Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Sometimes, I dont want to get up out of bed and its a fight each day. Sometimes I get almost suicidal with despair but I know its the pain and fatigue and hormones talking, so i take a pill and get unconscious. Things always get better after a good nights rest. Of course late into the night,when I am walking the floor, I look at the bed and say, okay its time for the sand man to come with his cocktail of pain and sleep meds and then all is right with the world. Ativan makes the world tolerable for me, and puts me into a deep lasting sleep. It helps with fibro, sleep and depression, so I take one at bedtime and all is well with the world in the A.M. Hang in everyone- Deborah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Hi everyone- Sometimes I remember as if it were a dream I once had, of the woman I used to be. Then I realize that I cant even do the things or be the woman I used to be a year ago both physically and psychologically. I just try to focus on keeping myself in a space where now and tomorrow are my only concern. I see people laughing and living their lives in so many different situations and I just dont care anymore. The things that are important to them are all superficial in my opinion. Its not what you have thats important its who you are. People fret and bemoan their fate when they are faced with things like which new SUV to buy. Which hairdresser to use, which self tanner wont make them streak. How to keep oneself on a diet. Those things used to be important to me a lifetime ago. Now I bemoan my fate when I drop a glass and it shatters everywhere but cant pick it up because I cant bend down, my eyes fill with tears because I need milk or juice or laundry detergent but cant pick up a half gallon. Try to latch my bra but cant because my fingers are too numb (front or back) and tie sneakers that come undone because it takes me forever. Bottles of anything that have tamper caps....GRRRR. I dont focus on who I used to be without RA because other current challenges (like dressing, shopping, driving, bathing, lifting, keeping a hobby) consume my everyday life. Focus on keeping yourself as healthy and flare-free as possible. Do the things you can do, but rest often and be good to yourself always. Find new things to interest you within your capacity, not scaling projects that are impossible now. Most important is to take one day of the month as a " ME " day. Something like going to dinner and a play, or giving yourself a day at a spa, or travel someplace you really wanted to. Do the things you can now, because overtime you may not be able to. Hugs, Deborah On 5/29/06, <kyrik@...> wrote: > I just keep going through this grieving process for the loss of what I> use to be able to do. Each day seems to bring about more changes. I > am on meds for the RA and seeing a rheumatologist, but this doesn't> help with the psychological aspect of it all.>> How do you all keep your spirits up? especially on the bad days?I'm going thru the grieving process, too but I think it's important to feel your feelings and realize that it *is* a process. Eventuallywe'll come to the " acceptance " part of it all :)Good luck, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Ardeith writes: I just realized I've lived with RA longer than I lived without it! That's scary......but I also just realized that maybe I won't have any more damaged or frozen joints because of all the new meds available.....that's good. Deborah wrote: Then I realize that I cant even do the things or be the woman I used to be a year ago both physically and psychologically. Ardeith writes: Bummer, ain't it? But who can you be now? What can you learn over the next year? A new craft your weakened hands can deal with? A new field of knowledge that doesn't require a perfect body? A new sex position that doesn't hurt and doesn't leave you crippled tomorrow? How many of your old activities can you still do if you sit? What new activities can you learn that can be done sitting? Deborah wrote: Now I bemoan my fate when I drop a glass and it shatters everywhere but cant pick it up because I cant bend down, Ardeith writes: I have a dustpan on the end of a stick.....see if you can find one.....shaped like a capitol L...so I don't need to bend over. Also, I use what I call my extra-arm.....a grabber on the end of a stick......really helps with picking up dropped things. And I found a magnet on the end of a telescoping thingy.....closes up to fit in a shirt pocket.... and comes in really handy when I drop a sewing pin, or embroidery needle. My Fred borrows it when he drops a metal part under the car. Deborah wrote: my eyes fill with tears because I need milk or juice or laundry detergent but cant pick up a half gallon. Ardeith writes: So buy these things in smaller containers, or put them in smaller containers when you get them home..........and if you have a problem lifting a gallon of milk or juice to pour into a smaller container.....ask some- one to help you! I had the devil's own time learning that it was OK to ask for help!!!!!! Deborah wrote: Try to latch my bra but cant because my fingers are too numb (front or back) Ardeith writes: If you don't have to wear a bra, don't. I know some jobs require you to present a professional appearance....and bouncing boobs don't quite do that.....but if you can get by with it, don't wear one of those torture devices. If you work and have to do the appearance thing, you might try looser blouses or tops, with a slip under them to hide your nipples. I can fasten the ones that hook in front, but the tendons between my neck and shoulder won't stand for the straps over them. I can't even wear a necklace anymore. Yeah, I know your breasts will droop, but age will take care of that eventually, anyway. My sixty-six year old cousin who had size A breasts is the only older woman I know who still has perky boobs. Oh, yeah....I saw tank tops in a Layne catalog that had built in shelf bras......and I have one daughter who wears pull on sports bras, but I have a problem with pulling on tight stuff....... Deborah wrote: and tie sneakers that come undone because it takes me forever. Ardeith writes: I tied my sneakers loosely.....and then tied them like I used to tie my kids' sneakers.......you know....take the big rabbit ears and tie them together.......I can slip them on and off without dealing with laces.....and the soles protect my feet when I have to do a lot of walking on concrete....... Deborah wrote: Bottles of anything that have tamper caps....GRRRR. Ardeith writes: I used to have to ask my six year old to open my pill bottles for me! So much for child-proof caps......they were Ardy-proof! Now my pharmacist puts snap on caps on my meds so the only time I have problems is with OTC stuff....... And don't forget.....when you apply lotion to your hands, thank them for all the things they will puiklhh (sorry, kitten trying out WordPurrfect)..... all the things they will still let you do...... Ardy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Thanks for the encouragement , I am having a really rough week and feeling so alone. It really helps to know that I am not. <kyrik@...> wrote: > I just keep going through this grieving process for the loss of what I > use to be able to do. Each day seems to bring about more changes. I > am on meds for the RA and seeing a rheumatologist, but this doesn't > help with the psychological aspect of it all. > > How do you all keep your spirits up? especially on the bad days? I'm going thru the grieving process, too but I think it's importantto feel your feelings and realize that it *is* a process. Eventuallywe'll come to the "acceptance" part of it all :)Good luck, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Deborah, thanks for the encouragement. " Things " do become less important when you don't have the best of health. I would love to do a few relaxing things, such as a spa, but I am no longer employed and my husband has no medical plan at work, so money is pretty tight. I am going to attempt to get some disability, which would take a lot of stress from us, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to. It is funny how I was such a strong woman and now I am looking at stairs as a challenge. I am a fairly hyper person and like to be doing something all of the time, I think that is why I find it so difficult. I don't do well at being a " couch potato " and tend to overdo things all of the time. This is still quite new to me since I've only been diagnosed for a little over a year (although I know it started long before that) > > > > > I just keep going through this grieving process for the loss of what I > > > use to be able to do. Each day seems to bring about more changes. I > > > am on meds for the RA and seeing a rheumatologist, but this doesn't > > > help with the psychological aspect of it all. > > > > > > How do you all keep your spirits up? especially on the bad days? > > > > I'm going thru the grieving process, too but I think it's important > > to feel your feelings and realize that it *is* a process. Eventually > > we'll come to the " acceptance " part of it all > > > > Good luck, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Hi Deborah I can feel for you, when I was in my early 20's upn to my 40th I was never in. I was either cycling or walking to places that were miles away just for doing it but now, its a marathon going to the kitchen lol. If I've forgotten something in another room then it stays there until I can think of a reason for going bac in there lol but on a good day I do tend to push myself to the pain barrier and pay for it later so I feel for you hon and if you need a friend or a shoulder to help you through the day then let me know I'm here for you Debbie Phil in the uk ----- Original Message ----- From: Deborah Bargad Rheumatoid Arthritis Sent: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 8:07 PM Subject: Re: grieving Hi everyone- Sometimes I remember as if it were a dream I once had, of the woman I used to be. Then I realize that I cant even do the things or be the woman I used to be a year ago both physically and psychologically. I just try to focus on keeping myself in a space where now and tomorrow are my only concern. I see people laughing and living their lives in so many different situations and I just dont care anymore. The things that are important to them are all superficial in my opinion. Its not what you have thats important its who you are. People fret and bemoan their fate when they are faced with things like which new SUV to buy. Which hairdresser to use, which self tanner wont make them streak. How to keep oneself on a diet. Those things used to be important to me a lifetime ago. Now I bemoan my fate when I drop a glass and it shatters everywhere but cant pick it up because I cant bend down, my eyes fill with tears because I need milk or juice or laundry detergent but cant pick up a half gallon. Try to latch my bra but cant because my fingers are too numb (front or back) and tie sneakers that come undone because it takes me forever. Bottles of anything that have tamper caps....GRRRR. I dont focus on who I used to be without RA because other current challenges (like dressing, shopping, driving, bathing, lifting, keeping a hobby) consume my everyday life. Focus on keeping yourself as healthy and flare-free as possible. Do the things you can do, but rest often and be good to yourself always. Find new things to interest you within your capacity, not scaling projects that are impossible now. Most important is to take one day of the month as a "ME" day. Something like going to dinner and a play, or giving yourself a day at a spa, or travel someplace you really wanted to. Do the things you can now, because overtime you may not be able to. Hugs, Deborah On 5/29/06, <kyrik@...> wrote: > I just keep going through this grieving process for the loss of what I> use to be able to do. Each day seems to bring about more changes. I > am on meds for the RA and seeing a rheumatologist, but this doesn't> help with the psychological aspect of it all.>> How do you all keep your spirits up? especially on the bad days?I'm going thru the grieving process, too but I think it's important to feel your feelings and realize that it *is* a process. Eventuallywe'll come to the "acceptance" part of it all :)Good luck, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Thanks alot Ardeith, Lovely name by the way, for that insightful commentary. Its nice to know I am not alone here and will take your suggestions to heart. Hugs, Deborah On 5/30/06, Ardeith <ardeith@...> wrote: Ardeith writes: I just realized I've lived with RA longer than I lived without it! That's scary......but I also just realized that maybe I won't have any more damaged or frozen joints because of all the new meds available.....that's good. Deborah wrote: Then I realize that I cant even do the things or be the woman I used to be a year ago both physically and psychologically. Ardeith writes: Bummer, ain't it? But who can you be now? What can you learn over the next year? A new craft your weakened hands can deal with? A new field of knowledge that doesn't require a perfect body? A new sex position that doesn't hurt and doesn't leave you crippled tomorrow? How many of your old activities can you still do if you sit? What new activities can you learn that can be done sitting? Deborah wrote: Now I bemoan my fate when I drop a glass and it shatters everywhere but cant pick it up because I cant bend down, Ardeith writes: I have a dustpan on the end of a stick.....see if you can find one.....shaped like a capitol L...so I don't need to bend over. Also, I use what I call my extra-arm.....a grabber on the end of a stick......really helps with picking up dropped things. And I found a magnet on the end of a telescoping thingy.....closes up to fit in a shirt pocket.... and comes in really handy when I drop a sewing pin, or embroidery needle. My Fred borrows it when he drops a metal part under the car. Deborah wrote: my eyes fill with tears because I need milk or juice or laundry detergent but cant pick up a half gallon. Ardeith writes: So buy these things in smaller containers, or put them in smaller containers when you get them home..........and if you have a problem lifting a gallon of milk or juice to pour into a smaller container.....ask some- one to help you! I had the devil's own time learning that it was OK to ask for help!!!!!! Deborah wrote: Try to latch my bra but cant because my fingers are too numb (front or back) Ardeith writes: If you don't have to wear a bra, don't. I know some jobs require you to present a professional appearance....and bouncing boobs don't quite do that.....but if you can get by with it, don't wear one of those torture devices. If you work and have to do the appearance thing, you might try looser blouses or tops, with a slip under them to hide your nipples. I can fasten the ones that hook in front, but the tendons between my neck and shoulder won't stand for the straps over them. I can't even wear a necklace anymore. Yeah, I know your breasts will droop, but age will take care of that eventually, anyway. My sixty-six year old cousin who had size A breasts is the only older woman I know who still has perky boobs. Oh, yeah....I saw tank tops in a Layne catalog that had built in shelf bras......and I have one daughter who wears pull on sports bras, but I have a problem with pulling on tight stuff....... Deborah wrote: and tie sneakers that come undone because it takes me forever. Ardeith writes: I tied my sneakers loosely.....and then tied them like I used to tie my kids' sneakers.......you know....take the big rabbit ears and tie them together.......I can slip them on and off without dealing with laces.....and the soles protect my feet when I have to do a lot of walking on concrete....... Deborah wrote: Bottles of anything that have tamper caps....GRRRR. Ardeith writes: I used to have to ask my six year old to open my pill bottles for me! So much for child-proof caps......they were Ardy-proof! Now my pharmacist puts snap on caps on my meds so the only time I have problems is with OTC stuff....... And don't forget.....when you apply lotion to your hands, thank them for all the things they will puiklhh (sorry, kitten trying out WordPurrfect)..... all the things they will still let you do...... Ardy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2007 Report Share Posted September 1, 2007 This is a good post and good info to know and keep. I lost my grandmother 1 1/2 years ago and I seemed to really go down hill after this esp when it was my first time helping someone pass. It is as if I have lost faith that there is anything after this life even though I've lived a life that has proven the opposite. Also I'd like to mention that there are many forms of grief that probably have all these symptoms, Grief over; loss of health, divorce, of self etc.....I have every one of these symptoms except two of them. Also there is a fine line between depression and grief or even a co- occurance. > > Grieving > > You Know You're Grieving When You..... > > * Have difficulty concentrating and making decisions - short > attention spans > * Are absent minded - forgetful > * Are irritable - easily angered - bothered by little things > * Experience shortness of breath - tightness in throat - heaviness > in chest > * Have difficulty sleeping or sometimes sleep more than usual > * Feel distant, separate or different from others - " Like observing > from afar " . > * Feel alone, no matter how many people are present > * Feel lost, without direction or adrift > * Cry at unexpected times and often over something unrelated things > * Find yourself working abnormally long hours > * Sometimes feel like you have no energy and don't want to do > anything > * Are angry towards family or friends over things said or not said > * Have no interest in things you used to enjoy > * Review your past and friendships/ opportunities lost > * Feel old or worthless and of no value to others > * Find most conversations boring, superficial or trivial > * Feel listening to others complain is sometimes too much to handle > * Want to change careers or job, residence, friends, spouse, etc > * Replay over and over what happened - who said what - who did what > > How to Help Grieving People > > * Allthat is necessary is a squeeze of the hand, a kiss, or a hug, > your presence is the most important aspect. If you want to say > something,say " I'm sorry " or " I care " . > * Help to offer with practical matter, errands. > * Don'tbe afraid to cry openly if you were close to the deceased. > Often the bereaved find themselves comforting you, but at the same time > they understand your tears and don't feel so alone in their grief. > * It is not necessary to ask questions about how the death happened. > Just offer " Would you like to talk? I'll listen " > * Don't say, " I know just how you feel " > * The bereaved may ask , " Why? " It is often a cry of pain rather > than a question. It is not necessary to answer but if you do, you may > reply, " I don't know why. " > * Don't use platitudes like , " Life is for the living " or " It's > God's will.? Explanations rarely console. It's better to say nothing. > * Recognize that the bereaved may be angry. They may be angry at > God, the person who died, the clergy, doctors, rescue teams, and other > family members.Encourage them to acknowledge their anger and to find > healthy ways of handling it. > * Be available to listen often. Do not avoid using the name of the > person who has died > * Be PATIENT. Don't say, " You will get over it in time " . Mourning > may take along time. The bereaved need you to stand by them for as long > as necessary. Encourage them to be patient with themselves. > * Accept whatever feelings are expressed. Encourage them to express > their feelings - cry, hit a pillow, scream, etc. > * Be aware that a bereaved person's self-esteem may be low. > * When someone feels guilty and is filled with " if only " it is not > helpful to say, " don't feel guilty " . This only adds to their negative > view of themselves. They would handle it better if they could. One > response could be, " I don't think your guilty. You did the best you > could at the time, but don't push down your feelings of guilt. Talk > about it until you can let it go. " > * Depressions often a part of grief. To be able to talk things over > with an understanding friend, or loved one is one factor that may help > prevent a person from becoming severely depressed. > * Give special attention to the children in the family. DO NOT tell > them not to cry or not to upset the adults. > * Suggest the bereaved person keep a journal. > * The bereaved may appear to be getting worse. Be aware this is > often due to the reality of the death hitting them. > * Be aware of physical reactions to the death ( lack of > appetite,sleeplessness, headaches, inability to concentrate) These > affect the person's coping ability, energy and recovery. > * Be aware of the use of drugs or alcohol. > * Sometimes the pain of bereavement is so intense that thoughts of > suicide occur. Try to be a confiding friend. > * Don't say, " It has been 4 months, 6 months, 1 year, etc. You must > be over it by now. " Life will never be the same as before. > * Encourage counseling if grief is getting out of hand. > * Suggest that grieving people take part in a support group. > * Suggest that bereaved people postpone major decisions such as > moving, giving everything away, etc. > * Exercise to help work off bottled up tension and anger is great > for the grieving person. > * Practice unconditional love. Feelings of rage, anger and > frustration are not pleasant to observe or listen to, but it is > necessary for the bereaved to recognize and work on these feelings in > order to work through the grief, rather than become stuck in one phase. > * Don't avoid the bereaved. This adds to their loss. > > Resources > > Death : http://members.aol.com/_ht_a/Jeri10/Death.html > <http://members.aol.com/_ht_a/Jeri10/Death.html> > > Compassionate Friends : www.compassionatefriends.org > <http://www.compassionatefriends.org/> > > Hugs, Help and Hope from Angel Hugs : www.angelfire.com/or/angelhugs/ > <http://www.angelfire.com/or/angelhugs/> > > GROWW : www.groww.com <http://www.groww.com/> > > Bereaved Parents of the USA: http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/ > <http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/> Bereaved Parents of the USA is a > nationwide organization designed toaid and support bereaved parents and > their families who are strugglingto survive their grief after the death > of a child. > > Bereavement - A Sympathy Sharing Site: http://www.bereavement.com/ > <http://www.bereavement.com/> > > Compassion Connection: http://www.death-dying.com/ > <http://www.death-dying.com/> > > Life Files On Line Memorial Services: http://www.lifefiles.com/ > <http://www.lifefiles.com/> -An interactive living memorial that > remembers loved ones, connectsfamilies, and celebrates life. Site > offers: Guest book, photo gallery,sharing memories, Family Forum message > board > > GriefNet.org: http://www.griefnet.org/ <http://www.griefnet.org/> - > GriefNet.org is an Internet community of persons dealing with grief, > death, and major loss. We have 47 e-mail support groups > <http://www.griefnet.org/support/sg2.html> and two web sites. Our > integrated approach to on-line grief supportprovides help to people > working through loss and grief issues of manykinds. Our companion site, > KIDSAID <http://www.kidsaid.com/> , provides a safe environment for kids > and their parents to find information and ask questions. GriefNet is > directed by Cendra (ken'dra) Lynn, Ph.D > <http://www.griefnet.org/about/cendra.html> ., a clinical grief > psychologist, death educator, and traumatologist who lives in Michigan, > USA. Supported by a dedicatedteam of volunteers, and by the generous > donations of its users,GriefNet is operated as a non-profit corporation > under the nameRivendell Resources. > > Grief Loss & Recovery - http://www.grieflossrecovery.com/ > <http://www.grieflossrecovery.com/> > > Grief Song - Healing the Loss with : > http://www.griefsong.com/ <http://www.griefsong.com/> > > In Loving Memory - http://www.inlovingmemoryonline.org/ > <http://www.inlovingmemoryonline.org/> - In Loving Memory is an > organization dedicated to helping parents cope with the death of their > only child or all of their children. In Loving Memorybelieves that one > of the best ways to remember our children and toreinvest, is to help > others. It was in the spirit of helping otherparents like themselves > that In Loving Memory was created. In Loving Memoryhelps parents find, > in the love for their deceased children, thestrength to continue with > their own lives. It is the Nielsen's tributeto the memory of their > precious . > > Center for Grief Education - Melbourne, Australia - > http://www.grief.org.au/ <http://www.grief.org.au/> - Thesite has > details of our free bereavement counseling service, links tomany other > grief related web sites, information on the peer-reviewedjournal Grief > Matters: The Australian Journal of Grief and Bereavement,an extensive > listing of free and low cost grief counseling services in, > details on projects conducted by the Center, informationabout membership > benefits, recent media releases, grief supportinformation and products > that can be purchased from the Center. The Center for Grief Education is > an independent, not for profit organization which opened in January 1996 > and is the largest providerof grief and bereavement education in > Australia. Registered as a public benevolent institution the Center > receives operational funding through the state palliative care program > of the n Department of Human Services > <http://www.dhs.vic.gov.au/> . > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Hi, I think that you have made such a valid point and anyone who is considering having a band really needs to hear your story. I know you must be in a lot of emotional pain. You have done nothing wrong. You did all the right things. Now you are just hitting a small bump in the road. You are on the right track, you know what you need to do, to get back to where you were. The sleeve will be your last and final tool that you need to be healthy and at your goal weight again. Be proud that you just didn't say "oh well" I will just be fat again. You needed to take care of your medical needs first. Now you know the path to the weight loss that you will get back there and that is having the sleeve surgery. You will be so much happier with the sleeve and it will be so easy for you to do. Go to a resale place and find some cute clothes--dress nice even if you have put some of the weight back on--weight does not define who you are, don't spend a lot of money on them, and just hold on to the clothes that you are unable to use right now. This really is a medical issue and nothing more. I know that it is difficult for you and I hear what you are saying. So please understand we are hear for you. I want you to tell people about the problems you had with the band, they really need to hear your story and how it effected your medical safety. Other people will make a better choice because you are willing to share your story with them. I have never had a band, but I know when I first started this adventure and I read some of these stories about the issues with the band, I knew it wasn't for me. Not everyone has the information, so keep telling your wonderful brave story. This is ALL about your and being healthy and you are going to be there one of these days. Hang in there keep coming back and talking with us. We really do care about your safety and health! Hugs, Suzanne 225 134 125 Start Now Goal 10/21/08 Sleeved In a message dated 11/9/2009 7:37:05 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, r_waden@... writes: Hi:I realized today that I am grieving the loss of my band. I had to have my band removed in August due to a slippage and ever since then my weight has been slowing creeping back up. I recognized that I had been somewhat down in the dumps and thought it was just due to the stress of having to watch my weight every second but realized today that I am grieving. I had lost the weight, gotten down to goal and I thought I didn't have to worry about my weight anymore. I thought the band would be forever and then the unthinkable happened. I have been trying to maintain but it is hard. I can honestly say that I have learned habits that have stuck with me but my lifestyle has not changed. I am still very busy and eat on the run. I try to eat healthy but getting in exercise is a chore. I try to incorporate it into my normal day by parking further away or taking the stairs. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am gaining the weight back and I don't want to see anyone because I don't want to have to explain. I can't wear any of my clothes anymore and I just don't want to buy new ones but I am going to have to. I'm just devastated. I figure if anyone can understand what I am going through those of you who have had a band fail or trouble with your band would know. I don't think my family and friends can understand. I so wanted to be able to maintain the weight on my own but I am the rule and not the exception when it comes to regaining weight. I am planning to have the sleeve because I can't see all that hard work that I did losing the weight go down the drain. I know the average person thinks, "you didn't do any work, you had surgery." But surgery or not it is still work. Well, thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to put words to what I am feeling. Thank goodness for this board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 I sent a reply directly to your email address. Your situation is well understood here and we know you will prevail. Hang in there. You're doing the best you can and you will get the sleeve and things will turn around again. Get some new clothes and save the old ones. You'll be back into them in no time. LJ From: r_waden <r_waden@...>Subject: Grieving Date: Sunday, November 8, 2009, 10:55 PM Hi:I realized today that I am grieving the loss of my band. I had to have my band removed in August due to a slippage and ever since then my weight has been slowing creeping back up. I recognized that I had been somewhat down in the dumps and thought it was just due to the stress of having to watch my weight every second but realized today that I am grieving. I had lost the weight, gotten down to goal and I thought I didn't have to worry about my weight anymore. I thought the band would be forever and then the unthinkable happened. I have been trying to maintain but it is hard. I can honestly say that I have learned habits that have stuck with me but my lifestyle has not changed. I am still very busy and eat on the run. I try to eat healthy but getting in exercise is a chore. I try to incorporate it into my normal day by parking further away or taking the stairs. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am gaining the weight back and I don't want to see anyone because I don't want to have to explain. I can't wear any of my clothes anymore and I just don't want to buy new ones but I am going to have to. I'm just devastated. I figure if anyone can understand what I am going through those of you who have had a band fail or trouble with your band would know. I don't think my family and friends can understand. I so wanted to be able to maintain the weight on my own but I am the rule and not the exception when it comes to regaining weight. I am planning to have the sleeve because I can't see all that hard work that I did losing the weight go down the drain. I know the average person thinks, "you didn't do any work, you had surgery." But surgery or not it is still work. Well, thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to put words to what I am feeling. Thank goodness for this board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Get the sleeve as fast and you can and just keep trying. Jo From: ljhans5@...Date: Mon, 9 Nov 2009 11:19:40 -0800Subject: Re: Grieving I sent a reply directly to your email address. Your situation is well understood here and we know you will prevail. Hang in there. You're doing the best you can and you will get the sleeve and things will turn around again. Get some new clothes and save the old ones. You'll be back into them in no time. LJ From: r_waden <r_waden >Subject: Grieving Date: Sunday, November 8, 2009, 10:55 PM Hi:I realized today that I am grieving the loss of my band. I had to have my band removed in August due to a slippage and ever since then my weight has been slowing creeping back up. I recognized that I had been somewhat down in the dumps and thought it was just due to the stress of having to watch my weight every second but realized today that I am grieving. I had lost the weight, gotten down to goal and I thought I didn't have to worry about my weight anymore. I thought the band would be forever and then the unthinkable happened. I have been trying to maintain but it is hard. I can honestly say that I have learned habits that have stuck with me but my lifestyle has not changed. I am still very busy and eat on the run. I try to eat healthy but getting in exercise is a chore. I try to incorporate it into my normal day by parking further away or taking the stairs. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am gaining the weight back and I don't want to see anyone because I don't want to have to explain. I can't wear any of my clothes anymore and I just don't want to buy new ones but I am going to have to. I'm just devastated. I figure if anyone can understand what I am going through those of you who have had a band fail or trouble with your band would know. I don't think my family and friends can understand. I so wanted to be able to maintain the weight on my own but I am the rule and not the exception when it comes to regaining weight. I am planning to have the sleeve because I can't see all that hard work that I did losing the weight go down the drain. I know the average person thinks, "you didn't do any work, you had surgery." But surgery or not it is still work. Well, thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to put words to what I am feeling. Thank goodness for this board. Find the right PC with Windows 7 and Windows Live. Learn more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2009 Report Share Posted November 10, 2009 I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you. I have been having band trouble too and a Dr. in the US said "we will go in and look at what is going on and probably take your band". I was sick!!! Sick, sick!!! I pictured all the struggles coming back, the weight, having to buy new clothes, all the horrible things you are having to deal with!!! I'm so sorry! With Dr. Compos's help, I'm doing liquids for a month or more and trying to prevent a slip, we will do a follow up Upper GI and decide if I do have a slip at that time. UGH!! I can understand your pain and empathize with you. Do you know how long it will be before you can get sleeved? I will say a prayer for you that it is soon and try to encourage you to hang in there until that time. People who say we have taken the "easy way out" have never had WLS! God Bless, Cyrena DOB: 1/19/07240/132/150start/now/goalFrom: r_waden <r_waden@...> Sent: Mon, November 9, 2009 12:55:08 AMSubject: Grieving Hi: I realized today that I am grieving the loss of my band. I had to have my band removed in August due to a slippage and ever since then my weight has been slowing creeping back up. I recognized that I had been somewhat down in the dumps and thought it was just due to the stress of having to watch my weight every second but realized today that I am grieving. I had lost the weight, gotten down to goal and I thought I didn't have to worry about my weight anymore. I thought the band would be forever and then the unthinkable happened. I have been trying to maintain but it is hard. I can honestly say that I have learned habits that have stuck with me but my lifestyle has not changed. I am still very busy and eat on the run. I try to eat healthy but getting in exercise is a chore. I try to incorporate it into my normal day by parking further away or taking the stairs. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am gaining the weight back and I don't want to see anyone because I don't want to have to explain. I can't wear any of my clothes anymore and I just don't want to buy new ones but I am going to have to. I'm just devastated. I figure if anyone can understand what I am going through those of you who have had a band fail or trouble with your band would know. I don't think my family and friends can understand. I so wanted to be able to maintain the weight on my own but I am the rule and not the exception when it comes to regaining weight. I am planning to have the sleeve because I can't see all that hard work that I did losing the weight go down the drain. I know the average person thinks, "you didn't do any work, you had surgery." But surgery or not it is still work. Well, thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to put words to what I am feeling. Thank goodness for this board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2009 Report Share Posted November 10, 2009 OK, here are a couple of things. What do you think about contacting MX and talking to them. What ever this persons problem is she was put on liquids. Just a thought. Sounds as if you might be better tho and if youwatch closer what you do in evenings it might level out. Just a thought about MX. I think you mentioned it before too. From: Cyrena Weeks <cyrenaweeks@...> Sent: Tue, November 10, 2009 10:02:55 AMSubject: Re: Grieving I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you. I have been having band trouble too and a Dr. in the US said "we will go in and look at what is going on and probably take your band". I was sick!!! Sick, sick!!! I pictured all the struggles coming back, the weight, having to buy new clothes, all the horrible things you are having to deal with!!! I'm so sorry! With Dr. Compos's help, I'm doing liquids for a month or more and trying to prevent a slip, we will do a follow up Upper GI and decide if I do have a slip at that time. UGH!! I can understand your pain and empathize with you. Do you know how long it will be before you can get sleeved? I will say a prayer for you that it is soon and try to encourage you to hang in there until that time. People who say we have taken the "easy way out" have never had WLS! God Bless, Cyrena DOB: 1/19/07240/132/150start/now/goal From: r_waden <r_waden (DOT) com> @groups. comSent: Mon, November 9, 2009 12:55:08 AMSubject: Grieving Hi:I realized today that I am grieving the loss of my band. I had to have my band removed in August due to a slippage and ever since then my weight has been slowing creeping back up. I recognized that I had been somewhat down in the dumps and thought it was just due to the stress of having to watch my weight every second but realized today that I am grieving. I had lost the weight, gotten down to goal and I thought I didn't have to worry about my weight anymore. I thought the band would be forever and then the unthinkable happened. I have been trying to maintain but it is hard. I can honestly say that I have learned habits that have stuck with me but my lifestyle has not changed. I am still very busy and eat on the run. I try to eat healthy but getting in exercise is a chore. I try to incorporate it into my normal day by parking further away or taking the stairs. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am gaining the weight back and I don't want to see anyone because I don't want to have to explain. I can't wear any of my clothes anymore and I just don't want to buy new ones but I am going to have to. I'm just devastated. I figure if anyone can understand what I am going through those of you who have had a band fail or trouble with your band would know. I don't think my family and friends can understand. I so wanted to be able to maintain the weight on my own but I am the rule and not the exception when it comes to regaining weight. I am planning to have the sleeve because I can't see all that hard work that I did losing the weight go down the drain. I know the average person thinks, "you didn't do any work, you had surgery." But surgery or not it is still work. Well, thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to put words to what I am feeling. Thank goodness for this board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2009 Report Share Posted November 10, 2009 I think i might be on the way.... if i can keep the stress down ect..... I do think i am going to buy another pillow.. may go do that today...... it i get to going again i might see if doc won't order an uper gi so i can see if things are wrong.. or if i keep at this pass maybe schedule a quick day trip to mx to get a check... maybe that should be a trip.. and stay down that area for our day trip... sonia ________________________________From: Carol Nielsen <carolnphx2@...> Sent: Tue, November 10, 2009 12:40:34 PMSubject: Re: Grieving OK, here are a couple of things. What do you think about contacting MX and talking to them. What ever this persons problem is she was put on liquids. Just a thought. Sounds as if you might be better tho and if youwatch closer what you do in evenings it might level out. Just a thought about MX. I think you mentioned it before too. ________________________________From: Cyrena Weeks <cyrenaweeks> @groups. comSent: Tue, November 10, 2009 10:02:55 AMSubject: Re: Grieving I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you. I have been having band trouble too and a Dr. in the US said "we will go in and look at what is going on and probably take your band". I was sick!!! Sick, sick!!! I pictured all the struggles coming back, the weight, having to buy new clothes, all the horrible things you are having to deal with!!! I'm so sorry! With Dr. Compos's help, I'm doing liquids for a month or more and trying to prevent a slip, we will do a follow up Upper GI and decide if I do have a slip at that time. UGH!! I can understand your pain and empathize with you. Do you know how long it will be before you can get sleeved? I will say a prayer for you that it is soon and try to encourage you to hang in there until that time. People who say we have taken the "easy way out" have never had WLS! God Bless,Cyrena DOB: 1/19/07240/132/150start/now/goal________________________________From: r_waden <r_waden (DOT) com> @groups. comSent: Mon, November 9, 2009 12:55:08 AMSubject: Grieving Hi:I realized today that I am grieving the loss of my band. I had to have my band removed in August due to a slippage and ever since then my weight has been slowing creeping back up. I recognized that I had been somewhat down in the dumps and thought it was just due to the stress of having to watch my weight every second but realized today that I am grieving. I had lost the weight, gotten down to goal and I thought I didn't have to worry about my weight anymore. I thought the band would be forever and then the unthinkable happened. I have been trying to maintain but it is hard. I can honestly say that I have learned habits that have stuck with me but my lifestyle has not changed. I am still very busy and eat on the run. I try to eat healthy but getting in exercise is a chore. I try to incorporate it into my normal day by parking further away or taking the stairs. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am gaining the weight back and I don't want to see anyone because I don't want to have to explain. I can't wear any of my clothes anymore and I just don't want to buy new ones but I am going to have to. I'm just devastated. I figure if anyone can understand what I am going through those of you who have had a band fail or trouble with your band would know. I don't think my family and friends can understand. I so wanted to be able to maintain the weight on my own but I am the rule and not the exception when it comes to regaining weight. I am planning to have the sleeve because I can't see all that hard work that I did losing the weight go down the drain. I know the average person thinks, "you didn't do any work, you had surgery." But surgery or not it is still work. Well, thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to put words to what I am feeling. Thank goodness for this board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2009 Report Share Posted November 10, 2009 That would be OK here. From: sonia larimore <kssooner@...> Sent: Tue, November 10, 2009 2:17:24 PMSubject: Re: Grieving I think i might be on the way.... if i can keep the stress down ect..... I do think i am going to buy another pillow.. may go do that today...... it i get to going again i might see if doc won't order an uper gi so i can see if things are wrong.. or if i keep at this pass maybe schedule a quick day trip to mx to get a check... maybe that should be a trip.. and stay down that area for our day trip... sonia ________________________________From: Carol Nielsen <carolnphx2@...> Sent: Tue, November 10, 2009 12:40:34 PMSubject: Re: Grieving OK, here are a couple of things. What do you think about contacting MX and talking to them. What ever this persons problem is she was put on liquids. Just a thought. Sounds as if you might be better tho and if youwatch closer what you do in evenings it might level out. Just a thought about MX. I think you mentioned it before too. ________________________________From: Cyrena Weeks <cyrenaweeks> @groups. comSent: Tue, November 10, 2009 10:02:55 AMSubject: Re: Grieving I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you. I have been having band trouble too and a Dr. in the US said "we will go in and look at what is going on and probably take your band". I was sick!!! Sick, sick!!! I pictured all the struggles coming back, the weight, having to buy new clothes, all the horrible things you are having to deal with!!! I'm so sorry! With Dr. Compos's help, I'm doing liquids for a month or more and trying to prevent a slip, we will do a follow up Upper GI and decide if I do have a slip at that time. UGH!! I can understand your pain and empathize with you. Do you know how long it will be before you can get sleeved? I will say a prayer for you that it is soon and try to encourage you to hang in there until that time. People who say we have taken the "easy way out" have never had WLS! God Bless,Cyrena DOB: 1/19/07240/132/150start/now/goal________________________________From: r_waden <r_waden (DOT) com> @groups. comSent: Mon, November 9, 2009 12:55:08 AMSubject: Grieving Hi:I realized today that I am grieving the loss of my band. I had to have my band removed in August due to a slippage and ever since then my weight has been slowing creeping back up. I recognized that I had been somewhat down in the dumps and thought it was just due to the stress of having to watch my weight every second but realized today that I am grieving. I had lost the weight, gotten down to goal and I thought I didn't have to worry about my weight anymore. I thought the band would be forever and then the unthinkable happened. I have been trying to maintain but it is hard. I can honestly say that I have learned habits that have stuck with me but my lifestyle has not changed. I am still very busy and eat on the run. I try to eat healthy but getting in exercise is a chore. I try to incorporate it into my normal day by parking further away or taking the stairs. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am gaining the weight back and I don't want to see anyone because I don't want to have to explain. I can't wear any of my clothes anymore and I just don't want to buy new ones but I am going to have to. I'm just devastated. I figure if anyone can understand what I am going through those of you who have had a band fail or trouble with your band would know. I don't think my family and friends can understand. I so wanted to be able to maintain the weight on my own but I am the rule and not the exception when it comes to regaining weight. I am planning to have the sleeve because I can't see all that hard work that I did losing the weight go down the drain. I know the average person thinks, "you didn't do any work, you had surgery." But surgery or not it is still work. Well, thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to put words to what I am feeling. Thank goodness for this board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2009 Report Share Posted November 12, 2009 I wanted to thank everyone for their supportive comments. Just talking about it made me feel better and your replies let me know that I am not alone. I am sorry that you are having problems with your band. I plan to get sleeved in January. I will keep you in my prayers also. Peace and Blessings Rosita DOB: 02/2007 209/140/115 Band removed: 8/2009 151/170 > > I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you. I have been having band trouble too and a Dr. in the US said " we will go in and look at what is going on and probably take your band " . I was sick!!! Sick, sick!!! I pictured all the struggles coming back, the weight, having to buy new clothes, all the horrible things you are having to deal with!!! I'm so sorry! With Dr. Compos's help, I'm doing liquids for a month or more and trying to prevent a slip, we will do a follow up Upper GI and decide if I do have a slip at that time. UGH!! I can understand your pain and empathize with you. Do you know how long it will be before you can get sleeved? I will say a prayer for you that it is soon and try to encourage you to hang in there until that time. People who say we have taken the " easy way out " have never had WLS! > > God Bless, > > Cyrena > DOB: 1/19/07 > 240/132/150 > start/now/goal > > > > > ________________________________ > From: r_waden <r_waden@...> > > Sent: Mon, November 9, 2009 12:55:08 AM > Subject: Grieving > > > Hi: > > I realized today that I am grieving the loss of my band. I had to have my band removed in August due to a slippage and ever since then my weight has been slowing creeping back up. I recognized that I had been somewhat down in the dumps and thought it was just due to the stress of having to watch my weight every second but realized today that I am grieving. I had lost the weight, gotten down to goal and I thought I didn't have to worry about my weight anymore. I thought the band would be forever and then the unthinkable happened. I have been trying to maintain but it is hard. I can honestly say that I have learned habits that have stuck with me but my lifestyle has not changed. I am still very busy and eat on the run. I try to eat healthy but getting in exercise is a chore. I try to incorporate it into my normal day by parking further away or taking the stairs. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am gaining the weight back and I don't want to see > anyone because I don't want to have to explain. I can't wear any of my clothes anymore and I just don't want to buy new ones but I am going to have to. I'm just devastated. I figure if anyone can understand what I am going through those of you who have had a band fail or trouble with your band would know. I don't think my family and friends can understand. I so wanted to be able to maintain the weight on my own but I am the rule and not the exception when it comes to regaining weight. I am planning to have the sleeve because I can't see all that hard work that I did losing the weight go down the drain. I know the average person thinks, " you didn't do any work, you had surgery. " But surgery or not it is still work. Well, thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to put words to what I am feeling. Thank goodness for this board. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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