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In a message dated 4/28/00 8:09:54 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

wildcards@... writes:

> But now that I've married you, I'm really excited! "

> " Good, " said the lawyer, " but, why? "

> " Duh! You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna

> get screwed! "

Not offended at all. =) LOL

~

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  • 6 months later...

LOL, Joan!

who hate shopping of any kind

----- Original Message -----

From: " Joan " <cdx7159@...>

< egroups>

Sent: Monday, October 30, 2000 10:46 AM

Subject: [ ] JOKE

> Pushing a cart down a supermarket aisle, a man passed a woman

> whose cart carried a four-year-old girl. As he walked by, he

> heard the mother saying, " Take it easy, Natasha. It won't be

> long. We have only three more items to buy. "

> A few minutes later, he passed the same woman in

> another aisle. As the little girl looked at the items on the

> shelves, the woman crooned in a soothing voice, " It's okay,

> Natasha. We're almost finished. Nothing to get upset about,

> Tasha dear. We'll be outside in no time at all. "

> When the man reached the checkout counter, the woman

> was paying for her groceries. " Excuse me, " he said. " I'd like

> to compliment you on the way you kept your daughter calm

> while you did your shopping. I overheard some of the soothing

> things you were saying to Natasha here to keep her from

> getting upset. "

> The woman looked puzzled for a few seconds, then

> laughed. " You've got it all wrong, " she said. " My daughter's

> name is Kate. I'm Natasha. "

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  • 1 month later...

In a message dated 12/1/2000 1:11:04 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jacee17@... writes:

<< A Tragic Call

Sue passed away and her husband, Bubba, called 911.

The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away,

" Where do you live? " asked the operator.

Bubba replied, " At the end of Eucalyptus Drive. "

The operator asked, " Can you spell that for me? "

There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, " How 'bout if I drag her

over to Oak Street and you pick her up there? " >>

Jen

You are a nut. Love ya anyway.

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  • 6 years later...

Loved this Randy!! Thanks this cracked me up!!

Love

~Karma

>

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>

> Subject: Exact Change

>

>

>

> A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown

> ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says,

> " A

> hamburger, fries and a coke, " and turns to the ostrich, " What's

> yours? "

>

> " I'll have the same, " says the ostrich.

>

> A short

> time later the waitress returns with the order. " That will be $9.40

> please, " she says and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the

> exact change for payment.

>

> The next day, the man and the ostrich

> come again and the man says, " A hamburger, fries, and a

> coke. "

>

> The ostrich says, " I'll have the same. "

>

> Again the man

> reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

>

> This

> becomes routine until the two enter again later in the week.

>

> " The

> usual? " asks the waitress.

>

> " No, this is Friday night, so I will have

> a steak, baked potato, and salad, " says the man.

>

> " Same, " says

> the ostrich.

>

> Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, " That

> will be $32.62. "

>

> Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his

> pocket and places it on the table.

>

> The waitress can't hold back her

> curiosity any longer. " Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always

> come up

> with the exact change out of your pocket every time? "

>

> " Well, "

> says the man, " several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an

> old

> lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two

> wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,

> I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right mount of

> money would always be there. "

>

> " That's brilliant! " says the

> waitress. " Most people would wish for a million dollars or something,

> but

> you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you

> live! "

>

> " That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls

> Royce, the exact money is always there, " says the man.

>

> The

> waitress asks, " But what's with the ostrich? "

>

> The man sighs

> and answers, " My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and

> long legs

> who agrees with everything I

> say. "

>

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>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.

>

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