An Overview of Lovingkindness (Very Long)

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Mega Quote, Affirmation, Meditation"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there islove and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong."-Ella Fitzgerald>><<Â <<>>Â >><<Â <<>>Â >><<Â AffirmationI will not dismiss my dreams, for to be without dreams is to be without hopeand to be without hope is to be without purpose. I will follow my dreams andaspirations.>><<Â <<>>Â >><<Â <<>>Â >><<Â An Overview of Loving-kindness Meditation ~ Ven. PannyavaroIt is a fact of life that many people are troubled by negative mind states,but do little in terms of developing

skills to deal with them. Yet even whenthe mind goes sour it is within most people's capacity to arouse positivefeelings to sweeten it. Loving-kindness is a meditation practice taught bythe Buddha to develop the mental habit of selfless or altruistic love. Hatredcannot coexist with loving-kindness, and dissipates if we supplant it withthoughts based on loving-kindness. Loving-kindness brings about positiveattitudinal changes as the meditation systematically develops the quality of ‘loving-acceptance’. In this way, it acts as a form of self-psychotherapy, away of healing the troubled mind to free it from its pain and confusion. Ofall Buddhist meditations, Loving-kindness has the immediate benefit ofsweetening and changing old habituated negative patterns of mind.To put it into context, Loving-kindness is the first of a series ofmeditations that produce four qualities of love: Friendliness

(metta),Compassion (karuna), Appreciative Joy (mudita) and Equanimity (upekkha). Thequality of 'friendliness' is expressed as warmth that reaches out andembraces others. When loving-kindness practice matures it naturally overflowsinto compassion, as one empathises with people's difficulties; while on theother hand one needs to be wary of pity, as its near enemy, as it merelymimics the quality of concern without empathy. The positive expression ofempathy is an appreciation of other people's good qualities or good fortune,or appreciative joy, rather than having feelings of jealousy towards them.This series of meditations comes to maturity as on-looking equanimity. This'engaged equanimity' is cultivated within the context of this series ofmeditations, or there is a risk of it tending to manifest as its near enemy,indifference or aloofness. So ultimately one remains kindly disposed andcaring toward

everybody with an equal spread of feeling and acceptance inrelationships and situations without discrimination.How to do it:The practice always begins with developing loving acceptance of yourself. Ifresistance is experienced then it indicates that feelings of unworthiness arepresent. No matter, this means there is work to be done, as the practiceitself is designed to overcome any feelings of self-doubt or negativity. Thenyou are ready to develop loving-kindness towards others.Four Types of Persons to develop loving-kindness towards:  a.. A Respected, beloved person – such as a spiritual teacher;  b.. A Dearly beloved – that is, a close family member or dear friend;  c.. A Neutral person – somebody you know, but have no special feelingstowards, eg: a person who serves you in a shop; and  d.. A Hostile

person – that is, someone you are currently having difficultywith. Starting with yourself, then systematically sending loving-kindness fromperson to person in the above order will have the effect of breaking down thebarriers between the four types of people and yourself. This will have theeffect of breaking down the divisions within your own mind, the source ofmuch of the conflict we experience. Just a word of caution, it is best if youchoose a member of the same sex or, if you have a sexual bias to your ownsex, a person of the opposite sex. This is because of the risk that the nearenemy of loving-kindness, lust, can be aroused. Try different people topractice on, as some people do not easily fit into the above categories, butdo try to keep to the prescribed order. Ways of arousing feelings of Loving-kindness:  a.. Visualisation: That is, making a mental

picture. Seeing oneself or theperson the feeling is directed at smiling back at you or being joyous.  b.. By Reflection: Thinking about the positive qualities of a person andthe acts of kindness they have done; While to oneself making an affirmation,that is, a positive statement about yourself, using your own words.  c.. Auditory: This is the simplest way but probably the most effective. Itis just repeating the soft internalised phrase 'loving-kindness','loving-kindness' to yourself. The visualisations, reflections and the repetition of loving-kindness aredevices to help you arouse positive feelings. You can use all of them or onethat works best for you. When the positive feelings arise, switch from thedevices to the feelings, as it is the positive feelings that are the primaryfocus. Keep the mind fixed on the feelings, if it strays bring it back to thedevice, or if

the feelings weaken or are lost then return to the device. Forexample, use the visualisation to bring back or strengthen the feeling. The second stage is Directional Pervasion where you systematically projectthe aroused feeling of loving-kindness to all points of the compass: north,south, east and west, up and down, and all around. This directional pervasionwill be enhanced by bringing to mind loving friends and like-mindedcommunities you know in the cities, towns and countries around the world. Non-specific Pervasion then follows as it tends to spontaneously happen asthe practice matures and is not discriminating. There is no specific objectbut just naturally radiating feelings of universal love. The practice hasthen come to maturity in that it has changed particular, preferential love –which is an attached love – to an all-embracing unconditional love!Loving-kindness

is a heart meditation – not to be seen as merely a formalsitting practice removed from everyday life. So take your good vibes outsideinto the streets, at home, at work and into your relationships. Applying thepractice to daily life is a matter of directing a friendly attitude andhaving openness toward everybody you relate to, without discrimination.There are as many different ways of doing it as there are levels of intensityin the practice. This introduction is intended to help you familiarizeyourself with the basic technique, so that you can become established in thepractice before going on, if you wish, to the deeper, systematic practice –to the level of meditative absorption known as one-pointedness. ~ o ~Venerable Sujiva's clear and comprehensive presentation in BuddhaNet's ofMetta Bhavana (which it the Pali term for the development of loving-kindness)is a

step-by-step explanation of the systematic practice. This section, basedon the Visuddhimagga, The Path of Purification, is for meditators who areprepared to develop loving-kindness meditation to its fullest and therebyexperience the deeper aspects of the practice.A benefit of developing the five absorption factors of concentration throughthe systematic practice is that it will counteract the Five Mental Hindrancesof the meditator: Sensuality; that is, all forms of Ill Will, Mental inertia;Restlessness and Sceptical Doubt. When the meditator achieves fullconcentration, five absorption factors are present: the first two are casualfactors: Applied thought and Sustained thought, followed by three effects:Rapture, Ease-of-mind and One-pointedness or unification of mind. The fiveabsorption factors have a one-to-one correspondence to the five mentalhindrances, or obstacles, to the meditator: Applied thought,

by arousingenergy and effort, overcomes the hindrance of sloth and torpor; Sustainedthought, by steadying the mind, overcomes sceptical doubt which has thecharacteristic of wavering; Rapture with its uplifting effervescence,prevails over feelings of ill-will; Ease-of-mind, by relieving accumulatedstress, counteracts restlessness or agitation of mind; while One-pointednessrestrains the mind's wanderings in the sense-fields to inhibit sensuality.The benefit of achieving deep concentration with this positive mind set isthat it will tend to imprint the new positive conditioning while overridingthe old negative patterns. In this way, old negative habits are changed,thereby freeing one to form new, positive ways of relating. We also have, in BuddhaNet's Loving-Kindness Meditation section, inspiringinstructions by Kramer of the Metta Foundation on TeachingLoving-kindness to Children within

the family context. givespractical advice to parents on how to bring the practice of loving-kindnesswithin the home. In this way, we can hope that loving-kindness meditationwill become a natural part of the Buddhist family's daily practice, and thatone day it will be adopted universally as a practice to uplift human hearts. May you be happy hearted!Loving-kindness Meditation Ven. PannyavaroLoving-kindness is a meditation practice taught by the Buddha to develop themental habit of selfless or altruistic love. You can find in the Metta Suttathe teaching the Buddha gave on how to develop loving-kindnes: "Hatred cannotcoexist with loving-kindness. It dissipates if we supplant it with thoughtsbased on loving-kindness". Dhp.It is a fact of life that many people are troubled by negative mind statesyet do little about it in terms of developing skills to deal with it.

Yeteven when the mind goes sour it is within most people's capacity to arousefeelings of loving-kindness to sweeten it. Loving-kindness, as a meditationpractice, specifically retrains the mind to overcome all forms of negativity.It brings about positive attitudinal changes as the meditation systematicallydevelops the quality of ‘loving-acceptance’. In this way, it acts as a formof self-psychotherapy, a way of healing the troubled mind to free it from itspain and confusion. Loving-kindness is practised as the first of a series of meditations thatproduce four qualities of love: Friendliness (metta), Compassion (karuna),Appreciative Joy (mudita) and Equanimity (upekkha). The quality of'friendliness' is expressed as warmth that reaches out and embraces others.When loving-kindness matures it naturally overflows into compassion, becauseit empathizes with people's difficulties; while on

the other hand one needsto be wary of pity, as its the near enemy, merely mimicking the quality ofconcern without empathy. The positive expression of empathy is anappreciation of other people's good qualities or good fortune rather thanfeelings of jealousy towards them, which is the enemy of appreciative joy.This series of meditations comes to maturity in the state of on-lookingequanimity. This equanimity has to be cultivated within the context of thisseries of meditations or else it tends to manifest as its near enemy,indifference or aloofness. It remains caring and on looking with an equalspread of feeling and acceptance toward all people, relationships andsituations without discrimination.Systematic Loving-kindness PracticeTo receive the full benefits of loving-kindness meditation it needs to bedeveloped systematically to the level of meditative absorption orone-pointedness. By developing the

five absorption factors of concentrationthrough the systematic practice it will counteract the Five MentalHindrances: Sensuality; all forms of Ill Will, Mental inertia; Restlessnessand Skeptical Doubt. When the meditator achieves full concentration fiveabsorption factors are present: the first two are casual factors: Appliedthought and Sustained thought, followed by three effects: Rapture,Ease-of-mind and One-pointedness or unification of mind. The five absorptionfactors have a one to one correspondence to the five mental hindrances orobstacles for the meditator: Applied thought, by arousing energy and effort,overcomes the hindrance of sloth and torpor; Sustained thought, by steadyingthe mind, overcomes skeptical doubt which has the characteristic of wavering;Rapture with its uplifting, effervescence, prevails over feelings ofill-will; Ease-of-mind, by relieving accumulated stress,

counteractsrestlessness or agitation of mind; while One-pointedness holds the mindwanderings in the sense-fields to inhibit sensuality. The benefit ofachieving deep concentration with this positive mind set is that is will tendto imprint the new positive conditioning while overriding the old negativepatterns. In this way, old negative habits are changed freeing one to formnew positive ways of relating. How to do loving-kindness meditationThe practice begins with developing loving acceptance of yourself. Ifresistance is experienced then it indicates feelings of unworthiness arepresent. No matter, this means there is work to be done, as the practiceitself is designed to overcome any feelings of self-doubt or negativity. Thenyou are ready to develop loving-kindness to others.Four Types of Persons are chosen to send loving-kindness to:  a.. A respected, beloved

person - such as a spiritual teacher;  b.. A dearly beloved - which could be a close family member or friend;  c.. A neutral person - somebody you know, but have no special feelingtowards, for example: a person who serves you over a counter;  d.. A hostile person - that is, someone you are currently having difficultywith. Starting with yourself, then moving systematically from person to person inthe above order will have the effect of breaking down the barriers betweenthe four types people and yourself. It is at the same time breaking down thedivisions within your own mind, the source of much of the conflict weexperience. Just a word of caution, it is best if you choose a member of thesame sex or if you have a sexual bias to your own sex then a person of theopposite sex. This is because of the risk that the near enemy ofloving-kindness, lust, can be

aroused. Try different people to practice on assome people do not easily fit into the above categories, but do keep to theprescribed order. Ways of arousing feelings of loving-kindness:  a.. Visualization: That is, bring up a mental picture. Seeing oneself orthe person the feeling is directed at smiling back at you or just beingjoyous.  b.. By Reflection: Reflecting on the positive qualities of a person and theacts of kindness they have done. And to oneself, make an affirmation, whichis a positive statement about yourself, using your own words.  c.. Auditory: This is the simplest way but probably the most effective. Itis repeating an internalized mantra or repetition of a word or phrase such as'loving-kindness'. The visualizations, reflections and the repetition of loving-kindness aredevices to help you arouse positive feelings. You

can use all of them or onethat works best for you. When the positive feelings arise switch from thedevices to the feelings, as it is the feelings that are the primary focus.Keep the mind fixed on the feeling, if it strays bring it back to the deviceor if the feeling weakens or is lost then return to the device, e.g. use thevisualization to bring back or strengthen the feeling. The second stage is Directional Pervasion where you systematically projectthe aroused feeling of loving-kindness to all points of the compass: north,south, east and west, up and down, and all around. This directional pervasioncan be enhanced by bring to mind friends and communities in the cities, townsand countries around the world. Non-specific Pervasion follows, which tends to spontaneously happen as thepractice matures and is not discriminating. There is no specific object butjust naturally radiating

feelings of universal love. The practice has thencome to maturity in that it has changed particular love, preferential love,which is an attached love to an all-embracing, unconditional love!Loving-kindness is a heart meditation and should not be seen as just a formalsitting practice removed from everyday life. So take your good vibes outsideinto the streets, at home, at work, into your relationships. Applying thepractice to daily life is a matter of purposefully directing a friendlyattitude and having openness toward everybody you relate to withoutdiscrimination.May you be happy hearted!Metta Bhavana with Venerable SujivaBeginning Practice of Loving-KindnessThere is no one posture in which you cannot send thoughts of metta. Inintensive metta exercises, one radiates loving kindness all the time inwhatever position one is in – standing, walking, sitting and (if not

sleepy)lying down.Usually sitting is alternated with walking. Gradually the sitting islengthened.When radiating metta while walking one does not really pay attention to thesensations or phenomena involved with the process of walking meditation as invipassana. One just radiates as one walks along. As the concentration becomesmore intense, slowing down would be only natural. At times one may just standstill and radiate. When the flow of metta ceases one will have to stop toarouse it again. The active nature of walking is involved with the energyfaculty and hence helps keep up the arousing and sustaining of the flow ofmetta, i.e. the 1st and 2nd jhana factors – initial and sustained application(vitakka, vicara). A suggested period for walking is 1 hour. It also servesas an exercise for physical health.The best posture is sitting in the full lotus with both legs crossed,

solesfacing upwards. The back is straight and hands on the lap with palms on topof each other, facing upwards. Because most people are not able to withstand the strain at the ankles, mostmay adopt half lotus, one leg crossed above the other. There are othervariations like the Burmese method where both legs are folded, but notpressing one on each other. There are sitting sideways postures and so on.Generally the posture has to be balanced, back straight and legs folded in.This helps to keep an alert mind whilst keeping the body fairly comfortable.In Samatha meditation this is very essential especially at the start, afterwhich one ought not to shift one's posture but remain still for long periods.We can try to do it by relaxing from head to toe or toe to head, part bypart, from externally, the skin, to internally, the bones and organs. Next wemust make a resolution to put away all

matters for the period of meditation.All matters must be put aside! Now is the time for meditation. Nothing elsematters! If one is decisive enough most thoughts can be put away. Then we canmake sure the mind is relaxed and peaceful. We also maintain an awareness ormindfulness or else it will fall to sloth.After sitting in the desired posture, one ought to remain still with utmostrelaxation to the point until the physical body is as if dead and not asingle strain is felt. The body is as if it is not there at all. Then one mayproceed to giving metta to oneself. When it is being done, try to do so verygently or else strain or restlessness may arise as well. Each thought arousedis as if it is a very small, subtle, soft bubble or mist suffusing out of themind. In such a way we can preserve and increase the tranquillity.Sometimes people think that giving metta to oneself is selfish. That isbecause

they misunderstand what is being done and the mental state involved.Actually it is a sincere and unselfish wish to progress onwards in thespiritual path. That is, to be happier and healthier to practise betterbecause one can give up anger and all the unwholesome states of mind withthis practice.One thus makes these wishes or aspirations one after another and lets themsink deep into the mind, creating far-reaching effects. One recites not justthe words in the mind but rather sincerely makes the wish, understandingfully the meaning or idea. They are:May I be free from enmity(Avero homi)May I be free from mental suffering(abyapajjho homi)May I be free from physical suffering(anigho homi)May I take care of myself happily(sukhiattanam pariharami)This is done for the first 5 minutes (of the sitting) which should last atleast an hour. It serves several

purposes.I. Setting onself right.One has to do this and this means having a pure objective that involves one'slife in all its aspects. This would involve right livelihood, morality and soon. If this is not done, there is bound to be conflict during or outsidemeditation.II. Motivation.After seeing the need for oneself to be truly happy one can then understandbetter the need for others to be happy. It will serve to motivate and easethe outflow of metta for others.III. Serves as preliminary concentration. It is easier to arouse this sincere wish for oneself than for others. Itmakes an easier start to gain some degree of concentration which can developto deeper levels as the practice progresses.After this one can proceed to radiate metta to another person.Selecting An IndividualAccording to their relationship to one at the time of starting meditation,individuals

may be classified into 5 categories:1. extremely intimate (atipiya)2. lovable (piya)3. indifferent (majjhata)4. unpleasant (apiya)5. inimical/hostile (veri)In selecting an individual as an initial object of metta bhavana, one isadvised to choose the 2nd, a lovable individual because metta can arise easily. The 1st may arouse attachment, the 3rd may pose some difficulties andthe 4th and 5th may arouse anger instead. One is also advised against givingit to the opposite sex as it may arouse lust. What if she is his own motheror he, her father? Usually it is not preferred for the unstable mind maywander to another of the opposite sex. The other individual not recommendedis the deceased. It does not produce deep concentration as the person is nolonger present and is already in a different state.Therefore the lovable individual should be alive and of the same sex as one."Lovable"

means he (or she) inspires metta in you the moment you think ofhim. He would most likely be one with a lot of metta himself besides manyother virtues like morality, concentration, wisdom, patience, humility and soon. It is someone whom you think of or meet with a lot of respect andfriendliness. Someone whom you can call a true friend. If you have known himfor some time and had spent many moments and events together with little orno misunderstandings, it would be better. Then you can call up all the goodthat he has done for you as well as the happy events in the past to arousemetta.When you have chosen the individual then this shall be the soil and sourcefrom which your metta shall set its roots deep and spread far elsewhere.Arousing of MettaThe near cause of metta is the lovable person or being. Therefore we have tosee the favourable aspect of the person or being.One way is to think of

his or her virtues or good qualities. We can perhapsenumerate them, e.g. he is1. compassionate – V12. understanding – V23. etc. – V3The more we have of these the better. The mere thought of one will inspiremetta. We may use this sparingly so that it will last us a long time.For example, when we think about v1, metta arises. Every time it dies down,we can use v1 to stir it up again. After some time v1 may not be effective(for the time being), then we use v2 to arouse metta. We will then continueto use v2 to arouse metta. When it loses effectiveness we can return to v1again. One can go on arousing metta with v1 and v2 until both do not seem towork. Then we proceed to v3.The other way is to see the lovableness of the person and thus to arousemetta is to recall the events one has associated with him or her that wouldinspire metta. It may be the help given, gifts

offered or just kind, gentlewords. One would naturally have to avoid recalling unpleasant moments. We canagain enumerate the events: Event 1. gifts given at birthday – E12. help in time of stress – E23. counselling in career – E34. etc. – E4We may apply the principle on the use of virtues to ensure ease of arousingmetta.When metta arises it has got to be sincere and come from the depth of one'sheart. It should be encouraged to flow abundantly and freely withoutinhibition. There is nothing wrong with giving metta to anyone, only it is tobe given in a suitable manner with wisdom and guarded against attachment.When metta arises one enables and urges it on with the use of 4 aspirations.1. May he/she be free from enmity/danger2. May he/she be free from mental suffering3. May he/she be free from physical suffering4. May he/she take care of

himself/herself happilyThe principle is that when we make each aspiration we do so with metta. Thiswould arouse more metta to keep it flowing on. It is also important that weunderstand the meaning of these aspirations clearly and sincerely mean it.Before the metta from the first one dies down, we make it continue on byusing the next. When we have used the 4th aspiration we start again with thefirst. This can go on indefinitely.The second point is that when one aspiration, e.g., "May he be free fromenmity", is very effective and can produce strong metta which can last a longtime, then we can let this flow go on as long as possible, in which case itwould continue to deepen.However, if the aspiration is not very effective, we may skip it or passthrough it quickly.A third point here is that there is a more positive aspect of each aspirationwhich can be borne in mind. If one intends to

emphasise a more positiveaspect it can be used with much effectiveness looking into the meaning ofeach aspiration.1. MAY HE/SHE BE FREE FROM ENMITY/DANGER.Enmity may refer to enmity within (e.g. defilement) and without us. A morepositive aspect will be "May he have a lot of loving kindness". Therefore wemay also use the wish "May he be safe". Enmity may also mean any dangerousand harmful elements within (e.g. defilements, bad kammic results ripening)or without (e.g. catastrophes, accident etc.)2. MAY HE/SHE BE FREE FROM MENTAL SUFFERING.Mental suffering refers to mental anguish, sorrow, frustrations, fears,despair, irritation and all types of defilements that are present to no end,as well as the unsatisfactoriness of conditioned existence. "May he/she bepeaceful and happy" is a positive wish for this second aspiration. 3. MAY HE/SHE BE FREE FROM PHYSICAL SUFFERING.Physical

suffering will include all forms of physical discomfort, illness,ailments and incompleteness. It is possible that the wish can be put as "Mayhe/she be healthy and strong".4. MAY HE/SHE TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF/HERSELF HAPPILY.This means that we wish him (or her) to be able to carry out all theactivities in his life or maintenance of life such as waking up, eating,caring for his livelihood, looking after his children, wife, house, whileresting, carrying out his spiritual activities and even having peacefulsleep.The last of those aspirations is by itself positive. The negative variant canbe "May he not have any trouble, problems, obstacles in taking care ofhimself".I have tried this on myself and others and it does have a different effectpsychologically, stronger towards well-wishing than negative phrasing whichtends towards compassion and cancellation of suffering. This is therefore onepart

that is worth consideration. A possible alternative would be to useboth, which would increase the aspirations from 4 to 8.Here we also notice that too many aspirations for the beginner may not bebeneficial to concentration. Hence we stick to just 4 aspirations.Another modification can be considered if a further specification of the wishis required, such as "May he be free from the deadly disease of cancer whichis afflicting him", or maybe even a single wish for a son that he may be ableto do well in his studies.These are more specific and therefore not applicable all the time and toeveryone. Nevertheless, it is a wholesome wish of metta and, when made withstrong and deep concentration, will have its effects.At the beginning, the flow is not smooth and does not last long. One has toguard against just merely reciting the aspiration without feeling. One has toguard against indiscriminate and

uncontrolled thinking (which leads torestlessness) while trying to arouse metta. One also has to guard againstfrustration if metta does not arise. Therefore it is very important thatmindfulness is present when these hindrances arise.