Filling in the blanks..was...Re:My Pain In Shame

[Guest guest]

Hi Sheila,

I haven't written to you yet - but after reading this letter, my mind

and heart are racing so! I am , 's wife, and fairly new

here in this group.

Gosh, but you are such a strong woman! Though bedridden, you are

reaching out for answers, for help. Wanting so badly to be with the

man you love more than life itself. You are surely a source of

inspiration for me.

I feel VERY strongly in my heart that there is a solution to getting

your husband here AND healing for you! I know that is thinking,

thinking, thinking...there must be a way for them to be together. We

were talking about it a few minutes ago. My thoughts and prayers are

with you!

I have been surprised at how much of an impact this group and all its

wonderful members have made in my life. I stay super busy at work - I

am a Human Resource Manager for a charter/tour company - but since

joining this group, several times a day people from the group just pop

into my mind. At that moment I stop and say a silent prayer and just

sit and think about them for a few minutes. Sometimes there may be

someone that day that I just can't get off my mind...and I am always

relieved to get home after work and check my mail and see that they

are ok.

I am so glad to have met you.

Much love to you,

http://www.myspace.com/rarebreeze

http://www.myspace.com/asundayinjune

http://www.myspace.com/dnjazz

http://www.intentionalone.com

http://intentionalone.com/yabb/YaBB.pl

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

" Breathe deep, walk slow, hold tight to those you love, for the sun is

setting and it will be over so fast. "

-- Ken Pierpont

; AND

> ALL....

> > > As I read your story, it feels like my insides are being

> > pulled out, because I am feeling the same in 1 way, but had

> completely

> > different experiences than you. This new way of thinking tells me

> that

> > everything I am suffering is my own fault and it seems to add more

> > pain and guilt and shame instead of helping it. This new way of

> > thinking (well its all new to me) tells me that if I were to just

> > think differently, there would be no more suffering. I am still

> > rebelling against that. That leaves no room for God helping us walk

> > through certain circumstances because He knows we need to learn

> from

> > them. It leaves no room for others needing to help those who need

> > help, because " they caused it, they are supposed to work out of it

> > themselves " , and I have been told that, but have never been taught

> > how to think differently. Just today I was going to send a note to

> the

> > group, saying how much pain I was in and that I did just want to

> die

> > today, and that my enthusiasm to stay alive,

> > > which started just a few weeks ago, had burned out because I

> don't

> > even have much strength to breathe or to process any

> thinking....but

> > didn't think I should post it here, because I would get blamed for

> > " thinking WRONGLY " , and that everything I am feeling, I brought on

> > myself...and that information does NOT help me get out of the pain.

> > Does this new way of thinking leave any room for God comforting me

> or

> > there even being a God who loves me? I'm at the point where I am

> > trying to decide whether to accept/believe all of this, or to go

> back

> > to what I knew before, where I DID feel comfort from my God. I am

> in

> > pain, and I too was too ashamed to say anything here. I have not

> even

> > had the strength to read all the posts, so have considered kicking

> > myself out of the group, because I am in grade 1 with this new way

> of

> > thinking, and all of you seem to be in University, and I don't even

> > understand half of what is said, until I learn other concepts

> first. I

> > don't know what to think or

> > > feel or think...I just know I am in terrible pain and afraid

> that I

> > might have to annul my marriage because I am too sick to help him

> > survive and adjust once he immigrates. He is from Swat, by Kashmir

> in

> > the Himalayan mountains, also where Shangri-la is believed to be,

> > where Buddha was born. He had to travel to Pakistan for

> immigration,

> > and they said that according to PAKISTANI LAW, there was something

> > left out on our marriage certificate. We got a lawyer from Swat,

> who

> > said that since we were not married in a Pakistani owned area,

> > Pakistani law does not matter. The Afghanistan people have to go to

> > Pakistan for immigration too. So then we were told it would take

> from

> > 1 to 4 years to even get a hearing to tell the judge about the

> > mistake, but I am happy for the delay, so I can try to get well

> first.

> > I am just thinking what if I don't get well? Why delay his life? I

> > need to let him move on and marry someone else...but he doesn't

> want

> > to. Ok enough babbling, thanks for

> > > writing that. I really was ashamed to cry out for help in here

> too.

> > > Blessings,

> > > Sheila

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha!

> > > Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at

> > Games.

> > >

> >

>