12 Ways To Care...

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Date:

Sep 7, 2007 10:47 AM

Subject:

12 Ways to Care for a Depressed Person

12 Ways to Care for a Depressed PersonThe

person with depression usually can't see a way forward. They may

fervently believe that nobody can help them, and life is pointless.

That doesn't mean that they're right, and there are plenty of things

that you can do to help.The type and amount of care that you can give will depend on your relationship with the person, but here are some ideas.1. Understand the illness. Learn

all that you can about depression. The better you grasp the illness,

the more effective you will be in giving your care and understanding.

It will help you to understand why the person behaves the way they do,

and better equip you to respond appropriately.2. Seek Appropriate TreatmentThis

is such a far-reaching, wide-ranging topic that I would be foolish to

give advice. Suffice to say that it will be helpful for you to explore

the treatment options available in your area and suggest to the person

that they need professional help. It might be helpful for them if you

go along to the first or subsequent appointments.If he or she

won't admit their illness then explain why you are concerned and

perhaps provide them with some helpful written information to chew over.3. Provide Emotional SupportYour

partner or friend needs patience, care and understanding. They have a

real illness, and just like someone with cancer they can't just "snap

out of it". If they could, they would. Saying things that show

ignorance about the illness is counterproductive and will reinforce

their negative thinking.The best way to communicate is to

empathize, listen more than talk, and ask questions like "How can I

support you?" or "How can I help?"4. Keep the Illness SeparateThe

illness and the person suffering the illness are not the same thing, so

keep them separate. When they express pessimism, anger, frustration, or

sadness, it is the illness talking not the person. If you separate the

two you will find it easier to cope emotionally. It will help you to be

a more effective carer.5. Listen Non-Judgmentally Don't

try to talk a depressed person out of their feelings, no matter how

irrational they sound. This is likely to compound the problem. It is

better to remain neutral and say something like "You are obviously

really suffering with this. What can I do to help you feel better?"

Keep your suggestions, solutions and advice for another time.6. Make a PlanHelp

the person to make a plan for coping with depression. Identify things

that trigger or worsen the depression and things that make it better.

Think through and list the ideas formally on paper. Help them to put

this plan into action. Some positive, helpful things to include are

getting to bed early, having adequate sleep, exercising regularly,

drinking plenty of water and eating healthy foods.7. Look after yourselfAs

a carer you are likely to be under stress. You need to care for

yourself by taking time out and recharging your batteries. Find other

friends or relatives who you can talk to and rely on at a pinch.

Sometimes you will need a sounding-board to keep things in perspective.

Make sure you continue to live your own life as well, and spend time

doing things you enjoy.There are services that provide

education and support for carers. Through information sessions and

support groups, you can talk to people who are in a similar position.8. Organize their medicinesIf

your partner or friend is taking medicine for depression then it is

crucial for them to follow their prescription. Too many people go on

and off their anti-depressants depending on how they feel. This all but

eliminates their effectiveness.I take medicine at night without

any problems, but if it wasn't for my wife handing the pills to me I

would never take them in the mornings. She also fills my scripts and

tells me when to go to the doctor for more. It's not laziness; it's

just the nature of depression. More than once I have spent hours in bed

staring at my pills, but not had the mental energy to actually take

them. If your partner or friend is not complying with their

prescription, try to find out how you can help.9. Support network.Introduce

the idea of joining a support network for depression. This will give

them an outlet for discussing their problems and receiving input, and

help them to discover that there are other (normal) people experiencing

similar problems. There are depression support groups everywhere. Make

sure that you find one that is positive and focused on recovery. Inward

looking, pessimistic groups can be unhelpful.10. Get out and AboutOne

of the most therapeutic things that a depressed person can do is step

out the front door. Natural light is very beneficial, especially early

in the day. Exercise also has proven benefits. Something as simple as

taking a walk or gardening should lift the person's mood. Anything

low-key that involves going out can also help; seeing a movie, meeting

friends, or going out to eat, just to name a few ideas.11. Help with daily tasksWhen

your body is heavy and your mind is dark, there is nothing harder than

the burdens of everyday life. Something that seems minor to you may be

an insurmountable task to your friend or partner. Ease their burden by

helping with the daily load - running errands, doing the shopping,

cooking, taking the kids out for a couple of hours. You may be

surprised to find that helping with a very simple chore could relieve

them of a lot of stress.12. Spend normal time togetherJust

spending time with the person lets them know that you care and want to

understand their problems. Enjoy the reasons for being their companion

in the first place. It's important that they live as normal a life as

possible. Help them to do this by carrying on your relationship with

them in a normal fashion. Don't let everything get dark and serious.

Find some positive things and try to enjoy them together.The

points above are very general by necessity. I realize that they don't

fit all circumstances, but I hope that you find at least a few helpful

ideas.