RE: Re: in VA

[Guest guest]

, that was very well said. Excellent post! I hope to see you post

more often. :-)

Love and hugs,

Carol

[ ] Re: Miserable :-(

Hi Heidi -

I don't normally post, but I just wanted to send you my support and a

few hugs. I'm so sorry you're having such a rotten morning. People

can be so incredibily nasty and insensitive. I hope those thin,

nasty little witches in your office have to deal with lovely comments

like that when they eventually gain a little weight.

They are lucky that you are not the vindictive type. At my most

rational, I'd have had to have a little talk with them about

inappropriate workplace behavior making sure to point out that those

sort of hostile comments could get them into a lot of trouble -

around here they could be fired for making that sort of comment. At

my least rational - well I'd probably commit myself to making their

lives as miserable as possible. But hey, thats just me.

Unfortunately, weight gain with steroids and hormones is very

common. On the bright side, my doctor assures me that it comes off

pretty well once you stop taking the medication. I'll let you know

how that works out - the Remicade seems to be working really well, so

my rheumatologist finally feels that it may be OK to start decreasing

the prednisone. Oh, by the way, I found that a lot of it was water

weight. I decreased my caffeine intake and started drinking about 10

glasses of water a day (ugh) - in about a week I managed to drop 10

of the 20 pounds that I put on since starting the prednisone.

I don't know what to say about the cousin - sometimes I just don't

know whats WRONG with people. His comments were just wrong on so

many levels. I've always thought its so sad when men use their

ability to father a child in some pathetic attempt to validate their

manhood. As if sperm donation makes you a man. Clearly, he has

issues. There is no excuse for him making that sort of comment to

you - its just sad and pathetic and I feel sorry for his poor wife.

I hope you are feeling better soon. Lots of hugs - in Virginia

> Hi there,

> I just really need to get this out and I know all of you are the

only ones

> who'll understand.

> I just had such a miserable morning. My office has quiet a few

skinny

> pretty young things (I know I'm only 26 but they are not older than

21) any

> way I was making coffee in the kitchen this morning and two of them

were

> there. The one looks at me and turns to her friend and says - very

loud -

> " geez Heidi has put on weight don't you think, I thought she was

pregnant,

> she's looking so fat " " aren't you going on diet or something Heidi "

right to

> my face. This is after she asked me last week if I was pregnant

because I

> was putting on so much weight (in front of about 6 of these skinny

young

> girls). Obviously the answer is no and this caused much bitchy

girly

> giggling (again right in front of me). I'm a manager in the

company and

> these girls do clerical jobs so I try to appear really put together

and

> unbothered by all this and just ignored it. I did say " thanks

that's a very

> kind comment Helena, you must be proud " she just giggled (bloody

air head

> probably took it literally!). But to be honest I went and had a

cigarette

> and a good cry in the staircase where no one could see me and still

feel

> like bawling now at my desk (but no one here would ever suspect it).

>

> Trouble is it's true, I've put on about 6 kgs since I started

working here,

> but with the Prednisone, Decapeptyl and other hormones I had before

that I

> just can't seem to keep the weight off. I try and watch what I eat

and even

> lost 2 kgs a few weeks ago after an agonizing effort but put them

back on

> plus one more within 2 DAYS!! of my last injection of Decapeptyl.

>

> I just feel like crawling into a hole right now and feel so fat and

ugly,

> like a toad. I'm even embarrassed to be naked in front of my

husband

> nowadays and try everything to hide my tummy in front of him (which

has

> taken most of the weight, I now have 1 1/2 spare tires!) I even

have a

> lovely double chin!. I really don't need these little idiots

making me feel

> even more awful than I already do.

> I know I should just " flush it " but they hit two nerves with one

blow on a

> bad day; not only do I wish I wasn't so " fat " but I also wish I WAS

> pregnant!

> And all this after my husbands cousin (who knows how hard we've

been trying

> for a baby) carried on and on at a family lunch this weekend about

his wife,

> who's pregnant, telling me, in front of everyone (numerous times

and VERY

> loud), that THIS girl is VERY fertile, nothing wrong with her oh

no, just

> " thinks of babies and she's pregnant " and " there's nothing wrong

with HIS

> equipment, it works just fine! " . Great.... congratulations...

what a manly

> man....

> I wish I could be angry at their insensitivity but I just feel

really sad

> and ugly right now. I feel like packing up and going home to hide

under my

> duvet and ball my eyes out!

> Plus I'm sore because I had to have a biopsy of that " rash thing " I

> mentioned before, I've got four stitches in my stomach (I know it's

nothing,

> I'm being a real baby today!), he thinks it's capilaritis sp???

(shamberg's

> disease) but wants to make sure it's not vasculitis sp??. I'm

just so

> sick of this. I'm sick of being sick and tired and sore, I'm sick

of being

> fat, I'm sick of doctors and medicines and moodswings and

injections and

> stitches and hot flushes and trying to keep up this " put together "

life. I

> want my life back! I'm sorry but I'm firmly on the pity potty this

morning!

> I love you all,

> Sorry it's so long but thank you all so much for giving me a safe

place to

> share this, and talk about how I'm really feeling right now.

Everyone

> thinks I'm so strong and positive and put together but I know you

all

> understand how such " silly " things can break us down sometimes.

I'll have

> to jump back on the happy wagon soon before I get run over, but

right now

> I'm kind of wallowing in it!

> Love and hugs,

> Heidi

>

>

>

>

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