Guest guest Posted June 19, 2004 Report Share Posted June 19, 2004 > > No doubt, Lark. > > I was wondering if other people experienced a real problem that > I have had > > my entire life with my nada; she is insane in the membrane about > money. I had polio in my bedroom.. > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > MSN 9 Dial-up Internet Access fights spam and pop-ups – now 3 > months FREE! > > http://join.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200361ave/direct/01/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2004 Report Share Posted June 19, 2004 > > No doubt, Lark. > > I was wondering if other people experienced a real problem that > I have had > > my entire life with my nada; she is insane in the membrane about > money. I had polio in my bedroom.. > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > MSN 9 Dial-up Internet Access fights spam and pop-ups – now 3 > months FREE! > > http://join.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200361ave/direct/01/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2004 Report Share Posted June 19, 2004 > > No doubt, Lark. > > I was wondering if other people experienced a real problem that > I have had > > my entire life with my nada; she is insane in the membrane about > money. I had polio in my bedroom.. > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > MSN 9 Dial-up Internet Access fights spam and pop-ups – now 3 > months FREE! > > http://join.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200361ave/direct/01/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Jackie, I am not saying that my mother doesn't have her " nice " moments. But I have to look every time she's nice to me to see just what it is that she wants from me. Sometimes she just wants me to have a pity party for her with her. That I could do, I suppose. But she wants pity for the wrong reasons & I just don't feel sorry for her that she isn't rich & have anything her heart desires. I feel sorry for her because she is so stupid that she just tosses love out the door on a whim & never seems to really realize what it was she threw away. I am referring to husbands as well as children. All of the rest of the times, she has wanted to use my phone, have me make all her dreaded calls to bill collectors, ex-husbands (when she wants money), friends that she wants me to ask them to do stuff for her, cash from me, etc. If I am not forthcoming with whatever it is that she wants me to do, then I am a b-tch. I would like to say that it doesn't bother me at all for her to be that way. But it would bother me if a stranger treated me that way too. At the same time, I have had people that I knew loved me & thought that I was special. I also loved them more than I ever could the woman who gave birth to me. The only reason that I can think of as to why it should bother me so much is that it reeks of injustice towards me, my husband, children, my siblings, & her siblings & towards her parents before they died. That isn't even counting all the other people she treats so badly when she is pitching her fits. I keep hoping that she will wake up & see what an ass she makes of herself when she rages, but I guess that she never will. Debbie Re: Re: No more wondering... > Hi Debbie. I'm sorry your mother is such a nasty one. Mine has said she > hates me too, in her rages, but I don't think she truly does hate me. She > doesn't like me, but I don't think she hates me. In her " normal " times she > can be nice to me... > > Jackie > > > > Jackie, > > I think you are almost right. I think its more because they hate us, not > > just because they are mad at us. I know that my mother hates me. God knows > > the woman told me so many times that she did that I have no doubts about > it > > at all. > > Debbie > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Jackie, I am not saying that my mother doesn't have her " nice " moments. But I have to look every time she's nice to me to see just what it is that she wants from me. Sometimes she just wants me to have a pity party for her with her. That I could do, I suppose. But she wants pity for the wrong reasons & I just don't feel sorry for her that she isn't rich & have anything her heart desires. I feel sorry for her because she is so stupid that she just tosses love out the door on a whim & never seems to really realize what it was she threw away. I am referring to husbands as well as children. All of the rest of the times, she has wanted to use my phone, have me make all her dreaded calls to bill collectors, ex-husbands (when she wants money), friends that she wants me to ask them to do stuff for her, cash from me, etc. If I am not forthcoming with whatever it is that she wants me to do, then I am a b-tch. I would like to say that it doesn't bother me at all for her to be that way. But it would bother me if a stranger treated me that way too. At the same time, I have had people that I knew loved me & thought that I was special. I also loved them more than I ever could the woman who gave birth to me. The only reason that I can think of as to why it should bother me so much is that it reeks of injustice towards me, my husband, children, my siblings, & her siblings & towards her parents before they died. That isn't even counting all the other people she treats so badly when she is pitching her fits. I keep hoping that she will wake up & see what an ass she makes of herself when she rages, but I guess that she never will. Debbie Re: Re: No more wondering... > Hi Debbie. I'm sorry your mother is such a nasty one. Mine has said she > hates me too, in her rages, but I don't think she truly does hate me. She > doesn't like me, but I don't think she hates me. In her " normal " times she > can be nice to me... > > Jackie > > > > Jackie, > > I think you are almost right. I think its more because they hate us, not > > just because they are mad at us. I know that my mother hates me. God knows > > the woman told me so many times that she did that I have no doubts about > it > > at all. > > Debbie > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Jackie, I am not saying that my mother doesn't have her " nice " moments. But I have to look every time she's nice to me to see just what it is that she wants from me. Sometimes she just wants me to have a pity party for her with her. That I could do, I suppose. But she wants pity for the wrong reasons & I just don't feel sorry for her that she isn't rich & have anything her heart desires. I feel sorry for her because she is so stupid that she just tosses love out the door on a whim & never seems to really realize what it was she threw away. I am referring to husbands as well as children. All of the rest of the times, she has wanted to use my phone, have me make all her dreaded calls to bill collectors, ex-husbands (when she wants money), friends that she wants me to ask them to do stuff for her, cash from me, etc. If I am not forthcoming with whatever it is that she wants me to do, then I am a b-tch. I would like to say that it doesn't bother me at all for her to be that way. But it would bother me if a stranger treated me that way too. At the same time, I have had people that I knew loved me & thought that I was special. I also loved them more than I ever could the woman who gave birth to me. The only reason that I can think of as to why it should bother me so much is that it reeks of injustice towards me, my husband, children, my siblings, & her siblings & towards her parents before they died. That isn't even counting all the other people she treats so badly when she is pitching her fits. I keep hoping that she will wake up & see what an ass she makes of herself when she rages, but I guess that she never will. Debbie Re: Re: No more wondering... > Hi Debbie. I'm sorry your mother is such a nasty one. Mine has said she > hates me too, in her rages, but I don't think she truly does hate me. She > doesn't like me, but I don't think she hates me. In her " normal " times she > can be nice to me... > > Jackie > > > > Jackie, > > I think you are almost right. I think its more because they hate us, not > > just because they are mad at us. I know that my mother hates me. God knows > > the woman told me so many times that she did that I have no doubts about > it > > at all. > > Debbie > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 We weren't bought toys & rarely ever had christmas. We made our own outside toys or used unconventional ones. Our mother was great about selling our beds, dressers, etc. especially if I was the one who paid for them. Debbie Re: Re: No more wondering... > >Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 09:49:10 -0500 > > > > > This is another familiar one. Two come to mind >immediately. > > > > > >I had an original Barbie doll, the one with the zebra swim suit and blond > >hair in a pony tail. I never played with dolls, so it was in MINT > >condition, until my mother found it when I was in high school. She took > >it > >( with out my knowledge/permission) and gave it to my 1 year old niece. > >Naturally, it was ruined by the time I found out...my mothers comments was > > " well, you never played with it " that is not the point. When I got > >married, we had to get a small apartment, so I packed away my model horses > >and dogs ( Beswick, Hagen Renaker, Gobel, Royal Dalton...) these weren't > > " cheap " plastic models. Anyway, I TOLD her I would bet the box when we > >moved to a house. I stored the box in their attic, out of the way of > >anything ( I am the last of 5 to leave home) We bought a house 3 years > >later, and the box was gone. She claimed it was never in the attic. Dad > >said he thinks she gave the models away or sold them at a garage sale... > > > >Jackie > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Is your PC infected? Get a FREE online computer virus scan from McAfee® > Security. http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 > > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 We weren't bought toys & rarely ever had christmas. We made our own outside toys or used unconventional ones. Our mother was great about selling our beds, dressers, etc. especially if I was the one who paid for them. Debbie Re: Re: No more wondering... > >Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 09:49:10 -0500 > > > > > This is another familiar one. Two come to mind >immediately. > > > > > >I had an original Barbie doll, the one with the zebra swim suit and blond > >hair in a pony tail. I never played with dolls, so it was in MINT > >condition, until my mother found it when I was in high school. She took > >it > >( with out my knowledge/permission) and gave it to my 1 year old niece. > >Naturally, it was ruined by the time I found out...my mothers comments was > > " well, you never played with it " that is not the point. When I got > >married, we had to get a small apartment, so I packed away my model horses > >and dogs ( Beswick, Hagen Renaker, Gobel, Royal Dalton...) these weren't > > " cheap " plastic models. Anyway, I TOLD her I would bet the box when we > >moved to a house. I stored the box in their attic, out of the way of > >anything ( I am the last of 5 to leave home) We bought a house 3 years > >later, and the box was gone. She claimed it was never in the attic. Dad > >said he thinks she gave the models away or sold them at a garage sale... > > > >Jackie > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Is your PC infected? Get a FREE online computer virus scan from McAfee® > Security. http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 > > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 We weren't bought toys & rarely ever had christmas. We made our own outside toys or used unconventional ones. Our mother was great about selling our beds, dressers, etc. especially if I was the one who paid for them. Debbie Re: Re: No more wondering... > >Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 09:49:10 -0500 > > > > > This is another familiar one. Two come to mind >immediately. > > > > > >I had an original Barbie doll, the one with the zebra swim suit and blond > >hair in a pony tail. I never played with dolls, so it was in MINT > >condition, until my mother found it when I was in high school. She took > >it > >( with out my knowledge/permission) and gave it to my 1 year old niece. > >Naturally, it was ruined by the time I found out...my mothers comments was > > " well, you never played with it " that is not the point. When I got > >married, we had to get a small apartment, so I packed away my model horses > >and dogs ( Beswick, Hagen Renaker, Gobel, Royal Dalton...) these weren't > > " cheap " plastic models. Anyway, I TOLD her I would bet the box when we > >moved to a house. I stored the box in their attic, out of the way of > >anything ( I am the last of 5 to leave home) We bought a house 3 years > >later, and the box was gone. She claimed it was never in the attic. Dad > >said he thinks she gave the models away or sold them at a garage sale... > > > >Jackie > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Is your PC infected? Get a FREE online computer virus scan from McAfee® > Security. http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 > > > > > Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner > " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: > http://www.BPDCentral.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 My mother was not treated this way by her parents. She was born sickly & just never seemed to get over it in her head. Granny made a statement to me once & I believe that the way she said it meant that she had a personal experience that made her feel very strongly in order to put it the way she did. My oldest little girl was showing her behind at my granny's house. She was around 3 or 4 years old. I swatted her on the behind & then a few minutes later my daughter came up for a hug. Naturally, I hugged her. My granny said " If I see you love that baby up like that again right after you have spanked her I will spank you. " When I asked her why she told me that I would spoil that baby rotten & I would never be able to do anything with her. My granny had 2 children who seemed to be very spoiled rotten & they were the most sickly ones as well. My mother & her baby brother. Granny had never in all my 28 years of life had never threatened to spank me before & as far as I know she never spanked me when I lived in her home. She just had a personality & a manner about her that was so good that I just wanted to be good for her. She treated everyone this way, so I know that mother never was treated this way by her parents. Debbie Re: Re: No more wondering... > >Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 09:49:10 -0500 > > > > > This is another familiar one. Two come to mind >immediately. > > > > > >I had an original Barbie doll, the one with the zebra swim suit and blond > >hair in a pony tail. I never played with dolls, so it was in MINT > >condition, until my mother found it when I was in high school. She took > >it > >( with out my knowledge/permission) and gave it to my 1 year old niece. > >Naturally, it was ruined by the time I found out...my mothers comments was > > " well, you never played with it " that is not the point. When I got > >married, we had to get a small apartment, so I packed away my model horses > >and dogs ( Beswick, Hagen Renaker, Gobel, Royal Dalton...) these weren't > > " cheap " plastic models. Anyway, I TOLD her I would bet the box when we > >moved to a house. I stored the box in their attic, out of the way of > >anything ( I am the last of 5 to leave home) We bought a house 3 years > >later, and the box was gone. She claimed it was never in the attic. Dad > >said he thinks she gave the models away or sold them at a garage sale... > > > >Jackie > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Is your PC infected? Get a FREE online computer virus scan from McAfee® > Security. http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: http://www.BPDCentral.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 My mother was not treated this way by her parents. She was born sickly & just never seemed to get over it in her head. Granny made a statement to me once & I believe that the way she said it meant that she had a personal experience that made her feel very strongly in order to put it the way she did. My oldest little girl was showing her behind at my granny's house. She was around 3 or 4 years old. I swatted her on the behind & then a few minutes later my daughter came up for a hug. Naturally, I hugged her. My granny said " If I see you love that baby up like that again right after you have spanked her I will spank you. " When I asked her why she told me that I would spoil that baby rotten & I would never be able to do anything with her. My granny had 2 children who seemed to be very spoiled rotten & they were the most sickly ones as well. My mother & her baby brother. Granny had never in all my 28 years of life had never threatened to spank me before & as far as I know she never spanked me when I lived in her home. She just had a personality & a manner about her that was so good that I just wanted to be good for her. She treated everyone this way, so I know that mother never was treated this way by her parents. Debbie Re: Re: No more wondering... > >Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 09:49:10 -0500 > > > > > This is another familiar one. Two come to mind >immediately. > > > > > >I had an original Barbie doll, the one with the zebra swim suit and blond > >hair in a pony tail. I never played with dolls, so it was in MINT > >condition, until my mother found it when I was in high school. She took > >it > >( with out my knowledge/permission) and gave it to my 1 year old niece. > >Naturally, it was ruined by the time I found out...my mothers comments was > > " well, you never played with it " that is not the point. When I got > >married, we had to get a small apartment, so I packed away my model horses > >and dogs ( Beswick, Hagen Renaker, Gobel, Royal Dalton...) these weren't > > " cheap " plastic models. Anyway, I TOLD her I would bet the box when we > >moved to a house. I stored the box in their attic, out of the way of > >anything ( I am the last of 5 to leave home) We bought a house 3 years > >later, and the box was gone. She claimed it was never in the attic. Dad > >said he thinks she gave the models away or sold them at a garage sale... > > > >Jackie > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Is your PC infected? Get a FREE online computer virus scan from McAfee® > Security. http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: http://www.BPDCentral.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 My mother was not treated this way by her parents. She was born sickly & just never seemed to get over it in her head. Granny made a statement to me once & I believe that the way she said it meant that she had a personal experience that made her feel very strongly in order to put it the way she did. My oldest little girl was showing her behind at my granny's house. She was around 3 or 4 years old. I swatted her on the behind & then a few minutes later my daughter came up for a hug. Naturally, I hugged her. My granny said " If I see you love that baby up like that again right after you have spanked her I will spank you. " When I asked her why she told me that I would spoil that baby rotten & I would never be able to do anything with her. My granny had 2 children who seemed to be very spoiled rotten & they were the most sickly ones as well. My mother & her baby brother. Granny had never in all my 28 years of life had never threatened to spank me before & as far as I know she never spanked me when I lived in her home. She just had a personality & a manner about her that was so good that I just wanted to be good for her. She treated everyone this way, so I know that mother never was treated this way by her parents. Debbie Re: Re: No more wondering... > >Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 09:49:10 -0500 > > > > > This is another familiar one. Two come to mind >immediately. > > > > > >I had an original Barbie doll, the one with the zebra swim suit and blond > >hair in a pony tail. I never played with dolls, so it was in MINT > >condition, until my mother found it when I was in high school. She took > >it > >( with out my knowledge/permission) and gave it to my 1 year old niece. > >Naturally, it was ruined by the time I found out...my mothers comments was > > " well, you never played with it " that is not the point. When I got > >married, we had to get a small apartment, so I packed away my model horses > >and dogs ( Beswick, Hagen Renaker, Gobel, Royal Dalton...) these weren't > > " cheap " plastic models. Anyway, I TOLD her I would bet the box when we > >moved to a house. I stored the box in their attic, out of the way of > >anything ( I am the last of 5 to leave home) We bought a house 3 years > >later, and the box was gone. She claimed it was never in the attic. Dad > >said he thinks she gave the models away or sold them at a garage sale... > > > >Jackie > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Is your PC infected? Get a FREE online computer virus scan from McAfee® > Security. http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 Send questions and/or concerns to ModOasis-owner " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs, can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL () and for the table of contents, go to: http://www.BPDCentral.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Good Morning, I read this and it brings back such memories of my nada. She has to be in such control and when she doesn't get her own way, she pouts, cries and acts like a 2 year old! Here is the scenario.. This happened years ago, but until I came across this website, I never knew what her problem was. I just assumed she hated me. Her and Daddy came to my house for their 2 week vacation, as I live in Florida, and they lived in New York at the time. My children, who are grown now, were small. My house was not kept like " better homes and gardens " , and she opened my linen closet and yelled at me how messy it was! I then, proceded to empty the linen closet onto the floor and said that I would now clean it and make it neat! Well, she took off crying and walked around the block, making me feel so darn guilty. (she really pissed me off, it was very unusual for me to act that way). When she came back, she wouldn't speak to me, and when she was in the bedroom I went in and apologized and went to give her a hug, and she wouldn't let me hug her!!!!!!!! My God, I was so upset. I didn't say anything, but I didn't know until NOW what her problem is. This Thursday, my sister and I, (the good sister) are driving her and Daddy up to NY for vacation. I just can't get too excited because she is crazy when she is in a car. A nervous wreck! However she is going to her doctor Monday and getting medication to relax her. This ought to prove to be very interesting. I'll let you know the outcome. Thank God we are flying back to Fl. LOL It's amazing how my life now falls into order knowing my mother is a " nada " . It helps me know it's not me who is crazy, even though I know I have been deeply affected by my childhood. Have a great day, and thanks for all the support! Jeanette:) " Miss Co-dependent " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Good Morning, I read this and it brings back such memories of my nada. She has to be in such control and when she doesn't get her own way, she pouts, cries and acts like a 2 year old! Here is the scenario.. This happened years ago, but until I came across this website, I never knew what her problem was. I just assumed she hated me. Her and Daddy came to my house for their 2 week vacation, as I live in Florida, and they lived in New York at the time. My children, who are grown now, were small. My house was not kept like " better homes and gardens " , and she opened my linen closet and yelled at me how messy it was! I then, proceded to empty the linen closet onto the floor and said that I would now clean it and make it neat! Well, she took off crying and walked around the block, making me feel so darn guilty. (she really pissed me off, it was very unusual for me to act that way). When she came back, she wouldn't speak to me, and when she was in the bedroom I went in and apologized and went to give her a hug, and she wouldn't let me hug her!!!!!!!! My God, I was so upset. I didn't say anything, but I didn't know until NOW what her problem is. This Thursday, my sister and I, (the good sister) are driving her and Daddy up to NY for vacation. I just can't get too excited because she is crazy when she is in a car. A nervous wreck! However she is going to her doctor Monday and getting medication to relax her. This ought to prove to be very interesting. I'll let you know the outcome. Thank God we are flying back to Fl. LOL It's amazing how my life now falls into order knowing my mother is a " nada " . It helps me know it's not me who is crazy, even though I know I have been deeply affected by my childhood. Have a great day, and thanks for all the support! Jeanette:) " Miss Co-dependent " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Good Morning, I read this and it brings back such memories of my nada. She has to be in such control and when she doesn't get her own way, she pouts, cries and acts like a 2 year old! Here is the scenario.. This happened years ago, but until I came across this website, I never knew what her problem was. I just assumed she hated me. Her and Daddy came to my house for their 2 week vacation, as I live in Florida, and they lived in New York at the time. My children, who are grown now, were small. My house was not kept like " better homes and gardens " , and she opened my linen closet and yelled at me how messy it was! I then, proceded to empty the linen closet onto the floor and said that I would now clean it and make it neat! Well, she took off crying and walked around the block, making me feel so darn guilty. (she really pissed me off, it was very unusual for me to act that way). When she came back, she wouldn't speak to me, and when she was in the bedroom I went in and apologized and went to give her a hug, and she wouldn't let me hug her!!!!!!!! My God, I was so upset. I didn't say anything, but I didn't know until NOW what her problem is. This Thursday, my sister and I, (the good sister) are driving her and Daddy up to NY for vacation. I just can't get too excited because she is crazy when she is in a car. A nervous wreck! However she is going to her doctor Monday and getting medication to relax her. This ought to prove to be very interesting. I'll let you know the outcome. Thank God we are flying back to Fl. LOL It's amazing how my life now falls into order knowing my mother is a " nada " . It helps me know it's not me who is crazy, even though I know I have been deeply affected by my childhood. Have a great day, and thanks for all the support! Jeanette:) " Miss Co-dependent " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 > Jackie, > I am not saying that my mother doesn't have her " nice " moments. But I have > to look every time she's nice to me to see just what it is that she wants > from me. Sometimes she just wants me to have a pity party for her with her. > That I could do, I suppose. But she wants pity for the wrong reasons & I > just don't feel sorry for her that she isn't rich & have anything her heart > desires. I don't feel sorry for my mother either...she made her bed, now she has to pay the price... > I feel sorry for her because she is so stupid that she just tosses > love out the door on a whim & never seems to really realize what it was she > threw away. I don't even pity her this...my mother doesn't know how to love, doesn't know how to accept love either...she doesn't seem to care either > . If I am not forthcoming with whatever it is that she wants me to > do, then I am a b-tch. > I would like to say that it doesn't bother me at all for her to be that way. I think it bothers all of us ! > I have had people that I knew loved me & thought that I was special. I > also loved them more than I ever could the woman who gave birth to me. same here Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 > I also started going to a Baptist Church, and she claimed I had become a > religious fanatic! I never said anything to her about my experience, but she > assumed I was a zealot! Oh SAME with my sister !! She converted to a Baptist church, an my mother calls her a " religious freak " and that my sister thinks she " holier than thou " Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 Yes, this is familiar. My nada actually kept a written, running accounting of things we " owed " her for while she was " raising " us kids. As my wedding present she told me that I " no longer owed " her anything. She was tearing up my " bill " for costs she incurred in raising me. She cancelled my " debt " . On the other hand, she took us on lots of vacations. She didn't even expect us kids to pay her back for them! Bartnazor > > No doubt, Lark. > > I was wondering if other people experienced a real problem that > I have had > > my entire life with my nada; she is insane in the membrane about > money. I > > mean, everything that comes to three figures (say, when I got > braces, etc) > > that money was talked about like we were going to go in the poor > house the > > next day. Nada would fuss and cry so dramatically. My dad was > educated, > > made an OK salary and I was an only child. We could afford > braces, and > > vacations (though we never took any, too expensive...). She has > said to be > > as an adult no parent should ever give children over 18 money no > matter what > > the situation (black/white thinking)..Is being incredibly, > pathologically > > cheap something that anyone can relate to in their nada? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2004 Report Share Posted June 23, 2004 My nada is a high functioning nada too. She came up with excuses for all of my things being missing and gone like, " when I left them inthe attic of the old house the humidity must have ruined them. " WTF!!!! If the humidity of Louisiana sitting outside in a big toy chest for ten years didnt mess them up at all why would the humidity of a attic for 3...come on. And why was it just MY things the humidity attacked? Why did the humidity make a point of skipping my " good " sisters things? She destroyed all of my childhood videos, Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Brite, SheeRa...But said she didnt do it. First she said a flood ruined them. Then she forgot that story and said they mildewed from humidity. Funny how once again that humidity skipped my sisters My Little Pony videos and Carebear Videos. If I didnt know better I would SWEAR humidity really has it out for me..... these were precious relics from my childhood I will never be able to share with my daughter because of that fat old bitch. Pardon my French. Im PMSing and thinking of nada is icing on the cake!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2004 Report Share Posted June 23, 2004 My nada is a high functioning nada too. She came up with excuses for all of my things being missing and gone like, " when I left them inthe attic of the old house the humidity must have ruined them. " WTF!!!! If the humidity of Louisiana sitting outside in a big toy chest for ten years didnt mess them up at all why would the humidity of a attic for 3...come on. And why was it just MY things the humidity attacked? Why did the humidity make a point of skipping my " good " sisters things? She destroyed all of my childhood videos, Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Brite, SheeRa...But said she didnt do it. First she said a flood ruined them. Then she forgot that story and said they mildewed from humidity. Funny how once again that humidity skipped my sisters My Little Pony videos and Carebear Videos. If I didnt know better I would SWEAR humidity really has it out for me..... these were precious relics from my childhood I will never be able to share with my daughter because of that fat old bitch. Pardon my French. Im PMSing and thinking of nada is icing on the cake!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2004 Report Share Posted June 23, 2004 My nada is a high functioning nada too. She came up with excuses for all of my things being missing and gone like, " when I left them inthe attic of the old house the humidity must have ruined them. " WTF!!!! If the humidity of Louisiana sitting outside in a big toy chest for ten years didnt mess them up at all why would the humidity of a attic for 3...come on. And why was it just MY things the humidity attacked? Why did the humidity make a point of skipping my " good " sisters things? She destroyed all of my childhood videos, Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Brite, SheeRa...But said she didnt do it. First she said a flood ruined them. Then she forgot that story and said they mildewed from humidity. Funny how once again that humidity skipped my sisters My Little Pony videos and Carebear Videos. If I didnt know better I would SWEAR humidity really has it out for me..... these were precious relics from my childhood I will never be able to share with my daughter because of that fat old bitch. Pardon my French. Im PMSing and thinking of nada is icing on the cake!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Hi all- this hits a BIG nerve for me too.... All of my personal belongings, including all of my art, was sold at a yardsale. My hidden journals were found and burned in the fireplace. Nothing was left. On a lighter note; sometimes Nada's abhorrent behavior towards me has had a tremendously positive outcome for my sons- as both of our sons have large storage areas in our garage, safe and sound, until they settle down and want to add their personal belongings from childhood to their own adult households. I'm so sorry this has happened to so many of us KOs. It is really sad. Take care, Christy Re: Re: No more wondering... My nada is a high functioning nada too. She came up with excuses for all of my things being missing and gone like, " when I left them inthe attic of the old house the humidity must have ruined them. " WTF!!!! If the humidity of Louisiana sitting outside in a big toy chest for ten years didnt mess them up at all why would the humidity of a attic for 3...come on. And why was it just MY things the humidity attacked? Why did the humidity make a point of skipping my " good " sisters things? She destroyed all of my childhood videos, Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Brite, SheeRa...But said she didnt do it. First she said a flood ruined them. Then she forgot that story and said they mildewed from humidity. Funny how once again that humidity skipped my sisters My Little Pony videos and Carebear Videos. If I didnt know better I would SWEAR humidity really has it out for me..... these were precious relics from my childhood I will never be able to share with my daughter because of that fat old bitch. Pardon my French. Im PMSing and thinking of nada is icing on the cake!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Hi all- this hits a BIG nerve for me too.... All of my personal belongings, including all of my art, was sold at a yardsale. My hidden journals were found and burned in the fireplace. Nothing was left. On a lighter note; sometimes Nada's abhorrent behavior towards me has had a tremendously positive outcome for my sons- as both of our sons have large storage areas in our garage, safe and sound, until they settle down and want to add their personal belongings from childhood to their own adult households. I'm so sorry this has happened to so many of us KOs. It is really sad. Take care, Christy Re: Re: No more wondering... My nada is a high functioning nada too. She came up with excuses for all of my things being missing and gone like, " when I left them inthe attic of the old house the humidity must have ruined them. " WTF!!!! If the humidity of Louisiana sitting outside in a big toy chest for ten years didnt mess them up at all why would the humidity of a attic for 3...come on. And why was it just MY things the humidity attacked? Why did the humidity make a point of skipping my " good " sisters things? She destroyed all of my childhood videos, Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Brite, SheeRa...But said she didnt do it. First she said a flood ruined them. Then she forgot that story and said they mildewed from humidity. Funny how once again that humidity skipped my sisters My Little Pony videos and Carebear Videos. If I didnt know better I would SWEAR humidity really has it out for me..... these were precious relics from my childhood I will never be able to share with my daughter because of that fat old bitch. Pardon my French. Im PMSing and thinking of nada is icing on the cake!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Hi all- this hits a BIG nerve for me too.... All of my personal belongings, including all of my art, was sold at a yardsale. My hidden journals were found and burned in the fireplace. Nothing was left. On a lighter note; sometimes Nada's abhorrent behavior towards me has had a tremendously positive outcome for my sons- as both of our sons have large storage areas in our garage, safe and sound, until they settle down and want to add their personal belongings from childhood to their own adult households. I'm so sorry this has happened to so many of us KOs. It is really sad. Take care, Christy Re: Re: No more wondering... My nada is a high functioning nada too. She came up with excuses for all of my things being missing and gone like, " when I left them inthe attic of the old house the humidity must have ruined them. " WTF!!!! If the humidity of Louisiana sitting outside in a big toy chest for ten years didnt mess them up at all why would the humidity of a attic for 3...come on. And why was it just MY things the humidity attacked? Why did the humidity make a point of skipping my " good " sisters things? She destroyed all of my childhood videos, Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Brite, SheeRa...But said she didnt do it. First she said a flood ruined them. Then she forgot that story and said they mildewed from humidity. Funny how once again that humidity skipped my sisters My Little Pony videos and Carebear Videos. If I didnt know better I would SWEAR humidity really has it out for me..... these were precious relics from my childhood I will never be able to share with my daughter because of that fat old bitch. Pardon my French. Im PMSing and thinking of nada is icing on the cake!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Dear Christy, Being a KO helped me be a better teacher. I know how important it is to have a little space to call one's own. In the past, in my classes, I used old shoe boxes that the students painted for their own space. They could leave anything legal there and know it was safe. I understand the violation of personal space that nadas do. So sorry for your loss of idenity items. Find someplace safe. Take care. Otwoma christy wrote: Hi all- this hits a BIG nerve for me too.... All of my personal belongings, including all of my art, was sold at a yardsale. My hidden journals were found and burned in the fireplace. Nothing was left. On a lighter note; sometimes Nada's abhorrent behavior towards me has had a tremendously positive outcome for my sons- as both of our sons have large storage areas in our garage, safe and sound, until they settle down and want to add their personal belongings from childhood to their own adult households. I'm so sorry this has happened to so many of us KOs. It is really sad. Take care, Christy Re: Re: No more wondering... My nada is a high functioning nada too. She came up with excuses for all of my things being missing and gone like, " when I left them inthe attic of the old house the humidity must have ruined them. " WTF!!!! If the humidity of Louisiana sitting outside in a big toy chest for ten years didnt mess them up at all why would the humidity of a attic for 3...come on. And why was it just MY things the humidity attacked? Why did the humidity make a point of skipping my " good " sisters things? She destroyed all of my childhood videos, Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Brite, SheeRa...But said she didnt do it. First she said a flood ruined them. Then she forgot that story and said they mildewed from humidity. Funny how once again that humidity skipped my sisters My Little Pony videos and Carebear Videos. If I didnt know better I would SWEAR humidity really has it out for me..... these were precious relics from my childhood I will never be able to share with my daughter because of that fat old bitch. Pardon my French. Im PMSing and thinking of nada is icing on the cake!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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