Stress and the Holidays

[Guest guest]

STRESS AND THE HOLIDAYS:

A perfect holiday season is possible if you follow a strategy to alleviate holiday pressure and prevent burnout.

By Charleen Stroup, LPN

"Have you ever dreamt about a perfect holiday? You know, the one where you complete your holiday shopping early and wrap and tag all the gifts a few hours after bringing them home, no relatives or friends pop in for surprise visits that you're ill prepared for, your kids are healthy, your parents and siblings are happy and the main meal you cooked comes out perfectly. In this world, you've even found the most beautiful tree -- at a discount, no less -- and everyone took part in decorating it ... without complaining!"

"It's too bad our lives aren't structured that way. As health care professionals, we know the only certainty is that things will change, and we've come to accept that December is a stressful month. But with the right approach, you can help relieve some of the tension and have a happier holiday."

PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT:

"Identifying the stressors is the first step to alleviating them. What adds to your stress at this time of year? Make a list. Include everything such as: buying gifts, lines at the post office and in the stores; writing letters and cards; extra baking and cooking; family visits (and greater potential for conflicts); credit card bills; not enough sleep; too much to do; Christmas parties and extra church/work/social events."

"Your mind guides your emotions, so if you tell yourself, "I hate the holidays. I dread them and wish we could fast-forward from Nov. 15 to Jan. 2," then your emotions will follow and you will hate that month and a half and look forward to it being over. That's no way to live."

"A different approach is to use the positive power of your mind to reframe your viewpoint. Change your self-talk to something positive. "I know the kids enjoy the holidays. I used to dread them, but they'll be OK this time and they'll be over before long."

"The holidays are actually only a small portion of the year. Whatever caused your dread in the past has carried over to a preconceived anticipation for this year. Give yourself permission to do something different, to feel the way you do and make choices that are right for you and your family. Using positive self-talk will increase the odds that your emotions will also be positive."

CONTROL YOUR TIME:

"Having more control of your time will also allow you more time to enjoy the holidays and also get things done. Learn to say "no" to things you don't want to participate in and which only add to your time demands. Look for things to eliminate in your already-too-busy schedule. This will provide you with more time for yourself and more energy to do what you want."

"If you tend to worry a lot, try putting pen to paper and vent your worries and frustrations. Many studies have shown that writing helps reduce stress, manage one's weight, improve sleep and fight illness. (1, 2) These writings can be discarded, or can be kept and used as a stress diary to help identify where your greatest stressors lie. The term burnout is often used to describe the feelings of extreme stress, the inability to continue with your current activities, the loss of interest in events and the frustration from an over-booked schedule. If these stressors are not dealt with, burnout often turns into major depression, which can be a more serious mental problem, requiring behavioral modification and medication."

YOUR OWN CARE PLAN:

"To prevent holiday stress and burnout, use a care plan strategy."

"1) 'Assess' the situation. Determine what is on your schedule and what is expected of you, and then prioritize those items."

"2) 'Diagnose' any problem areas that you can foresee at this time."

"3) 'Plan' how you will deal with those problems, times that will be especially demanding, items you can delegate to other family members, things that can wait until after the holidays and the items you will simply drop from the list. What is the 'outcome' you would like to see happen?"

"Take the time to think about each and every item on your problem list, e.g. how to say 'no' kindly. Begin to 'implement' your plan as soon as possible to accomplish as much as possible. Figure out what 'interventions' you need to put in place to reach your desired goal. When the holidays are over, 'evaluate' how your plan worked so that you can make alterations for next year, and begin your 'care plan' immediately so that next year's holiday season is even easier than this year's."

REFERENCES:

1. Smyth, J.M. et al. (1999) Effects of writing about stressful experiences. JAMA, 281 (14), 1304-1309.

2. Stone, A.A., et al. (2000) Structured writing about stressful events. Health Psychology, 19 (6), 619-624.

RESOURCES:

Alden, S. (2005) Holiday Stress Survival Kit. Retrieved Oct. 5, 2005 from the World Wide Web: http://depression.about.com/cs/holidayblues/a/holidaystress.htm

Chen, D. (2003) Eight Tips for More Joy, Less Stress. Retrieved Oct. 5, 2005 from the World Wide Web:

http://www.lhj.com/lhj/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/lhj/story/data/8TipsforMoreJoyLessStress_10272003.xml

Kovalovich, L. (2000) Ten Ways to Enjoy Your Family More. Retreived Oct. 5, 2005 from the World Wide Web:

http://www.lhj/com/lhj/storyjhtml?storyid=/templatedata/lhj/story/data/RZ_10waystoenjoyfamily_03192002.xml

Institute of TAFE Tasmania and the Drysdale Institute. Time Management. (2005) Retreived Oct. 5, 2005 from the World Wide Web: http://www.tafe.tas.edu/au/learningsupport/preparing/time_management.htm

** Charleen Stroup is a mental health professional for Daybreak Behaviorial Health Services of Florida Hospital Heartland Division, Lake Placid, FL.