Funny, words of Wisdom

[Guest guest]

I especially like the last one. Enjoy!

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> - Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead

> of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either.

> Just leave me the hell alone.

>

> -- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt

> and a leaky tire.

>

> -- It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal

> the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

>

> -- It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

>

> -- Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting

any.

>

> -- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

>

> -- No one is listening until you make a mistake.

>

> -- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

>

> -- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

>

> -- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a

> warning to others.

>

> -- It is far more impressive when others discover your good

> qualities without your help.

>

> -- If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple

> of car payments.

>

> -- If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

>

> -- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was

> probably worth it.

>

> -- If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

>

> -- You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

>

> -- When someone says, " Do you want my opinion? " - it's always a

> negative one.

>

> -- The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

>

> -- The trouble with work is - it's so daily.

>

> -- The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that

> little extra.

>

> -- Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3

> friends, if they are OK, you're it.

>

> -- Pain and suffering are inevitable but misery is optional.

>

> -- Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like

> clearing the drive before it has stopped snowing

>