RE: Won't interact with peers

[Guest guest]

I have found that one area of difficulty that keeps my sons away from peers

is the whole unpredictability of the peer. When we interact with them, we

tend to follow set patterns of reinforcement that they can anticipate

without fear. But if we don't teach them to tolerate change, and to accept

turn taking, giving up a toy to someone for short periods of time, to

tolerate rearrangement of items in a play scheme (e.g. " Let's build it this

way today " or " How about putting this piece here. " ). We might talk them

through (a la social stories) what they think a peer might do next if we do

this. I would set up some social interactions with just one peer (train the

peer what to do and expect), where the " game " was one in which the ASD kiddo

had full control what the peer would do (e.g. Simon Says) or where the

peer's behavior was controlled by something arbitrary, not chance (simple

card games, board games). Then I would fade in novelty and shared control

or peer control (turn taking with control, sharing etc). Make sure the

rules of the peer games are predictable at first (Hide and Seek, board and

card games), then you might slowly introduce different variations.

I really wouldn't expect successful social interaction in small group until

you have gotten past 1:1 with a peer. Remember how intimidating the

unpredictability of social groups can be, even for NT kids. They can learn

in small stages that they can be successful.

Good luck,

t Burk

Www.autismteachingtools.com

--

[Guest guest]

Here is what we did with our son. I hope it is helpful to you.

We found a friend with a typical child who was willing to help out

and had regular (2-3 times per week) playdates. (For the friend, it

was free babysitting) We had a therapist in the room with them. At

first there were very simple interactions. She told the NT kid to

offer my son a pretzel. He had to take it. We worked up from

there.... he'd have to ofer the pretzel to the other kid, he'd have

to speak with them... small spets.

He now is in a social skills class with other HF/AS kids, and they

are taught how to and practice playing together... how to approach

other kid and join in,... what to say if they say no,... how to

do " pretend play " ... playing WITH the peer not just near them. How

to resolve disagreements with peers, when to tell the teacher/when

not to, etc. How to judge whom to go play with and who not to.

He also attend a typical pre-school with a shadow who is well-trained

on social skills.

We have a rather detailed IEP about social skills. For example, it

says his means of peer approach will extend beyond his current " can I

play " to include using small talk and parallel to join in, etc.

We also did a lot to help with pretend play... if the other kids are

playing cops and robbers, and you can't do it, playing with them

sucks.

These are all things that typical kids learn organically that we had

to teach our son to do in a very direct manner. As he better

understood what to do with other kids, he became more willing and

eager to engage with them.

I hope this was helpful.

> I would like to get input from the group as well. My son is in the

same

> boat, although much younger.

>

> He is very high functioning and verbal, but chooses to play alone.

He is

> obsessed with letters, numbers, shapes & colors (he is Hyperlexic

also) and

> will go off by himself and play with these objects (which are not

that

> interesting to other kids).

>

> He will allow other children to approach him, but he never

approaches them.

> For instance, we dropped him off in the church nursery a couple of

weeks ago

> and when we picked him up and asked how everything went, they told

us " oh his

> was just fine. Very independent, didn't want much to do with any

of us

> though. " (we don't tell people he is autistic that we don't know

very well

> because it's not obvious with Dylan, but it's these sort of

comments that let

> me know he is still quite different from other 2 year olds).

>

> We are also just getting started with RDI and will be attending Dr.

> Gutstein's workshop in October here at UCLA. I take him to all

kinds of

> playgroups, Gymboree 2-3 times a week and expose him to lots of

other

> children his age. He is very interested in adults and older

children, but

> not his peers (which I know is common for autistic children). Any

ideas

> would be great. Thanks!

>

> Christy Crider (Dylan's Mom) 2.5 years old

> High Functioning Autistic, Hyperlexic & SID

> Corona, CA

> christycrider@a...

>

> From: khanvey <khanvey@m...>

> Subject: HelP!! My son can, but won't interact with peers.

>

> I need advice on how to get my My 4.9 y.o. son to interact with his

> peers. He has been in an ABA program for 2.5 years. He is high

> functioning and very verbal. He has been in a preschool setting

since

> he was 2.5 and appears to be very comfortable around peers.

>

> However, at school and during play dates, he prefers to play by

> himself. He will only interact if it is on his terms, and

something he

> wants to do (an activity that is usually very boring to the peer).

The

> more I or the peer prompt him to interact, the more resistant he

gets.

> If I prompt too much, he just leaves the room. Offering strong

> reinforcers doesn't help.

>

> Occasionally, if I set up and direct a really fun game, he will

join in

> and have fun, but only if he is in the right mood. At times I have

been

> able to get them doing something like coloring together, and then

back

> off, but that is the exception.

>

> I just started doing RDI with him, which is going well. I am

thinking

> about dropping the whole play date thing until we get further into

RDI,

> as I am tired of entertaining 5-year-olds while my son plays in

another

> room. I don't see that the play dates are doing anyone any good.

>

> Any suggestions?

>

> Thanks

>

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