Re: New member, Old problems

Posted November 16, 2007 · November 16, 2007

Hi DZ...Welcome to the group/Family! I am sure you will have many answer you and give you amazing warmth and great insights, but if this is something you wish to discuss on a one on one situation to potential nail down some new ways to approach things that feel right to you or to hash over some possible explanations which you MAY find suit you, I am more than willing to offer my time to you freely. I am the Ambassador of Holistic & Alternative Healing for HH and also a Spiritual Counselor (not all preachy, just a title by human terms *grin*). At any rate, if that interests you please advise and we can set a time to meet and chat...just see how things fall or sail, hm? *soft smile*May you know you are free here, safe here and no one expects anything except to be treated with respect for all. Enjoy all the responses you will receive...some or even one may just speak directly to the root of what is troubling you or creating challenges. May this be so for you that you may feel so free everywhere you are and go, new soul friend. :: bow of respect ::Love, Light, Joy & Peace to you and your beloved ones, always.~Ali~"D. Zboyovski" <neocheat5@...> wrote: Hello everyone. I am a brand new member, I stumbled across this group by fate. I read

all the messages from the past day, and I've never seen such a sincere group of people.I've never been able to share this with anyone, except for my girlfriend of 7 years who experiences the same problems.I cannot relate to other people. Every time I am in a social situation, or even when I think about a social situation, I get horrible anxiety. This occurs even when hanging out with long time friends, or even family. I'm never able to act like myself, or express the views, opinions or emotions that I feel.I also have a major problem making decisions. Even deciding what to eat when I'm hungry turns into an hour long task.None of you may be able to help me, and I know I must help myself.. but I've been trying for years. I thought perhaps this might help, but even typing this out, I'm not sure of which words to say, or how to phrase how I feel. I figure all words are coming out wrong, and when I

don't even know how to express how I feel, how will anyone understand me?Thanks for listening.-dZ. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

Posted November 16, 2007 · November 16, 2007

Hello DZ. Welcome to the group! If I'm not mistaken I believe we have some people already in the group with some social anxieties ranging in many different areas who might be able to give you better insight than me. I just wanted to let you know that one of the beauties of instant communications online is that you can take your time and really say what you want to say. There's no one face to face with you pressuring you with their own expressions or body language. There's nothing to fear here in this family, we're all here for different reasons, but all toward the same goal. If you have something on your mind I encourage you to express it love knowing you will be completely excepted and not judged. And take your time doing it if need be. My deepest love to you,StefanieP.S. I believe you did a fine job expressing yourself in this post, and I know it was hard for you. >> Hello everyone. I am a brand new member, I stumbled across this group by fate. I read all the messages from the past day, and I've never seen such a sincere group of people.> > I've never been able to share this with anyone, except for my girlfriend of 7 years who experiences the same problems.> > > I cannot relate to other people. Every time I am in a social situation, or even when I think about a social situation, I get horrible anxiety. This occurs even when hanging out with long time friends, or even family. I'm never able to act like myself, or express the views, opinions or emotions that I feel.> > I also have a major problem making decisions. Even deciding what to eat when I'm hungry turns into an hour long task.> > > None of you may be able to help me, and I know I must help myself.. but I've been trying for years. I thought perhaps this might help, but even typing this out, I'm not sure of which words to say, or how to phrase how I feel. I figure all words are coming out wrong, and when I don't even know how to express how I feel, how will anyone understand me?> > Thanks for listening.> -dZ.> > > > ---------------------------------> Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.>

Posted November 17, 2007 · November 17, 2007

Hi, I am . I suffered with similar issues all of my life. They waxed and waned and I was functional..but I found a way to completely over come this problem and am free of it now. If you would like to talk to me I would be happy to share my story with you..soulfire22@... You can recover med free from this condition..some people use medication and that is a personal choice ..I have done both..but either way you can get your life back and live better than you ever have..best of lucklove and Lightkatherine"D. Zboyovski" <neocheat5@...> wrote: Hello everyone. I am a brand new member, I stumbled across this group by fate. I read all the messages from the past day, and I've never seen such a sincere group of people.I've never been able to share this with anyone, except for my girlfriend of 7 years who experiences the same problems.I cannot relate to other people. Every time I am in a social situation, or even when I think about a social situation, I get horrible anxiety. This occurs even when hanging out with long time friends, or even family. I'm never able to act like myself, or express the views, opinions or emotions that I feel.I also have a major problem making decisions. Even deciding what to eat when I'm hungry turns into an hour long task.None of you may be able to help me, and I know I must help myself.. but I've been trying for years. I thought perhaps this might help, but even typing

this out, I'm not sure of which words to say, or how to phrase how I feel. I figure all words are coming out wrong, and when I don't even know how to express how I feel, how will anyone understand me?Thanks for listening.-dZ. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

Be a better pen pal. Text or chat with friends inside . See how.

Posted November 17, 2007 · November 17, 2007

Hi, I am . I suffered with similar issues all of my life. They waxed and waned and I was functional most the time but terribly uncomfortable and felt like I was only half living..but I found a way to completely over come this problem and am free of it now. If you would like to talk to me I would be happy to share my story with you..soulfire22@... You can recover med free from this condition..some people use medication and that is a personal choice ..I have done both..but either way you can get your life back and live better than you ever have..best of lucklove and Light"D. Zboyovski" <neocheat5@...> wrote: Hello everyone. I am a brand new member, I stumbled across this group by fate. I read all the messages from the past day, and I've never seen such a sincere group of people.I've never been able to share this with anyone, except for my girlfriend of 7 years who experiences the same problems.I cannot relate to other people. Every time I am in a social situation, or even when I think about a social situation, I get horrible anxiety. This occurs even when hanging out with long time friends, or even family. I'm never able to act like myself, or express the views, opinions or emotions that I feel.I also have a major problem making decisions. Even deciding what to eat when I'm hungry turns into an hour long task.None of you may be able to help me, and I know I must help myself.. but I've

been trying for years. I thought perhaps this might help, but even typing this out, I'm not sure of which words to say, or how to phrase how I feel. I figure all words are coming out wrong, and when I don't even know how to express how I feel, how will anyone understand me?Thanks for listening.-dZ. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Mobile. Try it now.

Posted November 17, 2007 · November 17, 2007

Love yourself more, much more, if I may lightly suggest It struck me that even after writing a message with considerable clarity, you felt unsure whether you were coming across with sufficient clarity as to be understood. Perhaps, if you begin by not minding whether people accept you or not, whether people understand you or not, but rather, accepting yourself and loving yourself *anyway* regardless of " this or that " , there would be no problems ?

It is okay to be misunderstood. It is fine. All is well. You are loved. But do you love yourself enough ? The more you love yourself, the less you will think about whether other people understand, love or accept you or not. It wont matter (much).

Maybe, therefore, accept that people do not understand you, and love yourself anyway.Slowly and slowly, over time, you may come to observe that your anxiety has reduced greatly, as you begin to love yourself more and more.

But all this needs to be applied practically. Look forward then, perhaps, to your next anxious moment, as an opportunity to accept and love yourself more deeply than before.Such moments are the key to transformation. What is the obstruction is also the door to liberation from itself. What this means practically is that it is okay to be misunderstood.Regards,SaurabOn 17/11/2007, D. Zboyovski <

neocheat5@...> wrote:

Hello everyone. I am a brand new member, I stumbled across this group by fate. I read all the messages from the past day, and I've never seen such a sincere group of people.I've never been able to share this with anyone, except for my girlfriend of 7 years who experiences the same problems.

I cannot relate to other people. Every time I am in a social situation, or even when I think about a social situation, I get horrible anxiety. This occurs even when hanging out with long time friends, or even family. I'm never able to act like myself, or express the views, opinions or emotions that I feel.

I also have a major problem making decisions. Even deciding what to eat when I'm hungry turns into an hour long task.None of you may be able to help me, and I know I must help myself.. but I've been trying for years. I thought perhaps this might help, but even typing this out, I'm not sure of which words to

say, or how to phrase how I feel. I figure all words are coming out wrong, and when I don't even know how to express how I feel, how will anyone understand me?Thanks for listening.-dZ. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

Posted November 17, 2007 · November 17, 2007

Writing from one who is "usually" misunderstood....I, can understand your feeling of "misunderstanding". It has been my experience, as I have aged, to understand, that I am unique. I am different. You know what? I am proud to be just that. I realize now, I am not just another average person.....I am ME.....I further understand, that what I do, and what I say....comes from good intent within my heart, from peace, from love. I am no longer embarressed by myself, but proud to be that who I am....for I no longer have to play the role of Cybil and "try" to please everyone else. Rather, I live to please the God...the Good within me.....for that is all that is really important

after all. So, Yes, I speak up. Yes, I get looks. Yes, I am often misunderstood. But there is that ONE....who looks at me with such appreciation, and quietly says to me, "I got it". And, not through ego, but through perserverance, I am grateful for the ability to speak my TRUTH.Love to the group,Robin----- Original Message ----From: saurab marjara <techyog@...> Sent: Friday, November 16, 2007 11:16:41 PMSubject: Re: [] New member, Old problems

Love yourself more, much more, if I may lightly suggest It struck me that even after writing a message with considerable clarity, you felt unsure whether you were coming across with sufficient clarity as to be understood. Perhaps, if you begin by not minding whether people accept you or not, whether people understand you or not, but rather, accepting yourself and loving yourself *anyway* regardless of "this or that", there would be no problems ?

It is okay to be misunderstood. It is fine. All is well. You are loved. But do you love yourself enough ? The more you love yourself, the less you will think about whether other people understand, love or accept you or not. It wont matter (much).

Maybe, therefore, accept that people do not understand you, and love yourself anyway.Slowly and slowly, over time, you may come to observe that your anxiety has reduced greatly, as you begin to love yourself more and more.

But all this needs to be applied practically. Look forward then, perhaps, to your next anxious moment, as an opportunity to accept and love yourself more deeply than before.Such moments are the key to transformation. What is the obstruction is also the door to liberation from itself. What this means practically is that it is okay to be misunderstood.Regards,SaurabOn 17/11/2007, D. Zboyovski <

neocheat5 (DOT) com> wrote:

Hello everyone. I am a brand new member, I stumbled across this group by fate. I read all the messages from the past day, and I've never seen such a sincere group of people.I've never been able to share this with anyone, except for my girlfriend of 7 years who experiences the same problems.

I cannot relate to other people. Every time I am in a social situation, or even when I think about a social situation, I get horrible anxiety. This occurs even when hanging out with long time friends, or even family. I'm never able to act like myself, or express the views, opinions or emotions that I feel.

I also have a major problem making decisions. Even deciding what to eat when I'm hungry turns into an hour long task.None of you may be able to help me, and I know I must help myself.. but I've been trying for years. I thought perhaps this might help, but even typing this out, I'm not sure of which words to

say, or how to phrase how I feel. I figure all words are coming out wrong, and when I don't even know how to express how I feel, how will anyone understand me?Thanks for listening.-dZ. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Mobile. Try it now.

Posted November 17, 2007 · November 17, 2007

!!! WOW !!! VERY well-spoken! I applaud your courage and love so

fierce,for yourself and others! What a wonderful message you're

sending! Thank you so very much,precious one!

>

> Hello everyone. I am a brand new member, I stumbled

across this group by fate. I read all the messages from the past day,

and I've never seen such a sincere group of people.

>

> I've never been able to share this with anyone, except for my

girlfriend of 7 years who experiences the same problems.

>

> I cannot relate to other people. Every time I am in a social

situation, or even when I think about a social situation, I get

horrible anxiety. This occurs even when hanging out with long time

friends, or even family. I'm never able to act like myself, or

express the views, opinions or emotions that I feel.

>

> I also have a major problem making decisions. Even deciding what to

eat when I'm hungry turns into an hour long task.

>

> None of you may be able to help me, and I know I must help myself..

but I've been trying for years. I thought perhaps this might help,

but even typing this out, I'm not sure of which words to

> say, or how to phrase how I feel. I figure all words are coming

out wrong, and when I don't even know how to express how I feel, how

will anyone understand me?

>

> Thanks for listening.

> -dZ.

>

> Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

>

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> with Mobile. Try it now.

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>

Posted November 17, 2007 · November 17, 2007

DZ,

I suffered from social anxiety for a long time, but today I no longer have a problem with it. I can only tell you what helped me. Someone told me to look in my mirror everyday and say "Creator, show me what you see in me". I did that for about a year and some days now I still do it. It was a matter, for me, of learning to love myself and becoming confident that who I am is pretty great. Not all that I am is great, but today most of who I am is great. When I felt good about myself, I no longer cared much what others thought of me. I come from a family where I am considered the kook and they make fun of me all the time. I used to get so angry about it, but now that I love myself, I know that what they think of me is none of my business and I have good relationships with them. I used to let them be very verbally abusive to me, but because I care about myself today, I no longer allow that. If people are abusive to me I am willing to cut them out of my life but surprisingly enough they stopped being abusive when I began to love myself more. I still question my decisions when I am feeling a bit insecure but on a daily basis I do pretty well. And I am no longer afraid to go out of my house, because I no longer have to keep my mask on.......I can just be myself. The mask is exhausting. I remember it well.

Love and Light, Cheryl

May we learn to benefit the life of Earth with peace, humble in our needs,and generous in our giving.Joanne SunshowerSee what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

Posted November 17, 2007 · November 17, 2007

I completely understand! I was that way for a loooooong time! I've slowly grown out of it and I thing alot of it has to do with the people I surround my self with now. Even now I have moments when I just feel uncomfortable in my own skin and everything I say comes out wrong. I still have trouble making decisions from time to time in fear of making the wrong choice - even obsessing over something as simple as dinner like you said. You are not alone and it is a struggle, but don't give up! There is a whole world of happines out there you are missing out on. I think back on how many good times and great memories I missed out on by staying at home because I was too afraid of being around other people. I feared saying the wrong thing, looking stupid, being made fun of, not being accepted. The more I let go of those feelings over time, the better I felt. I hope you eventually begin to feel more free and start to

take advantage of the pleasure in being with other people and experiencing your life. DeNiSe"D. Zboyovski" <neocheat5@...> wrote: Hello everyone. I am a brand new member, I stumbled across this group by fate. I read all the messages from the past day, and I've never seen such a sincere group of people.I've never been able to share this with anyone, except for my girlfriend of 7 years who experiences the same problems.I cannot relate to other people. Every time I

am in a social situation, or even when I think about a social situation, I get horrible anxiety. This occurs even when hanging out with long time friends, or even family. I'm never able to act like myself, or express the views, opinions or emotions that I feel.I also have a major problem making decisions. Even deciding what to eat when I'm hungry turns into an hour long task.None of you may be able to help me, and I know I must help myself.. but I've been trying for years. I thought perhaps this might help, but even typing this out, I'm not sure of which words to say, or how to phrase how I feel. I figure all words are coming out wrong, and when I don't even know how to express how I feel, how will anyone understand me?Thanks for listening.-dZ. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

Be a better pen pal. Text or chat with friends inside . See how.

Posted November 18, 2007 · November 18, 2007

Hi dZ,

I am new to this group too, but just coming onto this group today,

and only the second time I've logged on... (and have not even gotten

the chance to go through and read the different posts as of yet), in

reading your message, I can say, I do really understand this too and

did want to respond to it.

When I was younger I was very excessively shy and unsure, and I went

through the same types of feelings that you are describing here as

well, it was a very painful experience to go through day after day.

I am not sure exactly when that changed for me, whether I out grew

it, or what ever happened to change it for me, except to say that I

do remember coming at one point to the thought that maybe if I was

feeling this way, I was not the only one... and that maybe others

felt this way too, but just covered it much better or something, or

that maybe it just did not matter as much to them to know what to

say. I figured maybe it was just that I was a bit more sensative, and

was worried to say a thing that might hurt that other person, where

as someone else might not consider that thought as that they might

say soething hurtful, or something dumb. Anyway... after a time, I

began to think that maybe someone else had the same " dumb question "

or " dumb remark " that I was thinking on their mind too, but that they

too were afraid to ask it or to say it... so I just started to ask

thoes questions that I thought were dumb, or to say those silly

remarks that I thought people might laugh at, and found that often

others were in fact thinking the same thing and were very relieved

that someone else had said it first... for they too were afraid.

So, it seems to me that maybe you are a very sensitive person, and

that just maybe it is not just your own pain that you are worried

about feeling, but the pain of others too. You might be afraid that

you will feel awkward, but maybe you are afraid of causing them to

feel awkward at your presence as well... if that makes any sense.

I think that if you realize that it is okay to be a sensative person,

and that the same things that cause you worry at this time, can be

the same thing that gives you the strength to help someone else who

is sensative and feeling alone, that maybe this can change around for

you. Just a thought, I do hope it helps.

As for making decissions... that seemed to go along with the

territory too... when I got over being worried about talking, the

other also seemed to get better for me too.

Much love and light to you!,

Cyndi

> Hello everyone. I am a brand new member, I stumbled

across this group by fate. I read all the messages from the past

day, and I've never seen such a sincere group of people.

>

> I've never been able to share this with anyone, except for my

girlfriend of 7 years who experiences the same problems.

>

> I cannot relate to other people. Every time I am in a social

situation, or even when I think about a social situation, I get

horrible anxiety. This occurs even when hanging out with long time

friends, or even family. I'm never able to act like myself, or

express the views, opinions or emotions that I feel.

>

> I also have a major problem making decisions. Even deciding what

to eat when I'm hungry turns into an hour long task.

>

> None of you may be able to help me, and I know I must help myself..

but I've been trying for years. I thought perhaps this might help,

but even typing this out, I'm not sure of which words to say, or how

to phrase how I feel. I figure all words are coming out wrong, and

when I don't even know how to express how I feel, how will anyone

understand me?

>

> Thanks for listening.

> -dZ.

>

> ---------------------------------

> Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better pen pal. Text or chat with friends inside .

See how.

>

Posted November 18, 2007 · November 18, 2007

My friend, because I CAN RELATE, so clearly, I will reply a little more on this subject.I, too, am new to this group...very happy to be here, .and a member of many. I enjoy the experience, and love the sharing. Is that not Life....a journey of experiences and sharing and learning and lessons, for we are not alone...but rather ALL ONE.Understand, this, as well, my friend. I learned....there are no right or wrong questions....nor are there right or wrong answers....there are only the questions that exist....and your answers to them. And, each is perfect, for each has its place....".you"....attracted the question....and the answer is a reflection of your beliefs. Realize many

of the thoughts, actions and beliefs that make you the persona that you are....are not made by you, but rather, made by others who told you what you are, and who you are. You were born perfect, and innocent. Others important to you began to tell you, you are smart, you are dumb, you are skinny, you are fat, you are pretty, you are ugly, you are this, you are that.... If you do not like not choose to be these beliefs of others...then look at yourself, and see that which you really are...for you are everything, and everything is you....and this goes along with decision...and indecision. For...I now find...making a decision is quite easy for I realize...it is not the END ALL. It is only a decision. If I do not like my decision....I can always change it...for in each moment exists change..Change is the only constant, .and if the first decision is no longer my belief system, or that which I stand for through further observation and

lessons....perfect, as is everything...because as a human, I have free choice...free will....and my opportunities and options are infinateless. (sp?_Also, you did not discover this group by fate....for when it is time...all discoveries that are meant to be...appear. You cannot understand that which is not a part of you, so that you read the stories, and prayers and blessings, and get something out of them, means that you have all within you or you would not have understood a single word. So, you are all of this...and all of us...and we are a part of you. I think this is enough...I do not wish to overwhelm you, but, to put in my thoughts.....So, my friend, happiness in the world of decision/change of mind, speaking, silence, thought, action, reaction...for this is just simply called THE JOURNEY OF LIFE...and we welcome you....to experience it with us.Love and love and peace and peaceRobin----- Original Message ----From: cyndi_archer <cyndi245891@...> Sent: Saturday, November 17, 2007 8:58:56 PMSubject: [] Re: New member, Old problems