Jump to content
RemedySpot.com

Re: A strange but common remark

Rate this topic

Guest guest

By Guest guest
in Health, Medicine and Natural Healing 08

 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

That is horrible. Dont let that poor sad soul get you down. Try to get your hands on the book Widening the Circle to lift your spirits about the power of inclusive classrooms. Dawn http://www.amazon.com/Widening-Circle-Power-Inclusive-Classrooms/dp/0807032808 iammamapie wrote: I had one of my parents decide to move her child

yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Thank you ! I will get the book Carol P D wrote: That is horrible. Dont let that poor sad soul get you down. Try to get your hands on the book Widening the Circle to lift your spirits about the power of inclusive classrooms. Dawn http://www.amazon.com/Widening-Circle-Power-Inclusive-Classrooms/dp/0807032808 iammamapie <iammamapie> wrote: I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what

will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Our school district is refusing to offer inclusion to kids with Down Syndrome. They are sending them all to life skills. We are fighting to keep our son included and now the school district is retailiating against us. So I know exactly how you feel. Lori D wrote: That is horrible. Dont let that poor sad soul get you down. Try to get your hands on the book Widening the Circle to lift your spirits about the power of inclusive

classrooms. Dawn http://www.amazon.com/Widening-Circle-Power-Inclusive-Classrooms/dp/0807032808 iammamapie <iammamapie> wrote: I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year.

If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

We are in Texas. Yes, I am still fighting. We are about to ago into mediation. However, they are trying to shut me down. They are retailiating bigtime. They have called CPS on us. We have 5 kids in the district, and our district is run by the "good old boy" system. We have to advocates, but the school is really playing dirty, to the point I worry about the safety of my kids. LoriLori Dunn wrote: Our school district is

refusing to offer inclusion to kids with Down Syndrome. They are sending them all to life skills. We are fighting to keep our son included and now the school district is retailiating against us. So I know exactly how you feel. Lori D <christina7> wrote: That is horrible. Dont let that poor sad soul get you down. Try to get your hands on the book Widening the Circle to lift your spirits about the power of inclusive classrooms. Dawn http://www.amazon.com/Widening-Circle-Power-Inclusive-Classrooms/dp/0807032808 iammamapie <iammamapie> wrote:

I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2

yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Lori,

The National Down Syndrome Society is looking for a school district to file a class action lawsuit against that is denying inclusion and descriminating against students with Down syndrome...sounds like your's might be the one!

This would set a precident that would help us all!

I highly recommend you contact NDSS!

, Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark

Our school district is refusing to offer inclusion to kids with Down Syndrome. They are sending them all to life skills. We are fighting to keep our son included and now the school district is retailiating against us. So I know exactly how you feel.

Lori D <christina7> wrote:

That is horrible. Dont let that poor sad soul get you down. Try to get your hands on the book Widening the Circle to lift your spirits about the power of inclusive classrooms.

Dawn

http://www.amazon.com/Widening-Circle-Power-Inclusive-Classrooms/dp/0807032808

iammamapie <iammamapie> wrote:

I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday.

And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber "

I have not ever had anyone say that to me before.

And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!!

And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school

I had thought about letting Amber go to next year.

If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school.

You have , well then again you probably do have an idea

of how that made me feel.

Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life.

As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!!

My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things....

It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad

Of course I am second guessing her going to that school

Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Oh, wow, our kids really shine a true light on people's character don't they!

Do you sit around the teacher's lounge grousing about Amber's issues? Or is she just a b**ch that 'thinks' Amber is a burden?

Sounds like a blessing to me....

Perhaps Amber should go to the school you teach at so you can keep an eye on her educational progress....and the teacher lounge chatter...

, Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

[DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark

I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday.

And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber "

I have not ever had anyone say that to me before.

And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!!

And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school

I had thought about letting Amber go to next year.

If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school.

You have , well then again you probably do have an idea

of how that made me feel.

Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life.

As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!!

My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things....

It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad

Of course I am second guessing her going to that school

Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

, I am not a teacher but a child care provider. I babysat her child. And she just assumes what she says is true. She has not spent time with Amber so she does not know anything about her. That is just her point of view. That is why it concerns me Carol P. McElwee wrote: Oh, wow, our kids really shine a true light on people's character don't they! Do you sit around the teacher's lounge grousing about Amber's issues? Or is she just a b**ch that 'thinks' Amber is a burden? Sounds like a blessing to me.... Perhaps Amber should go to the school you teach at so you can keep an eye on her educational progress....and the teacher lounge chatter... , Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

[DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in

all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

, I am not a teacher but a child care provider. I babysat her child. And she just assumes what she says is true. She has not spent time with Amber so she does not know anything about her. That is just her point of view. That is why it concerns me Carol P. McElwee wrote: Oh, wow, our kids really shine a true light on people's character don't they! Do you sit around the teacher's lounge grousing about Amber's issues? Or is she just a b**ch that 'thinks' Amber is a burden? Sounds like a blessing to me.... Perhaps Amber should go to the school you teach at so you can keep an eye on her educational progress....and the teacher lounge chatter... , Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

[DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in

all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

I am so sorry Carol!! I know how that comments hurts your heart. I left church because I was tired of the parishioners saying that to me! It is a very common sentiment out there and the only way to deal with the pain is turn around and start educating that woman.Why on earth did she place her child in your care in the first place if she felt that way??? Is there something else going on with her and she just 'used' this? Doesn't make sense that she would have employed you in the first place if she felt that way.I know there are teachers at 's school who have similar feelings about people with disabilities. I helped in my son's room and his teacher felt that way!! She was very condescending and dismissing of one child in her room and I found her very hard to 'take' and still do.

But I tried very hard to open her eyes to a different way of thinking and also to talk to her about as we met up in the community and also at school. She is a hard nut to crack with regards to her attitude and she still has that condescending attitude at times, but I have noticed it lessening as time goes on.Now that we are moving fast and furious with the Playhouse here, I am running into ALL kinds of people who just have NO CLUE and say things that make me want to smack em.....here's and example- A man at an expo stopped to inquire if his 50 year old neighbor with a DD could attend the adult meetings and then asks " Can anyone come? I don't suppose just me being stupid would qualify me." ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!The more you get out there and talk to people the more you realize that the negative attitudes in people run very deep......even nice helpful people. There is no way to get away from it, you just

have to meet it head on and try to educate as you go.With regards to sending Amber to school, I would go and spend with the people who are going to be spending time with her and not let this one person affect you decision. In our case at church it was just about everyone, and I didn't want to battle back then as we were battling all her health issues and I need a church that helped rather than added to my problems. Sadly I haven't found one yet, but I admit to having stopped looking at this point. Carol in IL AIM doihavtasay1 GigaTribe doihavtasayMom to seven including , 7 with TOF, AVcanal, GERD, LS, Asthma, subglottal stenosis, and DS.My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me. Join our Down Syndrome information group - http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DownSyndromeInfoExchange/ Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic----- Original Message ----To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange Sent: Saturday, April 19, 2008 8:57:36 AMSubject: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark ,I am not a teacher but a child care provider.I babysat her child. And she just assumes what she says is true.She has not spent time with Amber so she does not know anything about her.That is just her point of view. That is why it concerns meCarol P. McElwee <sandra.mcelwee@ cox.net> wrote:Oh, wow, our kids really shine a true light on people's character don't they! Do you sit around the teacher's lounge grousing about Amber's issues? Or is she just a b**ch that 'thinks'

Amber is a burden? Sounds like a blessing to me.... Perhaps Amber should go to the school you teach at so you can keep an eye on her educational progress.... and the teacher lounge chatter... , Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks .net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks .net/DDS/ speech.html

[DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remarkI had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in

all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

I am so sorry Carol!! I know how that comments hurts your heart. I left church because I was tired of the parishioners saying that to me! It is a very common sentiment out there and the only way to deal with the pain is turn around and start educating that woman.Why on earth did she place her child in your care in the first place if she felt that way??? Is there something else going on with her and she just 'used' this? Doesn't make sense that she would have employed you in the first place if she felt that way.I know there are teachers at 's school who have similar feelings about people with disabilities. I helped in my son's room and his teacher felt that way!! She was very condescending and dismissing of one child in her room and I found her very hard to 'take' and still do.

But I tried very hard to open her eyes to a different way of thinking and also to talk to her about as we met up in the community and also at school. She is a hard nut to crack with regards to her attitude and she still has that condescending attitude at times, but I have noticed it lessening as time goes on.Now that we are moving fast and furious with the Playhouse here, I am running into ALL kinds of people who just have NO CLUE and say things that make me want to smack em.....here's and example- A man at an expo stopped to inquire if his 50 year old neighbor with a DD could attend the adult meetings and then asks " Can anyone come? I don't suppose just me being stupid would qualify me." ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!The more you get out there and talk to people the more you realize that the negative attitudes in people run very deep......even nice helpful people. There is no way to get away from it, you just

have to meet it head on and try to educate as you go.With regards to sending Amber to school, I would go and spend with the people who are going to be spending time with her and not let this one person affect you decision. In our case at church it was just about everyone, and I didn't want to battle back then as we were battling all her health issues and I need a church that helped rather than added to my problems. Sadly I haven't found one yet, but I admit to having stopped looking at this point. Carol in IL AIM doihavtasay1 GigaTribe doihavtasayMom to seven including , 7 with TOF, AVcanal, GERD, LS, Asthma, subglottal stenosis, and DS.My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me. Join our Down Syndrome information group - http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DownSyndromeInfoExchange/ Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic----- Original Message ----To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange Sent: Saturday, April 19, 2008 8:57:36 AMSubject: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark ,I am not a teacher but a child care provider.I babysat her child. And she just assumes what she says is true.She has not spent time with Amber so she does not know anything about her.That is just her point of view. That is why it concerns meCarol P. McElwee <sandra.mcelwee@ cox.net> wrote:Oh, wow, our kids really shine a true light on people's character don't they! Do you sit around the teacher's lounge grousing about Amber's issues? Or is she just a b**ch that 'thinks'

Amber is a burden? Sounds like a blessing to me.... Perhaps Amber should go to the school you teach at so you can keep an eye on her educational progress.... and the teacher lounge chatter... , Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks .net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks .net/DDS/ speech.html

[DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remarkI had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in

all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

I am so sorry Carol!! I know how that comments hurts your heart. I left church because I was tired of the parishioners saying that to me! It is a very common sentiment out there and the only way to deal with the pain is turn around and start educating that woman.Why on earth did she place her child in your care in the first place if she felt that way??? Is there something else going on with her and she just 'used' this? Doesn't make sense that she would have employed you in the first place if she felt that way.I know there are teachers at 's school who have similar feelings about people with disabilities. I helped in my son's room and his teacher felt that way!! She was very condescending and dismissing of one child in her room and I found her very hard to 'take' and still do.

But I tried very hard to open her eyes to a different way of thinking and also to talk to her about as we met up in the community and also at school. She is a hard nut to crack with regards to her attitude and she still has that condescending attitude at times, but I have noticed it lessening as time goes on.Now that we are moving fast and furious with the Playhouse here, I am running into ALL kinds of people who just have NO CLUE and say things that make me want to smack em.....here's and example- A man at an expo stopped to inquire if his 50 year old neighbor with a DD could attend the adult meetings and then asks " Can anyone come? I don't suppose just me being stupid would qualify me." ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!The more you get out there and talk to people the more you realize that the negative attitudes in people run very deep......even nice helpful people. There is no way to get away from it, you just

have to meet it head on and try to educate as you go.With regards to sending Amber to school, I would go and spend with the people who are going to be spending time with her and not let this one person affect you decision. In our case at church it was just about everyone, and I didn't want to battle back then as we were battling all her health issues and I need a church that helped rather than added to my problems. Sadly I haven't found one yet, but I admit to having stopped looking at this point. Carol in IL AIM doihavtasay1 GigaTribe doihavtasayMom to seven including , 7 with TOF, AVcanal, GERD, LS, Asthma, subglottal stenosis, and DS.My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me. Join our Down Syndrome information group - http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DownSyndromeInfoExchange/ Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic----- Original Message ----To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange Sent: Saturday, April 19, 2008 8:57:36 AMSubject: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark ,I am not a teacher but a child care provider.I babysat her child. And she just assumes what she says is true.She has not spent time with Amber so she does not know anything about her.That is just her point of view. That is why it concerns meCarol P. McElwee <sandra.mcelwee@ cox.net> wrote:Oh, wow, our kids really shine a true light on people's character don't they! Do you sit around the teacher's lounge grousing about Amber's issues? Or is she just a b**ch that 'thinks'

Amber is a burden? Sounds like a blessing to me.... Perhaps Amber should go to the school you teach at so you can keep an eye on her educational progress.... and the teacher lounge chatter... , Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks .net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks .net/DDS/ speech.html

[DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remarkI had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in

all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

The reason I started babysitting for her was because she was in a crunch. And she was one of the friends of a friend I babysit for. That is what I get for having a kind heart and helping others. My mistake . I won't do it again. From now on I will not accept others that are friends of friends. you know they say OH I have this Friend and ....... I do believe her child is a problem child. And that was the first of the issues. Would not listen. Nor did her child have good manners. I do get the kids to say no ma'am , or please may I, or Thank you etc... She always had a hard time getting it out. Her mom said she would not say it at home. So maybe this kid is the ruler at her house. I had fixed the girls hair one day. She went home and told her mom I put her in the

shower. I said No, I used a spray bottle with 1/2 leave in cond. and half water. It is what I use for Katelynn's hair every morning . Because it is long and tangles easy. I have one child that I have been watching for 4 yrs. she goes to dance on Thurs. So I get her dressed and fix her hair. That was when the other girls asked if they could get their hair done. Needless to say I don't fix any ones hair but the girl that is going to dance now. It just amazes me how they can take the word of a 2 or 3 yr. old , over what an adult says. I know there is alot of craziness out there. But some honest people do still exist. Carol P. Carol in IL wrote: I am so sorry Carol!! I know how that comments hurts your heart. I left church because I was tired of the parishioners saying that to me! It is a very common sentiment out there and the only way to deal with the pain is turn around and start educating that woman.Why on earth did she place her child in your care in the first place if she felt that way??? Is there something else going on with her and she just 'used' this? Doesn't make sense that she would have employed you in the first place if she felt that way.I know there are teachers at 's school who have

similar feelings about people with disabilities. I helped in my son's room and his teacher felt that way!! She was very condescending and dismissing of one child in her room and I found her very hard to 'take' and still do. But I tried very hard to open her eyes to a different way of thinking and also to talk to her about as we met up in the community and also at school. She is a hard nut to crack with regards to her attitude and she still has that condescending attitude at times, but I have noticed it lessening as time goes on.Now that we are moving fast and furious with the Playhouse here, I am running into ALL kinds of people who just have NO CLUE and say things that make me want to smack em.....here's and example- A man at an expo stopped to inquire if his 50 year old neighbor with a DD could attend the adult meetings and then asks " Can anyone come? I don't suppose just me being stupid would qualify me."

ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!The more you get out there and talk to people the more you realize that the negative attitudes in people run very deep......even nice helpful people. There is no way to get away from it, you just have to meet it head on and try to educate as you go.With regards to sending Amber to school, I would go and spend with the people who are going to be spending time with her and not let this one person affect you decision. In our case at church it was just about everyone, and I didn't want to battle back then as we were battling all her health issues and I need a church that helped rather than added to my problems. Sadly I haven't found one yet, but I admit to having stopped looking at this point. Carol in IL AIM doihavtasay1 GigaTribe doihavtasayMom to seven including , 7 with TOF, AVcanal, GERD, LS, Asthma, subglottal stenosis, and DS.My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me. Join our Down Syndrome

information group - http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DownSyndromeInfoExchange/ Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic [DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remark I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad

part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am

second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

The reason I started babysitting for her was because she was in a crunch. And she was one of the friends of a friend I babysit for. That is what I get for having a kind heart and helping others. My mistake . I won't do it again. From now on I will not accept others that are friends of friends. you know they say OH I have this Friend and ....... I do believe her child is a problem child. And that was the first of the issues. Would not listen. Nor did her child have good manners. I do get the kids to say no ma'am , or please may I, or Thank you etc... She always had a hard time getting it out. Her mom said she would not say it at home. So maybe this kid is the ruler at her house. I had fixed the girls hair one day. She went home and told her mom I put her in the

shower. I said No, I used a spray bottle with 1/2 leave in cond. and half water. It is what I use for Katelynn's hair every morning . Because it is long and tangles easy. I have one child that I have been watching for 4 yrs. she goes to dance on Thurs. So I get her dressed and fix her hair. That was when the other girls asked if they could get their hair done. Needless to say I don't fix any ones hair but the girl that is going to dance now. It just amazes me how they can take the word of a 2 or 3 yr. old , over what an adult says. I know there is alot of craziness out there. But some honest people do still exist. Carol P. Carol in IL wrote: I am so sorry Carol!! I know how that comments hurts your heart. I left church because I was tired of the parishioners saying that to me! It is a very common sentiment out there and the only way to deal with the pain is turn around and start educating that woman.Why on earth did she place her child in your care in the first place if she felt that way??? Is there something else going on with her and she just 'used' this? Doesn't make sense that she would have employed you in the first place if she felt that way.I know there are teachers at 's school who have

similar feelings about people with disabilities. I helped in my son's room and his teacher felt that way!! She was very condescending and dismissing of one child in her room and I found her very hard to 'take' and still do. But I tried very hard to open her eyes to a different way of thinking and also to talk to her about as we met up in the community and also at school. She is a hard nut to crack with regards to her attitude and she still has that condescending attitude at times, but I have noticed it lessening as time goes on.Now that we are moving fast and furious with the Playhouse here, I am running into ALL kinds of people who just have NO CLUE and say things that make me want to smack em.....here's and example- A man at an expo stopped to inquire if his 50 year old neighbor with a DD could attend the adult meetings and then asks " Can anyone come? I don't suppose just me being stupid would qualify me."

ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!The more you get out there and talk to people the more you realize that the negative attitudes in people run very deep......even nice helpful people. There is no way to get away from it, you just have to meet it head on and try to educate as you go.With regards to sending Amber to school, I would go and spend with the people who are going to be spending time with her and not let this one person affect you decision. In our case at church it was just about everyone, and I didn't want to battle back then as we were battling all her health issues and I need a church that helped rather than added to my problems. Sadly I haven't found one yet, but I admit to having stopped looking at this point. Carol in IL AIM doihavtasay1 GigaTribe doihavtasayMom to seven including , 7 with TOF, AVcanal, GERD, LS, Asthma, subglottal stenosis, and DS.My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me. Join our Down Syndrome

information group - http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DownSyndromeInfoExchange/ Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic [DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remark I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad

part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am

second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

The reason I started babysitting for her was because she was in a crunch. And she was one of the friends of a friend I babysit for. That is what I get for having a kind heart and helping others. My mistake . I won't do it again. From now on I will not accept others that are friends of friends. you know they say OH I have this Friend and ....... I do believe her child is a problem child. And that was the first of the issues. Would not listen. Nor did her child have good manners. I do get the kids to say no ma'am , or please may I, or Thank you etc... She always had a hard time getting it out. Her mom said she would not say it at home. So maybe this kid is the ruler at her house. I had fixed the girls hair one day. She went home and told her mom I put her in the

shower. I said No, I used a spray bottle with 1/2 leave in cond. and half water. It is what I use for Katelynn's hair every morning . Because it is long and tangles easy. I have one child that I have been watching for 4 yrs. she goes to dance on Thurs. So I get her dressed and fix her hair. That was when the other girls asked if they could get their hair done. Needless to say I don't fix any ones hair but the girl that is going to dance now. It just amazes me how they can take the word of a 2 or 3 yr. old , over what an adult says. I know there is alot of craziness out there. But some honest people do still exist. Carol P. Carol in IL wrote: I am so sorry Carol!! I know how that comments hurts your heart. I left church because I was tired of the parishioners saying that to me! It is a very common sentiment out there and the only way to deal with the pain is turn around and start educating that woman.Why on earth did she place her child in your care in the first place if she felt that way??? Is there something else going on with her and she just 'used' this? Doesn't make sense that she would have employed you in the first place if she felt that way.I know there are teachers at 's school who have

similar feelings about people with disabilities. I helped in my son's room and his teacher felt that way!! She was very condescending and dismissing of one child in her room and I found her very hard to 'take' and still do. But I tried very hard to open her eyes to a different way of thinking and also to talk to her about as we met up in the community and also at school. She is a hard nut to crack with regards to her attitude and she still has that condescending attitude at times, but I have noticed it lessening as time goes on.Now that we are moving fast and furious with the Playhouse here, I am running into ALL kinds of people who just have NO CLUE and say things that make me want to smack em.....here's and example- A man at an expo stopped to inquire if his 50 year old neighbor with a DD could attend the adult meetings and then asks " Can anyone come? I don't suppose just me being stupid would qualify me."

ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!The more you get out there and talk to people the more you realize that the negative attitudes in people run very deep......even nice helpful people. There is no way to get away from it, you just have to meet it head on and try to educate as you go.With regards to sending Amber to school, I would go and spend with the people who are going to be spending time with her and not let this one person affect you decision. In our case at church it was just about everyone, and I didn't want to battle back then as we were battling all her health issues and I need a church that helped rather than added to my problems. Sadly I haven't found one yet, but I admit to having stopped looking at this point. Carol in IL AIM doihavtasay1 GigaTribe doihavtasayMom to seven including , 7 with TOF, AVcanal, GERD, LS, Asthma, subglottal stenosis, and DS.My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me. Join our Down Syndrome

information group - http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DownSyndromeInfoExchange/ Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic [DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remark I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad

part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am

second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

If someone is looking for something to complain about they are going to find it. It sounds like she is a very unhappy lady who has trouble with her typical daughter and is looking for someone to blame. The sad thing is is that it is her daughter who is losing out. Her daughter was in a good environment and she is removing her. Having a child with disabilities can sure shine a light on the ugliness in other people. It sounds like you are all better off being away from her. Loriiammamapie wrote: The reason I started babysitting for her was because she was in a crunch. And she was one of the friends of a friend I babysit for. That is what I get for having a kind heart and helping others. My mistake . I won't do it again. From now on I will not accept others that are friends of friends. you know they say OH I have this Friend and ....... I do believe her child is a problem child. And that was the first of the issues. Would not listen. Nor did her child have good manners. I do get the kids to say no ma'am , or please may I, or Thank you etc... She always had a hard time getting it out. Her mom said she would not say it at home. So maybe this kid is the ruler at her house. I had fixed the girls hair one

day. She went home and told her mom I put her in the shower. I said No, I used a spray bottle with 1/2 leave in cond. and half water. It is what I use for Katelynn's hair every morning . Because it is long and tangles easy. I have one child that I have been watching for 4 yrs. she goes to dance on Thurs. So I get her dressed and fix her hair. That was when the other girls asked if they could get their hair done. Needless to say I don't fix any ones hair but the girl that is going to dance now. It just amazes me how they can take the word of a 2 or 3 yr. old , over what an adult says. I know there is alot of craziness out there. But some honest people do still exist. Carol P. Carol in IL <ps1272000> wrote: I am so sorry Carol!! I know how that comments hurts your heart. I left church because I was tired of the parishioners saying that to me! It is a very common sentiment out there and the only way to deal with the pain is turn around and start educating that woman.Why on earth did she place her child in your care in the first place if she felt that way??? Is there something else going on with her and she just 'used' this? Doesn't make sense that she would have employed you in the first place if she felt that way.I know there are teachers at 's school who have similar feelings about people with disabilities. I helped in my son's room and his teacher felt that way!! She was very condescending and dismissing of one child in her room and I found her very hard to 'take' and still do. But I tried very hard to open her eyes to a

different way of thinking and also to talk to her about as we met up in the community and also at school. She is a hard nut to crack with regards to her attitude and she still has that condescending attitude at times, but I have noticed it lessening as time goes on.Now that we are moving fast and furious with the Playhouse here, I am running into ALL kinds of people who just have NO CLUE and say things that make me want to smack em.....here's and example- A man at an expo stopped to inquire if his 50 year old neighbor with a DD could attend the adult meetings and then asks " Can anyone come? I don't suppose just me being stupid would qualify me." ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!The more you get out there and talk to people the more you realize that the negative attitudes in people run very deep......even nice helpful people. There is no way to get away from it, you just have to meet it head on and try to educate as you

go.With regards to sending Amber to school, I would go and spend with the people who are going to be spending time with her and not let this one person affect you decision. In our case at church it was just about everyone, and I didn't want to battle back then as we were battling all her health issues and I need a church that helped rather than added to my problems. Sadly I haven't found one yet, but I admit to having stopped looking at this point. Carol in IL AIM doihavtasay1 GigaTribe

doihavtasayMom to seven including , 7 with TOF, AVcanal, GERD, LS, Asthma, subglottal stenosis, and DS.My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me. Join our Down Syndrome information group - http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DownSyndromeInfoExchange/ Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic [DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remark I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden

in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

If someone is looking for something to complain about they are going to find it. It sounds like she is a very unhappy lady who has trouble with her typical daughter and is looking for someone to blame. The sad thing is is that it is her daughter who is losing out. Her daughter was in a good environment and she is removing her. Having a child with disabilities can sure shine a light on the ugliness in other people. It sounds like you are all better off being away from her. Loriiammamapie wrote: The reason I started babysitting for her was because she was in a crunch. And she was one of the friends of a friend I babysit for. That is what I get for having a kind heart and helping others. My mistake . I won't do it again. From now on I will not accept others that are friends of friends. you know they say OH I have this Friend and ....... I do believe her child is a problem child. And that was the first of the issues. Would not listen. Nor did her child have good manners. I do get the kids to say no ma'am , or please may I, or Thank you etc... She always had a hard time getting it out. Her mom said she would not say it at home. So maybe this kid is the ruler at her house. I had fixed the girls hair one

day. She went home and told her mom I put her in the shower. I said No, I used a spray bottle with 1/2 leave in cond. and half water. It is what I use for Katelynn's hair every morning . Because it is long and tangles easy. I have one child that I have been watching for 4 yrs. she goes to dance on Thurs. So I get her dressed and fix her hair. That was when the other girls asked if they could get their hair done. Needless to say I don't fix any ones hair but the girl that is going to dance now. It just amazes me how they can take the word of a 2 or 3 yr. old , over what an adult says. I know there is alot of craziness out there. But some honest people do still exist. Carol P. Carol in IL <ps1272000> wrote: I am so sorry Carol!! I know how that comments hurts your heart. I left church because I was tired of the parishioners saying that to me! It is a very common sentiment out there and the only way to deal with the pain is turn around and start educating that woman.Why on earth did she place her child in your care in the first place if she felt that way??? Is there something else going on with her and she just 'used' this? Doesn't make sense that she would have employed you in the first place if she felt that way.I know there are teachers at 's school who have similar feelings about people with disabilities. I helped in my son's room and his teacher felt that way!! She was very condescending and dismissing of one child in her room and I found her very hard to 'take' and still do. But I tried very hard to open her eyes to a

different way of thinking and also to talk to her about as we met up in the community and also at school. She is a hard nut to crack with regards to her attitude and she still has that condescending attitude at times, but I have noticed it lessening as time goes on.Now that we are moving fast and furious with the Playhouse here, I am running into ALL kinds of people who just have NO CLUE and say things that make me want to smack em.....here's and example- A man at an expo stopped to inquire if his 50 year old neighbor with a DD could attend the adult meetings and then asks " Can anyone come? I don't suppose just me being stupid would qualify me." ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!The more you get out there and talk to people the more you realize that the negative attitudes in people run very deep......even nice helpful people. There is no way to get away from it, you just have to meet it head on and try to educate as you

go.With regards to sending Amber to school, I would go and spend with the people who are going to be spending time with her and not let this one person affect you decision. In our case at church it was just about everyone, and I didn't want to battle back then as we were battling all her health issues and I need a church that helped rather than added to my problems. Sadly I haven't found one yet, but I admit to having stopped looking at this point. Carol in IL AIM doihavtasay1 GigaTribe

doihavtasayMom to seven including , 7 with TOF, AVcanal, GERD, LS, Asthma, subglottal stenosis, and DS.My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me. Join our Down Syndrome information group - http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DownSyndromeInfoExchange/ Listen to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic [DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remark I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday. And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber " I have not ever had anyone say that to me before. And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!! And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school I had thought about letting Amber go to next year. If she is a burden

in her eyes, what will she be at school. You have , well then again you probably do have an idea of how that made me feel. Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life. As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!! My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things.... It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad Of course I am second guessing her going to that school Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Hugs, Carol P. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

I agree with Lori.

I also think that Amber shouldn’t have to measure up to that

mom’s ‘standards’, whatever they may be. That mom lost a

valuable opportunity to teach her child compassion and acceptance by having her

play and learn with Amber. Her loss.

Carol, I would have been hurt by that comment, too. It bothers

me when people look at Danny and pity him (or our family) but I just have to

assume that they are ignorant. Before I had Danny, I used to pity people who

had a kid with any type of special need…I just didn’t know any

better. (but I at least *did* know enough to keep my mouth shut and not

make remarks to parents like the one she made to you) And I agree, I would be

very concerned if a teacher was making comments and judgments like that.

KathyR

From:

DownSyndromeInfoExchange

[mailto:DownSyndromeInfoExchange ] On Behalf Of Lori Dunn

Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2008 2:00 PM

To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange

Subject: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark

If someone is looking for something to complain about they

are going to find it. It sounds like she is a very unhappy lady who has

trouble with her typical daughter and is looking for someone to blame.

The sad thing is is that it is her daughter who is losing out. Her

daughter was in a good environment and she is removing her. Having

a child with disabilities can sure shine a light on the ugliness in other

people. It sounds like you are all better off being away from her.

Lori

iammamapie wrote:

The reason I started babysitting for her was because she was

in a crunch.

And she was one of the friends of a friend I babysit for.

That is what I get for having a kind heart and helping

others.

My mistake . I won't do it again. From now on I

will not accept others that

are friends of friends. you know they say OH I have

this Friend and .......

I do believe her child is a problem child. And that

was the first of the issues.

Would not listen. Nor did her child have good manners.

I do get the kids to say no ma'am , or please may I, or

Thank you etc...

She always had a hard time getting it out. Her mom

said she would not say

it at home. So maybe this kid is

the ruler at her house.

I had fixed the girls hair one day. She went home and

told her mom I put her

in the shower. I said No, I used a spray bottle

with 1/2 leave in cond. and half water.

It is what I use for Katelynn's hair every morning . Because

it is long and tangles easy.

I have one child that I have been watching for 4 yrs. she

goes to dance on Thurs.

So I get her dressed and fix her hair. That was when

the other girls asked if they could

get their hair done. Needless to say I don't fix any

ones hair but the girl that is going to

dance now.

It just amazes me how they can take the word of a 2 or 3 yr.

old , over what an adult says.

I know there is alot of craziness out there. But some

honest people do still exist.

Carol P.

Carol in IL wrote:

I am so sorry Carol!! I know how that comments

hurts your heart. I left church because I was tired of the parishioners saying

that to me! It is a very common sentiment out there and the only way to

deal with the pain is turn around and start educating that woman.

Why on earth did she place her child in your care in the first place if she

felt that way??? Is there something else going on with her and she just 'used'

this? Doesn't make sense that she would have employed you in the first place if

she felt that way.

I know there are teachers at 's school who have similar feelings about

people with disabilities. I helped in my son's room and his teacher felt that

way!! She was very condescending and dismissing of one child in her room and I

found her very hard to 'take' and still do. But I tried very hard to open her

eyes to a different way of thinking and also to talk to her about as

we met up in the community and also at school. She is a hard nut to crack with

regards to her attitude and she still has that condescending attitude at

times, but I have noticed it lessening as time goes on.

Now that we are moving fast and furious with the Playhouse here, I am

running into ALL kinds of people who just have NO CLUE and say things that make

me want to smack em.....here's and example- A man at an expo stopped to inquire

if his 50 year old neighbor with a DD could attend the adult meetings and then

asks " Can anyone come? I don't suppose just me being stupid would

qualify me. " ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

The more you get out there and talk to people the more you realize that the

negative attitudes in people run very deep......even nice helpful people.

There is no way to get away from it, you just have to meet it head on and try

to educate as you go.

With regards to sending Amber to school, I would go and spend with the people

who are going to be spending time with her and not let this one person affect

you decision. In our case at church it was just about everyone, and I didn't

want to battle back then as we were battling all her health issues and I need a

church that helped rather than added to my problems. Sadly I haven't

found one yet, but I admit to having stopped looking at this point.

Carol in IL

AIM doihavtasay1 GigaTribe doihavtasay

Mom to seven including

, 7 with TOF, AVcanal, GERD, LS, Asthma, subglottal stenosis, and DS.

My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me.

Join

our Down Syndrome information group -

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DownSyndromeInfoExchange/

Listen

to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic

[DownSyndromeInfoEx

change] A strange but common remark

I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday.

And one of her reasons were because of " well your

burden Amber "

I have not ever had anyone say that to me before.

And you know the really sad part. She is a

teacher !!!!

And the other sad thing is She teaches at the

very same school

I had thought about letting Amber go to next year.

If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at

school.

You have , well then again you probably

do have an idea

of how that made me feel.

Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of

her life.

As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of

her as a burden !!!!

My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such

things....

It really hurt my heart. And yes I did

cry. Just Sad very Sad

Of course I am second guessing her going to that school

Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo!

Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

I agree with Lori.

I also think that Amber shouldn’t have to measure up to that

mom’s ‘standards’, whatever they may be. That mom lost a

valuable opportunity to teach her child compassion and acceptance by having her

play and learn with Amber. Her loss.

Carol, I would have been hurt by that comment, too. It bothers

me when people look at Danny and pity him (or our family) but I just have to

assume that they are ignorant. Before I had Danny, I used to pity people who

had a kid with any type of special need…I just didn’t know any

better. (but I at least *did* know enough to keep my mouth shut and not

make remarks to parents like the one she made to you) And I agree, I would be

very concerned if a teacher was making comments and judgments like that.

KathyR

From:

DownSyndromeInfoExchange

[mailto:DownSyndromeInfoExchange ] On Behalf Of Lori Dunn

Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2008 2:00 PM

To: DownSyndromeInfoExchange

Subject: Re: [DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark

If someone is looking for something to complain about they

are going to find it. It sounds like she is a very unhappy lady who has

trouble with her typical daughter and is looking for someone to blame.

The sad thing is is that it is her daughter who is losing out. Her

daughter was in a good environment and she is removing her. Having

a child with disabilities can sure shine a light on the ugliness in other

people. It sounds like you are all better off being away from her.

Lori

iammamapie wrote:

The reason I started babysitting for her was because she was

in a crunch.

And she was one of the friends of a friend I babysit for.

That is what I get for having a kind heart and helping

others.

My mistake . I won't do it again. From now on I

will not accept others that

are friends of friends. you know they say OH I have

this Friend and .......

I do believe her child is a problem child. And that

was the first of the issues.

Would not listen. Nor did her child have good manners.

I do get the kids to say no ma'am , or please may I, or

Thank you etc...

She always had a hard time getting it out. Her mom

said she would not say

it at home. So maybe this kid is

the ruler at her house.

I had fixed the girls hair one day. She went home and

told her mom I put her

in the shower. I said No, I used a spray bottle

with 1/2 leave in cond. and half water.

It is what I use for Katelynn's hair every morning . Because

it is long and tangles easy.

I have one child that I have been watching for 4 yrs. she

goes to dance on Thurs.

So I get her dressed and fix her hair. That was when

the other girls asked if they could

get their hair done. Needless to say I don't fix any

ones hair but the girl that is going to

dance now.

It just amazes me how they can take the word of a 2 or 3 yr.

old , over what an adult says.

I know there is alot of craziness out there. But some

honest people do still exist.

Carol P.

Carol in IL wrote:

I am so sorry Carol!! I know how that comments

hurts your heart. I left church because I was tired of the parishioners saying

that to me! It is a very common sentiment out there and the only way to

deal with the pain is turn around and start educating that woman.

Why on earth did she place her child in your care in the first place if she

felt that way??? Is there something else going on with her and she just 'used'

this? Doesn't make sense that she would have employed you in the first place if

she felt that way.

I know there are teachers at 's school who have similar feelings about

people with disabilities. I helped in my son's room and his teacher felt that

way!! She was very condescending and dismissing of one child in her room and I

found her very hard to 'take' and still do. But I tried very hard to open her

eyes to a different way of thinking and also to talk to her about as

we met up in the community and also at school. She is a hard nut to crack with

regards to her attitude and she still has that condescending attitude at

times, but I have noticed it lessening as time goes on.

Now that we are moving fast and furious with the Playhouse here, I am

running into ALL kinds of people who just have NO CLUE and say things that make

me want to smack em.....here's and example- A man at an expo stopped to inquire

if his 50 year old neighbor with a DD could attend the adult meetings and then

asks " Can anyone come? I don't suppose just me being stupid would

qualify me. " ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

The more you get out there and talk to people the more you realize that the

negative attitudes in people run very deep......even nice helpful people.

There is no way to get away from it, you just have to meet it head on and try

to educate as you go.

With regards to sending Amber to school, I would go and spend with the people

who are going to be spending time with her and not let this one person affect

you decision. In our case at church it was just about everyone, and I didn't

want to battle back then as we were battling all her health issues and I need a

church that helped rather than added to my problems. Sadly I haven't

found one yet, but I admit to having stopped looking at this point.

Carol in IL

AIM doihavtasay1 GigaTribe doihavtasay

Mom to seven including

, 7 with TOF, AVcanal, GERD, LS, Asthma, subglottal stenosis, and DS.

My problem is not how I look. It's how you see me.

Join

our Down Syndrome information group -

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DownSyndromeInfoExchange/

Listen

to oldest dd's music http://www.myspace.com/vennamusic

[DownSyndromeInfoEx

change] A strange but common remark

I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday.

And one of her reasons were because of " well your

burden Amber "

I have not ever had anyone say that to me before.

And you know the really sad part. She is a

teacher !!!!

And the other sad thing is She teaches at the

very same school

I had thought about letting Amber go to next year.

If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at

school.

You have , well then again you probably

do have an idea

of how that made me feel.

Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of

her life.

As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of

her as a burden !!!!

My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such

things....

It really hurt my heart. And yes I did

cry. Just Sad very Sad

Of course I am second guessing her going to that school

Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo!

Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

I wrote a speech about 10 years ago titledWhat to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

I put it online and hundreds of people have used this to deliver in their areas...change the story to your story, take out the Bible verses if they are not appropriate to the audience...find venues in your area to deliver it...or email the speech to the people who are 'too stupid to know better'.

Honestly, I didn' t know what to say before was born, so we have to help those who don't know how to help themselves <grins>

was getting his braces off this week...the assistant who was doing the dirty work did something wrong and said 'I'm so retarded'...SEAN was inches from her when she said it! BUT the funny thing is doens't think he's retarded, so he took no offense to her comment...I on the other hand emailed the Orthodontist with the suggestion that she educate her staff, as they now have a lot of referrals from ME and have MANY kids and teens with Down syndrome coming there...and most of my friends would not be so forgiving!

[DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remark

I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday.

And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber "

I have not ever had anyone say that to me before.

And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!!

And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school

I had thought about letting Amber go to next year.

If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school.

You have , well then again you probably do have an idea

of how that made me feel.

Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life.

As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!!

My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things....

It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad

Of course I am second guessing her going to that school

Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Hugs, Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

I wrote a speech about 10 years ago titledWhat to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

I put it online and hundreds of people have used this to deliver in their areas...change the story to your story, take out the Bible verses if they are not appropriate to the audience...find venues in your area to deliver it...or email the speech to the people who are 'too stupid to know better'.

Honestly, I didn' t know what to say before was born, so we have to help those who don't know how to help themselves <grins>

was getting his braces off this week...the assistant who was doing the dirty work did something wrong and said 'I'm so retarded'...SEAN was inches from her when she said it! BUT the funny thing is doens't think he's retarded, so he took no offense to her comment...I on the other hand emailed the Orthodontist with the suggestion that she educate her staff, as they now have a lot of referrals from ME and have MANY kids and teens with Down syndrome coming there...and most of my friends would not be so forgiving!

[DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remark

I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday.

And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber "

I have not ever had anyone say that to me before.

And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!!

And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school

I had thought about letting Amber go to next year.

If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school.

You have , well then again you probably do have an idea

of how that made me feel.

Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life.

As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!!

My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things....

It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad

Of course I am second guessing her going to that school

Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Hugs, Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

OH, sorry, I didn't understand the 'removed' part.

Perhaps she just thinks you have to spend an inordaniate amount of time with Amber and her kid is being neglected....?

The year before we sent to Kindergarten I met with the principal and took him 2 copies of a video tape of including an interview with his current teacher on how things would have to be modified for him, video of him participating and NOT cooperating in class. I didn't want to paint him as the perfect child. I included a letter to the teachers asking that they view the video and please decide if teaching was something they wanted to do....the number one success factor is that the teacher WANTS the kid in their class.

The principal gave one teacher both videos (he knew which one would have the desire, want the challenge and have the heart to include ) she called me and said, "I just finished watching 's video and would love to be his teacher next year. I believe all children should be educated together!" She was a great kindergarten teacher, then each year teacher's would volunteer to have in their classes! By about 3rd grade a friend of mine said 'Wow, you get the best teachers every year!" And the truth is the best teachers ARE the ones who want our kids.

I would take a minute and write, or email this woman (I would be too emotional to talk on the phone, don't know about you) and explain that you are very hurt that she would view Amber as a burden, because you see her as a blessing. And perhaps sing some of AMber's praises. Tell her you are sorry she felt the way she did, and that you will miss her child.

Be the bigger woman---I know I've grown to be the bigger woman over the years...in more ways than one!

, Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

[DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark

I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday.

And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber "

I have not ever had anyone say that to me before.

And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!!

And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school

I had thought about letting Amber go to next year.

If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school.

You have , well then again you probably do have an idea

of how that made me feel.

Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life.

As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!!

My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things....

It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad

Of course I am second guessing her going to that school

Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Hugs, Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

OH, sorry, I didn't understand the 'removed' part.

Perhaps she just thinks you have to spend an inordaniate amount of time with Amber and her kid is being neglected....?

The year before we sent to Kindergarten I met with the principal and took him 2 copies of a video tape of including an interview with his current teacher on how things would have to be modified for him, video of him participating and NOT cooperating in class. I didn't want to paint him as the perfect child. I included a letter to the teachers asking that they view the video and please decide if teaching was something they wanted to do....the number one success factor is that the teacher WANTS the kid in their class.

The principal gave one teacher both videos (he knew which one would have the desire, want the challenge and have the heart to include ) she called me and said, "I just finished watching 's video and would love to be his teacher next year. I believe all children should be educated together!" She was a great kindergarten teacher, then each year teacher's would volunteer to have in their classes! By about 3rd grade a friend of mine said 'Wow, you get the best teachers every year!" And the truth is the best teachers ARE the ones who want our kids.

I would take a minute and write, or email this woman (I would be too emotional to talk on the phone, don't know about you) and explain that you are very hurt that she would view Amber as a burden, because you see her as a blessing. And perhaps sing some of AMber's praises. Tell her you are sorry she felt the way she did, and that you will miss her child.

Be the bigger woman---I know I've grown to be the bigger woman over the years...in more ways than one!

, Mom to 14, DS, Southern CaliforniaTo succeed in life,you need three things:a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.~ Reba McIntyre

Diagnosis Down Syndrome: A Site of Hope for New Parents or Parents with a Prenatal Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/What to Say to Parents of a Child with a Diagnosishttp://www.leeworks.net/DDS/speech.html

[DownSyndromeInfoExchange] A strange but common remark

I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday.

And one of her reasons were because of "well your burden Amber "

I have not ever had anyone say that to me before.

And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!!

And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school

I had thought about letting Amber go to next year.

If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school.

You have , well then again you probably do have an idea

of how that made me feel.

Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life.

As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden !!!!

My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things....

It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad

Of course I am second guessing her going to that school

Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Hugs, Carol P.

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Your letter touched my heart! I have been a lurker on this list for months. I

read everything but have not posted until now. I am a daycare provider also and

I care for a three year old little angel with Down's Syndrome. She has never

been a burden to me! I lost another client though because the mom did not think

it was good for her daughter to be spending so much time with someone who had

Down's Syndrome and another little boy in my care who is Autistic. She gave a

two week notice but I waived the two weeks and ask her to leave right away. I

have zero tolarance for her kind of thinking.

I enjoy reading everything that is posted here and thanks for having me.

Sheron

[DownSyndromeInfoEx change] A strange but common remark

I had one of my parents decide to move her child yesterday.

And one of her reasons were because of " well your burden Amber "

I have not ever had anyone say that to me before.

And you know the really sad part. She is a teacher !!!!

And the other sad thing is She teaches at the very same school

I had thought about letting Amber go to next year.

If she is a burden in her eyes, what will she be at school.

You have , well then again you probably do have an idea

of how that made me feel.

Yes, Amber is a hand full But in all the 5 1/2 yrs. of her life.

As hard as some days may be I have not ever thought of her as a burden

!!!!

My heart just sunk to think a teacher would say such things....

It really hurt my heart. And yes I did cry. Just Sad very Sad

Of course I am second guessing her going to that school

Carol P.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it

now.

Hugs, Carol P.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...