressive

>> > > over the past year. He is pinching hard and will occasionally

>> > punch

>> > > or throw things. His OCD behaviors have also escalated during

>> this

>> > > time. About a month ago he starting regressing in toileting

>> > > behaviors. We now have to put a pull-up on him when we leave the

>> > > house. (He started bedwetting at the same time.)

>> > >

>> > > Anyway, life at our house has become more and more unbearable.

>> > We've

>> > > never had him on any medication, because until last fall he had

>> a

>> > > happy disposition. So, I've scheduled the appointment for

>> > Wednesday

>> > > with the doctor to talk about our options. And I'd appreciate

>> any

>> > > advice about what you all have tried....what worked and what

>> > didn't.

>> > > Are there any big side effects I should know about.

>> > >

>> > > Thanks in advance for your help!

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> >

>>

>

>

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