Re: Not fitting the mold

[Guest guest]

You don’t have to apologize for not liking the article…that

is why I post some of these things…to start discussions.

But I read it differently..(someone on another list felt the

same way you do, and it surprised me, because I honestly didn’t read this

as a totally negative article…this is what I said on the other list:

Hmmm...didn't strike me that way at all. I read the

article as saying that the grandmother was advocating for her grandson,,asking

that people look beyond the diagnosis to the person that he is...she admits

that the stares bother her because she feels like people do not recognize his

worth, and she wants others to see him as the valued and loved person that he

is.

(end quote)

I didn’t like it that the sister gave her mom a

thumbs-up when she found out that the new baby wouldn’t have Ds, because I

don’t think that my kids would react that way, and I don’t

understand why the girl had that reaction..on the other hand, having a child

w/Ds isn’t always sweetness and light..maybe the sister was just thinking

of the challenges the baby would have if it did have Ds, and she was just

relieved for the baby’s sake that he/she would not have to deal with

those challenges? That doesn’t necessarily mean that she didn’t love

her sibling w/Ds, right?

What do you think??? Does any of that reasoning make sense, or

am I way off the mark?

KathyR

From:

DownSyndromeInfoExchange [mailto:DownSyndromeInfoExchange ]

On Behalf Of Sherry

Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 1:32 PM

To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange

Subject: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Not fitting the mold

I

am sorry but I didn't like that article at all. Doesn't sound like a

supportive family at all. I just don't see " the Down syndrome

mask " on my son...I often forget he even has Down syndrome. I didn't

like the attitude at all. YUCK!

Sherry

Mom to Evan(7), Olivia(6), and (9/7/2004)*

_._,___

[Guest guest]

Maybe it is just the choice of the words she uses that seam a bit

brazen to me. I do feel our children wear their disability on their

face...but I won't call it a mask...sounds like they are scary. I know

this is Grandma writing this with all the best intentions of the world

but maybe she is also a bit overprotective of her daughter too! The

thumbs up part didn't bother me as much but then again if this really

did happen...I don't know if I would be telling the world either. I

just don't see my older children now 6 1/2 and 7 1/2 giving the thuumbs

up. They don't see anything wrong with Nate! Sure there is some

jealousy at times but I think this is normal. However, their vocabulary

has increased and they are very thoughtful and loving children. Love

it when my son was putting Legos together and he said.. " this is so good

for my fine motor skills! "

I did get the advice from moms with older children who have Down

syndrome to not " dress my child in the uniform " . I guess the point not

to stand out. Well Nates personality is probably always going to stand

out...KWIM?

[Guest guest]

What's "the uniform" - let me guess, elastic waist pants and velcro sneakers?

Kathy

[DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: Not fitting the mold

Maybe it is just the choice of the words she uses that seam a bit brazen to me. I do feel our children wear their disability on their face...but I won't call it a mask...sounds like they are scary. I know this is Grandma writing this with all the best intentions of the world but maybe she is also a bit overprotective of her daughter too! The thumbs up part didn't bother me as much but then again if this really did happen...I don't know if I would be telling the world either. I just don't see my older children now 6 1/2 and 7 1/2 giving the thuumbs up. They don't see anything wrong with Nate! Sure there is some jealousy at times but I think this is normal. However, their vocabulary has increased and they are very thoughtful and loving children. Love it when my son was putting Legos together and he said.."this is so good for my fine motor skills!"I did get the advice from moms with older children who have Down syndrome to not "dress my child in the uniform". I guess the point not to stand out. Well Nates personality is probably always going to stand out...KWIM?

[Guest guest]

Good for us shoe tying seems to be getting obsolete! Faith has popular Sketchers sneakers and many styles are velcro. Others have elastic laces. Faith can tie laces but not tight enough to be functional. As for elastic waist we hope to have her able to button and zip by middle school, but elementary school the half elastic waist seems acceptable.

I'm very conscious of Faith's clothing, not just because of DS, but because I'm an old mom and not so up on fashion as many younger moms. I try to notice what other girls her age are wearing and how they wear their hair.

ette

mom to Faith (10)DS

--------- [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: Not fitting the mold

Maybe it is just the choice of the words she uses that seam a bit brazen to me. I do feel our children wear their disability on their face...but I won't call it a mask...sounds like they are scary. I know this is Grandma writing this with all the best intentions of the world but maybe she is also a bit overprotective of her daughter too! The thumbs up part didn't bother me as much but then again if this really did happen...I don't know if I would be telling the world either. I just don't see my older children now 6 1/2 and 7 1/2 giving the thuumbs up. They don't see anything wrong with Nate! Sure there is some jealousy at times but I think this is normal. However, their vocabulary has increased and they are very thoughtful and loving children. Love it when my son was putting Legos together and he said.."this is so good for my fine motor skills!"I did get the advice from moms with older children who have Down syndrome to

not "dress my child in the uniform". I guess the point not to stand out. Well Nates personality is probably always going to stand out...KWIM?

[Guest guest]

I'm an older mom too and my 20 year old daughter tells me if I dress my little girls in clothes "not so cool" looking! Some of the clothes that are handed down to me are not that cute and up to date, so my daughter goes thru them for me too and takes out what she would dress her little one in and we donate the rest.

[DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: Not fitting the mold

Maybe it is just the choice of the words she uses that seam a bit brazen to me. I do feel our children wear their disability on their face...but I won't call it a mask...sounds like they are scary. I know this is Grandma writing this with all the best intentions of the world but maybe she is also a bit overprotective of her daughter too! The thumbs up part didn't bother me as much but then again if this really did happen...I don't know if I would be telling the world either. I just don't see my older children now 6 1/2 and 7 1/2 giving the thuumbs up. They don't see anything wrong with Nate! Sure there is some jealousy at times but I think this is normal. However, their vocabulary has increased and they are very thoughtful and loving children. Love it when my son was putting Legos together and he said.."this is so good for my fine motor skills!"I did get the advice from moms with older children who have Down syndrome to not "dress my child in the uniform". I guess the point not to stand out. Well Nates personality is probably always going to stand out...KWIM?

[Guest guest]

My son is almost 27 and he still uses velcro shoes most of the time or pre-ties and slips them on. He can tie but it takes forever and it usually comes undone so he prefers the velcro in stylish gym shoes of course.pbeurrier@... wrote: Good for us shoe tying seems to be getting obsolete! Faith has popular Sketchers sneakers and many styles are velcro. Others have elastic laces. Faith can tie laces but not tight enough to be functional. As for elastic waist we hope to have her able to button and zip by middle school, but elementary school the half elastic waist seems acceptable.I'm very conscious of Faith's clothing, not just because of DS, but because I'm an old mom and not so up on fashion as many younger moms. I try to notice what other girls her age are wearing and how they wear their hair.ettemom to Faith

(10)DS--------- [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Re: Not fitting the moldMaybe it is just the choice of the words she uses that seam a bit brazen to me. I do feel our children wear their disability on their face...but I won't call it a mask...sounds like they are scary. I know this is Grandma writing this with all the best intentions of the world but maybe she is also a bit overprotective of her daughter too! The thumbs up part didn't bother me as much but then again if this really did happen...I don't know if I would be telling the world either. I just don't see my older children now 6 1/2 and 7 1/2 giving the

thuumbs up. They don't see anything wrong with Nate! Sure there is some jealousy at times but I think this is normal. However, their vocabulary has increased and they are very thoughtful and loving children. Love it when my son was putting Legos together and he said.."this is so good for my fine motor skills!"I did get the advice from moms with older children who have Down syndrome to not "dress my child in the uniform". I guess the point not to stand out. Well Nates personality is probably always going to stand out...KWIM?

[Guest guest]

Could someone repost the article or video we are discussing here?? I deleted it by mistake.

Sherry

[Guest guest]

I read it like you did too, KathyR, but near the end of the article, I wasn't sure what to think.

The part I didn't like was the part about the sister giving her mom a thumbs-up when the new baby wouldn't have DS. I know that the kids in my family wouldn't act that way . . . we've all said it'd be so nice to have another little one with DS in our family. Sure, the challenges they may face aren't fun, but my brother brings us so much joy and he's such a huge blessing to everyone .

Qadoshyah

Book ~ Down Syndrome: What You CAN Dowww.gotdownsyndrome.net/Book/whatyoucandobook.html

Got Down Syndrome?www.gotdownsyndrome.netBlog: http://gotdownsyndrome.blogspot.com

RE: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Not fitting the mold

You don’t have to apologize for not liking the article…that is why I post some of these things…to start discussions.

But I read it differently..(someone on another list felt the same way you do, and it surprised me, because I honestly didn’t read this as a totally negative article…this is what I said on the other list:

Hmmm...didn't strike me that way at all. I read the article as saying that the grandmother was advocating for her grandson,,asking that people look beyond the diagnosis to the person that he is...she admits that the stares bother her because she feels like people do not recognize his worth, and she wants others to see him as the valued and loved person that he is.

(end quote)

I didn’t like it that the sister gave her mom a thumbs-up when she found out that the new baby wouldn’t have Ds, because I don’t think that my kids would react that way, and I don’t understand why the girl had that reaction..on the other hand, having a child w/Ds isn’t always sweetness and light..maybe the sister was just thinking of the challenges the baby would have if it did have Ds, and she was just relieved for the baby’s sake that he/she would not have to deal with those challenges? That doesn’t necessarily mean that she didn’t love her sibling w/Ds, right?

What do you think??? Does any of that reasoning make sense, or am I way off the mark?

KathyR

From: DownSyndromeInfoExchange [mailto:DownSyndromeInfoExchange ] On Behalf Of Sherry Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 1:32 PMTo: DownSyndromeInfoExchange Subject: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] Not fitting the mold

I am sorry but I didn't like that article at all. Doesn't sound like a supportive family at all. I just don't see "the Down syndrome mask" on my son...I often forget he even has Down syndrome. I didn't like the attitude at all. YUCK!

Sherry

Mom to Evan(7), Olivia(6), and (9/7/2004)*

_._,___

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.21.3/1308 - Release Date: 3/3/2008 10:01 AM