What's Your Question? (P. Humbert)

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What's Your Question?Have you ever noticed that people who ask questions learnmore than those who answer them?In coaching my private clients, one of the most importantthings I do is ask questions. I often query them on theirintentions, their priorities, or their daily activities.The right question at the right time can open doors andcreate new opportunities in ways that lecture or argumentrarely does.And one of the most fascinating things is that it evenworks when we ask ourselves great questions!I was playing golf with an acquaintance the other day, andas happens to every golfer from time to time, it "wasn'this day." His swing was off and he was struggling. As

hegot more and more exasperated, it was fascinating to watchthe statements he made, and the questions he asked.This poor guy kept beating himself up in the cruelest ways!(I'm not picking on him--we've all been there.) He wouldmake statements no one would ever make to a friend or lovedone, things like, "That's the worst shot I've ever seen!I'll never get it right!" Many of his statements includedwords and phrases I won't repeat in this family-orientednewsletter.Even more devastating, he asked questions designed tofrustrate himself even more! He asked, "Why do I always dothat?" and "Why do I waste my time with this stupid game?"By making statements and asking questions that assumed histerrible performance would continue forever, he was settinghimself up for failure. Notice that his "why" questionswere not designed to find an answer, they were designed toberate himself for his miserable

performance. Unless we aregenuinely searching for a cause-and-effect explanation(like a scientist), "why" questions can be very dangerous.Too often they lead to an endless cycle of recriminationsand blame.On the other hand, great questions are one of the greattools for success. If he had asked himself, "I wonder whatchanges I could make to straighten out that slice?" hemight have found an answer.The same principle applies in every area of life.Asking ourselves, "Why can't I ever save for the future?"causes the brain to give us a list of expenses and habitsthat spend all our income. Asking a better question like,"I wonder how I could reduce expenses by $100 thismonth?" leads to a completely different set of answersand potential solutions.Whenever you find yourself stuck, particularly if you arerepeating a pattern and want to change it, try askingyourself some new (and better)

questions. Here are a few Iuse regularly:1. What is the most important thing I can do today?2. Since I don't seem to know how to do this, I wonder whomight know the answer? Who can I call for help?3. Even though I can't do it all today, what step can Itake to get started right away?4. Who could coach me, or teach me, about this?5. Since what I'm doing isn't working, what other methodscould I try? What other strategy might give me a betterapproach?A good question is worth a thousand pieces of casualadvice. A great question can instantly transform our livesand launch us in a whole new direction. In almost any areaof life, if you are not getting the results you want, tryasking different, better, questions. I think you'll likethe results.Philip E. Humbert, PhD,Resources for Success!President, The Philip E. Humbert Group,

Inc.Shameless Marketing TIP:Dr Humbert is a Success Strategist, author and popularspeaker. Imagine what's possible! To inquire abouthaving him speak to your group or organization, orto schedule an initial consultation, contact him at:Coach@...Copyright © 2005, all rights reserved.U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1529-059XYou may copy, forward or distribute TIP's if thiscopyright notice and full information for contactingDr Philip E. Humbert are included. Contact him at:www.philiphumbert.com or email: Coach@.... http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AffirmationstoDe-Stress A positive thinking, positive affirmations support group, that discusses ways to cope with the stresses of daily life. Come aboard! PJ and Gang