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Yes, it was me & I am making a public apology

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I received an email tonight after my latest post - DD's IQ,

Achievement and Developmental Inventory. I find myself struggling

trying to figure out exactly how to say this w/o

1. offending someone else &

2. trying not to sound like I am making excuses.

It was my post that prompted the moderator (Pam, is it?) to send out

the reminder over the rules on posting messages. Specifically,for the

inclusion of a private correspondence in a post that is sent out on a

public list. Wow! Now I'm not even sure if I should say the author of

the private correspondnce's name.

Let me just say this:

I take full responsibility for my actions and for any damages they

may have caused. I AM SORRY!

Although, I am naturally inclined to offer an explanation for what I

did there really is no excuse.

Still, I will attempt to provide an explanation. Immediately after I

was made aware of my actions (in more ways than one) with great

remorse and embarrassment, I apologized profusely! I explained that

there was nothing she said that came across to me as offensive in any

way.

Also, for the past 3 years I haven't met another parent with a child

that has autism or even just sensory processing disorder. Not in my

neighborhood, in my youngest daughter's school at a nearby church,

that goes to the same therapy provider, or anywhere else in the

area, I have never seen any notices of support groups, meetings or

anything else, either.

My friends and most family members tried to be supportive (if you

could call it that) but just didn't understand and didn't get it. For

example, why she keeps jumping on the bed/couch & taking her clothes

off. They would say you need to be more consistent, you let her get

away with too much, you were so much harder on your oldest daughter.

My dad kept saying there is nothing wrong with her, she's normal, the

reason she doesn't talk is because I do the talking for her so she

doesn't have to. Then there are the family member(s) who are in such

complete denial that the mere thought of anything that might alter

their perception of the perfect life is incomprehensible. So much so,

that there couldn't possibly be any other explanation for the

youngest's daughters constant behavioral problems other than she

is " just a very strong-willed child " .

With the looks I get from them, you would think that by simply

entertaining the idea of something possibly being " wrong " with my

child, going so far as to talk about it and even actively seeking

answers and treatments that I am virtually abusing her or doing her

some other grave injustice.

So, I guess when I found a place where people share stories, ask

questions, understand the frustrations, the joys, what you are going

through and offer encouragement and support I was so relieved and

excited. So much so, that it never occured to me that there could

possibly be anyone on here other than a parent, grandparent, etc. Let

alnoe " lurkers " ! Yes, I am so naive!

The later it gets the more I ramble.

I just will end by saying again that I am truly sorry.

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