Happy parenting!

[Guest guest]

Hello Friends,

We are in the middle of winter vacation. Oddly, it is supposed to be 54 degrees

today. This morning the household awoke to the usual rigors of walking the dog

and feeding children. The children clamored for the television and the next

hour saw them happily gyrating to the Wiggles video.

Time to get some work done. Dread--collect all the laundry and pitch it down

the stairs. Scoop out the half gallon of laundry soap that Evy dumped into the

wash machine. Start the laundry. What's that smell? Ethan!

Time to fix the computer. Unplug, de-static, remove CD drive. Yes, Evy, you

can help unscrew the disc drive. No, Ethan, you cannot put your toys inside the

computer. Exchange CD drives. Yes, Evy, you can help screw in the disc drive.

Walk the dog. What's that smell? Ethan!

Time to play in the backroom, boys. Yes, you can play with the bubble blower

machine. Yes, you can turn on the TV. Isaac, make sure the dog doesn't eat

your brothers. Evy, the squirt bottle is for the dog, it's not a toy. Isaac,

stop trying to kill flies with the bubble machine. No, you may not water the

plants with the spray bottle. It's for the dog. Are you kids OK? I have to

work on the computer now. Dog knocks over garbage. What's that smell? Ethan!

Sigh, quiet in the parlor. Time to write the bills. " Mom! MOM! " Journey to

the back room. " Evy broke his Bob the Builder toys! " Find two dripping toys

and large water stain on couch. Evy, the water bottle is for the DOG! " Mom, I

broke the toys! " Yes, Evy, you did. " Can you fix it? " I will try. See four

lonely cookies in formerly full package. Did you eat the whole package of

cookies, Isaac? Give some to Evy. Evy, we EAT the cookies, we don't scrape the

chocolate onto the floor! Dog knocks over garbage. Ethan, " Eat, eat! "

Pretzels for Ethan. Walk the dog. No more TV, it's time to play.

Back to parlor with kids following. Find the tiny screwdriver. Take apart

toys. Have to find the blow dryer. Darn, forgot to put the clothes in the

dryer. Change the clothes. Blow dry the toys. Aha, one works. Darn, other one

still broken. Return to parlor. Find uncapped permanent ink highlighter marker

on chair. Evy, where is the cap to Mommy's marker? Brings me second

highlighter, uncapped. Evy, these are Mommy's markers. Where are the caps?

Gone. Find saran wrap, cover the markers. Return to parlor. Dog bottom

suspiciously wet. Shove him in kennel. Can't find mess. Evy's bottom

suspiciously wet. Take off your pants, Evy. Don't tell him to put in laundry

room (don't feel like scooping out another half gallon of laundry soap). Evy

dresses himself (yea!). Aha, time to sit back down and finish bills. Sit down

at computer. My bottom becomes suspiciously wet. Oh no. Clean off seat--can't

be the dog, must have been the child. Where's the checkbook? On the floor?

Drat, the dog ate my check. Hey kids, let's watch TV! Sigh. And it's not even

noon. Happy Vacation!

t Burk, Professional Mom

pentaburks@...