Re: Kenny - hi from Elaine

[Guest guest]

Hi Kenny,

Over 10 years ago we had other adopted children. (we have 2 young ones

now).

We had 3 birth sibs. 2 of the boys set our house on fire and we lost

everything.

They left our pets inside and most of them died. I loved my dog so

much that

I could hardly bear that he'd died that way.

I had a nervous break down, hurt myself and was hospitalized. May

sound funny to say

but it's the best thing that happened to me. Not the loss of

everything, but the therapy

that followed.

I was in a Day Treatment program for 1 year. 5 days a week. 9 - 4.

I learned so much from there. It changed my life.

Something that I picked up in your comment was "I have given up trying

to make them see the

right way". This is exactly something we would have learned in therapy.

You can't "make" anyone else do anything. You can't change their

reactions to things that happen.

BUT you can change yourself, which in turn might change their

reactions.

Not implying YOU need changing....but if things aren't going how we

want then we have

the option of changing it.

We were also told "you always have choices. You may not like your

choices, but you still

have them".

To be able to make a decision and proceed from there has made a world

of difference to my life.

Sounds like you are making good choices for yourself. We have to take

care of ourselves too.

I used to run myself ragged trying to be Super Mom to 6 kids. (our 2

bio and 4 adopted).

I learned from therapy to be able to let things go. If I had a list of

10 things to do and I only

got 5 done...then good for me...I did 5 things today!!! : )

I find it hard to be around people who have not had therapy and can't

think this way.

I learned it's ok to say no. But I know too many people who see me as

saying no, or I can't do that

today as a failure or being lazy. I KNOW I'm not lazy at all. I know

I do plenty with 2

special needs kids.

Where my problem comes in and I need to change, is that I allow it to

bother me that others

think I didn't do what THEY think I should have.

If I can work on this and be comfortable with myself, then I will have

peace.

I'm working on it. : ) I know it's attainable.

Good luck with the harp. Sounds like fun.

Elaine

I think the older we get, the more comfortable we are in our paths.

Anything that disrupts those paths, can cause uncertainty, stress

etc... Finding "Peace" regardless of your circumstances can be

difficult.

Personally, I have put a very high price on finding and keeping peace

in my life, due to living "hellish" circumstances with kids and my

spouse. Regardless of their actions, I cannot make them seek peace as

well. I believe selfishness and a thankless heart is keep them from

seeing what is wrong. I have given up on trying to "make" them see the

right way. The only thing I can do is try to be an example to guide

them down a better path. Personally, I find taking time for myself away

from the noise of life helps so much. Praying, reading and music speak

to my heart. I am also looking into playing the harp, even at this

stage in my life. I hope to start lessons within a few months. Kind of

exciting to me.

I guess I am sharing my thoughts with you both to encourage you to not

give up on seeking peace and happiness in your life, regardless of your

circumstances. I hope you enjoy this group and the info posted.

Kenny

Hi Christa and Elaine,

I think the older we get, the more comfortable we are in

our paths. Anything that disrupts those paths, can cause uncertainty,

stress etc... Finding "Peace" regardless of your circumstances can be

difficult.

Personally, I have put a very high price on finding and

keeping peace in my life, due to living "hellish" circumstances with

kids and my spouse. Regardless of their actions, I cannot make them

seek peace as well. I believe selfishness and a thankless heart is keep

them from seeing what is wrong. I have given up on trying to "make"

them see the right way. The only thing I can do is try to be an example

to guide them down a better path. Personally, I find taking time for

myself away from the noise of life helps so much. Praying, reading and

music speak to my heart. I am also looking into playing the harp, even

at this stage in my life. I hope to start lessons within a few months.

Kind of exciting to me.

I guess I am sharing my thoughts with you both to

encourage you to not give up on seeking peace and happiness in your

life, regardless of your circumstances. I hope you enjoy this group and

the info posted.

Kenny

From:

christa reid <christa_reimsn>

Subject: Re: Christa - hi from Elaine

To: AffirmationstoDe-Stress

Date: Thursday, August 28, 2008, 9:39 AM

Hi

my mom sold a bunch of land and gave me money to buy my

own place. its just a 1/4 mile from where I live now. I should be

grateful but I hate change

-----

Original Message -----

From:

Elaine

To:

AffirmationstoDe- Stress@yahoogrou ps.com

Sent:

Thursday, August 28, 2008 8:10 AM

Subject:

[AffirmationstoDe- Stress] Christa - hi from Elaine

>HI CHRISTA,

I'm a new member too. I'd like to get to know other members, so I hope

you don't mind

me responding to your "welcome" questionnaire.

I too seek peace in my life. I don't care if my life is perfect. I

don't care if I have

lots of $$. Just some happiness and peace. I "try" to work hard at

those things.

When I went for therapy we weren't allowed to say "try"...they said

that gives

an excuse to fail.

Your stress is from moving? I'm often stressed about things being new.

For eg....getting a new piece of furniture I want. For some reason it

stresses me.

It's something positive. It's a change that I want...but still I feel

stress.

I've learned to accept this about myself and just let myself go through

it.

Being this way, has helped me to understand special needs children.

Are you moving by choice? Or have to move?

Elaine

>

> Christa

>

> 2) Tell us why positive thinking is important to you --

> I need to find peace in my life and I think positive thinking

is the key to healing

>

> 3) Are you currently under stress & needing tools for

handling the stress

> better? Please explain.

> I seem to always feel like I am under stress but right now we

are moving and that is very stressfull

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Elaine,

How are things going for you ? Just checking up.

Kenny

From: christa reid <christa_rei@ msn.com>Subject: Re: [AffirmationstoDe- Stress] Christa - hi from ElaineTo: AffirmationstoDe- Stress@yahoogrou ps.comDate: Thursday, August 28, 2008, 9:39 AM

Hi

my mom sold a bunch of land and gave me money to buy my own place. its just a 1/4 mile from where I live now. I should be grateful but I hate change

[AffirmationstoDe- Stress] Christa - hi from Elaine

>HI CHRISTA,I'm a new member too. I'd like to get to know other members, so I hope you don't mindme responding to your "welcome" questionnaire.I too seek peace in my life. I don't care if my life is perfect. I don't care if I havelots of $$. Just some happiness and peace. I "try" to work hard at those things.When I went for therapy we weren't allowed to say "try"...they said that givesan excuse to fail.Your stress is from moving? I'm often stressed about things being new.For eg....getting a new piece of furniture I want. For some reason it stresses me.It's something positive. It's a change that I want...but still I feel stress.I've learned to accept this about myself and just let myself go through it.Being this way, has helped me to understand special needs children.Are you moving by choice? Or have to

move?Elaine>> Christa> > 2) Tell us why positive thinking is important to you --> I need to find peace in my life and I think positive thinking is the key to healing>> 3) Are you currently under stress & needing tools for handling the stress> better? Please explain.> I seem to always feel like I am under stress but right now we are moving and that is very stressfull>>