Re: Friendly society rules

[Guest guest]

I know exactly what you are talking about... And agree most people

are so wrapped up in there view of the world they are unable to step

back and at least consider that some one with a different world view

may be seeing some thing they over looked.

I understand that there are some that view that severely Autistic

people's withdrawal from the world as a matter of them defending

themselves from a world that overloads their hyper sensitive

awareness... Maybe the reason Aspies don't see the world the way

NT's do is that we see it in more detail than most (NT's) people. I

really think that the majority of people (NT and Aspie) are too

focused on their own personal view of the world to consider that they

may not very a accurate picture of reality and are so scared that

they may not be right to consider an alternate view might not be

wrong... I many cases right and wrong are highly dependent on were

you are when you need to make the choice...

Ender

At 11:04 AM 1/18/2008, you wrote:

>You know what I learned yesterday, That I am an aspie through and

>through because I do not fit into social society. That people are put

>off by logic, defense against poor standards. When i say people I mean

>NT's. In my higher education quest and my interaction with other

>adults outside my home. I get misunderstood everywhere. You are not

>allowed to tell a person their words are sleazy(I didn't use that

>word), but I alluded to a woman using her children's health condition

>as a possible revenue stream(and everyone got angry at me) In my mind

>the outside world is nuts, and i am nuts for trying to join it. I

>still don't get Nt's I still can't speak the language they speak.

>

>I know I am asking for but I could use a consesus. Do I appear harsh,

>overbearing, authoritative, imposing, challanging. (stop me when I am

>wrong Lol. Anyway it seems that interactions with people are chancy

>at best and saying what you really feel is innapproiate. But I would

>like suggestions if anyone has any,

>

>as this wall is hard and it hurts when i keep hitting it.

[Guest guest]

" I know I am asking for but I could use a consesus. Do I appear harsh,

overbearing, authoritative, imposing, challanging. (stop me when I am

wrong Lol. "

You are none of these things. If anything, I sometimes feel like people

walk all over you.

" Anyway it seems that interactions with people are chancy

at best and saying what you really feel is innapproiate. But I would

like suggestions if anyone has any, as this wall is hard and it hurts

when i keep hitting it. "

This morning a corrupt Chicago politician died. His name was

Stroger and he was the first black man to hold the office of Cook

County Board President. He was very corrupt and in efficient. During

his term of office, the forrest preserves rotted, country raods went

unpaved, and there was a lot of ghost payrolling going on. His son took

over and things have gotten worse.

Now all the politicians in Chicago are saying nothing but good things

about him. He had a stroke a year ago, you see, and his family has been

through a lot. And so now instead of everyone in the country being

thankful he's dead, out of respect for his family, no one is saying

anything but nice things about him. And I think this is BS.

There ought to be these words on his tombstone: Cheat. Liar. Swindler.

Bungler. Ghost Payroller.

But of course to say it outright would be wrong, even though the media

did it for years before poor Mr. Stroger had his stroke.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

mimi wrote: " ... <snip> ... people are put off by logic, defense

against poor standards. When i say people I mean NT's ... <snip> ... "

It's not just NTs, mimi, it's some Aspies as well.

mimi wrote: " ... <snip> ... Do I appear harsh, overbearing,

authoritative, imposing, challanging ... <snip> ... "

To some you will appear that way because this is how they choose to see

you. Still others will claim that you are a big, bad bully because

they are choosing to see you in this way so they can play their

favourite role of victim.

Just be yourself and continue doing what you know is right and good.

Raven

[Guest guest]

" I really think that the majority of people (NT and Aspie) are too

focused on their own personal view of the world to consider that they

may not very a accurate picture of reality and are so scared that

they may not be right to consider an alternate view might not be

wrong... "

I think this is true for NTs for the most part, and I believe it is

true for lower functioning autistics who want to be safe " in their

own little world. " But for those autistics who are mid-level and

higher functioning, I think their insistence on being perceived as

right is based on the research they do and the knowledge they gain

before they say something.

Most people say " I heard that.... " and then insert a misunderstood

fact, or else insert an opinion labeled as fact. Aspies tend to quote

the actual fact.

I find that for me if someone counters with an argument, I have the

facts to smash that argument. What happens is that the other person

gets frustrated simply because they cannot win the argument. That

they are right or wrong is no longer important to them. They just

want to " win " the argument.

For me, I want to " win " but for different reasons. I want truth and

facts to stand instead of conjecture and misunderstood facts. It

would seem that socially, the acceptable thing to do when you are in

possession of all the facts is to let the person who does not have

the facts win the argument. I cannot for the life of me think why.

It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

So many decisions are based on lack of facts, lack of logic, lack of

common sense, and when I try to introduce any of these three elements

into a conversation, I get slammed for it. It's why society is the

way it is. People are ignorant and want to stay that way. For all the

emphasis that is put on education, most people do not like educated

people, they like people who will schmooze others.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

" I know I am asking for but I could use a consesus. Do I appear

harsh, overbearing, authoritative, imposing, challanging. (stop me

when I am wrong Lol. Anyway it seems that interactions with people

are chancy at best and saying what you really feel is innapproiate.

But I would like suggestions if anyone has any,... "

You do not seem to come across as any of those things here.

I have noticed when interacting with NT's they do often

misunderstand, many prefer to jump to conclusions and assume rather

than know the truth. Many also want things so 'sugar coated' that any

point is lost - maybe they prefer to have things so vauge, so they

can wriggle out of anything they may have said or 'alluded' to.

Instead of asking 'why do you think that?' or even bother to get to

know one's reasoning so many would prefer to jump to false

conclusions - perhaps it is to do with social stuff. If they can look

like they are being a victim and gain support from the rest of the

group and bond by a shared dislike of someone that has done no real

wrong, but sadly doesn't fit in because many NT's just don't seem to

like the truth :-(

I wish I had some suggestions, or some words of wisdom - but

baisically I don't want to join in their reindeer games, especially

if doing so would mean having to lie and decieve - the price for me

is too high - I don't want to be popular, I just want to be me.

>

> You know what I learned yesterday, That I am an aspie through and

> through because I do not fit into social society. That people are

put

> off by logic, defense against poor standards. When i say people I

mean

> NT's. In my higher education quest and my interaction with other

> adults outside my home. I get misunderstood everywhere. You are

not

> allowed to tell a person their words are sleazy(I didn't use that

> word), but I alluded to a woman using her children's health

condition

> as a possible revenue stream(and everyone got angry at me) In my

mind

> the outside world is nuts, and i am nuts for trying to join it. I

> still don't get Nt's I still can't speak the language they speak.

>

>

> I know I am asking for but I could use a consesus. Do I appear

harsh,

> overbearing, authoritative, imposing, challanging. (stop me when I

am

> wrong Lol. Anyway it seems that interactions with people are

chancy

> at best and saying what you really feel is innapproiate. But I

would

> like suggestions if anyone has any,

>

> as this wall is hard and it hurts when i keep hitting it.

>

[Guest guest]

" I know I am asking for but I could use a consesus. Do I appear

harsh, overbearing, authoritative, imposing, challanging. (stop me

when I am wrong Lol. Anyway it seems that interactions with people

are chancy at best and saying what you really feel is innapproiate.

But I would like suggestions if anyone has any,... "

You do not seem to come across as any of those things here.

I have noticed when interacting with NT's they do often

misunderstand, many prefer to jump to conclusions and assume rather

than know the truth. Many also want things so 'sugar coated' that any

point is lost - maybe they prefer to have things so vauge, so they

can wriggle out of anything they may have said or 'alluded' to.

Instead of asking 'why do you think that?' or even bother to get to

know one's reasoning so many would prefer to jump to false

conclusions - perhaps it is to do with social stuff. If they can look

like they are being a victim and gain support from the rest of the

group and bond by a shared dislike of someone that has done no real

wrong, but sadly doesn't fit in because many NT's just don't seem to

like the truth :-(

I wish I had some suggestions, or some words of wisdom - but

baisically I don't want to join in their reindeer games, especially

if doing so would mean having to lie and decieve - the price for me

is too high - I don't want to be popular, I just want to be me.

>

> You know what I learned yesterday, That I am an aspie through and

> through because I do not fit into social society. That people are

put

> off by logic, defense against poor standards. When i say people I

mean

> NT's. In my higher education quest and my interaction with other

> adults outside my home. I get misunderstood everywhere. You are

not

> allowed to tell a person their words are sleazy(I didn't use that

> word), but I alluded to a woman using her children's health

condition

> as a possible revenue stream(and everyone got angry at me) In my

mind

> the outside world is nuts, and i am nuts for trying to join it. I

> still don't get Nt's I still can't speak the language they speak.

>

>

> I know I am asking for but I could use a consesus. Do I appear

harsh,

> overbearing, authoritative, imposing, challanging. (stop me when I

am

> wrong Lol. Anyway it seems that interactions with people are

chancy

> at best and saying what you really feel is innapproiate. But I

would

> like suggestions if anyone has any,

>

> as this wall is hard and it hurts when i keep hitting it.

>

[Guest guest]

" NT's just don't seem to like the truth :-( "

They are emotionally fragile. One of their personal weaknesses. Why do

you think they say Aspies have no tact? It's because they cannot handle

the facts given truthfully. They make us out to be the bad guys because

they are the majority, but they are the weak ones.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

I wanted to say thanks to everyone that has responded. Everyone here

seems to understand me and my motivations that doesn't translate in

the outside world. i have been in a bit of a funk and Ravi has a temp

(so I am a bit high strung)

I went to a class today. It is a retake My GPA is 3.5 and I had 2a's

2 b's and one C. Anatomy= the C, and it was my first class in 17 yrs

(I just wasn't prepared for college) besides the subjects I was a

basket case of new " interactions " I later went to the school

councelor just to stop myself from talking to myself in the halls.

Well on the list of unplesant experiences i went to anatomy Take 2.

I had all my course work from the previous time and in those notes

were my past quizzes. Although they were mine I felt as though

having my old quizzes was like having contraban and without thinking

i turned them over to my professor. (I was actually shaking as i

felt having those items was cheating) and i didn't want to have them

in my possetion.

I have asked my mother and an old employer of mine and they think

what I did was rash. I should have kept the quizzes and used them to

study and somehow being honest is an insult to the professor(as

somehow i have suggested he is lazy enough to use the same quizzes)

I didn't feel this way as anatomy is anatomy and there are only so

many questions you can ask with the given materal covered.

I felt it better to earn my own grade, not be tempted by my old

quizzes, and clear my conscience. (I am being told this draws

attention to me and labels me as a potential cheater??!!)

I have to say I am so lost

[Guest guest]

>

> They are emotionally fragile. One of their personal weaknesses. Why

do

> you think they say Aspies have no tact? It's because they cannot

handle

> the facts given truthfully. They make us out to be the bad guys

because

> they are the majority, but they are the weak ones.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

This too seems the case but they do like to lash out and be rigid in

their thinking Laugh anyone? Irony is funny

[Guest guest]

Well, another thing you could have done was asked your professor if

he was going to use the same quizes and tests this term, and if the

answer was no, you could have used them as study notes.

In acourse such as anatomy, I think it is important to get the

answers right by learning, not by memorizing, and it is important to

get the highest grades and the highest proficiency possible.

I think you probably did the right thing by getting rid of those

quizes no matter whether he was going to use the same ones again or

not.

Tom

Administrator

Well on the list of unplesant experiences i went to anatomy Take 2.

I had all my course work from the previous time and in those notes

were my past quizzes. Although they were mine I felt as though

having my old quizzes was like having contraban and without thinking

i turned them over to my professor. (I was actually shaking as i

felt having those items was cheating) and i didn't want to have them

in my possetion.

I have asked my mother and an old employer of mine and they think

what I did was rash. I should have kept the quizzes and used them to

study and somehow being honest is an insult to the professor(as

somehow i have suggested he is lazy enough to use the same quizzes)

I didn't feel this way as anatomy is anatomy and there are only so

many questions you can ask with the given materal covered.

I felt it better to earn my own grade, not be tempted by my old

quizzes, and clear my conscience. (I am being told this draws

attention to me and labels me as a potential cheater??!!)

I have to say I am so lost

[Guest guest]

>

> Well, another thing you could have done was asked your professor if

> he was going to use the same quizes and tests this term, and if the

> answer was no, you could have used them as study notes.

>

> In acourse such as anatomy, I think it is important to get the

> answers right by learning, not by memorizing, and it is important to

> get the highest grades and the highest proficiency possible.

>

> I think you probably did the right thing by getting rid of those

> quizes no matter whether he was going to use the same ones again or

> not.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

Thanks Tom Maybe i have clinical honesty and to NT's this is a

disorder:) I think I just might live through the sesmester, just maybe

[Guest guest]

>

> Well, another thing you could have done was asked your professor if

> he was going to use the same quizes and tests this term, and if the

> answer was no, you could have used them as study notes.

>

> In acourse such as anatomy, I think it is important to get the

> answers right by learning, not by memorizing, and it is important to

> get the highest grades and the highest proficiency possible.

>

> I think you probably did the right thing by getting rid of those

> quizes no matter whether he was going to use the same ones again or

> not.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

Thanks Tom Maybe i have clinical honesty and to NT's this is a

disorder:) I think I just might live through the sesmester, just maybe

[Guest guest]

>

> Well, another thing you could have done was asked your professor if

> he was going to use the same quizes and tests this term, and if the

> answer was no, you could have used them as study notes.

>

> In acourse such as anatomy, I think it is important to get the

> answers right by learning, not by memorizing, and it is important to

> get the highest grades and the highest proficiency possible.

>

> I think you probably did the right thing by getting rid of those

> quizes no matter whether he was going to use the same ones again or

> not.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

Thanks Tom Maybe i have clinical honesty and to NT's this is a

disorder:) I think I just might live through the sesmester, just maybe