[DSALF] An Open Letter to Ben Stiller about Tropic Thunder

[Guest guest]

Passing this on from another listserv:

KathyR

An Open Letter to Ben Stiller about Tropic Thunder

Imagine this:

1. You're given tens of millions of dollars to make a major

Hollywood movie.

2. You choose to put in the words: retard retard retard retard

retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard

retard retard retard retard retard retard.

3. After the movie's release, you say " Hey, you took that out of

context! If I offended anybody, I didn't mean it. "

Sorry, Ben. You offended me. I have an 11-year old son with Down

syndrome. He is a human being. He's not a symbol or a character on TV

or a joke. He is real. With feelings. Imagine that!

Jack (my son, not your Simple Jack) is my hero. He's not perfect, and

he spends more time in the principal's office than he should. But he

gets up every day of his life and works twice as hard as other kids

to be able to do what kids do. He swims like a fish, but can't ride a

bike. He reads and writes and has a great sense of humor. I love him.

His life has challenges of every kind. He deals with them. But what

Jack really doesn't need is an adult like you coming over just to

kick him in the gut a little bit with that word to sell some tickets

and make a joke. Thanks just the same, Ben!

I know what you're saying. I've heard Sergeant Sam and the talk radio

callers and the comment-posters. You're saying " Hey, get a life!

Lighten up! LOL! This is way too PC! Retard is just a word like

stupid and idiot. Find something else to worry about. The movie is

just a movie! Don't see it if you don't want to! Retard! "

That's what you're saying, Ben, and all you comment-posters on the

web, but this is what I'm hearing: You insist on being able to demean

and verbally abuse my kid with a loaded, hateful word that conjures a

special visual image and carries a sad, long history of abuse. To me,

it's like the n-word. Oh, you don't do this directly. You just say

retard around your friends to tell a joke, and in your movies and on

TV and radio and on the web, when you mean " fool. " Then in a few days

a kid on a playground somewhere aims that word at Jack. Or Sofia. Or

Hannah. But hey kids, Lighten Up! LOL!

Ben, this is all getting a little too mean for me. I thought we were

all supposed to be better than this. I know the word retard didn't

start with you. Jack's heard it before! Not that often (his

classmates are great kids), but he has and what a great day it is at

our house when he comes home and my husband and I try to patch those

feelings back up. And believe me, Ben, our kids are smart enough to

know when they're being ridiculed. I don't even need to tell you how

it feels as a parent to watch my kid, an especially vulnerable kid,

get ridiculed with that word, but " knife in the heart " should about

cover it.

Our community hoped that word would go away after Something about

, after the get'er done comedian who mocks retard in every

routine, and all the rest. But Ben, your movie is too much. Thanks to

the movie and YouTube, I'm expecting Jack will hear that word on the

playground when he goes back to school next week. A lot more. See,

fifth graders just didn't get the context of your movie. They just

got the word and your permission to use it. So I will stand up now,

I will protest and march, with all of the disability community, and

say Enough. Please Stop. Think about our kids, our brothers and

sisters, our neighbors and friends with intellectual disabilities,

and pick on someone your own size next time. You say " Get a life. "

Ben, get a heart. And stop hurting our kids.

Suzanne Shepherd is a member of the Board of the Down Syndrome

Association of Central Texas and a mom. Jack is a fifth-grader at a

local elementary school.

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