Guest guest Posted February 29, 2012 Report Share Posted February 29, 2012 Voice Male " I keep hearing voices! " " What sort of voices? " " Usually they are female. " " Yeah! But what sort of females? " " Dark, fat and ugly! " " How do you know? If you hear only their voices, how can you tell? " " Because their voices are sweet and sexy. Generally, it is my experience that females with sweet voices are dark, fat and ugly! " " Okay! You seem to have some delusional problems. And when exactly do you hear them? " " Usually when I am fast asleep. But sometimes, even when I am awake. " " Uh huh! " " They even know my name. They address me in that sweet sexy voice of theirs. " " But have you ever seen any of them? " " No! Never! I just hear their voices. " " Okay. Now what exactly do they say to you? " " Oh, they do not exactly say anything much. They just keep asking me questions. " " That's very curious. What sort of questions? " " They ask me if I am married and if I have any children. They even ask me if I own a car or a scooter or some property. " " Are you sure that they are not interested in matrimony? " " They have never asked me to marry them. Not even for a simple date. " " Curious! What do they ask after you answer their questions? " " After I answer their questions, they ask me if I want an insurance policy or a credit card or a loan or even a guaranteed return on my investment. " " Oh I see! I think I have diagnosed your problem. You need to subscribe to the Do not disturb category, and all these disturbing voices will stop! " " But that is not my problem. I do not want them to stop. After they ask me probing questions like what my annual income is and how much I spend on my vacations, the least I expect from them is that they behave civilly. So when I ask them if they are married and whether they are interested in dating a lonely guy, they just bang the phone shut. Do you have anything to make them at least respond as I have been doing for so many years? " -Kishore Shah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 29, 2012 Report Share Posted February 29, 2012 Kishorda, Very nice. And you made the point succinctly. Sanjay Marwah '78 ________________________________ To: Undisclosed-Recipient@... Sent: Wednesday, 29 February 2012 9:40 AM Subject: Voice Male  Voice Male " I keep hearing voices! " " What sort of voices? " " Usually they are female. " " Yeah! But what sort of females? " " Dark, fat and ugly! " " How do you know? If you hear only their voices, how can you tell? " " Because their voices are sweet and sexy. Generally, it is my experience that females with sweet voices are dark, fat and ugly! " " Okay! You seem to have some delusional problems. And when exactly do you hear them? " " Usually when I am fast asleep. But sometimes, even when I am awake. " " Uh huh! " " They even know my name. They address me in that sweet sexy voice of theirs. " " But have you ever seen any of them? " " No! Never! I just hear their voices. " " Okay. Now what exactly do they say to you? " " Oh, they do not exactly say anything much. They just keep asking me questions. " " That's very curious. What sort of questions? " " They ask me if I am married and if I have any children. They even ask me if I own a car or a scooter or some property. " " Are you sure that they are not interested in matrimony? " " They have never asked me to marry them. Not even for a simple date. " " Curious! What do they ask after you answer their questions? " " After I answer their questions, they ask me if I want an insurance policy or a credit card or a loan or even a guaranteed return on my investment. " " Oh I see! I think I have diagnosed your problem. You need to subscribe to the Do not disturb category, and all these disturbing voices will stop! " " But that is not my problem. I do not want them to stop. After they ask me probing questions like what my annual income is and how much I spend on my vacations, the least I expect from them is that they behave civilly. So when I ask them if they are married and whether they are interested in dating a lonely guy, they just bang the phone shut. Do you have anything to make them at least respond as I have been doing for so many years? " -Kishore Shah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 29, 2012 Report Share Posted February 29, 2012 Thank you very much Ravin, Diwakar, Sanjay and Fatima. Kishore Shah 1974 -------------------------------------------------- Sent: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 12:51 PM To: <mgims > Subject: Re: Voice Male > Ha ha !! > Wish you had a solution for him !! > > > Sent from my i phone > > > >> Voice Male >> >> " I keep hearing voices! " >> >> " What sort of voices? " >> >> " Usually they are female. " >> >> " Yeah! But what sort of females? " >> >> " Dark, fat and ugly! " >> >> " How do you know? If you hear only their voices, how can you tell? " >> >> " Because their voices are sweet and sexy. Generally, it is my experience >> that females with sweet voices are dark, fat and ugly! " >> >> " Okay! You seem to have some delusional problems. And when exactly do you >> hear them? " >> >> " Usually when I am fast asleep. But sometimes, even when I am awake. " >> >> " Uh huh! " >> >> " They even know my name. They address me in that sweet sexy voice of >> theirs. " >> >> " But have you ever seen any of them? " >> >> " No! Never! I just hear their voices. " >> >> " Okay. Now what exactly do they say to you? " >> >> " Oh, they do not exactly say anything much. They just keep asking me >> questions. " >> >> " That's very curious. What sort of questions? " >> >> " They ask me if I am married and if I have any children. They even ask me >> if >> I own a car or a scooter or some property. " >> >> " Are you sure that they are not interested in matrimony? " >> >> " They have never asked me to marry them. Not even for a simple date. " >> >> " Curious! What do they ask after you answer their questions? " >> >> " After I answer their questions, they ask me if I want an insurance >> policy >> or a credit card or a loan or even a guaranteed return on my investment. " >> >> " Oh I see! I think I have diagnosed your problem. You need to subscribe >> to >> the Do not disturb category, and all these disturbing voices will stop! " >> >> " But that is not my problem. I do not want them to stop. After they ask >> me >> probing questions like what my annual income is and how much I spend on >> my >> vacations, the least I expect from them is that they behave civilly. So >> when >> I ask them if they are married and whether they are interested in dating >> a >> lonely guy, they just bang the phone shut. Do you have anything to make >> them >> at least respond as I have been doing for so many years? " >> >> -Kishore Shah >> >> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2012 Report Share Posted March 3, 2012 This guy is not the only one who hears voices. I have been troubled by an elusive voice who asks me always in a seductively lilting voice: " Oye Arvind, shadi kab kar rahe ho? " I wish sometimes I were Arvind and unmarried.  Bharat ________________________________ To: Undisclosed-Recipient@... Sent: Tuesday, 28 February 2012 8:10 PM Subject: Voice Male  Voice Male " I keep hearing voices! " " What sort of voices? " " Usually they are female. " " Yeah! But what sort of females? " " Dark, fat and ugly! " " How do you know? If you hear only their voices, how can you tell? " " Because their voices are sweet and sexy. Generally, it is my experience that females with sweet voices are dark, fat and ugly! " " Okay! You seem to have some delusional problems. And when exactly do you hear them? " " Usually when I am fast asleep. But sometimes, even when I am awake. " " Uh huh! " " They even know my name. They address me in that sweet sexy voice of theirs. " " But have you ever seen any of them? " " No! Never! I just hear their voices. " " Okay. Now what exactly do they say to you? " " Oh, they do not exactly say anything much. They just keep asking me questions. " " That's very curious. What sort of questions? " " They ask me if I am married and if I have any children. They even ask me if I own a car or a scooter or some property. " " Are you sure that they are not interested in matrimony? " " They have never asked me to marry them. Not even for a simple date. " " Curious! What do they ask after you answer their questions? " " After I answer their questions, they ask me if I want an insurance policy or a credit card or a loan or even a guaranteed return on my investment. " " Oh I see! I think I have diagnosed your problem. You need to subscribe to the Do not disturb category, and all these disturbing voices will stop! " " But that is not my problem. I do not want them to stop. After they ask me probing questions like what my annual income is and how much I spend on my vacations, the least I expect from them is that they behave civilly. So when I ask them if they are married and whether they are interested in dating a lonely guy, they just bang the phone shut. Do you have anything to make them at least respond as I have been doing for so many years? " -Kishore Shah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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