Sad Weekend / Sad Poem

[Guest guest]

This is a sad poem but also a teacher of equinimity. I had a down in the dumps weekend and the reminder that no one escapes days like this. Again, we are never alone. (smiles) Autumn Comes Autumn comes. Making it's arrival known as that of a ballerina; Graceful flowing dance. Tis' the season for love and lovers, when all of the sunny day and chilly night rituals come to fruition. Priceless forever moments. One after another, after another. Walking closer together, or cuddling for warmth, then hand in hand, nose to nose, forgetting one was ever cold in the first place. Just one tiny example of love's infinite examples. The sacred embrace, surrounded by finger food offerings- Chocolate covered strawberries and the thin sliced cheeses stolen from tranquil meditating cows.Yes, this is funny. Happy funny. The laughter born of togetherness, of love, and perhaps one too many sips of very sweet wine. Blame it on the glowing fireplace embers. They become hypnotic so easily, as does that of love. Everything becomes, and is love. Reality's definition merely a fog. Nothing needs to be touched or changed. It simply is... Autumn comes. Making it's arrival known to me like that of a

fiery planecrash. Twisted smoldering rubble. Inhaling, I taste the anguish. Tis' not seen as a year's season, instead, a life's season. Winter comes so quickly, and this, an association of death. This is my Autumn of falling leaves and silent cursing reflecting back. Nothing more. So many unmarked forks in the road. Flip a coin and keep walking. Fifty fifty odds, yet wrong every time. How did this happen? Life, the basic simple joys eluded me, or, living in the dark may not have been seen. Now, just water under the bridge; A dangeroud scenerio for one who cannot swim, yet here I am. still here. A void with a name. A body which has no comprehension what a self is, and a heart which has never experienced love. Mutual unconditional love. (sighs). Today's tears, more drops of water to pour under the bridge tomorrow. The lake gets deeper and I become another day closer to total transparency. I ponder... When Winter does come, will there be anything left of me for death to take? Randy

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