Believing In Something

[Guest guest]

From the book " Living On Love" - "Money Is Love" - Unedited Version - Light Revisions By : KnightsIntent

Chapter 26

Believing in Something

Last night I watched this weird movie for the first time. Oh, what the heck was it called? I can't remember now. Oh – "Easy Rider"! Anyway, the thing is … he the actor said something half-ways through the show, kind of a weird show, anyway, don't know if I fully get the show I think IT was trying to make a political statement at the time about freedom and long hair and… Whatever! Anyway, the guy said, just out of the blue.

"If God didn't exist, the need to invent him would become necessary." I think that's what he said, close enough, anyway.

That really rings true! Do you think we need something to believe in and something to look forward to? Believing in something, looking forward to something much the same thing. It's just we want to believe in something larger than us, larger than all of this, larger than our lives.

Being able to create and direct my life experience is like that. It is something I need to be able to believe in. I don't care if its real or not I need it to be and that is all there is to it.

Going off the topic. Was here yesterday to do this job, but I couldn't get in, because the mother in-law was here before I was and she closed the door and left the key inside. So today I've come and there was suppose to be something here for me to do this job and it's not here. Yesterday when I came I didn't really feel like doing the job, and so I got out of it. Because, you know, I didn't want to say "I don't wanna do the job today". So, rather than being up front with what I really want and really follow my joy… Rather than being straightforward with what I want, I go sideways. So the Universe had to create an excuse for me not to have to do this job yesterday. Which means the mother-in-law comes here, does something and then forgets the key. There are a whole lot of strings attached to that, because people feel bad. And of course they know I came here to do the job… See, you kind of wonder about creating ability. And sometimes, of course, people, other people, they are creating their own situations and they maybe are creating things that will give some reasons for them to feel bad. Maybe because they have come to believe they are bad.

I know, that sounds strange why would anyone want to create that? Well, maybe we don't do that on purpose. We do it subconsciously by thinking about mistakes we make, and so forth. And so we tell the Universe to create more of that stuff. So the universe brings the guy who does not want to work together with the one who feels she makes mistakes. Everyone gets what we created not necessarily what we want, unless we are creating what we want.

Anyway, back to God thing. I think we really need something to believe in. And all these years thinking back over the years when I was so unhappy and I was trying to find happiness… And you know, I kept going and kept trying things and so forth. I mean, there were times when I gave up, yah; but generally, what kept me going was the hope that there is a possibility that I could get to a happy life even though I didn't believe I would really make it. It's kind of weird how can you believe you'll never make it and yet still have hope? That's what hope is, I think. It's just reaching beyond what we believe this is hope. That's where believing starts.

I'm trying to take time off from this tiling and other stuff. Just take time to myself to think about all this stuff, and think about the direction of my life because I don't know where the heck I'm going. I mean, what's the point of all this? What's the point of what I'm doing right now? You know, when I ran it through quickly in my head there are a hundred different combinations of ideas that came up, but the real reason I don't know. I don't know why I'm doing it. I guess, in hopes of reaching further. I think and I hope I can expand to even more happiness. In a hope of being even able to create more, easier, maybe it's a hope that other people can also see it you know, that they can get out of where they are.

So the question is "What to do? What to believe in?" Believe in a God? I mean, even though there is no evidence of God coming here and looking after people… I mean you couldn't prove it scientifically any more than you can prove or disprove some of the New Age stuff that people decide to believe in. Like Angels and so forth. And, of course, when we believe and then we say, "Hey, look, there is a miracle! That's part of…" But that's it is not really proof. It's proof to ourselves; it's the proof that we want, but not really proof like a coffee table sitting in front of you.

So we believe and we want to believe and we use this belief as proof, because it satisfies this belief satisfies our needs and calms us. I think, partially, that's because we've forgotten the main reason why we are here. In the whole process of forgetting who we are and coming here, I think, we've forgotten the reason behind it. And that is to experience joy, to experience fun, to experience love to experience this life! So in a sense I was kind of searching for more happiness? Are we searching for the things that might bring us happiness? Are we searching for the fact of what we are searching for?

I mean, really sometimes in the past I don't think I knew what I was looking for. I thought it was more happiness, but I wasn't sure. Or was it relief from the pain? In some case, when I'm looking back, I think I was looking for relief of the pain. Because that's the first reaction to looking for more happiness when we are sensing pain instead of the happiness we are looking for relief and so we search to get rid of the pain.

See, in that searching to get rid of pain we get sidetracked, right? We use things like alcohol, for instance, and so forth to get rid of the pain. When in fact those things are giving us more pain. So the trick is – I think you know – what we are really searching for. I'm not too sure what I am searching for. Trying to figure that out. I know some things that I want. Not even physical things. I like the creating part, I like to read, Somewhere, I almost sometimes feel like I'm missing – I'm missing something, I'm missing the point.

See, at the same token, I'm sort of saying

"Oh, isn't this the point?" That I'm… sort of in my head going "Is that enough? Is that it?"

Still I feel out of it, see? That's weird; yesterday I was way out of it. I felt just totally scared. It's like there is something in the air and all of a sudden I just go whack! It's like electricity. Something has changed. I mean something is really changing in my body I never had a problem with eating meat before and now I can hardly stand it. I smell it cooked and I almost throw up. I walk past the meat in a supermarket and I almost throw up.

What your seeing or reading right now is a common reaction to an increase flow of love and the process of constantly creating. While I'm playing with creating my heart center is opening and more love and energy is flowing thru and out. As this happens you move closer to all that is; use what name you want, your body changes your thoughts change you begin to question yourself and your beliefs. A lot of people experience this and then get scared and or confused. This is why I wanted you to see this.

Two years ago I quit smoking. Not really what I wanted to do I loved smoking. God, it's one of my favorite things, but all of a sudden my body said, "That's it." I didn't really have a choice. The craving for it went away, it just vanished, puff that's it I just quit! Over, and done I don't really have a craving for it I just loved the smoking. You know, you get a cup of coffee, and you sit in a chair, and you smoke a cigarette, and you watch the little curls of smoke go up and blow away in a breeze. You are watching an old movie, you know, an old black-and-white movie. If you take the smoking out of there, it can be half as neat. And yet something happened and now my body is going through the same thing again on another level. Don't really like it.

I don't remember asking for it. But maybe it's because I'm asking for more joy? I'm doing more creating, right? Larger things, bringing them faster, and I know that's increasing the flow inside me. As the energy in me is flowing more, and I guess, I was saying before we are using appreciation, sort of. Creating more freely. That seems to create a finer vibration flowing through. So… finer vibration of love does that make sense? Something like that and that, in its self, I think is changing my body, changing things in me.

It's like there is more electricity flowing through me. It's vibrating sometimes; it's causing some little bit of scatterbrain, now that I think about it. I had that when I first started sending love and of course I was really pushing it at that time and I'm kind of pushing it now too with this. But I've had all kinds of effects because I was pushing so hard with sending love. That's why I told people "just take it easy, you know, work into it slowly, don't drive yourself crazy", because you could actually make yourself sick, if you push it too hard.

OK, chest pains you will feel like you have chest cold from it opening in your chest. You know, opening the heart center so fast! So, I mean there are days I could hardly breathe anymore from the pain in my chest. And it feels like you have bronchitis or something. That's what it feels like. And you can get all kinds of side effects, like I said feeling scattered and out of place.

So maybe creating, I'm doing right now, the way, I'm doing it is having that kind of effect on my body. That's sort of makes sense, see? So, it's a good thing that I'm doing this entire recording. Because maybe someone else is going through the same thing and they don't know if it's normal or not normal because how do we know? I mean, no one really tells us about all your going to go through with this stuff. When you are a yogi and you sit down under an apple tree and someone is bringing you food every day there is not a lot of stress. But when you do all this stuff and you live a day-to-day life, and you have everything to look after, like a job, family and so forth… And yeah, I have more freedom, I can stop any time and so forth. But today I'm on a job and what I'm doing and what I'm feeling and experiencing takes a lot of energy it takes more than just to do another job. Making changes is hard work.

source: http://k.livingonlove.com/money1of3.shtml"Money

Is Love" is an ongoing and mostly unfinished book in The "Living On

Love" Series, and is not what the name would seem to imply. It is a

fantastic read and reworked and updated regularly. Over 90 chapters to date dealing with using love to change your life, and many related matters.