* Self-Esteem: The Key To Spirituality *

[Guest guest]

* Self-Esteem: The Key To Spirituality *

by

-Ann

Many people believe that one of the main goals of

their spiritual system is to destroy their ego. They

have the mistaken idea that the ego is bad, and must

be done away with to be able to advance spiritually.

But that's not actually the aim of these traditions.

They're simply trying to get their followers to give up

the false sense of self, a form of psuedo self-esteem,

which consists of narcissism, conceit, self-

importance, greed and self-involvement. These are

ways we use to fool ourselves to create a false sense

of self-worth. Unfortunately, they don't work and are

actually self-destructive. But people who misinterpret

the goal, and attempt to dismantle their sense of self,

not just the false ways, can actually destroy their

ability to function and make decisions.

I've known people who did just that, and began

following a charismatic leader who thrived on power

and control over his disciples. They gave up

everything to him, including their ability to keep

themselves safe. I remember one gentleman who

abdicated his responsibility for himself and others,

walked out of a marriage and alienated all his friends.

He went from being a really nice guy to being self-

righteous and obnoxious, which is exactly the

opposite of what the spiritual traditions are aiming

for.

There are so many trap doors that we can fall into

when we believe that a sense of self is wrong. A

belief in and respect for oneself is necessary not only

for spiritual development but for personal growth.

Our ego is our rational mind, simply allowing us to

distinguish ourselves from others and make conscious

choices for ourselves. When it's in its proper

perspective, the ego helps us determine what issues

are ours and what problems don't belong to us. If it's

not present, it can mean that we can't understand

when we're being lied to or taken advantage of.

For instance, an abused wife is falsely told over and

over that she's stupid, and is to blame for her husband

beating her. Her ego has been so battered that she

can't realize that it's not her fault that her husband is

taking his anger and frustration out on her. Once she

gets out of that relationship, and begins to recover her

self-worth and put her shattered ego back together,

she's able to understand that the problem was with her

husband and his issues.

The ego allows us to have a sense of identity and be

able to make healthy choices for ourselves. It depends

on how much we value ourselves, or " esteem "

ourselves, which is where the term " self-esteem "

comes from. If we don't appreciate our own worth,

then we can't fully recognize our connection to the

Universe, or set boundaries to differentiate " us " from

" others. "

Our feeling of self-worth is based on how we think

about ourselves. It's a thought process that we were

trained in as children. We believed what the

grownups told us about ourselves, whether we were

stupid or smart, graceful or awkward, and a good

person or not. These ideas were programmed into us

before we had an ego, or could think independently.

As we grew up, we took those judgments with us,

added onto them, maybe changed some, and created a

habit of how we viewed ourselves.

The good news is that we can improve our self-

esteem. We can learn to change the way we think

about ourselves and feel competent, self-assured, and

have a strong set of values that works for us. When

we no longer judge ourselves harshly, we can believe

that we're worthy of all the good the Universe has in

store for us. Our decisions will be based on what's for

the Highest Good of all concerned, and not on fear of

what could happen if we don't do what someone else

wants us to do. We'll be able to live more

authentically, and be more aware of our connection to

All That Is.

copyright © 2007 Ann

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*** Affirmation ***

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My ego, which is my rational mind, allows me to

make healthy choices for myself, evaluate concepts

and make decisions, and establish boundaries. I give

myself permission to feel good about myself. Any

old, negative ideas are reassessed and delegated to

their proper place. I establish values that are

appropriate for me and that give me a sense of peace.

As my self-esteem improves, I recognize my true

worth to the Universe.