Guest guest Posted September 2, 2008 Report Share Posted September 2, 2008 Hi , Thanks for the response. When I joined this group I knew it wasn't therapists or professionals. When I say "daily support" I expected the group to be more active. I moderate a large very active group for parents of special needs children. (FASD) When someone has a problem many jump in to offer suggestions and opinions and will usually stay with that person until we've found a solution to their problem. I was hoping for something like that in this group. In the FASD gropu they will help with personal problems as well. But it's not really the place for it. It's more to help the parents with the children. So I'm hesitant to keep] bring up personal problems with them. I don't mean everyone complains. I mean if anyone is having a bad they can post why. Ask for understanding or suggestions. and vice versa. A give and take. For myself, I've had much therapy and it's stuck with me. I know how to set boundaries. Where I need support is in being strong and reinforcing those boundaries. Elaine Dear Elaine, Louise Hay states that setting boundaries is easier if you learn to love yourself. I think message number 28156 is helpful. There's also one on loving yourself. I have used both posts to great effect. You can type on the "search" box that's above the group messages key words like "loving self" , etc. As for suppport, please clarify what kind of support you need. Most of us are not therapists. And moderators like me do not have time to chat. In fact, I have already informed the other moderators of my intention to take a break from moderating as I have a lot of things to attend to. We are, however, people who have been exposed to affirmative teachings/techniques. ANd we do share experiences and materials to the group related to affirmations and other self-help techniques. In my case, I give suppport to others in the form of prayers. The group is rich in messages. Moderators and members have put in great effort to forward those messages. Some have been typed up by the senders themselves. There is plenty of love behind the posts. I trust you can go through the archives and see what you can use for yourself. In light and love, VIctoria > > HI > I joined the group a few weeks ago and left because I was hoping to > find many people in discussion. Needing support and/or offering > support. I'd like to give it another try and see if I can make > some new friends. : ) > > At present I am having problems with extended family and sure could > use some support in setting boundaries with them. > > In the past I've had extensive therapy and it stuck with me. I use it > daily and would also like to offer my support to any that I may be > able to help. > > Looking forward to getting to know you. > Elaine > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 3, 2008 Report Share Posted September 3, 2008 Hi , When I did go for therapy we were encouraged to share our experiences with others. Often sharing let the others know that they weren't alone or it took away their fear of expressing their fear. I often said I didn't want to speak, and this was pointed out to me. Others with the same experiences might be able to share that and tell us what worked for them. I completely agree that to rehash the same old, same old over and over does no good for anyone. In other groups I am in, I've often given up because the advice given is always met with a "BUT..." and then the reason why they can't or won't do it. But when the person is open to suggestions and opinions and considers them all, I find that person can usually solve their problem. I did something 2 weeks ago that my husband considered negative. To keep the story short, I have been snubbed and honestly could not figure out why. So I asked. I didn't get any type of answer that explained why I'd been snubbed. So my husband said I'd wasted my time, made myself feel bad, etc.... I tried to explain to him....that I could go on wondering "what if"... "What if I asked and got an explanation"....or "What if I never ask, would she have answered me"..... Though this person didn't really respond to me.....I DID come out of it with the answer to "What if I ask her?" So for me, it was still me taking action. And still I had "some" answer. It gave me closure in regards to this person. So that's a positive. Elaine I often hesitate to share my challenges with people who I feel would not be able to help me anyway. If I had a medical problem -- I discuss the details of that challenge with a doctor. If I have an emotional challenge, I go to someone who is experienced in processing such challenges such as a counsellor or a psychologist or just someone I can trust. The support I ask for from non-medical people is usually in the form of prayers or affirmative thoughts. I make the request very general. And even before I approach anyone, I usually meditate first and ask for divine guidance as to where I should go for assistance in resolving the challenge. I have no desire to energize the very thoughts that had created the situation in my life. I believe that dwelling on the problems and sharing them with just anyone who aren't trained to help anyway energizes the problem and just makes it more difficult to deal with. It's like just like focusing on how "bad" a person is. And everyone affirming and agreeing that person is just so "bad". I've seen that in office situations where people see a boss or a co-worker as difficult. It really becomes their experience. On the other hand, I have seen what affirmative thoughts coupled with affirmative action can do. The difficult person or situation is changed. When I joined the Affirmations group, I was looking for that kind of affirmative support. The kind that can create miracles -- move mountains -- high drama stuff. Sometimes I get it. Sometimes I don't. But it's all right, isn't it? I now see you for the great person you are -- with a clear vision of who you really are -- a wonderful person filled with love and light and the knowledge that she deserves only the best and expects only the best kind of treatment. You now attract only people who love and respect your boundaries and support you in all that you do. You are blessed. And so it is! Have a wonderful day. In light and love, > > Hi , > Thanks for the response. > When I joined this group I knew it wasn't therapists or > professionals. > When I say "daily support" I expected the group to be more > active. > I moderate a large very active group for parents of special > needs children. (FASD) When someone has a problem > many jump in to offer suggestions and opinions and will usually > stay with that person until we've found a solution to their > problem. I was hoping for something like that in this group. > In the FASD gropu they will help with personal problems as well. But > it's not really the place > for it. It's more to help the parents with the children. So I'm > hesitant to keep] > bring up personal problems with them. > > I don't mean everyone complains. I mean if anyone is having a bad they > can post why. Ask for understanding or suggestions. and vice versa. > A give and take. > > For myself, I've had much therapy and it's stuck with me. I know how > to set > boundaries. Where I need support is in being strong and reinforcing > those boundaries. > > Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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