Personal Development - The Urban Monk

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Personal Development - The Urban Monk

The Power of Being Yourself

Posted: 15 Jun 2008 03:54 AM CDT

Editor’s Note: Today’s guest post was written by De Foe. Thanks !

Each individual brings a unique light into the world, however, often that light remains buried below the surface of the person others see in us. Discovering that light and letting it shine is one of the fundamental steps each individual must take to become a more whole person.

Human beings often give up the power of being true to themselves, hiding amongst the shadows of social roles and familiar comforts instead. There are a number of reasons we pretend to be something we are not. It’s easier – sure, it makes us less responsible – right, it allows others the comfort of knowing we are no better than them – nothing special to see here – just an ordinary guy or girl. But let me tell you my side of the story so that you can decide for yourself whether it is really worthwhile to step up, be a unique individual, and to fight for what makes you who you are.

The Cost of Being Yourself

Being yourself means being able to be a free individual. There is something within us that stops that from happening, The Critic. There are a number of accusations that come from The Critic that are just waiting to trigger you into action. The moment someone questions your religion, The Critic wakes up. The moment there is someone at a party that starts hitting on your significant other, The Critic jumps into action. The moment that a person mocks you, laughs at you, or insults your pride, The Critic is there.

Hang on, who is The Critic, you might be asking. The Critic is the part of yourself that you have unconsciously hired as a guard to build a fortress around your personality. However the cost of deconstructing that fort is expensive, so it remains, guarding you with the old values, beliefs, and expectations that you assigned to The Critic a long time ago. Each time someone questions your individual self, The Critic is there to let that person know that you are not afraid of defending yourself.

Each one of us holds onto a particular set of standards that makes up the person we know to be “meâ€. The moment something causes us take a footstep outside of those standards, The Critic jumps in. Suddenly, we have to defend ourselves and save ourselves from losing our identity – the sense of being “me†that must be defended at all costs. So much trouble to defend something that does not even need defending – isn’t it?

The Cost of Being Free

Does the sense of “I†need to be defended? Let me share what I think. The true self within us does not need to be defended. It just needs to be expressed. However when we fail to express our true self, whether we feel threatened or rejected by others, we build a false self –a Critic – that sits in the back of our mind whispering “Stop! Do not be yourself, remember what happened last time. Instead be like they expect you to beâ€.

Our world so often places over us a blanket of overcast skies filled with the chronic expectations that all the people in our lives hold over us. So often we compromise our true self to take on one role or another, forever shape-shifting in an endless disguise that fools all but ourselves.

The cost of being free is hefty. It requires you to respond to The Critic and to take off the disguise. In the face of adversity it requires you to be your true self no matter what others have to say about it. Once you stop shaping yourself to meet the needs of others, once you stop projecting a certain role that supposedly looks good to others, and once you stop being someone else, you will find an unusual gift waiting for you.

The Prize of Being Free

Happiness. It took me a long time to find out the real essence behind happiness and freedom – for so long these were just concepts in my mind, concepts that I thought could be actualized with 6-figure salaries, the end of world poverty, and the cessation of global aggression, discontentment, and fear. Finally I came to realize that happiness is a gift that is waiting for us as soon as we embrace our true self. It is up to us to stop pushing our true self under, to stop criticizing and undervaluing it.

There are two types of human beings in the world – people, and individuals. Once you are able to be an individual and not just an ordinary person, you will find your inner intuitive powers begin to grow as you discover happiness, freedom, and self-actualization shining brighter within yourself. It takes courage to take off the disguise protecting you and to let your true colours shine, but this is one of the most honourable and rewarding actions a person can decide to take in life.

You are a Powerful Individual

The individual that shines through when we let go of the defended self has to be watered like a seed is watered before it sprouts. If instead we try to build a false persona – then how can we ever hope to bring happiness and freedom into our lives? Suppressing your true self inevitably leads to a downward spiral of self destruction. Your true self has always been waiting to come out – and therein is the source of individual power.

I am not talking about the type of power that one has to defeat a country by military strength, nor the power that a person has to manipulate others into benefiting for themselves, and not even the power of being the leader in a company, a relationship, or a sports contest. I am talking about the power of being yourself.

The power to be yourself is not measured by how well you can defend your-self, but instead by how well you can express your-self through the limitless creative channels the universe provides. The more you are able to get to know your true self the better you are able to heal the blockages cutting off your creative energy.

Many people know their false self a lot better than their true self. This accommodates them the power to be good at something career-wise, to be better than others at writing, or to be able to attract socially popular partners. I am just using these as examples, of course. The point I am making is that when we get in tune with our true self the immense power, happiness, and freedom that is born allows us to express and share ourselves with others. This sharing opposes the type of reality where life is a competition – instead it allows us to make a unique and divine contribution of “I†to the rest of the world and to collaborate in tandem with the universe.

From the author:I would like to thank Albert for allowing me the opportunity to share this post with you. Further readings entitled Meditate to Discover Your True Self and Ego and Illusion at SpiritualBlog.com explore topics central to this post.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoyed it, and you are more than welcome to take a look at my blog through the links above.

From the Editor:Thank you for that post . I’m truly lucky to have so many great writers offer their insights during my little break from blogging. Exams are nearly over, so I promise that in a week I’ll have something of my own up. Thank you for your patience, everyone! Further Reading:

The Blossoming of Love Do you need these techniques for more assertiveness and self-respect in any interaction? UrbanMonk.Net Frequently Asked Questions Finding a Purpose and Passion in Life, Part 2: Impermanency, Inner Purpose, Meaning and More How to best use visualization and overcome resistance and fears in goal-setting