Re: No more wondering...

June 18, 2004

> Just like we all thought, not a chance she will admitt anything.

> Forget the big stuff, here's just a little thing.

> I ask for something that she took from my house that is sitting on

> her counter. She says its hers, that I never even met the person

who

> gave it to me.

This is another familiar one. Two come to mind immediately. When I

was twelve a friend of my grandmother's gave me a porcelain doll. My

grandmother remade the outer clothes (by hand) and gave it to me. I

was never allowed to take it from the house when I moved out. (when

you have your own home, when you have a case for it) always an

excuse. The other was my wedding dress. My bridesmaids and new

sister in laws were helping me change out of the dress, she came in

took the dress and veil and said she would have it cleaned and sent

to me. (how could I make a fuss at so reasonable a statement in

front of people who had no idea who the woman was?)

I finally got both back when my step father sent me both items in

1999 while she was hospitalized (pretended to try a suicide attempt

cause he decided to divorce her, she drank a tablespoon of gasoline

and called 911). Anyway the dress was never cleaned and the veil is

gone and she cut the sleeves off. The doll's feet and hands are

missing and she has glued black balls to it's ears. It was in

perfect condition with leather feet and hands when it was given to

me. It survived a hundred and fifty years until my mother got near

it.

One of her other favorite tricks besides taking my things was to give

things of mine away. The best was always to give away something my

father or grandmother gave me. She would actually tell people I

didn't want these things because as a good daughter I didn't want

things from people who tried to turn me against her!

The last was a doll house my father had built for me.

D.

June 18, 2004

> This is another familiar one. Two come to mind >immediately.

I had an original Barbie doll, the one with the zebra swim suit and blond

hair in a pony tail. I never played with dolls, so it was in MINT

condition, until my mother found it when I was in high school. She took it

( with out my knowledge/permission) and gave it to my 1 year old niece.

Naturally, it was ruined by the time I found out...my mothers comments was

" well, you never played with it " that is not the point. When I got

married, we had to get a small apartment, so I packed away my model horses

and dogs ( Beswick, Hagen Renaker, Gobel, Royal Dalton...) these weren't

" cheap " plastic models. Anyway, I TOLD her I would bet the box when we

moved to a house. I stored the box in their attic, out of the way of

anything ( I am the last of 5 to leave home) We bought a house 3 years

later, and the box was gone. She claimed it was never in the attic. Dad

said he thinks she gave the models away or sold them at a garage sale...

Jackie

June 18, 2004

This discussion hits home for me as well. When I became a teenager,

my mother started giving away my things without asking me. I was at

a boarding school, but I was still very young and technically lived

at home. And she gave away my bedroom set without asking me--my bed

and all the furniture in it. I came home one day and had to sleep

on the couch. Then she had my sister move into my bedroom. At a

garage sale, she sold almost all of my toys, including my stereo.

That was my record turntable, and to this day I have not been able

to afford to replace it. The things she did not give away or sell,

she would box up and put in random parts of the house, never to be

seen again. It was insidious, bks she is high functioning, so she

didn't actively destroy my toys in creepy ways (as many of your

nadas did I'm sure). But she would passively destroy everything.

Box it up, put it in the attic, or have it just magically

disappear. This is a terrible, terrible nada trait. It's also very

important to her that we don't have rooms in the house--nowhere to

make us feel welcome, nowhere with our own things in them. She said

this year, that for her 'Christmas present' she wanted my sister and

me to take home all of our things that were in her house. It

creeped me out. Why do nadas want to destroy their kids'

possessions like this?

> > This is another familiar one. Two come to mind >immediately.

>

> I had an original Barbie doll, the one with the zebra swim suit

and blond

> hair in a pony tail. I never played with dolls, so it was in MINT

> condition, until my mother found it when I was in high school.

She took it

> ( with out my knowledge/permission) and gave it to my 1 year old

niece.

> Naturally, it was ruined by the time I found out...my mothers

comments was

> " well, you never played with it " that is not the point. When I

got

> married, we had to get a small apartment, so I packed away my

model horses

> and dogs ( Beswick, Hagen Renaker, Gobel, Royal Dalton...) these

weren't

> " cheap " plastic models. Anyway, I TOLD her I would bet the box

when we

> moved to a house. I stored the box in their attic, out of the way

of

> anything ( I am the last of 5 to leave home) We bought a house 3

years

> later, and the box was gone. She claimed it was never in the

attic. Dad

> said he thinks she gave the models away or sold them at a garage

sale...

>

> Jackie

June 18, 2004

yes, this sounds like my mother as well...she's a high functioning BPD as

well...I think they want to destroy our things because they're angry with us

for some reason ??

Jackie

> This discussion hits home for me as well. When I became a teenager,

> my mother started giving away my things without asking me. I was at

> a boarding school, but I was still very young and technically lived

> at home. And she gave away my bedroom set without asking me--my bed

> and all the furniture in it. I came home one day and had to sleep

> on the couch. Then she had my sister move into my bedroom. At a

> garage sale, she sold almost all of my toys, including my stereo.

> That was my record turntable, and to this day I have not been able

> to afford to replace it. The things she did not give away or sell,

> she would box up and put in random parts of the house, never to be

> seen again. It was insidious, bks she is high functioning, so she

> didn't actively destroy my toys in creepy ways (as many of your

> nadas did I'm sure). But she would passively destroy everything.

> Box it up, put it in the attic, or have it just magically

> disappear. This is a terrible, terrible nada trait. It's also very

> important to her that we don't have rooms in the house--nowhere to

> make us feel welcome, nowhere with our own things in them. She said

> this year, that for her 'Christmas present' she wanted my sister and

> me to take home all of our things that were in her house. It

> creeped me out. Why do nadas want to destroy their kids'

> possessions like this?

June 18, 2004

Jackie,

I think you are almost right. I think its more because they hate us, not

just because they are mad at us. I know that my mother hates me. God knows

the woman told me so many times that she did that I have no doubts about it

at all.

Debbie

Re: Re: No more wondering...

> yes, this sounds like my mother as well...she's a high functioning BPD as

> well...I think they want to destroy our things because they're angry with

us

> for some reason ??

>

> Jackie

>

> > This discussion hits home for me as well. When I became a teenager,

> > my mother started giving away my things without asking me. I was at

> > a boarding school, but I was still very young and technically lived

> > at home. And she gave away my bedroom set without asking me--my bed

> > and all the furniture in it. I came home one day and had to sleep

> > on the couch. Then she had my sister move into my bedroom. At a

> > garage sale, she sold almost all of my toys, including my stereo.

> > That was my record turntable, and to this day I have not been able

> > to afford to replace it. The things she did not give away or sell,

> > she would box up and put in random parts of the house, never to be

> > seen again. It was insidious, bks she is high functioning, so she

> > didn't actively destroy my toys in creepy ways (as many of your

> > nadas did I'm sure). But she would passively destroy everything.

> > Box it up, put it in the attic, or have it just magically

> > disappear. This is a terrible, terrible nada trait. It's also very

> > important to her that we don't have rooms in the house--nowhere to

> > make us feel welcome, nowhere with our own things in them. She said

> > this year, that for her 'Christmas present' she wanted my sister and

> > me to take home all of our things that were in her house. It

> > creeped me out. Why do nadas want to destroy their kids'

> > possessions like this?

>

> Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner

> " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via

1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to:

> http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

June 18, 2004