Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Diane wrote: > ...I have had a really bad weekend... the garden that I had been > planning so energetically for month is not mine <snipped>... I got > all kinds of books out of the library and read as much as I could > about gardening. I even took notes! <snipped>.... > I'm upset because I am disappointed; because I wasted so much time > reading and planning and dreaming about the garden; You know, I see that as a positive Diane. Look back and you can see you had 4 months of being happy about your prospects of a garden. Be happy you enjoyed your time reading about plants, and all things nice about gardening. Four months of something good in your life. It made you happy didn't it. Yes. You want to be happy. You were happy. You just have to learn how to deal with disappointments. And that's a life journey i'm afraid. I'm sure you can adjust. If you have a window sill you can grow violets. Now violets are something people become passionate about. They really get you in. I used to violet sit for people who went on annual leave at work. I loved it. Everyday i'd look forward to see how they were forming to the shape I trained the leaves to stay in. And Bonsai! Try bonsai, i've just got a book from the library to refer to as i've offered to cut my Mums 100 year old pine that's only 3 foot high. ADAPT. And be bloody happy. :-) > because I feel betrayed that my uncle-in-law let me prattle on about > gardening for almost 4 months...<snipped>... Thinking about the garden > took my mind off my pain. Now what will I do? I say again. ADAPT. Sharon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Diane wrote: > ...I have had a really bad weekend... the garden that I had been > planning so energetically for month is not mine <snipped>... I got > all kinds of books out of the library and read as much as I could > about gardening. I even took notes! <snipped>.... > I'm upset because I am disappointed; because I wasted so much time > reading and planning and dreaming about the garden; You know, I see that as a positive Diane. Look back and you can see you had 4 months of being happy about your prospects of a garden. Be happy you enjoyed your time reading about plants, and all things nice about gardening. Four months of something good in your life. It made you happy didn't it. Yes. You want to be happy. You were happy. You just have to learn how to deal with disappointments. And that's a life journey i'm afraid. I'm sure you can adjust. If you have a window sill you can grow violets. Now violets are something people become passionate about. They really get you in. I used to violet sit for people who went on annual leave at work. I loved it. Everyday i'd look forward to see how they were forming to the shape I trained the leaves to stay in. And Bonsai! Try bonsai, i've just got a book from the library to refer to as i've offered to cut my Mums 100 year old pine that's only 3 foot high. ADAPT. And be bloody happy. :-) > because I feel betrayed that my uncle-in-law let me prattle on about > gardening for almost 4 months...<snipped>... Thinking about the garden > took my mind off my pain. Now what will I do? I say again. ADAPT. Sharon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Diane wrote: > ...I have had a really bad weekend... the garden that I had been > planning so energetically for month is not mine <snipped>... I got > all kinds of books out of the library and read as much as I could > about gardening. I even took notes! <snipped>.... > I'm upset because I am disappointed; because I wasted so much time > reading and planning and dreaming about the garden; You know, I see that as a positive Diane. Look back and you can see you had 4 months of being happy about your prospects of a garden. Be happy you enjoyed your time reading about plants, and all things nice about gardening. Four months of something good in your life. It made you happy didn't it. Yes. You want to be happy. You were happy. You just have to learn how to deal with disappointments. And that's a life journey i'm afraid. I'm sure you can adjust. If you have a window sill you can grow violets. Now violets are something people become passionate about. They really get you in. I used to violet sit for people who went on annual leave at work. I loved it. Everyday i'd look forward to see how they were forming to the shape I trained the leaves to stay in. And Bonsai! Try bonsai, i've just got a book from the library to refer to as i've offered to cut my Mums 100 year old pine that's only 3 foot high. ADAPT. And be bloody happy. :-) > because I feel betrayed that my uncle-in-law let me prattle on about > gardening for almost 4 months...<snipped>... Thinking about the garden > took my mind off my pain. Now what will I do? I say again. ADAPT. Sharon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Hi Di: As a fellow gardener myself (well, a kind of feeble gardener), I know you must feel a big disappointment about this, as I'm sure I would too. I think probably the reason your husband's uncle didn't say anything to you about your use of the space was because, in my experience, men are much more timid about having to tell folks any bad news that might be disappointing or make them angry. You also live in an area of the continent where I hear that it is very easy to grow lots of things that would literally fry here in the south during the summer. What was the original understanding regarding this front space? Is there anything in the rental agreement about it? What are his objections to someone putting some nice plants in there? I would think it would make the yard look more attractive, but that's just me. I know you did a lot of reading about gardening and this is something that you shouldn't have any negative feelings about because, no matter what, you have added to your base of knowledge which goes a long way in making you an interesting and fun conversationalist. Save those notes - I know there will be an occasion for you to use them. What about container gardening? Would the uncle be averse to your planting up some pots of things and arranging them attractively around the yard. Sometimes that looks just beautiful and adds a lot to the look of a property. I do more container planting now than ever since I'm hampered by pain and fatigue. Find out what your husband's uncle objects to and there may be a way to counter his objections. My aunt lives in a rental duplex that is owned by the lady next door - but my aunt is allowed to have a piece of the garden for her own gardening and it makes the whole place look wonderful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Hi Di: As a fellow gardener myself (well, a kind of feeble gardener), I know you must feel a big disappointment about this, as I'm sure I would too. I think probably the reason your husband's uncle didn't say anything to you about your use of the space was because, in my experience, men are much more timid about having to tell folks any bad news that might be disappointing or make them angry. You also live in an area of the continent where I hear that it is very easy to grow lots of things that would literally fry here in the south during the summer. What was the original understanding regarding this front space? Is there anything in the rental agreement about it? What are his objections to someone putting some nice plants in there? I would think it would make the yard look more attractive, but that's just me. I know you did a lot of reading about gardening and this is something that you shouldn't have any negative feelings about because, no matter what, you have added to your base of knowledge which goes a long way in making you an interesting and fun conversationalist. Save those notes - I know there will be an occasion for you to use them. What about container gardening? Would the uncle be averse to your planting up some pots of things and arranging them attractively around the yard. Sometimes that looks just beautiful and adds a lot to the look of a property. I do more container planting now than ever since I'm hampered by pain and fatigue. Find out what your husband's uncle objects to and there may be a way to counter his objections. My aunt lives in a rental duplex that is owned by the lady next door - but my aunt is allowed to have a piece of the garden for her own gardening and it makes the whole place look wonderful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Hi Di: As a fellow gardener myself (well, a kind of feeble gardener), I know you must feel a big disappointment about this, as I'm sure I would too. I think probably the reason your husband's uncle didn't say anything to you about your use of the space was because, in my experience, men are much more timid about having to tell folks any bad news that might be disappointing or make them angry. You also live in an area of the continent where I hear that it is very easy to grow lots of things that would literally fry here in the south during the summer. What was the original understanding regarding this front space? Is there anything in the rental agreement about it? What are his objections to someone putting some nice plants in there? I would think it would make the yard look more attractive, but that's just me. I know you did a lot of reading about gardening and this is something that you shouldn't have any negative feelings about because, no matter what, you have added to your base of knowledge which goes a long way in making you an interesting and fun conversationalist. Save those notes - I know there will be an occasion for you to use them. What about container gardening? Would the uncle be averse to your planting up some pots of things and arranging them attractively around the yard. Sometimes that looks just beautiful and adds a lot to the look of a property. I do more container planting now than ever since I'm hampered by pain and fatigue. Find out what your husband's uncle objects to and there may be a way to counter his objections. My aunt lives in a rental duplex that is owned by the lady next door - but my aunt is allowed to have a piece of the garden for her own gardening and it makes the whole place look wonderful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Di: My MIL used to do a lot of container gardening when she was renting even though the man that owned the house had no issue with her planting in the ground as long as it made the yard look aesthetically nice. (I think I spelled that right). She even grew her own tomatoes in containers! She had several trees that used to be little and she had to have her sons and brother bring those in during the cold months but now that she bought a place a few years ago, the trees are actually planted in her new yard and she has a little garden out back too. I do so hope that you can enjoy some planting. Myself personally, I would kill a fake silk plant. <big grin> Though when I ever get that spa room finished, I want to put some humidity-loving plants in that room along with some herbs and such. We own, or rather the bank owns, our house but we are making those huge payments each month and it was nicely landscaped when we bought it. It isn't hard for hubby and my mom to keep it looking nice outside. I help as much as I can. The only thing I seem to have a knack for is the azalea bushes around the house. It takes me forever to get them trimmed back each year but I have been told they are the prettiest in the subdivision. All I do is trim them back before or after they bloom and add some azalea food to them once or twice a season. My jonquils, I think they are called Daffodils, grow even when I do nothing to them. My tulips died and never did come back. I think they have to be dug up each year. I just cannot physically do that. I attached a picture of what I am talking about. Mine are yellow with yellow in the middle and grow in bunches. The tops are huge. They were called giant jonquils. I bought them through a fund-raiser and my teenager's school one year and planted them. I do hope you can do some gardening of some kind as it sounds as if you love it so well. I think it is wonderful and healthy when we can keep at least one hobby to keep our hands and our minds occupied. I also envy anyone who is great with plants. I wish you the best of luck. Sam **************************************************************************** ** What about container gardening? Would the uncle be averse to your planting up some pots of things and arranging them attractively around the yard. Sometimes that looks just beautiful and adds a lot to the look of a property. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Sharon: You lucky thing! I have tried to raise several Bonsai trees but they never lived past about 6 to 8 months. Now I am really envious. <grin> I bet yours are beautiful. I love violets too but haven't been able to get them to grow either. That is one plant that will be on my list of obtaining for the spa room when and if it is ever finished too. I do have a peace lily my MIL gave me that will go in that room when/if it is finished. I know I keep saying when/if but right now I am just about out of money. I have enough left to get the wiring done, at least I hope I do, and to pay the carpenter for the work he did a few weeks ago then I am broke completely. <frown> I thought maybe I would start checking into some grants that might could help with the little work that needs to be finished. I so much wanted to get that room done. At least I can use the spa but I need to get paint on the walls before I use it much more to prevent ruining the drywall/sheetrock. Sam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Sharon: You lucky thing! I have tried to raise several Bonsai trees but they never lived past about 6 to 8 months. Now I am really envious. <grin> I bet yours are beautiful. I love violets too but haven't been able to get them to grow either. That is one plant that will be on my list of obtaining for the spa room when and if it is ever finished too. I do have a peace lily my MIL gave me that will go in that room when/if it is finished. I know I keep saying when/if but right now I am just about out of money. I have enough left to get the wiring done, at least I hope I do, and to pay the carpenter for the work he did a few weeks ago then I am broke completely. <frown> I thought maybe I would start checking into some grants that might could help with the little work that needs to be finished. I so much wanted to get that room done. At least I can use the spa but I need to get paint on the walls before I use it much more to prevent ruining the drywall/sheetrock. Sam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Hi Di Sorry for your disappointment. Isn't there some kind of indoor or perhaps patio gardening you can do? It wouldn't your dream garden but perhaps better than nothing. Kaylene >Hi everyone, >I have had a really bad weekend. I have just found out that the >garden that I had been planning so energetically for month is not >mine. - >Di (Diane) >in Vancouver, B.C., Canada > > _________________________________________________________________ Get rid of annoying pop-up ads with the new MSN Toolbar – FREE! http://clk.atdmt.com/AVE/go/onm00200414ave/direct/01/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Hi Di Sorry for your disappointment. Isn't there some kind of indoor or perhaps patio gardening you can do? It wouldn't your dream garden but perhaps better than nothing. Kaylene >Hi everyone, >I have had a really bad weekend. I have just found out that the >garden that I had been planning so energetically for month is not >mine. - >Di (Diane) >in Vancouver, B.C., Canada > > _________________________________________________________________ Get rid of annoying pop-up ads with the new MSN Toolbar – FREE! http://clk.atdmt.com/AVE/go/onm00200414ave/direct/01/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Hi Di Sorry for your disappointment. Isn't there some kind of indoor or perhaps patio gardening you can do? It wouldn't your dream garden but perhaps better than nothing. Kaylene >Hi everyone, >I have had a really bad weekend. I have just found out that the >garden that I had been planning so energetically for month is not >mine. - >Di (Diane) >in Vancouver, B.C., Canada > > _________________________________________________________________ Get rid of annoying pop-up ads with the new MSN Toolbar – FREE! http://clk.atdmt.com/AVE/go/onm00200414ave/direct/01/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 why not have spice graden in window there easy to grow you can even grow sone medcinal plants get a book on herbs then at end of year give them for gifts to people ypu know and love,i have big green tumb if you need eny info on growing them let me know,there fun easy smell good.contaners can be lligtth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 why not have spice graden in window there easy to grow you can even grow sone medcinal plants get a book on herbs then at end of year give them for gifts to people ypu know and love,i have big green tumb if you need eny info on growing them let me know,there fun easy smell good.contaners can be lligtth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 also try a sweey patao in water it grow huge then dies its seasonal or small cati are real easy to care for the spices can also be dreid put into jars and given as gifts people like them and the really apperate them becuse there so exspentive i can help you with choose and how to dry you just hand the whole plant upside down in paper bag haan somwhere to dry not near moisiter when dry shake free and bottle, it fun saves monet at christmas,you can be very nice gifts for pennh hugs nanna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 also try a sweey patao in water it grow huge then dies its seasonal or small cati are real easy to care for the spices can also be dreid put into jars and given as gifts people like them and the really apperate them becuse there so exspentive i can help you with choose and how to dry you just hand the whole plant upside down in paper bag haan somwhere to dry not near moisiter when dry shake free and bottle, it fun saves monet at christmas,you can be very nice gifts for pennh hugs nanna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 dee fry wrote: > why not have spice garden in window there easy to grow you can even grow > some medicinal plants get a book on herbs then at end of year give them > for gifts to people you know and love,i have big green thumb if you need > any info on growing them let me know, there fun easy smell good. contaners > can be lligtth. What a great idea! I love having my spices too. See Diane there is enough to keep you going for ages and ages. years and years of pleasure waiting at your own fingertips. Remember Adjust. Sharon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 YOU ARE MOST WELCOME. > >Reply-To: chronic_pain >To: chronic_pain >Subject: Re: Gardens >Date: Tue, 23 Mar 2004 01:01:44 +1100 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Kathy Featherston wrote: >> What was the original understanding regarding this front space? Is there anything in the rental agreement about it? What are his objections to someone putting some nice plants in there? <<snip>> What about container gardening? Would the uncle be averse to your planting up some pots of things and arranging them attractively around the yard. << Hi , Thanks for replying. We don't have a rental agreement because the landlord is my mother-in-law, so everything was very casual. I see now that this was a mistake. The previous tenants had the frontyard so I just assumed that we would too, as we are paying the same rent. His objection to me putting in some plants is that he is an avid gardener so he wants to. My husband went down to talk to him about this whole issue and he said (grudgingly) that I could plant some things in one little spot in the garden. He then went onto to say that what I had been talking about planting (nasturtiums) were horrible anyway and anything that was planted he was going to rip up in the fall. I'm sure if I tried to put out some containers he would just move them around and/or replant them. I now think that us moving here was a terrible mistake. I tried to talk to my uncle-in-law personally about this issue, and guess what? - he yelled at me. I guess he feels strongly that the garden belongs to him. I just wish he had said this at the start, instead of getting me books from the library about gardening and talking about taking me to nurseries. I guess he thought I'd get a thrill out of seeing him gardening. Sorry this is so long but I am so upset and disappointed...I know that I am depressed for other reasons - my back pain, worries about the futures, loneliness...but this feels like the last straw somehow. Sorry for being so self-pitying but I feel SO low right now. Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Oh Diane, that sucks. Have you tried talking to the uncle-in-law?? Or is he a hard-ass " noyardofmineisgoingtobeaprettygardenbullsh*t " kinda guy?? Ok, now this was the first thing that popped in my brain. Do you have a bay window anywhere? Or even a wall with a couple of windows? You could have a little flower garden (or heck, you could have a veggie garden if you really wanted!) right there in your house!! I would - especially if I had my heart set the way your poor little heart must have been before it was broken. I'm sorry that you had this sudden disappointment. Try, try, try to find some way of having a PLAN B. You've always got to have a plan b. Take care, dear. Sending love, hugs, and good energy your way, in Iowa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 i think they grow wild in my woods,i will transplant them.the woods ferns do great.cece Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 i think they grow wild in my woods,i will transplant them.the woods ferns do great.cece Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 i think they grow wild in my woods,i will transplant them.the woods ferns do great.cece Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Oh Diane, I am so sorry to read about the loss of your garden. You were so excited about the prospect of gardening. Why don't you find out if there are community gardens in your area? Many areas have them. You are given a plot to do with as you like in the way of planting. The land is divided up and there are others planting their plots as well, so this could also be more fun as you could talk with your gardening neighbors. Some folks have been gardening the same plots for years, and are very knowledgeable. You might check with your Town or city offices about it. I was sad to see you had left the group, but glad we weren't the cause of your leaving. Chin up, if you can't have a community plot, why not have your hubby build you some large boxes and you can plant in them if you have a patio, porch or other outdoor spot you can call your own. Arianne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2004 Report Share Posted March 22, 2004 Oh Diane, I am so sorry to read about the loss of your garden. You were so excited about the prospect of gardening. Why don't you find out if there are community gardens in your area? Many areas have them. You are given a plot to do with as you like in the way of planting. The land is divided up and there are others planting their plots as well, so this could also be more fun as you could talk with your gardening neighbors. Some folks have been gardening the same plots for years, and are very knowledgeable. You might check with your Town or city offices about it. I was sad to see you had left the group, but glad we weren't the cause of your leaving. Chin up, if you can't have a community plot, why not have your hubby build you some large boxes and you can plant in them if you have a patio, porch or other outdoor spot you can call your own. Arianne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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